Engage

Loneliness is the new normal worldwide, but not for this family! Read on for this incredible tip on staying connected always.

I recently became an empty nester. All five of my children live hours apart from one another, which makes family gatherings few and far between. This is one of the bittersweet consequences of successfully launching your children; they can fly pretty far sometimes.

Last Christmas, our whole family had the happy occasion of visiting with each other. At the end of those three joyful days, when it was time for goodbyes, I overheard one sibling say to another: “I’ll see you in the Eucharist.”

This is the way. This is how we stay close to one another. We cling to the Eucharist. And Jesus binds us together.

We certainly miss one another and wish we had more time together. But God has called us to work in different pastures and to be content with the time we’ve been given. So, in between visits and phone calls, we go to Mass and continue to stay connected.

Feeling Alone?

Attending the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass allows us to enter into a reality that’s not bound by space and time. It’s the stepping out of this world and into a sacred space where Heaven touches Earth in a real way, and we are united with the entire family of God, those worshiping both here on Earth and in Heaven.

By partaking in Holy Communion, we find that we indeed are not alone. One of Jesus’ last words to His disciples was: “I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) The Eucharist is the immense gift of His continual Presence with us.

Naturally, we miss loved ones who are no longer with us; sometimes, the ache can be quite fierce. It is in those moments that we must cling to the Eucharist. On particularly lonesome days, I make an extra effort to get to Mass a little early and linger a little longer afterward. I intercede for each of my loved ones and receive comfort knowing I am not alone and that I am close to Jesus’ Heart. I pray that each of my loved one’s hearts are also close to Jesus’ Heart, so we can also be together. Jesus promised: “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to Myself.” (John 12:32)

Incredibly Close

One of my favorite lines during the Eucharistic Prayer is this: “Humbly we pray that partaking of the body and blood of Christ, we may be gathered into one by the Holy Spirit.”

God gathers what once was scattered and draws us into the one body of Christ. The Holy Spirit at Mass has been tasked in a particular way with uniting us. We absolutely need God’s help to be in true communion with others.

Have you ever been in the same room with someone, but yet it felt like you were a million miles away? The opposite of that can also be true. Even if we are miles apart, we can feel incredibly close to others.

Ultimate Reality

Last year, I felt particularly close to my grandmother at her funeral Mass. It was very comforting, for I felt like she was right there with us, especially during the Eucharistic prayer and Holy Communion. My grandmother had a strong devotion to the Eucharist and strove to attend daily Mass for as long as she physically could. I was so grateful for that time of intimacy with her and will always treasure that. This reminds me of another portion of the Eucharistic prayer:

“Remember also our brothers and sisters who have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection and all who have died in Your mercy: welcome them into the light of Your face. Have mercy on us all, we pray, that with the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, with Blessed Joseph, Her Spouse, with the Blessed Apostles, and all the Saints who have pleased You throughout the ages, we may merit to be co-heirs to eternal life, and may praise and glorify You through Your Son, Jesus Christ.”

While at Mass or Eucharistic Adoration, we are in the Real Presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are also joined by the Saints and Angels in Heaven. One day we will see this reality for ourselves. For now, we believe with the eyes of faith.

Let us take courage whenever we feel lonely or are missing a loved one. Jesus’ Loving and Merciful Heart is constantly beating for us and yearning for us to spend time with Him in the Eucharist. This is where we find our peace. This is where our hearts are fed. Like Saint John, let us rest peacefully on the loving breast of Jesus and pray that many others will find their way to His Sacred Eucharistic Heart. Then, we will be truly together.

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A blaring home siren was ripping through the stillness of the night. I woke up with a start. My first instinct was one of frustration, but as the moments passed and the siren continued wailing across the neighborhood, I realized there was something amiss.

More from curiosity than bravado, I went outside to get a better look. Seeing my neighbor John working under the hood of his car, I called out and asked about the siren, but he seemed not to hear it at all. He simply shrugged: “Those things go off all the time…it’ll turn itself off in a few minutes.”

I was confused. “But what if someone is breaking into the house?” 

“Well, if they have their alarm serviced by the alarm company, someone will come around in a little bit to check on it. But it’s probably just nothing. Like I said, they go off all the time for the craziest reasons. Lightning storms, a car backfire…who knows why?” 

I went back into my house and looked at the alarm panel on the wall near our front door. 

What good is an alarm if no one pays any attention? 

How often is the Gospel message heard across our neighborhoods and our cities like a voice crying in the wilderness, an alarm warning of impending danger echoing through the night? “Turn back to God,” it exhorts. “Repent. Ask for His forgiveness.”

Yet many of us just shrug our shoulders, turn away, and continue fiddling under the hoods of our cars, content with our lifestyle, relationships, and comfort zones. 

“Hey, don’t you hear it?” Every now and then someone interrupts. The response would probably be: “Been hearing it ever since I was a kid. But don’t worry, it’ll turn itself off in a few minutes.” 

“Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while He is near.” (Isaiah 55:6)

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Often, it’s easy to find fault with others but much more difficult to trace the real culprit.

I discovered a parking ticket stuck on my car’s windshield wiper. It was an infringement notice for a $287 fine due to the blocking of a driveway. I became upset, and my mind filled with self-justifying thoughts.

I kept thinking: “It was just a few inches! Wasn’t the garage closed? It didn’t look like it was being used. Someone else was parked in front of my car, blocking most of the driveway. There was no available parking space, so I had to park half a kilometer away from my intended destination.”

Before the Fall

But wait a minute! Why was I making so many excuses? It’s clear that I had violated the parking rules, and now, I had to face the consequences. However, it’s always been my first instinct to try to defend myself whenever I make a mistake. This habit runs deep within me. I wonder where it originated.

Well, it goes back to the Garden of Eden. Yet another excuse? Perhaps, but I tend to believe that the first sin was not disobedience or a lack of trust in God but that of evading accountability.

Why? When Adam and Eve fell into the snake’s trap, they had never experienced evil or tasted the fruit of knowledge. They only knew God, so how could they recognize that the snake was evil and lying? What even is a lie? Can we expect them to distrust the snake? Weren’t they like a six-month-old baby trying to play with a cobra?

However, things changed after they ate the forbidden fruit. Their eyes were opened, and they realized they had sinned. Yet when God asked them about it, Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the snake. No wonder we tend to do the same!

A Precious Opportunity Awaits

Christianity, in a way, is simple. It’s about being accountable for our sins. God only asks us to take responsibility for our wrongdoings. 

When we inevitably fall, the most appropriate action for a Christian is to take full responsibility for the mistake, turn to Jesus, and offer an unconditional apology. Needless to say, taking responsibility also comes with a personal commitment to try our best not to repeat the mistake. Jesus takes on the accountability Himself and resolves it with the Father through the immeasurable value of His Precious Blood.

Imagine that someone from your family made a mistake that resulted in a huge financial loss. If you knew that your bank was willing to reimburse the loss upon receiving a statement, would you waste your time blaming each other for the mistake?

Are we truly aware of the precious opportunity we have in Christ? 

Let us not fall into the trap of Satan, who is inclined to blame. Instead, let us make a conscious effort not to point fingers at others but rather run toward Jesus when we stumble.

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Q – I am afraid of death. Although I believe in Jesus and hope in Heaven, I am still filled with anxiety at the unknown. How can I overcome this fear of death?

A – Imagine that you were born into a dungeon and unable to see the world outside. A door separates you from the world outside—the sunlight, the fresh air, the merriment…but you have no concept of these brighter, beautiful things, for your world is only this dark, musty space filled with decay. Every now and then, a person leaves through the door, to never return. You miss them, for they were your friends and you had known them your whole life! 

Now, imagine for a moment that someone from the outside comes in. He tells you of all the good things that you can experience outside of this dungeon. He knows of these things, for He has been there Himself. And because He loves you, you can trust Him. He promises you that He will walk through the door with you. Would you take His hand? Would you stand up and walk with Him through the door? It would be frightening, for you do not know what is on the outside, but you can have the courage that He does. If you know Him and love Him, then you will take His hand and walk through the door into the sunlight, into the grand world outside. It is frightening, but there is trust and hope.

Every human culture has had to wrestle with the fear of the unknown when we walk through that dark door of death. On our own, we have no idea what lies beyond the veil, but we do know Someone who has come from the other side to tell us about what eternity is like.

And what has He revealed? He has said that those who are saved “are before the throne of God,
and serve Him day and night in His temple, and He who sits on the throne will shelter them with His presence. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them,
nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” (Revelation 7:15-17) We are confident that eternal life is perfect love, abundant life, perfect joy. In fact, it is so good that “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, nor has the mind of man ever conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

But do we have any certainty that we will be saved? Isn’t there a chance that we won’t make it to that Heavenly paradise? Yes, it is true that it isn’t guaranteed. Yet, we are filled with hope because “God desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of truth.” (1 Timothy 2:3-4)  He desires your salvation more than you desire it yourself! So, He will do everything in His power to bring us to Heaven. He has already extended the invitation to you, written and signed in the Blood of His Son. It is our faith, lived out in our lives, which accepts such an invitation.

It is true we do not have certainty, but we do have hope, and “hope does not disappoint” (Romans 5:5). We are called to walk in humility and trust, knowing the power of the Savior, Who “came to save sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15).

Practically speaking, we can overcome the fear of death in a few ways. 

– First, focus on God’s promises of Heaven. He has said many other things in the Scriptures that fill us with an excited expectation of receiving the beautiful eternity He has prepared. We should burn with a desire for Heaven, which will lessen the fear of leaving this fallen, broken world behind. 

– Second, focus on God’s goodness and His love for you. He will never abandon you, even when passing into the unknown. 

– Finally, consider the ways that He has been present to you when you have had to enter into new and unknown lands–going off to college, getting married, buying a house. It can be frightening to do something for the first time because there is a fear of the unknown. But if God has been present in these new experiences, even more so will He take your hand as you walk through the door of death into the life that you have long desired!

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My husband was given a death sentence; I did not want to live on without him, but his firm convictions surprised me.

Five years ago, my world came crashing down when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The life and the future I envisioned were forever changed in an instant. It was terrifying and confusing; the most hopeless and helpless I’ve ever felt. It was as though I had been plunged into an abyss of constant fear and despair. I had only my faith to cling onto as I faced the darkest days I’ve ever known. Days of caring for my dying husband and days of preparing to face a life completely different than what I had planned.

Chris and I had been together since we were teenagers. We were best friends and nearly inseparable. We had been married for over twenty years and were happily raising our four children in what seemed like an idyllic life. Now he was given a death sentence, and I didn’t know how I could live without him. In truth, part of me didn’t want to. One day, in a moment of brokenness, I confided in him that I thought I might die of a broken heart if I had to live without him. His reaction was not as desperate. He sternly but empathetically told me that I had to keep living until God called me home; that I couldn’t wish or waste my life away because his was coming to an end. He confidently assured me that he would be watching over me and our children from the other side of the veil.

The Other Side of Grief

Chris had an unshakeable faith in God’s love and mercy. Convinced that we wouldn’t be separated forever, he would often recite the phrase: “It’s just for a little while.” This was our constant reminder that no heartache lasts forever—and these words gave me boundless hope. Hope that God will guide us through this, and hope that I will be reunited with Chris in the next life. During these dark days, we clung to Our Lady in the Rosary—a devotion we were already familiar with. The Sorrowful Mysteries were recited more often than not because contemplating the suffering and death of Our Lord brought us closer to Him in our own suffering. The Divine Mercy Chaplet was a new devotion that we added to our daily routine. Like the Rosary, this was a humbling reminder of what Jesus willingly endured for our salvation, and somehow it made the cross we had been given seem less heavy.

We began to more clearly see the beauty in suffering and sacrifice. I would mentally repeat the small prayer: “Oh, Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in You” every hour of the day. It would bring a wave of calm over me whenever I felt a rush of uncertainty or fear. During this time, our prayer life deepened tremendously and gave us hope that Our Lord would be merciful to Chris and our family as we endured this painful journey. Today, it gives me hope that Chris is at peace, watching over and interceding for us from the other side—just as he promised.

In these uncertain days of my new life, it’s hope that keeps me going and gives me strength. It has given me immeasurable gratitude for God’s endless love and tender mercy. Hope is a tremendous gift; an inextinguishable interior glow to focus on when we feel broken. Hope calms, hope strengthens, and hope heals. Hope takes courage to hold onto.

As Saint John Paul II said: “I plead with you! Never, ever give up on hope. Never doubt, never tire and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.”

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If you feel you’ve lost all value and purpose in life, this is for you.

In my 40 years of being a priest, the funerals for people who committed suicide have been the toughest of all. And this is not just a general statement, for I recently also lost, in my own family, a young man just 18 years of age to suicide, because of unfortunate events in his life. 

With suicide rates increasing these days, the measures put in place include medication, psychological remedies, and even family systems therapy. However, out of the many things that are often talked about, one that is not spoken enough about is a spiritual remedy. One of the core psychological and philosophical issues behind depression, even suicide, might be a lack of a spiritual meaning and purpose for life—the belief that our lives have hope and value. 

A Father’s Love

The love of God our Father, the anchor for our life, moves us out of those dark places of loneliness. I’d even argue that of all the gifts that Jesus Christ gave us (and gosh, there are so many), the best and most valuable is that Jesus made His Father, our Father. 

Jesus revealed God as a loving parent who deeply loves and cares for His children. This knowledge affirms us in three special ways:

1. Knowledge of who You are 

You’re not your job, your social security number, your driver’s license number, or ‘just’ a rejected lover. You are a child of God—made in the image and likeness of God. You are truly His handiwork. That is our identity, it’s who we are in God. 

2. God gives us Purpose 

In God, we realize why we’re here—there’s a plan, purpose, and structure to the life that God has given us. God made us for a purpose in this world—to know, love, and serve Him. 

3. You have a Destiny

We are destined not to be in this world but to be with our Father forever and receive His inexhaustible love. Knowing the Father as the author of love invites us to receive, respect, and give the life that God wants us to have. It inspires us to grow in the sense of who we are—our goodness, uniqueness, and beauty.

The Father’s Love is an anchoring love: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

God’s love does not consider the fact that we’re perfect every single day or that we never get depressed or discouraged. The fact that God has loved us and sent His Son as an offering for our sins is an encouragement that can help us counter the darkness of depression. At His core, God is not a condemning judge but a loving parent. This knowledge—that God has loved us and cherishes us no matter what anyone around us does—anchors us. 

This is indeed the greatest human need we have. We’re all a little lonely; we’re all searching and seeking something that this world cannot give. Sit still in the loving gaze of our God every day and just allow God to love you. Imagine that God is embracing you, nurturing you, and pushing out your fear, anxiety, and worry. Let the love of God the Father flow through every cell, muscle, and tissue. Let it drive out the darkness and fear in your life. 

The world is never going to be a perfect place, so we need to invite God in to fill us with His hope. If you’re struggling today, reach out to a friend and let your friend be the hands and eyes of God, embracing and loving you. There have been several times in my 72 years where I have reached out to friends who held me, nurtured me, and taught me. 

Sit contentedly in God’s presence as a child on his mother’s lap until your body learns the truth that you are a precious, beautiful child of God, that your life has value, purpose, meaning, and direction. Let God flow through your life.

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Whatever the situation you are going through, God will make a way where there seems to be no way…

Today, my son Aaric brought home his dictation book. He got a red star with a ‘good’ remark. This might not be a big deal for a kindergartener, but for us, it is a celebrated achievement.

The first week of school, I got a call from his class teacher. We dreaded this call, my husband and I. As I tried hard to explain his communication skills (or lack thereof) to his teacher, I remember confessing that while I cared for his big sister with special needs, I had fallen into this pattern of doing things without being asked. As she could not utter a single word, I had to guess her needs. The same mode was turned on for Aaric, too, in his early days.

Even before he asked for water, I would give it to him. We had a bond that didn’t need words, a language of love, or so I thought. How miserably wrong I was!

Not much later, when his little brother Abram turned three months old, I had to take those heavy steps again to see the counselor at school. This time, it was about Aaric’s poor writing skills. His dear class teacher panicked when she saw him drop his pencil on the table and stubbornly fold his hands as if to say: “I won’t write.” We dreaded this, too. His little sister Aksha was an expert at scribbling at the age of two, but Aaric wouldn’t even hold the pencil. He just didn’t fancy it.

The First Step

After receiving instructions from the counselor, I visited the principal, who insisted that we undergo a thorough assessment if his communication continues to be weak. I couldn’t even think of that back then. For us, he was a miracle baby. After what we went through with our firstborn and three miscarriages, Aaric had defied all odds. He was born full-term, unlike what the doctors had predicted. His vitals were normal at birth. “He’s a big baby!” exclaimed the doctor on bringing him out through a C-section. We watched him grow step by step with almost bated breath, praying nothing would go wrong.

Aaric soon reached all his milestones. However, when he was just one year old, my father mentioned that he may need speech therapy. I brushed it off as being too early to diagnose. The truth was, I didn’t have the strength to face another problem. We were already worn out with all that our firstborn was going through. Anna was born preterm at 27 weeks. After many grueling days in the NICU, she was diagnosed with severe brain damage at three months and had epileptic seizures. After all the treatments and medications, our now 9-year-old daughter still battles with cerebral palsy and intellectual disability. She is unable to sit up, walk, or talk.

Countless Blessings

There’s a limit to holding off the inevitable, so six months ago, we reluctantly took Aaric to get an initial assessment. The ADHD diagnosis was hard. We struggled to accept it, but we still put him through speech therapy. At this point, he was only stuttering a few words.

A few days back, I mustered the courage to go to the hospital with Aaric and get a full, thorough assessment. Mild autism was what they said. As we were going through the process of assessment, several questions were asked. To my surprise, my response to most of these questions was: “He wasn’t able to, but now he can.”

Praise God! By the power of the Holy Spirit living in him, everything is possible. I believe that praying and blessing him every day before going to school has made a difference. The change was radical when he began to memorize Bible verses. And the beauty is that he recites those verses just when I need them. Indeed, the Word of God is living and active. I believe the transformation is ongoing. Whenever I feel low, God surprises me by making him say a new word.

Amid the tantrums he puts up, and when everything seems to crumble down, my little girl, three-year-old Aksha, simply comes up and gives me a hug and a kiss. She really knows how to comfort her mama. I believe that God will surely intervene and heal our eldest daughter, Anna, too, for nothing is impossible for Him. Change is already visible—the number of times she goes into epileptic seizures has gone down tremendously.

In our walk of life, things may not be going as expected, but God never leaves nor forsakes us. Just like oxygen that is essential yet invisible, God is ever present and provides the life we need so badly. Let us cling to Him and not doubt whilst in the darkness. May our testimony reveal the truth of how beautiful, wonderful, and loving our God is and how He transforms us to say: “I was …, but now I am ….”

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If I hadn’t gone through that darkness, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

My parents really wanted to have a family, but my mom wasn’t able to get pregnant until she was 40. I was their miracle baby, born on her birthday, exactly one year after she completed a special Novena in petition for a child. I was gifted with a baby brother one year later.

My family was nominally Catholic; we would go to Sunday Mass and receive the Sacraments, but there was nothing more. When I was about 11 or 12, my parents turned away from the Church and my faith life took an incredibly long pause.

Writhing Agony

Teenage years were packed with pressure, a lot of which I put on myself. I’d compare myself to other girls; I wasn’t happy with my appearance. I was highly self-conscious and anxious. Though I excelled academically, I had a difficult time in school because I was very ambitious. I wanted to get ahead—show people that I could be successful and intelligent. We didn’t have much money as a family, so I figured that studying well and getting a good job was going to solve it all.

Instead, I got sadder and sadder. I would go for sports and celebrations, but I would wake up the next day and feel all empty. I had a few good friends, but they too had their own struggles. I remember trying to support them and ending up questioning the why of all the suffering around me. I was lost, and this sadness made me close-up and curl into myself.

When I was about 15, I fell into the habit of self-harm; as I later realized, at that age, I didn’t have the maturity or the ability to speak about what I was feeling. As pressure intensified, I gave in to suicidal thoughts, multiple times. During one hospitalization incident, one of the doctors saw me in such agony and said: “Do you believe in God? Do you believe in something after death?” I thought it was the strangest question to ask, but that night, I remembered reflecting on it. That’s when I cried out to God for help: “God, if you exist, please help me. I want to live—I’d like to spend my life doing good, but I’m not even capable of loving myself. Whatever I do, everything ends in burnout if I don’t have a meaning for all of it.”

A Hand of Help

I started to talk to Mother Mary, hoping that maybe she could understand and help me. Shortly after, my mother’s friend invited me to go on a pilgrimage to Međugorje. I didn’t really want to, but I accepted the invitation, more for curiosity to see a new country and nice weather.

Surrounded by people who were praying the Rosary, fasting, walking up mountains, and going to Mass, I felt out of place but at the same time, I was also slightly intrigued. It was the time of the Catholic Youth Festival, and there were around 60,000 young people there, attending Mass and Adoration, praying the Rosary every day; not because they were forced to, but joyfully, from pure desire. I wondered if these people had perfect families which made it really easy for them to believe, clap, dance, and all of that. Truth be told, I craved that joy!

While we were on the pilgrimage, we listened to the testimonies of girls and boys in a Cenacolo Community nearby, and that really changed things for me. In 1983, an Italian nun founded the Cenacolo Community to help young people whose lives had taken a wrong turn. Now, the organization can be found in many countries worldwide.

I listened to the story of a girl from Scotland who had drug problems; she had also attempted to take her own life. I thought to myself: “If she can live that happily, if she can come out of all that pain and suffering and genuinely believe in God, maybe there’s something in that for me as well.”

Another great grace that I received when I was in Međugorje was that I went for confession for the first time in many years. I did not know what to expect but going to confession and finally saying out loud to God all of the things that had hurt me, all that I had done to hurt others and myself, was an enormous weight off my shoulders. I just felt peace, and I felt clean enough to make a fresh start. I came back touched and started University in Ireland, but sans adequate support, I ended up in the hospital again.

Finding Way

Realizing that I needed help, I went back to Italy and became a part of a Cenacolo Community. It wasn’t easy. Everything was new—the language, prayer, different personalities, cultures—but there was a truth in it. Nobody was trying to convince me of anything; everyone was living their life in prayer, work, and true friendship, and it was healing them. They were living peace and joy, and it wasn’t made up but real. I was with them all day, every day—I saw it. I wanted that!

What really helped me those days was Adoration. I don’t know how many times I just cried in front of the Blessed Sacrament. A therapist wasn’t speaking back to me, no one was trying to give me any medication, it just felt like I was being cleansed. Even in the community, there was nothing particularly special, except for God.

Another thing that really helped me get out of my depression was that I started looking to serve others. As long as I kept looking at my own self, my own wounds and problems, I was just digging myself into a bigger hole. The community life forced me to come out of myself, look to others, and try to give them hope, the hope that I was finding in Christ. It helped me so much when other young people would come to the community, young girls who had problems similar to mine or sometimes even worse. I looked after them, tried to be an older sister, and sometimes even a mother.

I started to think about what my mother would have experienced with me when I was hurting myself or when I was unhappy. There’s often a certain sense of helplessness, but with faith, even when you can’t help someone with your words, you can do so on your knees. I’ve seen the change in so many girls and in my own life from prayer. It’s not something mystical or something I could explain theologically, but faithfulness to the Rosary, Prayer, and Sacraments has changed my life and so many other lives, and it has given us a new will to live.

Passing it on

I returned to Ireland to pursue a career in nursing; in fact, more than a career, I felt deeply that it’s how I wanted to spend my life. I’m now living with young people, some of whom are like me when I was their age—struggling with self-harm, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or impurity. I feel that it’s important to tell them what God did in my life, so sometimes during lunch, I tell them that I wouldn’t really be able to do this job, see all the suffering and pain if I didn’t believe that there was something more to life than just death after illness. People often tell me: “Oh, your name is Joy, it suits you so much; you’re so happy and smiley.” I laugh inside: “If you only knew where that came from!”

My joy is one that arose from suffering; that’s why it’s a true joy. It lasts even when there’s pain. And I want the young people to have the same joy because it’s not just mine, but it’s a joy that comes from God, so everyone can also experience it. I just want to be able to share this infinite joy of God so that others can know that you can go through pain, misery, and difficulties and still come out of it, grateful and joyful to our Father.

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Q – How do I know if my love for sports is idolatry? I practice four hours a day, hoping to get a college scholarship, and I think about it all the time, following the professional teams closely. I love God, but He just doesn’t hold my interest like sports do. When does my passion cross the line into idolatry?

A – I, too, am passionate about sports. I played baseball in high school and college, and even as a priest, I continue to play Ultimate Frisbee, soccer, and American football. Sports can be “the field of virtue,” as Saint John Paul II once said. But in our modern world, we do often hold sports in very high esteem…perhaps too high.

My college baseball coach had a great saying: “Nothing in sports is eternal.” That helped me keep everything in perspective. Winning the championship or losing the game won’t make a bit of difference in eternity. It is meant to be fun, giving us a chance to exercise and practice teamwork, discipline, courage, and fairness—but there are no eternal consequences to an athletic contest.

So how do we keep sports in its proper perspective? We look at three things to know if sports (or anything else) has become an idol:

First, time. How much time do we spend on it versus how much time do we spend with the Lord? I once challenged a class of teens to spend ten minutes per day in prayer, and one boy told me that was impossible because he played video games. I asked him how much he played, and he told me that he often played eight to eleven hours per day! If a person doesn’t have time for a serious prayer life—fifteen to twenty minutes minimum, every day, because they are spending that time on sports, then it is indeed idolatry. This doesn’t mean that it has to be perfectly equal—if you practice for two hours per day, you don’t necessarily need to pray for two hours per day. But there does need to be enough time in your life to have a solid prayer life.

This includes making sure that our sports life does not conflict with Sunday worship. My brother, an excellent ballplayer, once had to miss an important tryout because it was being held on Easter Sunday morning. Whatever we do instead of Sunday Mass becomes our idol!

This also includes making time an integral part of our sacrifice for the Lord. Do you have the time to volunteer at your church or a local charity? Do you have enough time to perform your daily duties well (to do your studies to the best of your ability, to do household chores, and to be a good son/daughter and friend)? If sports take up so much time that there is no time to give back to others, then we are out-of-balance.

Second, money. How much money do we spend on sports games, equipment, trainers, gym memberships—versus how much money do we give to the church, charities, or the poor? Where we spend our money determines what our priorities are. Again, this isn’t necessarily a perfectly equal ratio—but generosity is a major part of belonging to the Lord, from Whom all good gifts come.

Finally, enthusiasm. In America, where I live, American football is our national religion. It amazes me to see grown men sit outside in sub-freezing temperatures at a Green Bay Packers game, with their shirts off and their chests painted team colors, wearing a foam hat in the shape of cheese (it’s a weird tradition!), cheering at the top of their lungs…and many of these same men would be bored in church on Sunday morning, barely mumbling the Mass responses (if they attended at all).

What makes you excited? Are you more excited for a sports contest that won’t be remembered in a year or for the challenge and joy of the epic quest for holiness, the chance to advance the Kingdom of God, the battle for souls which has eternal consequences, the pursuit of an eternal victory which will make your trophies pale in comparison?

If you find that your enthusiasm for sports is still stronger, consider what Christianity truly is. There is literally nothing more exciting and adventurous on earth than the quest to become a saint. It involves many of the same qualities as a good athlete: self-denial, dedication, and single-minded pursuit of a goal. But our goal has eternal reverberations!

Considering these three things—where you spend your time, how you spend your money, and what makes you excited. These can provide valuable insight as to when something has become an idol to us.

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I lost my iPhone a year ago. At first, it felt like a limb was amputated. I had owned one for thirteen years, and it was like an extension of myself. In the beginning days, I used the “new iPhone” like a phone, but it soon became an alarm clock, a calculator, the news, weather, banking, and much more…and then…it was gone.

As I was forced into detox, I had many pressing problems. My shopping lists now needed to be written on paper. An alarm clock was purchased, and a calculator. I missed the daily ‘ping’ of messages and the scramble to open them (and the feeling of being wanted).

But I was sensing the peace of not having this little piece of metal dominating my life.

I hadn’t realized how demanding and controlling the device was until it was gone. The world didn’t stop. I just had to relearn new-old ways of interacting with the world, like talking to people face to face and making plans for events. I wasn’t in a hurry to replace it. In fact, its demise led to a welcome revolution in my life.

I started experimenting with minimal media in my life. No newspapers, magazines, radio, television, or phone. I kept an iPad for work emails, selected YouTube videos on the weekend, and a few independent news pages. It was an experiment but one that has left me feeling calm and peaceful, enabling me to use my time for prayer and Scripture.

I could now cling to God more easily, who is “the same, yesterday, and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). The First Commandment asks us to “love the Lord your God with all Your heart and mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31). I wonder how we can do that when our mind is on our phones for most of the day!

Do we truly love God with our minds? Romans 12:2 says: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

I challenge you to abstain from the media, even for a little while and even for a little bit. Feel that transforming difference in your life. Only when we give ourselves a break will we be able to love the Lord our God with renewed minds.

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Life is full of unexpected turns. Nearly six years after the death of her mother, Bernadette had to suffer the loss of her father too. Since leaving Lourdes to join the religious order, she never had a chance to see him.

When assailed by this sudden demise, this is how Bernadette found strength—A sister found her crying in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary, and when the sister tried to console her, she said: “My sister, always have great devotion to the agony of our Savior. Last Saturday in the afternoon, I prayed to Jesus in agony for all those who would die in that moment, and it was precisely the very moment my father entered eternity. What a consolation it is for me to have helped him.”

For Bernadette, the Saint who, as a little girl, had the apparition of Mary at Lourdes, life was not without troubles. She had to go through many tribulations; big and small humiliations bombarded her. She often said: “When my emotions are too strong, I remember the words of Our Lord: ‘It is I, don’t be afraid.’ I immediately appreciate and thank Our Lord for this grace of rejection and humiliation from those in authority. It is the love of this Good Master who would remove the roots from this tree of pride. The more little I become, the more I grow in the Heart of Jesus.”

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