Anyone who has walked the road can tell you…saving sex for marriage is a challenging journey. You can listen intently to people who say it is worthwhile and read all about it and see some concrete fruits of it in your dating relationships, and believe wholeheartedly that it will all have been worth the wait if you enter into a new life with a carefully chosen spouse. Everyone who makes this choice makes it for a different reason… some make it for reasons based on faith, some people make it for health reasons, and some people recognize the many benefits outside of faith that come along with such a commitment. Whatever the rationale behind the choice, it is a challenging journey filled with tough decisions, hard conversations, and plenty of snide commentary and patronizing remarks.
This decision, however, is not like other tough long-term decisions. Consider a weight loss journey—when you decide to lose forty pounds—you work off ten and you can feel yourself thinking, “Wow! This is worthwhile. I’m going to keep at it even though it’s really tough.” When you have tangible proof that every little hard choice of healthy eating and exercising has made a difference within days or weeks, it makes it easier to press on.
But the commitment to save sex for marriage is not like a weight loss journey, or paying off your graduate school loans little by little and watching the dollar amount go down. There is no way to really know in the thick of it just how worthwhile it will be to endure all the name-calling and laughter in a world that tells you sex is as casual and commonplace as ordering a pizza.
I have walked the road with all it entails. This is what I have learned; I want to share it with you from the other side.
Saving sex for marriage is worthwhile because the day after your wedding night you see this ring on your left hand. I picked a sparkly double row diamond band and he chose a white gold pipe cut band. We shopped long and hard to find the perfect ones.
There is a common misconception about wedding rings, and I know this because I am a woman who has been in conversations with groups of friends about attractive men observed in public—women trying to check to see if he has a ring. When they see the ring on his left hand flash by: “Darn it, he’s married!”
Here is the thing, though—this ring does not just mean that he is married. His ring is a sign that a woman promised her life to him. The ring is a sign of her promise, not his. The one she wears is the sign of his promise. As he puts the ring on her hand, he says to her, “I give you this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” So when you see a wedding ring on someone’s hand, it is a concrete sign that there is someone, somewhere in the world who promised to love that person forever.
On New Year’s Eve 2015, I woke up with a sparkly wedding ring on my hand. The day before, my spouse had placed it on my hand and promised to love me—in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for all the days of his life. Waiting until that ring was on my hand to give my virginity to a man was the best decision I have ever made (other than my decision to follow Jesus, of course).
Why? Because this ring did not leave any room for worry. This ring eliminated any possibility of regret, panic, or fear. This ring made it impossible for me to worry about what would happen next. It eliminated the questions that can fill people’s heads after sex with a stranger, with a boyfriend or girlfriend, with a friend: Will he call? What is she thinking? What did I just do? Are we now in a relationship? What happens now? What if someone finds out? What if I get pregnant? Should I feel guilty?
This ring on my hand was the assurance that none of those questions were necessary. This ring meant he would call. It meant that he would still be around in three weeks, six months, and five years. It meant that if I got pregnant, he would be right beside me for every moment of the pregnancy, of raising a child, of seeing that child into adulthood. It did not leave any room for feeling guilty, sad, regretful, or scared. It only made way for feelings of deep joy, peace, and the knowledge that I am loved—all of me—exactly as I am.
Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.
Waiting until that ring is on your hand is the best thing you could ever do for your current self, your future self, and your future marriage.
It is a worthwhile decision to save sex for marriage—whether you ever end up getting married or not. And even if you have not waited until that ring was on your hand, you can decide to begin anew today. I have countless friends who came to an impactful day in their lives when they decided that, “From this day forward, I will wait for my husband or wife.” Do not underestimate the power of our good God who promises to make all things new.
My friends, there is often great difficulty in making commitments which uphold our dignity, worth, and value—these resolutions consistently go against everything the culture proclaims from the rooftops about who we are and what is good and what love is. But these are the decisions which bring about true fulfillment, lasting peace, and authentic love. These are the decisions you will never regret. These are the decisions which made our wedding night beautiful.
Emily Wilson planned her whole life to become a sports reporter but ended up as a Catholic musician and speaker at the hands of God. She lives out of her suitcase and travels across the world speaking and singing with people of all ages. The heart of her ministry is offering encouragement to teen girls in their search for their true identity. “The world doesn’t need what women have, it needs what women are.” Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. You can visit her website and listen to her music at www.emwilsonmusic.com.
The greatest evangelist is, of course, Jesus himself, and there is no better presentation of Jesus’ evangelical technique than Luke’s masterful narrative concerning the disciples on the road to Emmaus. The story opens with two people going the wrong way. In Luke’s Gospel, Jerusalem is the spiritual center of gravity— it is the locale of the Last Supper, the Cross, the Resurrection and the sending of the Spirit. It is the charged place where the drama of Salvation unfolds. So in walking away from the capital city, these two erstwhile disciples of Jesus are going against the grain. Jesus joins them on their journey—though we are told that they are prevented from recognizing Him—and He asks them what they are talking about. Throughout His ministry, Jesus associated with sinners. He stood shoulder to shoulder in the muddy waters of the Jordan with those seeking forgiveness through the baptism of John; over and again, He ate and drank with disreputable types, much to the chagrin of the self-righteous; and at the end of His life, He was crucified in between two thieves. Jesus hated sin, but He liked sinners and was consistently willing to move into their world and to engage them on their terms. And this is a first great evangelical lesson. The successful evangelist does not stand aloof from the experience of sinners, passing easy judgment on them, praying for them from a distance; on the contrary, she loves them so much that she joins them and deigns to walk in their shoes and to feel the texture of their experience. Prompted by Jesus’ curious questions, one of the travelers, Cleopas by name, recounts all of the 'things' concerning Jesus of Nazareth: “He was a prophet mighty in word and deed before God and all the people; our leaders, though, put Him to death; we thought He would be the redeemer of Israel; this very morning, there were reports that He had risen from the dead.” Cleopas has all of the 'facts' straight; there is not one thing he says about Jesus that is wrong. But his sadness and his flight from Jerusalem testify that he doesn’t see the picture. I love the clever and funny cartoons in the New Yorker magazine, but occasionally, there is a cartoon I just don’t understand. I’ve taken in all of the details, I’ve seen the main characters and the objects around them, I’ve understood the caption. Yet, I don’t see why it’s funny. And then there comes a moment of illumination: though I haven’t seen any further detail, though no new piece of the puzzle has emerged, I discern the pattern that connects them together in a meaningful way. In a word, I 'get' the cartoon. Having heard Cleopas’ account, Jesus say: “Oh, how foolish you are! How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets said.” And then He opens the Scriptures to them, disclosing the great Biblical patterns that make sense of the 'things' that they have witnessed. Without revealing to them any new detail about Himself, Jesus shows them the form, the overarching design, the meaning—and through this process they begin to 'get' Him: their hearts are burning within them. This is the second great evangelical lesson. The successful evangelist uses the Scriptures in order to disclose the divine patterns and ultimately the Pattern who is made flesh in Jesus. Without these clarifying forms, human life is a hodge-podge, a blur of events, a string of meaningless happenings. The effective evangelist is a man of the Bible, for the Scripture is the means by which we 'get' Jesus Christ and, through Him, our lives. The two disciples press Him to stay with them as they draw near the town of Emmaus. Jesus sits down with them, takes bread, says the blessing, breaks it and gives it to them, and in that moment they recognize Him. Though they were, through the mediation of Scripture, beginning to see, they still did not fully grasp who He was. But in the Eucharistic moment, in the breaking of the bread, their eyes are opened. The ultimate means by which we understand Jesus Christ is not the Scripture but the Eucharist, for the Eucharist is Christ Himself, personally and actively present. The embodiment of the paschal mystery, the Eucharist, is Jesus’ love for the world unto death, His journey into godforsakenness in order to save the most desperate of sinners, His heart broken open in compassion. And this is why it is through the lens of the Eucharist that Jesus comes most fully and vividly into focus. And thus we see the third great evangelical lesson. Successful evangelists are persons of the Eucharist. They are immersed in the rhythms of the Mass; they practice Eucharistic adoration; they draw the evangelized to a participation in the body and blood of Jesus. They know that bringing sinners to Jesus Christ is never primarily a matter of personal witness, or inspiring sermonizing, or even exposure to the patterns of the Scripture. It is primarily a matter of seeing the broken heart of God through the broken bread of the Eucharist. So prospective evangelists, do what Jesus did. Walk with sinners, open the Book, break the Bread.
By: Bishop Robert Barron
MoreI remember a childhood story in which God, about to destroy Earth because of humanity's wrongdoing, looked down, saw the lilies of the field praying for mankind, and extended the end of time. It was my wife's desire to attend daily Mass that led us to the nearby Carmelite Monastery. I was immediately struck by the pervasive stillness and a sense of tranquility. Through the grilled gates, these nuns looked like God's lilies on earth. As I was introduced to their daily life, I was surprised to learn that the sisters make vestments, altar breads, and greeting cards. They even stitch their own habits, grow their own fruits and vegetables, and look after the other elderly sisters. Most of the day is spent in silence, which helps them to open up to the Lord and pray. The sisters even meet up twice a day to talk and share. The power of prayer and its impact dawned upon me. The Church has a rich tradition of prayer, through which we deeply connect with God, whether it's through attending Mass, reciting the Rosary, or simply taking a few moments to reflect on God's presence in our lives. The experience of visiting the Carmelite Monastery was truly humbling. It helped me reflect on the power of prayer and the importance of dedicating one's life to serving others, and left me with a sense of peace and renewed faith.
By: Winner Varghese
MoreThe Mexican Revolution which began in the early 1920s, led to the persecution of the Catholic community in that country. Pedro de Jesus Maldonado-Lucero was a seminarian at that time. Once he became a priest, despite the risk, he stood with his people. He tended to his flock during a terrible epidemic, founded new apostolic groups, reestablished associations, and ignited Eucharistic piety among his parishioners. Upon discovering his pastoral activities, the government deported him, but he managed to return and continue serving his flock, in hiding. One day, after hearing the confessions of the faithful, a gang of armed men busted his hiding place. Father Maldonado managed to grab a reliquary with Consecrated Hosts as they forced him out. The men forced him to walk barefoot throughout the town, as a crowd of the faithful followed him. The city mayor grabbed Father Maldonado's hair and dragged him toward the city hall. He was knocked to the ground, resulting in a skull fracture that popped out his left eye. He had managed to keep his grip on the pyx until this time, but now it fell out of his hands. One of the thugs took some Holy Hosts, and as he forcefully stuffed the hosts inside the priest’s mouth, he shouted: “Eat this and see if He can save you now.” Little did the soldier know that just the night before, during the Holy Hour, Father Maldonado had prayed that he would happily give his life for an end to the persecution ‘if only he would be allowed to take Communion before his death.’ The thugs left him for dead in a pool of his own blood. Some local women found him still breathing and rushed him to a nearby hospital. Father Pedro Maldonado was born into eternal life the next day, on the 19th anniversary of his priestly ordination. Pope John Paul II canonized this Mexican priest in 2000.
By: Shalom Tidings
MoreWhen Andrea Acutis arranged a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, he thought that his son would be excited. Carlo was keen on going to daily Mass and reciting his prayers, so his reply came as a surprise: "I prefer to stay in Milan … Since Jesus remains with us always, in the Consecrated Host, what need is there to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to visit the places where He lived 2000 years ago? Instead, tabernacles ought to be visited with the same devotion!" Andrea was struck by this great devotion that his son cherished for the Eucharist. Carlo was born in 1991, the year the World Wide Web was invented. The little genius walked when he was just four months old, and started reading and writing at the age of three. The world would’ve looked at his intellect and dreamt of a bright future but the Divine had different plans. Combining his love for the Eucharist and technology, he left the world a great legacy of a record of Eucharistic miracles from across the world. He began the collection in 2002 when he was just 11 years old and completed it a year before he succumbed to leukemia. This young computer geek, at such a young age, even built a website (carloacutis.com), a lasting record, with all the collected information. The Eucharistic exhibition he pioneered was held in five continents. Ever since, many miracles have been reported. On his website, he has written the lasting mission of his life on Earth: "The more Eucharist we receive, the more we will become like Jesus, so that on this Earth, we will have a foretaste of Heaven." This Italian teenage designer and computer whiz is soon to become Saint Carlo Acutis. Widely known as the first millennial patron of the internet, Blessed Carlo continues to draw millions of youngsters to the love of Jesus in the Eucharist.
By: Shalom Tidings
MoreWhen she lost her mobility, eyesight, listening, voice, and even the sense of touch, what prompted this young girl to describe her life as ‘sweet?’ Little Benedetta, at age seven, wrote in her diary: “The universe is enchanting! It is great to be alive.” This intelligent and happy lass, unfortunately, contracted polio in her childhood, which left her body crippled, but nothing could cripple her spirit! Hard Times on Roll Benedetta Bianchi Porro was born in Forlì, Italy, in 1936. As a teenager, she began to go deaf, but despite this, she entered medical school, where she excelled, taking oral exams by reading the lips of her professors. She had an ardent desire to become a missionary doctor, but after five years of medical training and just one year short of completing her degree, she was forced to end her studies due to increasing illness. Benedetta diagnosed herself with neurofibromatosis. There are several iterations of this cruel disease, and in Benedetta’s case, it attacked the nerve centers of her body, forming tumors on them and gradually causing total deafness, blindness, and later, paralysis. As Benedetta’s world shrank, she demonstrated extraordinary courage and holiness and was visited by many who sought her counsel and intercession. She was able to communicate when her mother would sign the Italian alphabet into her left palm, one of the few areas of her body that remained functional. Her mother would sign letters, messages, and Scripture painstakingly into Benedetta’s palm, and Benedetta would reply verbally despite her voice having been weakened to a whisper. “They’d come and go in groups of ten and fifteen,” said Maria Grazia, one of Benedetta’s closest confidantes. “With her mother as interpreter, she was able to communicate with each one. It seemed as though she could read our innermost souls with extreme clarity, even though she couldn’t hear or see us. I will always remember her with her hand extended ready to receive the Word of God and her brothers and sisters.” (Beyond Silence, Life Diary Letters of Benedetta Bianchi Porro) It’s not that Benedetta never experienced agony or even anger at this disease that was robbing her of the ability to become a medical doctor, but in accepting it, she became a doctor of another sort, a kind of surgeon to the soul. She was, indeed, a spiritual doctor. In the end, Benedetta was no less a healer than she ever desired to be. Her life had shrunken all the way down to the palm of her hand, it was no bigger than a Communion host—and yet, just like a Blessed Communion Host, it had become more powerful than she would have ever imagined. It is impossible to miss the correlation between Benedetta’s life and Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament who is hidden and small too, silent and even weak, but an ever-present friend to us. Towards the end of her life, she wrote to a young man who suffered similarly: “Because I'm deaf and blind, things have become complicated for me … Nevertheless, in my Calvary, I do not lack hope. I know that at the end of the road, Jesus is waiting for me. First in my armchair, and now in my bed where I now stay, I have found wisdom greater than that of men—I have discovered that God exists, that He is love, faithfulness, joy, certitude, to the end of the ages … My days are not easy. They are hard. But sweet because Jesus is with me, with my sufferings, and He gives me His sweetness in my loneliness and light in the darkness. He smiles at me and accepts my collaboration.” (Venerable Benedetta Biancho Porro, by Dom Antoine Marie, OSB) A Compelling Reminder Benedetta passed away on January 23, 1964. She was 27 years old. She was venerated on December 23, 1993, by Pope John Paul II and beatified on September 14, 2019, by Pope Francis. One of the great gifts that the Saints bring to the Church is that they give us a clear picture of what virtue looks like, even in incredibly difficult circumstances. We need to ‘see ourselves’ in the lives of the Saints in order to be strengthened for our own. Blessed Benedetta is truly a model of sanctity for our times. She is a compelling reminder that even a life filled with serious limitations can be a powerful catalyst for hope and conversion in the world and that the Lord knows and fulfills the deepest desire of every heart, often in surprising ways. A Prayer to Blessed Benedetta Blessed Benedetta, your world became as small as a communion wafer. You were immobilized, deaf, and blind, and yet you were a powerful witness to the love of God and the Blessed Mother. Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is hidden and small too, silent, immobilized, and even weak—and still all-powerful, ever present to us. Please pray for me, Benedetta, that I will collaborate, as you did, with Jesus, in whatever way He wishes to use me. May I be granted the grace to allow the Almighty Father to speak through my littleness and loneliness, too, for the glory of God and the salvation of souls. Amen.
By: Liz Kelly Stanchina
MoreQ - My many Christian friends celebrate ‘Communion’ every Sunday, and they argue that the Eucharistic presence of Christ is only spiritual. I believe Christ is present in the Eucharist, but is there any way to explain it to them? A – It is indeed an incredible claim to say that at every Mass, a small piece of bread and a small chalice of wine become the very flesh and blood of God Himself. It is not a sign or a symbol, but truly the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus. How can we make this claim? There are three reasons why we believe this. First, Jesus Christ said so Himself. In John’s Gospel, Chapter 6, Jesus says: “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For My flesh is true food, and My blood is true drink. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood remains in Me and I in him.” Whenever Jesus says, “Amen, Amen, I say to you…”, this is a sign that what He is about to say is completely literal. Further, Jesus uses the Greek word trogon which is translated ‘to eat’—but really means ‘to chew, gnaw, or rip with one’s teeth.’ It’s a very graphic verb which can only be used literally. Also, consider the reaction of His hearers; they walked away! It says in John 6: “as a result of this [teaching], many of His disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied Him.” Does Jesus chase them down, tell them that they misunderstood Him? No, He allows them to leave—because He was serious about this teaching that the Eucharist is truly His flesh and blood! Second, we believe because the Church has always taught it from its earliest days. I once asked a priest why there was no mention of the Eucharist in the Creed which we profess every Sunday—and he replied that it was because no one debated His Real Presence, so it wasn’t necessary to officially define it! Many of the Church Fathers wrote about the Eucharist—for example, Saint Justin Martyr, writing around the year 150 AD, penned these words: “For not as common bread and common drink do we receive these; but we have been taught that the food which is blessed by the prayer of His word, and from which our blood and flesh are nourished, is the flesh and blood of that Jesus who was made flesh.” Every Church Father is in agreement—the Eucharist is truly His flesh and blood. Finally, our faith is strengthened through the many Eucharistic miracles in the history of the Church—over 150 officially documented miracles. Perhaps the most famous occurred in Lanciano, Italy in the 800s, where a priest who doubted Christ’s presence was shocked to find that the Host became visible flesh, while the wine became visible as blood. Later scientific tests discovered that the Host was heart flesh from a human male, type AB blood (very common among Jewish men). The heart flesh had been badly beaten and bruised. The blood had congealed into five clumps, symbolizing the five wounds of Christ, and miraculously the weight of one of the clumps is equal to the weight of all five taken together! Scientists cannot explain how this flesh and blood has lasted for twelve hundred years, which is an inexplicable miracle in itself. But how can we explain how this happens? We make a distinction between accidents (what something looks like, smells like, tastes like, etc) and substance (what something actually is). When I was a young child, I was at my friend’s house, and when she left the room, I saw a cookie sitting on a plate. It looked delectable, smelled like vanilla, and so I took a bite…and it was soap! I was so disappointed, but it taught me that my senses could not always decipher what something actually is. In the Eucharist, the substance of bread and wine change into the substance of Christ’s body and blood (a process known as transubstantiation), while the accidents (the taste, smell, look) remain the same. It does indeed take faith to recognize that Jesus is truly present, since it cannot be perceived by our senses, nor is it something we can deduce with our logic and reason. But if Jesus Christ is God and He cannot lie, I am willing to believe that He is not a sign or symbol, but truly present in the Most Blessed Sacrament!
By: Father Joseph Gill
MoreMy new hero is Mother Alfred Moes. I realize that she is not a household name, even among Catholics, but she should be. She came on my radar screen only after I became the Bishop of the Diocese of Winona-Rochester, where Mother Alfred did most of her work and where she lies buried. Hers is a story of remarkable courage, faith, perseverance, and sheer moxie. Trust me, once you take in the details of her adventures, you will be put in mind of a number of other gritty Catholic Mothers: Cabrini, Teresa, Drexel, and Angelica, to name a few. Mother Alfred was born Maria Catherine Moes in Luxembourg in 1828. As a young girl, she became fascinated by the possibility of doing missionary work among the native peoples of North America. Accordingly, she journeyed with her sister to the New World in 1851. First, she joined the School Sisters of Notre Dame in Milwaukee but then transferred to the Holy Cross Sisters in La Porte, Indiana, a group associated with Father Sorin, CSC, the founder of the University of Notre Dame. After clashing with her superiors—a rather typical happenstance for this very feisty and confident lady—she made her way to Joliet, Illinois, where she became superior of a new congregation of Franciscan sisters, taking the name ‘Mother Alfred.’ When Bishop Foley of Chicago tried to interfere with the finances and building projects of her community, she set out for greener pastures in Minnesota, where the great Archbishop Ireland took her in and allowed her to establish a school in Rochester. It was in that tiny town in southern Minnesota that God commenced to work powerfully through her. In 1883, a terrible tornado tore through Rochester, killing many and leaving many others homeless and destitute. A local doctor, William Worrall Mayo, undertook the task of caring for the victims of the disaster. Overwhelmed by the number of injured, he called upon Mother Alfred’s sisters to help him. Though they were teachers rather than nurses and had no formal training in medicine, they accepted the mission. In the wake of the debacle, Mother calmly informed Doctor Mayo that she had a vision that a hospital should be built in Rochester, not simply to serve that local community, but rather the whole world. Astonished by this utterly unrealistic proposal, Doctor Mayo told Mother that she would need to raise $40,000 (an astronomical figure for that time and place) in order to build such a facility. She in turn told the doctor that if she managed to raise the funds and build the hospital, she expected him and his two physician sons to staff the place. Within a short span of time, she procured the money, and the Saint Mary’s Hospital was established. As I’m sure you’ve already surmised, this was the seed from which the mighty Mayo Clinic would grow, a hospital system that indeed, as Mother Alfred envisioned long ago, serves the entire world. This intrepid nun continued her work as builder, organizer, and administrator, not only of the hospital that she had founded, but of a number of other institutions in southern Minnesota until her death in 1899 at the age of seventy-one. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about the pressing need in our diocese for priests, and I urged everyone to become part of a mission to increase vocations to the priesthood. With Mother Alfred in mind, might I take the occasion now to call for more vocations to women’s religious life? Somehow the last three generations of women have tended to see religious life as unworthy of their consideration. The number of nuns has plummeted since the Second Vatican Council, and most Catholics, when asked about this, would probably say that being a religious sister is just not a viable prospect in our feminist age. Nonsense! Mother Alfred left her home as a very young woman, crossed the ocean to a foreign land, became a religious, followed her instincts and sense of mission, even when this brought her into conflict with powerful superiors, including a number of Bishops, inspired Doctor Mayo to establish the most impressive medical center on the planet, and presided over the development of an order of sisters who went on to build and staff numerous institutions of healing and teaching. She was a woman of extraordinary intelligence, drive, passion, courage, and inventiveness. If someone had suggested to her that she was living a life unworthy of her gifts or beneath her dignity, I imagine she would have a few choice words in response. You’re looking for a feminist hero? You can keep Gloria Steinem; I’ll take Mother Alfred any day of the week. So, if you know a young woman who would make a good religious, who is marked by smarts, energy, creativity, and get-up-and-go, share with her the story of Mother Alfred Moes. And tell her that she might aspire to that same kind of heroism.
By: Bishop Robert Barron
MoreIn the early 1900s, Pope Leo XIII requested the congregation of Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart to go to the United States to minister to the significant number of Italian immigrants there. The congregation’s founder, Mother Cabrini, desired to do a mission in China, but obediently heeded the Church’s call and embarked on a long journey across the sea. As she had nearly drowned as a child, she formed a great fear of water. Still, in obedience, she...across the sea. On arrival, she and her sisters found that their financial aid had not been sanctioned, and they had no place to live. These faithful daughters of the Sacred Heart persevered and began serving the people on the margins. In a few years, her mission among the immigrants flourished so fruitfully that till her passing, this aquaphobic nun made 23 transatlantic trips around the world, founding educational and healthcare facilities in France, Spain, Great Britain, and South America. Her obedience and attentiveness to the Church’s missionary call was eternally rewarded. Today, the Church venerates her as the patron saint of immigrants and hospital administrators.
By: Shalom Tidings
MoreRani Maria Vattalil was born on 29 January 1954 to Eleeswa and Paily Vattalil in a small village called Pulluvazhy, in Kerala, India. From a young age, she was brought up in the Christian faith, having love for the poor. She attended daily Mass and led family prayers. During the final year of high school, Rani felt the Lord calling her to consecrated life and entered the Franciscan Clarist Congregation in 1972. It was Rani Maria’s ardent desire to do missionary work in North India and serve the poor, even if it cost her life. She was sent to Madhya Pradesh (a central Indian state) and served several mission areas there. Sister Rani Maria was given the responsibility of coordinating the social apostolate of the local diocese. She organized various educational programs for children and young people and worked relentlessly to empower the indigenous people. She understood how the poor, illiterate farmers were exploited and taken advantage of by their landlords. So, she educated them on their rights, helped them fight for justice, and spoke for those who were unjustly imprisoned. All this infuriated the upperclass landlords, who threatened her with dire consequences if she continued supporting the cause of the poor. But Rani Maria feared nothing and did not back down from her mission to 'love her neighbor.' A devious plan was then hatched by those who hated her. On 25th February 1995, while traveling by bus, she was mercilessly stabbed 54 times by Samundhar Singh—a man hired by the landlords. She breathed her last, repeating the Holy name of Jesus. Rani Maria worked her entire life to fight for the dignity and rights of her fellow men and bore witness to the Gospel through her social activities. Sister Rani Maria’s family, following the valiant example of their daughter, forgave her murderer wholeheartedly, even inviting him to their home! This act of mercy touched him deeply; he repented of his heinous crime and became a changed man. Sister Rani Maria was beatified by Pope Francis on 4th November 2017.
By: Shalom Tidings
MoreWherever you are and whatever you do, you are irrevocably called to this great mission in life. In the mid-eighties, Australian director Peter Weir made his first American film, a successful thriller, Witness, which starred Harrison Ford. The movie is about a young boy who sees the murder of an undercover police officer by corrupt co-workers, and he’s hidden away in an Amish community for protection. As the story unfolds, he recalls what happened by putting the pieces together and then, he tells the Ford character named John Book (note the Gospel symbolism). The movie contains the marks of a witness: one sees, recalls, and tells. Circling Back Jesus showed Himself to His innermost circle so that the truth of His Resurrection would reach everyone through them. He opened the minds of His disciples to the mystery of His Death and Resurrection saying: “You are witness to these things” (Luke 24:48). Having seen Him with their own eyes, the Apostles could not remain silent about this incredible experience. What’s true for the Apostles is also true for us because we are members of the Church, the mystical Body of Christ. Jesus commissioned his disciples to “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 28:19) As missionary disciples, we testify that Jesus is alive. The only way we can enthusiastically and steadfastly embrace this Mission is to see through the eyes of faith that Jesus is Risen, that He is alive, and present within and among us. That’s what a witness does. Circling back, how does one ‘see’ the Risen Christ? Jesus instructed us: “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12:23-24) Put simply, if we really want to ‘see’ Jesus, if we want to know Him deeply and personally, and if we want to understand Him, we have to look to the grain of wheat that dies in the soil: in other words, we have to look to the Cross. The Sign of the Cross marks a radical shift from self-reference (Ego-drama) to being Christ-centered (Theo-drama). In itself, the Cross can only express love, service, and unreserved self-giving. It is only through sacrificial giving of the self for the praise and glory of God and the good of others that we can see Christ and enter Trinitarian Love. Only in this way can we be grafted onto the ‘Tree of Life’ and truly ‘see’ Jesus. Jesus is Life itself. And we are hard-wired to seek Life because we are made in God’s image. That’s why we’re drawn to Jesus—to ‘see’ Jesus, meet Him, know Him, and fall in love with Him. That’s the only way we can be effective witnesses to the Risen Christ. The Hidden Seed We too must respond with the witness of a life that is given in service, a life that is patterned after the Way of Jesus, which is a life of sacrificial self-giving for the good of others, recalling that the Lord came to us as servants. Practically speaking, how can we live such a radical life? Jesus told His disciples: “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be My witnesses.” (Acts 1:8) The Holy Spirit, just as He did at the first Pentecost, frees our hearts chained by fear. He overcomes our resistance to do our Father’s will, and He empowers us to give witness that Jesus is Risen, He is alive and He is present now and forever! How does the Holy Spirit do this? By renewing our hearts, pardoning our sins, and infusing us with the seven gifts that enable us to follow the Way of Jesus. It is only through the Cross of the hidden seed, ready to die, that we can truly ‘see’ Jesus and therefore give witness to Him. It is only through this intertwining of death and life that we can experience the joy and fruitfulness of a love that flows from the heart of the Risen Christ. It is only through the power of the Spirit that we reach the fullness of the Life He gifted us with. So, as we celebrate Pentecost, let us resolve by the gift of Faith to be witnesses of the Risen Lord and bring the Paschal gifts of joy and peace to the people we encounter. Alleluia!
By: Deacon Jim McFadden
MoreTom Holland’s magnificent book Dominion develops in detail what amounts to a very simple proposition—namely, that Christianity is responsible for many of the central values that we take for granted and that we assume to be universal. In point of fact, he avers, our insistence upon the dignity of the individual, fundamental human rights, the principle of equality, and perhaps above all that the poor, the marginalized, and the victimized ought to be specially cherished, flows from basic Christian convictions. What prompted Holland to investigate this claim initially was his extensive work in the history of ancient Rome. The longer and more deeply he looked at Roman society, the stranger it seemed, the less like our own time. And the more he studied the great heroes of Rome, the more alien and morally problematic they appeared. To give just one example among many, he urges us to consider perhaps the most impressive of ancient Roman personalities, Julius Caesar. Eager to enhance his political reputation, Caesar embarked on a military campaign in Gaul (present-day France). His remarkable success in subduing this land and making it a Roman province served to cover him in glory and became the subject of his book The Gallic Wars, which is read to this day. But what is rarely remarked upon is the staggering fact that in the course of this conquest, Caesar killed, by conservative estimate, one million people and enslaved another million or so more. Now, Caesar had a boatload of enemies in Rome who suspected him of lusting after kingly power. But what Holland finds fascinating is that none of his opponents were scandalized by his murderous rampage through Gaul. In fact, all of Rome praised him for it. So the question arises: Why would we today consider someone who killed and enslaved on such a massive scale a scoundrel while even the best and brightest in ancient Roman society considered Caesar a hero? The answer, in a word, is Christianity. What the early Christians brought to Roman culture was the belief in the one God who made every human being in His image and likeness and who thereby endowed them with rights, freedom, and dignity. Moreover, the Christians taught, the Creator God became human and went willingly to the very limits of suffering and degradation, in Saint Paul’s words, “accepting even death, death on a cross.” They proclaimed a Savior who was a victim of Roman tyranny and whom God raised from the dead. And by this proclamation, they brought all the tyrannized, all of the victimized, all of the weak and forgotten from the margins to the center. These beliefs were, of course, initially regarded as absurd, and the early Christians were brutally persecuted for them. But over time, and through the witness and practice of courageous people, these beliefs soaked into the fabric of Western society. So deeply did they penetrate our consciousness that we came, as Holland has argued, to take them for granted and to mistake them for general humanistic values. Now, why is all this important to us today? We live in a time when the Christian faith is rather regularly denigrated by those in the upper echelons of elite society, in the universities, and in the media. Moreover, armies of people, especially the young, are disaffiliating from the churches and ceasing to engage in religious ritual and practice. Harmless enough, you might think, or even to the advantage of a society reaching maturity through secularization? Think again. As Christian faith and praxis evanesce, the values that Christianity has inculcated in our culture evanesce as well. Cut flowers may bloom for a time once they’ve been ripped from the soil and placed in water, but they will fade soon enough. We delude ourselves if we think that the values instilled in us by Christianity will long survive the demise of Christianity itself. Signs of the emergence of a neo-paganism in fact abound. In many states in our country, as well as in Canada and many European countries, a regime of euthanasia holds sway. When elderly or sick people become inconvenient, they can and should be eliminated. And, of course, in most countries in the West, when a child in the womb is judged to be a problem, he or she can be aborted at any point in pregnancy, up to the moment of birth. In my home state of Minnesota, a proposal has been made to enshrine this ‘right’ to the murder of the unborn in the constitution. How like this is, by the way, to the ancient Roman practice of exposing unwanted newborns to the elements and the animals. And how fascinating, in light of Tom Holland’s analysis, that the early Christians got the attention of the environing Roman culture precisely by their willingness to rescue and take in these abandoned babies. So, what is the needful thing? Christians must raise their voices in protest against the culture of death. And they must do so by claiming and publicly proclaiming the values that come from their faith. For too long, believers have been cowed into silence by the insinuation that religion is a ‘private’ matter. Nonsense. Christian values have informed our society from the beginning and have provided the coherent moral framework that most of us still take for granted. Now is not the time for quietude. It is time for us to shout our convictions from the rooftops.
By: Bishop Robert Barron
MoreQ – Later this year, my brother is getting civilly married to another man. I am very close with my brother, but I know that marriage is between a man and a woman. Would I be allowed to attend his wedding? A—This question is becoming increasingly pressing, as so many of our family and friends live lifestyles that contradict God's revealed plan for our fulfillment. Such a quandary can cause great angst since we want to love our family and support them, even if we disagree with their choices. At the same time, we cannot betray what we know to be true, as we believe that God’s plan leads to authentic happiness. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (Paragraph 1868) deals with this when it speaks about ways in which we can cooperate in someone else’s sinful choice. We participate in someone else’s sin when we ‘praise or approve’ of the sinful action. In the case of someone making a lifestyle choice that goes against our Catholic Faith, it would be morally wrong for us to in any way congratulate or celebrate this choice, which ultimately harms their relationship with God and puts their salvation in jeopardy. So what would be the best course of action? I would recommend an honest conversation with your brother. Share your deep love for him, and how you desire this relationship to continue being close. At the same time, share with him how your faith and conscience teach you that you cannot approve of things that you know to be wrong. Do not attend the wedding, send a gift, or congratulate him, but be sure to let him know that you are still there for him. Emphasize that it is not out of ‘hate’ or ‘bigotry’ that you cannot attend the wedding, but out of a firm and unchanging belief that God created marriage as something sacred between a man and a woman. This may or may not cause strife and conflict in your family. But we must never forget that Jesus promised: “Not to bring peace, but the sword”. He said that we must follow Him above any other relationship, including that of family and friends. This is certainly one of His difficult teachings, but we remember that truth and love are never in opposition, and to truly love your brother, you must love him according to the truth that Christ reveals. Never forget, too, the power of prayer and fasting. Pray and fast before your conversation with your brother so that his heart may be open to your goodwill, and pray and fast after the conversation so that he may experience a deep conversion to Christ, Who alone fulfills the human heart. Do not be afraid to choose Christ over your family, and continue to love your family— in and through Christ— regardless of your brother’s reaction. Do not be afraid, but continue to love in truth.
By: Father Joseph Gill
MoreIn the year 1240, Emperor Frederick II of Sweden was at war with the Pope, and he sent his warriors to attack Italy. The cruel soldiers decided to break into the cloistered convent of San Damiano, which was located on the border of the town of Assisi. This was where Mother Clare and the nuns under her care resided. The poor nuns were terrified and immediately rushed to their Mother to share the news. Mother Clare was bedridden, but with the help of the sisters, she got up and calmly went to the chapel. Prostrating herself in front of the Eucharist, she tearfully implored God to protect the helpless sisters. Suddenly, she heard a voice from the tabernacle: “I will always protect you!” Filled with confidence and trust, she took the ciborium containing the Blessed Sacrament and went to face the invaders. As she raised it in front of them, the soldiers were thrown into confusion and utter fear. They instantly fled the convent, abandoning their evil schemes. To the nuns, their mother’s unwavering devotion to the Holy Eucharist was a great lesson. Saint Clare, in her great humility, instructed the sisters not to reveal the voice they heard from the Blessed Sacrament until after her death. Let us, inspired by Saint Clare, grow in our devotion to Jesus in the Eucharist and put our complete trust in Him.
By: Shalom Tidings
MoreWith every act, we are aiming an arrow. Do we end up saying “Uh oh! Can I have a do over?” every time? The conversation began the night before, as so many others do, innocently enough. It was on the short drive home that I recognized a sense of uneasiness. After reflecting on words I shared earlier with my friend, I wondered if what I was feeling was that familiar nudge from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I had once again strayed outside the boundary lines that Psalm 16: 6-7 describes? “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; I have a goodly heritage. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.” Pulling into the driveway, I quickly dismissed the thought...After all, this woman approached me with problems she was encountering with a couple of other women, and I was trying to be empathetic and understanding in my response. Fighting my Dilemma The next morning, however, it was clear that the Psalmist’s experience was now mine: the Lord indeed “counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.” Upon waking, something I’d learned some years ago about the power of our words immediately came to mind. Yes, everything I’d shared the night before was True. It was also Helpful, in the context of my relationship with this person. It was in the middle of the acronym, T.H.I.N.K. that it struck me. My response didn’t fit the definition of Inspiring! Sadly, it could hardly be considered Necessary either! Fortunately, my examination ended on a positive note, as my comments could be perceived as Kind, since I remembered listing the beautiful attributes I’d observed in each of these women while we were discussing my friend’s concerns. Just as most of us have a particular flavor of ice cream, or other favorite food we indulge in again and again, so too, we may have a particular sin that we find ourselves choosing to entertain over and over. (The story of a man confessing to the priest that he had been having impure thoughts comes to mind...The priest asks: “Did you entertain them?” The penitent replies: “No, but they sure entertained me!”) I recognized that I had given in to my particular ‘flavor’ of sin, which I frequently confessed, but found myself repeating nonetheless…But my Confession didn’t elicit a chuckle from me, as the man’s in the story might have! Pondering my dilemma, I wondered what questions might others in a similar position consider...What might that ‘favorite flavor of sin’ be for someone else? What might they, too, have confessed again and again to God, to a priest, or even to a friend they trust? Moments of Growing up The Greek translation of the word ‘sin’ in the Bible is the word ‘hamartano’, meaning a person shooting an arrow, but missing the bull’s eye. The one who missed the mark was said to have sinned. Despite my best intentions, I’d missed the mark! After talking it over with the Lord that morning, I texted my friend. Only after asking for her forgiveness, and then sharing an insight that came to me as I was typing, did the root of my ‘hamartano’ finally dawn on me. In my text, I wrote: “My enjoyment of using words and sharing stories and conversations with people overrode my desire to avoid using my tongue in ways that weren’t necessary or inspiring.” I ended the text inviting her to hold me accountable if I wandered outside those ‘boundary lines’ in the future. I soon received a text back: “No matter how long we’ve been walking with Jesus we continue to have our growth moments. You are forgiven! I agree our conversation went on longer than it should have, which put us in a dangerous territory. I’ll do my best to be more aware of those situations and also to hold you accountable, if needed, and ask that you do the same for me. Thank the Lord for His grace and mercy, and for showing us where we need to do better.” Appreciating both my friend’s gracious reply as well as her honesty, I was encouraged to ‘do better!’ I realized that since it’s clear there must be something in us that we are feeding by indulging in, or by entertaining our most common temptation, it’s imperative we get to the root of the resultant behavior. By asking the Holy Spirit to reveal this root to us, we receive insight as to why we miss the mark repeatedly in this area. What happened to us in our past that created a void we choose to fill through our particular flavor of sin? What need or desire are we feeding by this indulgence? Is there a wound festering from our brokenness that needs healing? What might be a healthier response we could consider that would not only avoid hurting others, but also, allow us to offer ourselves compassion and grace in our weakness? Knowing we are to ‘love our neighbor as ourselves,’ seeking to love others necessitates growing in loving ourselves, too, does it not? Sow, Cultivate & Prune Sometimes, we persist in the same behavior for years. Without someone having the courage to respond as my friend did, we continue in patterns that limit the Holy Spirit’s efforts to conform us more and more to the image of Christ. We may try to change, but unless we are motivated sufficiently, perhaps through asking another to be our accountability partner, we may give up and go back to our flavor of choice. Whether it’s rocky road ice cream, or my choice of unnecessary words, the Lord wants us to know how much more enjoyable our lives and the lives of others around us could be if we would allow His Spirit to lead us to other options. I knew I needed to find a way to replace this tendency that I so easily fell into. I asked my friend to help me to be accountable when she observed me beginning to go down that familiar path again. Since all our efforts to avoid sin are to lead to better emulating the character of Jesus, Galatians 5:22-23 came to mind. I could choose to satisfy my hunger with one of the fruits of the Spirit, rather than my particular flavor of sin. Bearing the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are evidence of the Holy Spirit’s partnering with us in our efforts to be more like Christ. Practice may not make perfect, but it does make progress! By directing my intention toward practicing one of these qualities, I knew I would eventually see the fruit of righteousness. Each fruit begins with a seed being sown, then fertilized, cultivated, and pruned, until, eventually we see the right behavior. In the meantime, I will begin by fertilizing my mind with reminders like the proverb: "Words are like arrows; once shot they cannot be called back." Now that I know the root of my behavior, and have invited my friend to hold me accountable, I am making the choice to focus on exercising self-control, ending conversations with others when I sense they are ‘putting us in dangerous territory,’ as my friend so succinctly pointed out. Having seen and tasted that the Lord is good, I know that only He can truly satisfy the desires of my heart. Psalm 16:8 continues: “I keep the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.” I lift my arrow once again to aim for the target. With His grace, in time, my arrowhead will come closer to the mark. Committed to being His disciple, I will follow Jesus, who is The Way…Home. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long. (Psalm 23:6)
By: Karen Eberts
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