May 13, 2020 1279 Shalom Tidings

The Day I Met My Mother

Even though I was adopted into a non-churchgoing Anglican family, I always believed in God and my mother had faith. There was, however, a lot of brokenness in my family because my father came from a broken family and Dad’s way of coping was drinking. This led to a lot of instability and even violence.

When I was 11, my parents split up and my Mum, younger brother and I moved to Australia, with my three older brothers following later. When I was 18, I joined the army and remained there for seven years. For the last couple of years, I worked in career advising, then went to Sydney University and studied Psychology.

Filling the Vacuum

I had always wanted to be in control of my life and tried everything to make myself happy. But the older I got the more miserable I became and, because I was adopted, I was insecure about whether I was loved. While I was in the army, I fell in love with a young man and we had a serious relationship with a view to marriage, but one day I found out he was seeing another girl and this broke my heart. After that, I became more insecure and I would do everything to make myself lovable, including never eating sweets or anything fattening; I was very disciplined, always exercising and spent a lot of time trying to look perfect. However, instead of feeling lovable, I felt more insecure. When I was about 27, I met someone who loved me. He wanted to be very successful in life and, even though I wasn’t in love with him, I thought I would marry him because he would give me security. During this time, would often spend a lot of money at expensive restaurants and lots of drinking. It felt so superficial with everyone trying to outdo each other. I was carrying a lot of hurt, which caused me to put up walls, so most of the time I only really felt good when we were drinking. I would feel horrible afterwards.

On a good note, his mother had a deep faith and his parents really loved each other. This gave me security because I hadn’t seen a stable marriage before. Although I was living in a highly sought-after suburb, I was very unhappy. The more worldly I became, the more insecure I felt. I believed that I needed to impress people to be lovable. When I met my natural mother and sister, I discovered they were both highly educated, with my sister being a doctor. My natural mother said that she thought that I would have gone to a better family and been educated. This hurt me. One of the reasons I went to University was to show her I was smart. Nevertheless, I only felt more insecure because I realised that I was doing it to be accepted.

Beads of Hope

In 1998, my mother had a physical healing and I remember thinking, “I will never deny God after this.” My boyfriend’s mother asked if I would take him to church on Good Friday and although I didn’t know what Good Friday was, I said, “Yes”. On Holy Thursday, we went out and got really drunk, so I was feeling really ashamed of myself when we went to the Good Friday service. Afterwards, I got on my knees and prayed, “Dear Lord, help me to stop drinking and help me to be good.” Well, God certainly answered that prayer and He gave me His mother to help me.

The next day, at my boyfriend’s house, I felt a great desire to pray the Rosary and asked his mother to teach me. I wasn’t a Catholic. I’d never even heard the Rosary, so I didn’t know where that came from. (Now, I know that it was the Holy Spirit). She was busy making dinner, so she gave me a set of plastic rosary beads and a rosary card and showed me how to pray. So, I went into the spare room and spent about an hour praying my first Rosary.

I felt an astounding peace that I hadn’t felt since childhood. Wow! I knew Catholics had something extraordinary here. I beseeched Mary, “Help me to be like you.” I didn’t realise what I was saying, but the Holy Spirit, in His great love, prompted that prayer. God gave me His beautiful mother to teach me how to pray and discover Jesus through the Rosary. After that day, I never stopped praying it.

The Best Birthday Gift ever

Six weeks afterwards, I visited England to see a close friend who wasn’t doing well mentally. I also thought that my boyfriend might realise how much he missed me. I arrived very early on the morning of my 30th birthday, so I was really looking forward to going out to celebrate my birthday with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t turn up at the airport. After waiting for a few hours, I rang her parents. Her Dad didn’t know where she was, so he told me to catch a bus. As I sat at the bus station, I said to myself, “I’ve got nobody – nobody loves me.” Before this, I would always pretend I had it together. I couldn’t stop crying as I faced the truth for the first time.

At that point, I heard a beautiful voice inside me say, “You’ve got me. I love you”. Instantly my tears dried up, I felt completely loved and I was filled with joy. In fact, I couldn’t stop smiling. I had never felt so complete and secure. All my life, I had been searching for love, but even when I hadn’t thought of Him, Jesus, in His mercy, came into my heart. From that moment on, I just wanted to know Jesus. Who is this God who would love me? I remember thinking, “This is the best birthday present I could ever have!” It was the beginning of my life.

On the 1st of September 1998 I became a Catholic. When I made my first Confession, I felt like a weight lifted off my chest. All the mistakes and sins I’d made and the shame I’d felt completely fell off me. The first time I received Jesus, I was a little bit worried because I didn’t ever want to sin ever again.

On Being Called

This experience completely changed my life. I returned to Australia and gave my life to God. I started off by wanting to know my faith and did various Mission Schools and formation programs. God gave me a heart for youth formation, parish renewal and evangelisation. Through this, a lay community evolved. During World Youth Day in 2008 I felt a strong call to be a Sister. I had previously felt this, but when I visited various religious communities the call disappeared. This time it was a very strong call and I knew it wasn’t from me. Archbishop Porteous, then auxiliary Bishop of Sydney, suggested starting a community under his authority and guidance, with the charism which had already evolved in the lay community.

In our community, we desire to become saints, to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbours as ourselves, under the banner of the Immaculate Conception. The charism of the Immaculata community is Spiritual Renewal through Adoration, the Rosary and Faith Formation in parishes and in Mission. At the heart of renewal is love. Jesus said to love one another as He has loved us. “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35). Love is particularly needed in our world and is the greatest way to evangelize. We want to help people to love the sacraments and their Catholic faith, to bring back a sense of prayerful devotion which fosters a love for Jesus. In our devotion to Our Lady, we teach youth to pray the Rosary and lead them into Eucharistic Adoration. Our Lady brings them to the feet of Jesus. Because Jesus gave us Mary at the foot of the Cross, she helps us stay close to Jesus and points the way to holiness. It was this experience of Mary which brought me close to God.

As Religious, we seek to imitate Christ in his poverty, chastity and obedience, so that we may have an undivided heart completely given to Christ for the service of His Church. We seek to follow Christ through the example of Mary’s fiat – “Let it be done unto me according to Thy Word.” – giving ourselves completely to the will of the Father through our vows. Through our consecration, we commit to always remaining faithful, with the Cross before us and the world behind us, at His Mother’s side. We also take a fourth vow of charity because Christ commands us to love one another and love is sorely needed in the world.

Article is based on the testimony shared by Mother Mary Therese also on the Shalom World program “Mary My Mother”. To watch the episode visit: https://shalomworld.org/episode/sr-mary-therese.


Shalom Tidings

Shalom Tidings

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