“Give Me Your Heart”

What happens when a Protestant Pastor finds a great treasure in the Catholic Church? Becoming a Catholic was not easy for me. Like many converts, I had my share of misconceptions, and obstacles. My biggest obstacle was that my faith/ church perspective was also my career. At 20, I entered into full-time ministry as a Youth Pastor. Throughout my 22 year career in ministry, I have performed many roles—Senior Pastor, Teaching Pastor, Worship Leader, Missions Coordinator etc. My faith was my life, and the idea of leaving it all behind to become a Catholic was something that I wrestled with. I never would have thought it could happen. I had no Catholics in my family. Growing up as the son of a United Methodist pastor, my only exposure to the Catholic faith was from people who hated the Catholic faith. When I met my wife, I asked her if she went to church. She replied, “I’m a Catholic but I don’t go to church”, so I took her to my church and she loved it! We were married in the United Methodist church where I worked; and never looked back. Until… Caught Unawares Like many others who ultimately convert, my first experience with a Catholic who actually practiced his faith proved to be life changing. His name is Devin Schadt. He was a graphic designer. I hired him to create a logo for our youth ministry which led to some interesting conversations about faith, church and eventually his Catholic faith. My first impression of him was that he loved Jesus and had a vibrant faith. This seemed very strange to me, because as I sat in his dining room, I was intrigued by the icons, paintings and other “Catholic looking” stuff he had in his house. Who does that? I had to press him on this. I had never heard a Catholic talk about Jesus in the way Devin did. I had assumed that he just hadn't read the Bible enough to see that his Catholic faith contradicted the Scriptures. I was licking my chops at the idea of sharing some verses with him and explaining the Gospel. I was certain that after a few minutes of this, he would be ready to become a “real” Christian, pray the sinner’s prayer, and become a Protestant like me. I asked him, “Devin, when were you saved?” I wanted to see how a Catholic would answer this question. I did not expect much. I was so wrong. Not only did Devin have an answer to that question, but he had his own questions for me. Questions that I was not at all prepared for. For example, “Keith, where did your Bible come from?” “Why are there so many Protestant denominations?” “How do we know who is accurately teaching the truth of Christianity when there are so many differences between Protestant denominations?” And so many more! I had never heard any of these ideas before, but although I was intrigued, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility that the Catholic Church could be the one true Church founded by Christ. Even the idea that there was one true Church founded by Christ was a new idea to me. I had always believed that what mattered was a person’s faith and belief in the scriptures, not any connection to an institution. Devin was helping me to see that the Bible itself shows that Jesus not only founded a Church, but that it still existed today through the authority of the apostles as they had handed down the faith. However, this was not something I could easily accept. When God Called Me Devin and I would go on to have many conversations over the years. We would take a pilgrimage to Rome and Medjugorje together. We would argue passionately. During this time, my ministry and my family were growing. I loved my role in my church. God was moving and things were great. Although there were many things Devin had showed me that challenged my Protestant thinking, I was still too afraid to seriously entertain the idea of converting. However, there was one night in particular where God called me out. I was at a church camp and one of my friends was leading the youth in a communion service. It was nothing new to me, but as he worked his way through the service and held up the bread and juice and said “this represents Jesus”, I knew that this was not what Jesus said, and I also knew this was not what the Christian Church believed for 1500 years. It was as if God was calling to me “Come home and I’ll show you more...” I broke down and left the room. I called Devin and confessed to him that I was feeling called to become a Catholic. I was terrified that he would rub it in my face that he was right (only because that is what I would have done), but he did not. He simply said he was there to help. I wish that this was the part of my story where I converted, but it is not. I was too afraid. I bailed because I could not wrap my mind around how this could work. What would I do for a job? What would my family think? How could I explain this? All of these questions overpowered the leading I felt and I put this whole Catholic thing behind me for many years. It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life. More than 10 years later, eventually God’s call home would become something I could no longer ignore. I had been the “Pastor to Youth and Mission” at a United Methodist Church for a couple years when a good friend of mine named Greg invited my wife and me to attend a screening of “Apparition Hill”. This movie was a documentary that followed seven strangers on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. I had not thought about that trip in quite a while, but when Greg called I thought I’d better go, since he was the one who originally took me on that trip all those years ago. The movie brought so many things back into my mind and had me in tears a few times. This film was clearly used by our Blessed Mother to reach out to me. Worst Part I had been in a bit of a storm in my church. Although my local church was great, our denomination was a mess. It had become clear to me that without an authoritative voice to not only interpret Scripture, but even history, chaos and schism were inevitable. For the United Methodists, the cultural issues of the day surrounding Marriage and Scripture were unraveling what was once a strong denomination. I found myself at odds with many people who wanted the church to change with the times. It did not seem to bother them that the scriptures clearly defined things like marriage and human sexuality. “That’s just one interpretation”. “The church has had it wrong all these years and we will fix it”. “God doesn’t hate. He/she loves everybody so you can’t judge anyone”. These were just some of statements I wrestled against all the while knowing that I really did not have a leg to stand on without some kind of external God-given authority to tell me otherwise. During one of my conversations with a very liberal pastor friend, she said to me, “Keith if you believe all that Church authority stuff, why aren’t you a Catholic?” Great question! I had begun to reopen that idea. It seemed that the more I thought about everything Devin and I had argued about, the more it made perfect sense. I was in a different place. I had learned that not listening to God is the worst thing you can do. I still had objections. I still had issues, but I had begun to feel a new sense of calling and a new presence in my life. It took me a while to put my finger on it, but it all became clear to me as I was preparing to preach a sermon on the Annunciation. (It was Advent—so we could talk about Mary.) As I worked on this message in my office, I became overcome with emotion. The more I thought about Mary, the more I became aware of not only how amazing she was, but how connected to the Holy Spirit she continues to be. I felt her presence. When I preached that sermon, I could feel the Holy Spirit moving. I talked about how Mary was the “New Eve” and the “New Ark of the Covenant.” I talked about how amazing she must have been for the angel, Gabriel to greet her “Hail, full of grace”. The people were so intrigued by this. One man came forward afterwards in tears, saying he had never heard anything like that before. There is so much more I could say about this, but the bottom line is: My doctrinal objections were solved not by arguments, but by The Blessed Mother capturing my heart. However, I still had the issue of what my life would look like if I converted. My dad had told me once, “Keith you can’t just quit your job and become Catholic, there needs to be a way”. He meant that I needed to know how I would feed my family. What would I do for a job? What about my ministry? A Step of Faith The answers to those questions would not be revealed to me for some time, but one night as I prayed before a crucifix, I said to Jesus, “Lord, I am ready to become Catholic, but I need you to make a way.” With as much clarity as I have ever had from God, Jesus spoke to me from the crucifix. “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. You don’t need Me to make a way, you just need ME”. I knew what this meant. I had just received my blessing during the Mass (because I could not receive the Eucharist). Jesus was showing me that He was not only truly present in the Eucharist, but also that my primary need was not for God to make things easy or fully revealed, but rather to take a step of faith like I had never taken before. He was showing me that what I truly needed was not control, or assurance. What I needed was Him. I was realizing that even if I lost everything I have in this world, but gained Jesus, I had won! I had to get to the place where I did not need it all to work out perfectly in order to convert. I had to be willing to sacrifice it all for Jesus. Once I was able to take that step, it all became clear. There was no looking back. Jesus said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” (Matthew 13:44) After all these years, I was finally ready to buy the field. I am so happy I did. Since becoming a Catholic, things have not been easy. I have lost friends, money, security, stability and more. But what I have gained has been more valuable than I could ever have asked for. The blessings I have received are incomparable with what I sacrificed. God has been true to his word. I know that no matter what happens in this life, I will never leave the Church. When you follow the call of God, it does not mean life will become easy, but it does become more meaningful. I am so grateful for the grace he has given to me, and I can only dream, about where this journey will take me from here.

"Questions swirled in my head, and it was hard to talk to my mom. But one surprising revelation changed my life forever.” Chi (Su) Doan shares those astonishing moments...  My life began in Vietnam in a loving family that set very high standards. Although we were not Catholics, they sent me to learn piano from the Sisters in the local convent. I was intrigued by their faith and their sense of purpose which I felt was lacking in my own life. One day, I wandered into the church and had a beautiful experience with Jesus Christ and God the Father which changed my life forever, but I didn't get to discover Mother Mary until a little bit later. Doing Big Things It all started when I was about 13. At that age, everyone seems to struggle a little bit, trying to figure out what to do with their lives. I didn't know what to do with my life. Looking at my brother and my cousins who were already successful in life, I felt under huge pressure to emulate their achievements. I found it hard to talk to my parents about this. Teenagers think that they can do big things without hindrance from adults like parents and teachers and I felt too nervous to bring up the questions that swirled around in my head. However, the kind, gentle Sister who taught me piano was different. When she gently enquired into my spiritual life, hearing with interest that I was going to church and praying often, I felt comfortable opening up to her about my struggles. I told her how I wondered if there was any conflict between being prayerful and having a successful career as a doctor, teacher or businesswoman. I was full of doubts and felt so lost, but she was full of serene confidence. She advised me how important a mother can be in guiding their children along since they have cared so much for them and observed them from their earliest days. I said, “It’s really hard to talk to my mother about it because I think I am old enough to do everything by myself without her help.” She assured me that it was okay, because if I found it hard to talk to my Mum, I had another mother I could talk to. The Surprise I was a little bit confused because that was a new concept to me, since I had grown up in a family without religion. “What do you mean?” I asked in surprise. She revealed the astounding news that since Mary is the one who gave birth to Jesus Christ Our Lord, she is also our mother. Jesus told us that we could call His Father, our Father, therefore we can call Him, Brother and His mother is our mother. As we read in the Bible, He entrusted Saint John and all of us to His Blessed Mother when He hung on the Cross. This was a totally new and strange idea to me and I found it hard to get my head around it. She went on, “Just think about it like this. When you grow up a little bit more, you will realize that a mother in your life is really important. Whatever problems you have, you are going to run back to her for advice and comfort, to help you face them. She is another mother helping you to do exactly the same thing. So, if you feel that talking to your parents is challenging, at this stage in your life, you can come to Mother Mary and talk to her so that you can find some peace.” It seemed like a good idea that was worth trying, but I did not know how to talk to her. Sister told me that I could just close my eyes and confide all my struggles, difficulties and suffering to her. I could tell her whatever I needed help with and ask her to offer me some comfort and some care. Just talking to her would help me think clearly about my future. I was not sure if it was all true, but there was no harm trying. So, when I had some free time, I sat down quietly, closed my eyes and doubtfully said to her, “Okay, if you are really my mother, can you help me with this. I am trying to figure out what I should be doing with my life because I want to do great things when I grow up. I am feeling overwhelmed by studying, but I am trying to put myself on the right path, so that later I won't have regrets. Please comfort me and help me to have some trust within myself to know the right thing to do with my life. Every night, I just kept saying the same thing. Whenever I was struggling with my study, I said, “If this subject’s not meant for me and I am not meant to be taking this any further, please just let me know.” Every time I said that, everything seemed a little bit better. At least I had someone to talk to about my struggles and difficulties now. Figuring It Out I was so intrigued that when Sister talked about Lourdes of Vietnam, I soon went for a visit. There I saw a beautiful statue of Mother Mary, high on a hill. As I gazed up at her, I felt looked after—that she was guiding me along the path that was meant for me. When I sat down to pray, I felt awkward for a moment. Am I really putting myself in the presence of someone who is really my mother, although it took me 13 years to figure out she is there? I did not know what to say at first. Then I started mumbling my jumbled thoughts about why I had come, why it had taken so long and my gratitude for having this opportunity. I began to tell her how lost I felt. I think that everyone is lost at this age so I hoped there was nothing wrong with me. I told her that I just didn't know what to do in my life. I didn't know if I should stress myself out trying to get straight A’s in school or lower my sights to something more reasonable and then figure out what to do from there. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to manage my studies or my life or how to become someone successful when I grew up. I confided how much it was all stressing me. I didn't know who to talk to because I didn't want to talk to people who would judge me and I didn't want to talk to people who would think I was weak. My eyes filled with tears as I laid my soul bare and put everything into her hands hoping that she would give me some advice on what to do. Eventually I just said, “Okay, I put all my trust in you. Please pray for me to God and then guide me along in my life because I really don't know who to trust any more. Please can you give me the courage to talk to my parents about what I am going through, so they can offer me some advice and help?” About once or twice a month, I came back to see her and talk to her. As time went by, I felt braver and got on top of my problems as I opened up to my Mum about what I wanted to be when I grew up and what options I’d have. I didn’t feel lost any more and I no longer struggled to talk to my parents and my teachers about how to choose schools, subjects, career and university, or other problems. Gentle Chiding It was strange at first because I hadn't known that I had two mothers in my life. Who would think of it if you weren’t born into a Catholic family? When I was about 16 years old, I started talking to my Mum about the experience I had with Mother Mary and surprisingly my mother agreed with me that it was true. She also believed that Mary is a mother who's taking care of her children. She affirmed that Mary was the one who had given me the courage to talk to her about my struggles, so that she had a chance to help me. It was a really amazing experience. I had simply talked to Mary and tried to listen to her voice. I didn’t hear her speak to me like Saint Bernadette, but sometimes when I was asleep or day dreaming, I felt like she was there telling me to just calm down a little bit. I seemed to hear her chiding me gently, “You just need to slow down.” In my teenage phase, I had always wanted to do everything quickly and manage everything for myself. I didn’t even want to share my feelings with my parents because I didn’t want them telling me what to do. So, it was a tremendous help when I sensed Mother Mary saying to me, “Just slow down a little bit. I know that you want to achieve success rapidly, but nothing works like that. Just trust me then it will eventually work out.” That was so true! Just a couple of years later, my family decided to send me to Australia. I was finally baptized and received into the Catholic Church at St. Margaret Mary’s Church, Croydon Park where I still happily attend Mass. When I am struggling, I come to her in prayer and ask her to pray for me to God our Father. I feel that she listens to me and responds to my prayers in astounding ways. Even now that I am in my 20’s, and living independently from my parents in another country, I still sometimes ask Mother Mary for courage to talk to them about my problems and open up to others. I am ever grateful for her loving, and motherly care.

One evening, my wife told me she had invited a Rosary group to our home. They would be bringing a statue of Our Lady and praying the Rosary. I shrugged it off because I had no belief in the power of prayer. I could not rationalize how uttering words could bring about a meaningful relationship with God. To prepare a beautiful setting for the statue of Our Lady, my wife bought two vases of brilliant red roses. The prayer group brought the beautiful statue of Our Lady. When they arrived, I fled to the background. But as the Rosary was recited, I stood at the rear of the room looking at the statue and wondering about the Rosary. Questions like: “Are we really praying to a statue?” popped into my mind. But I also found myself asking, “Are you really present here? I really need to know!” I felt like saying, “I need a sign to show me you are here”. My eyes fell on the brilliant red roses and I prayed, “If only you could change the color of one or two of those roses…” The next morning, I rushed to work. When I came home in the evening, my wife met me at the door exclaiming excitedly, “Have a look at the roses…Somebody must have asked for a sign.” When I glanced over to check them out, I was astounded to see pink roses instead of the brilliant red roses. It left me breathless. Regaining my composure, I told my wife, “Honey I think somebody did ask for a sign…and that somebody is me.” My wife burst out in delight, “It’s a miracle!” I examined them carefully to see if the pink roses were a different variety than the red roses, but they were clearly identical except for the colour. Truly it was sign from Our Lady telling me, “I am here. I am here to help you. Call on me”. From then on, I began to “pray” the rosary rather than “say” the Rosary. Every time I pray the Rosary with all my heart, it is an enormously powerful experience of our Heavenly Mother. She is always at my side, holding my hand, and walking with me on the journey of life.

Life in my family has been a journey of both joy and sorrow. Love and joy have often been overshadowed by loss of friends, failure in exams, changing schools and housing troubles. I have experienced great misery and loneliness throughout these trials, but despite this, I would cling to the help of Our Lady who would support and comfort me. Starting high school was a great change in my life. Many of my friends and schoolmates from primary school had moved away to other high schools so I had to try to fit in with new people and find the ones who would be my friends. There was far more work and assessment in my new school and it was difficult without a close friend by my side. As the months passed, I wondered if these hardships and trials would ever come to an end. I prayed to Mother Mary for comfort during these hard times and started a ‘Do-It-Yourself’ retreat by Fr Michael E. Gaitley called “33 Days to Morning Glory” to prepare for consecration to Mary. Each day of the retreat includes a daily reading from the saints. I was inspired by key passages from the teachings of Saint Louis De Montfort, Saint Maximilian Kolbe, Saint Teresa of Calcutta and Pope Saint John Paul II. This book deepened my relationship with Mary and trust in her motherly care as I reflected on what I read while I prayed the Rosary every day. Now, when I am consumed by stress or worry, I simply pray the Rosary and I can sense Mother Mary’s comforting hand on my shoulder. “While I recite the Rosary, I am holding the hand of the Holy Mother. After the recital of the Rosary the Holy Mother holds my hand” (Pope John Paul II). As my love and trust for Mary deepened with each day of the retreat, I no longer felt sad and lonely at school. Praying the Rosary and other Marian prayers brought about a great change in my spiritual life. On the day of consecration, I woke up early in the morning to pray the consecration prayer. As the words passed my lips, my heart bubbled over with great joy and happiness as I revelled in the knowledge that I was finally consecrated to Mary. Many of us, faced with similar difficulties in our lives are often unsure about what to do or where to go. Let us take this opportunity to trust in Our Lady’s intercession. We need to remember that Mary experienced many sorrows and hardships when she was on earth and can understand exactly how we feel. Taking her hand and asking her to accompany us in our sufferings can lead us to ‘a path of roses and honey.’ Let us pray this powerful prayer asking for Mary’s help during the difficulties in life: Mother of God and our Mother, Pray for us to God, our merciful Father, That this great suffering may end and that hope and peace may dawn anew. Amen.

In times of uncertainty, there's no need to panic. Just make sure that you are in the loop! Some years ago, I made a pilgrimage, with a friend of mine, along the Camino de Santiago in Spain. One day, we encountered a group of pilgrims which included a blind man. He looked to be about 25 years old and was walking along with the help of his mother. I immediately noticed that they were joined at the wrists by an elastic band–one loop was around her wrist, the other loop around his. In his other hand, he held a white cane used by the visually impaired. My friend and I walked at a slight distance behind this group for quite a while, silently observing them. They were a lively group, enthusiastically chatting with one another. The young man walked very confidently, linked to his mother only by that thin elastic band. Although we were walking through a forested area with dips and turns on the trail and little streams to cross over, she seemed to be leading him effortlessly, without undue concern. She wasn’t turning to him or anxiously looking at where he was placing his feet, nor did he move hesitantly or cautiously, but kept up easily with the group as they clipped along at a good pace. It looked so natural that you could tell she had been guiding him all of his life, and he trusted her. If we did come across a section of the trail that was extra rocky or had uneven terrain, then she would stop and take his arm to guide him over that. But for the most part, she was chatting and interacting with the group in a carefree manner, as was he. Mother and son took it all in stride. I have reflected a lot on the real-life parable that I witnessed that day. The Lord wants to guide us along life’s journey, just like the mother guiding her blind son. Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd, and good shepherds deftly guide and protect their sheep. So, how do we enable the Lord to guide us? To receive His guidance and remain secure on the right path, stay connected to the Lord and trust that He knows what He is doing. Like this mother who gently guided her son with the aid of the band attaching them, God invites us to be attached to Him. He has promised that He will never leave us, as Hebrews 13:5 says, “I will never forsake you or abandon you,” and we can count on that. But we need to do our part. What is our part? It is to stay connected to Him. We do that through a serious prayer life. Spend time daily with the Lord–getting to know Him; listening to His still, small voice; learning to sense those slight tugs and indications of where He is guiding us that day. As we stay securely attached to the Lord through prayer, we will know when we are approaching danger; we will grow in trust that the Lord will guide us through any crisis, any peril, and any difficulty. The Lord will give us insight and wisdom on how to negotiate any situation. Prayer is the “elastic band” that connects us to our Good Shepherd. One thing that this worldwide pandemic should have taught us is that we are not in control. But we have a God who is. He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us. There is nothing that God won’t do to guide us on our path to eternal life. Even in the midst of so much uncertainty, we can trust the Lord. Stay connected to Him, like this young blind man who never lost connection with his mother. He reached his destination safe and sound and enjoyed the journey along the way. This can be our destiny too if we go hand in hand with our Good Shepherd.

Going through financial stress and debts? Here's a solution for all your problems. Ever since high school, when I read about the fifteen promises of the Virgin Mary to those who pray the Holy Rosary, I did my best to say a Rosary every day. As a student, I promised myself that I would never charge people for rendering any assistance, especially if it involved using my God-given talents. Words of gratitude from those who benefitted from my help, made me feel more fulfilled than any material form of appreciation. Unexpected Twist In undertaking undergraduate and graduate education at the Catholic Institute of West Africa (CIWA) in Communication Studies and Organizational Communications, I had expected that I would always have enough financial support from my family, because we had a service station selling petroleum products. Of course, it is a booming business in my country, Nigeria, so I never anticipated any lack of funds. But as I entered my final year as an undergraduate, the federal government marked my family’s business premises and other buildings for demolition to expand a major road, promising generous compensation. As a result of the intended demolition, my family had to shut the business and purchase another site to relocate the service station, expecting that compensation payments would cover the loan and the cost of rebuilding. However, six years hence, no compensation has yet been paid. This affected my education, because I could not pay my fees. Fortunately, my other siblings had already finished university. Weighing Down God being so kind, I had some savings, enabling me to pay my bills for the final year of my undergraduate studies. In the expectation that the compensation would soon be paid, I enrolled in a two year Master’s degree, but this never happened, so the family business couldn’t bounce back. Towards the final year of my Master’s studies, I had accumulated about three thousand dollars in debt. Until I had redeemed every penny, they would not allow me to graduate. The stress of my debt was weighing me down physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I felt unable to ask anyone for help because I couldn’t stand the trauma of being rejected. I took to drinking alcohol and keeping late nights with friends to stave off the constant reminders of my penury which beset me when I was alone and unintoxicated. Some of my friends, who were surprised at the changes in my lifestyle, asked what was going on, but I felt too ashamed to tell them. When the stress became unbearable, I finally confided in my thesis moderator—Professor Oladejo Faniran, who is also the head of my department, and a Catholic priest. After disclosing my troubles, I asked him to approve my deferment request, so I could forward it to the school registrar for approval. He objected, asking me not to give up. He encouraged me to trust in God, to pray my Rosary, to share the problems with others, and promised to talk to some people on my behalf. That night, instead of intoxicating myself with alcohol as usual, I went outside into the darkness of the night to pray the Holy Rosary. With tears in my eyes, I cried my heart out to God, calling for mercy and help. The Ultimate Encounter With just a few weeks to my graduation, I uncharacteristically found the courage to disclose my situation to anyone who cared to know, including friends, classmates and even my social media acquaintances. Even fellow students, who heard about it from others, came to my aid with financial contributions beyond my imagination. To me, the most miraculous aspect of all this was that nobody rejected me. People came to my rescue in ways I never expected. I was able to raise the whole sum, with money to spare. Previously, I had always relied on my will power for excellence, but when the pressure became unbearable, I gave up and become depressed. But now that I am turning to prayer to help me cope with stress, especially the Rosary when I awake every morning, I am filled with a reassuring confidence that propels me to give of my best and hope for the best. Even when things don’t turn out the way I had expected and desired, my spirit will still be lifted and at peace. I do not feel complete if any day goes by without saying the Rosary, because I cannot afford to miss out on the promises of Jesus Christ, as revealed through His mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary. My daily encounter with Him in Her Rosary continues to contribute significantly to building my self-confidence, nurturing my daily interactions and setting me on a path of responsible living.

I was praying for a miracle and then I heard the gentle voice of Mary, my mother. Into Your Heart I am an only child, loved and cherished by my parents. My father was a devout Catholic but my mother was a member of the Protestant Church of Scotland. However she was very happy for me to be raised in the Catholic Faith, so I attended a Catholic school where I was fortunate to be taught by the Sisters of Mercy and the Marist Brothers. I remember singing her all the hymns I had learned, but, as a non-Catholic, the hymns to Our Lady were unknown to her. Amazingly, these became her favorites and she would proudly sing them when she attended May devotions and Marian Processions with my Dad and I. She encouraged me to join “The Children of Mary” and it was her love for the Mother of God which led her to join the Catholic Church many years later. I was also fortunate to have a very devout aunt who fostered my love for Mary. I loved to visit the beautiful church of Our Lady of Victories, next to my school, on my way home and spend a few minutes before the Lady Altar and felt that this was pleasing to Her and that She loved me. This relationship which was born in my childhood continued into my adult life, so in times of stress or hardship I would turn to Mary, my Mother and always feel Her tenderness, concern and loving help. I had a very difficult marriage, due to my late husband’s addiction to alcohol, so one day I decided to pray a Novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. My parish at that time was run by the Redemptorists who have a particular devotion to Our Lady under that title. A week later my husband stopped drinking! We had 14 months of peaceful sobriety, but unfortunately the addiction returned. Nevertheless, I am so grateful to Mary, because during that time, my youngest daughter, Alice was born—a fourth blessing. Pentecost without Mary? In 1989, I experienced the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. My spiritual life was enriched by being part of a Charismatic prayer group and I helped run “Life in the Spirit” seminars for several parishes. Then in 1993, I began to lead a prayer group and we ran these seminars again. I have always been grateful for the new relationship with Jesus that came about as a result of my baptism in the Holy Spirit, but became very aware that there was no mention of Our Blessed Mother because the seminars were based on a programme introduced by the Pentecostal churches. How can we have a Pentecost experience without Mary? When I suggested that this was an omission, my good friend John Vaughan Neil agreed and rewrote his excellent seminar, “Sons and Daughters of the Living God” with prayers to bring participants into a new and deeper relationship with their Heavenly Mother. In I994, I felt a strong call from Our Lady to visit Medjugorje and although the war was still going on in Bosnia, my friend, Anne and I managed to travel there with a small group from Ireland. This led to a radical change in my spiritual life. We were privileged to be in this holy village for the 10th anniversary of the Consecration of the World to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. So on the 25th of March, we took part in a procession up the Hill of Apparitions (Podbrdo) led by a Czechoslovakian Bishop who was a personal friend of Pope John Paul II. There, he urged us to consecrate ourselves and our families to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, telling us that this was a place of refuge and safety for the whole world. I did this, feeling happy that I had offered such a lovely prayer. The next day, I was surprised to find that I repeated the same prayer, word for word, and realized that it had been given to me by Our Lady. I have prayed it every day since. I have also prayed the 33 Day Consecration to Mary, as written by St. Louis de Montfort, which I cannot recommend highly enough. To entrust everything into Our Lady’s hands and to Her most powerful intercession is to experience Her maternal loving care and find true peace. A Gentle Voice I would need all of Her unfailing support in 2016 when my younger son Ruairi, was diagnosed with a brain tumour. He was only 33, a fit and healthy father of 2 young children. I immediately called upon Our Lady, asking Her to hold my son in her arms just as She had held Jesus and to sit with him on Her lap, at the foot of the Cross. I also asked Jesus that He would only see Ruairi in the arms of His Mother. Sadly, in spite of the treatment that he received and all the many people who were praying for him, it became obvious in July of 2017 that there was to be no miracle. My son was dying. One Saturday at Mass, I sensed a gentle voice within me saying, “I need your permission.” I tried to ignore it, but it continued, gently yet persistently, “I need your permission”. I knew it was Our Lady asking me to allow Her to let Ruairi go. I wept so many tears but knew that God loved my son and wanted the best for him, so I gave my permission. How gracious is Our dear Mother to ask. Days later, my darling son passed away, but the knowledge that he was with our Heavenly Mother was a huge consolation for me. Now, 3 years later, I can even thank God for the great privilege He granted—allowing me to share in the sorrows and sufferings of Mary. We have both experienced the agony of losing a son. Ruairi chose St. Maximilian Kolbe as his Confirmation saint. Like this great saint, he loved Our Lady and The Memorare was his favorite prayer. St. Maximilian said, “Never be afraid of loving Mary too much because you can never love her as much as Jesus does”. How true! Put your hand in Hers and let Her lead you to Heaven.

Have you realized the power of prayer in your life? My wife and I have a Christmas tradition of bringing our children and grandchildren together for the Christmas celebrations. On Boxing Day my wife takes the grandchildren to a pantomime, accompanied by some of our adult children. I know the grandchildren looked forward to the panto with much excitement. The last time we did this was four years ago. Since the grandchildren have now all grown up a little, the pantomime does not quite appeal as it used to. Fourteen years ago, I had a heart attack. After I received two stents and some rehabilitation I was absolutely fine. But 10 years later, at 3AM on Boxing Day, I awoke in a great deal of pain. It felt like a re-run of my heart attack. Because I didn’t want to disturb my wife, I got up and went downstairs to pray in the kitchen. I decided not to call an ambulance, mainly because I didn’t want to spoil all the Christmas celebrations. I have never prayed so hard or so fervently in my whole life, imploring the Virgin Mary to ask her son, Jesus for this not to happen right now, not for my sake, but for my family. I imagined the heartache this would cause them all if I was taken to hospital. In my prayer to Our Lady, I recalled the granting of her request in the Miracle of Cana. It gave me so much hope that she would listen to my supplications. As time passed, the pain increased more and more. Ten years previously, I had suffered the same symptoms. To my relief, after several hours of fervent, urgent prayer, the pain subsided and then left me altogether. I was so grateful to our Holy Mother for comforting me in my pain and anxiety and interceding for me. Now, four years later, I have remained completely free of pain from my heart condition and am able to cycle many miles each week. Trust in the power of prayer.

Father Chris da Sousa was blind until a pilgrimage to Fatima brought him a miracle and that wasn’t the last miracle she obtained for his family. My devotion to Our Blessed Mother started right from my earliest days. I’m Australian born, but my parents are Portuguese immigrants, so we’ve always had a great devotion to Our Lady of Fatima. We would pray the Holy Rosary in front of her altar in our home daily, so I developed a great trust in her intercession. I was born legally blind in my right eye and afflicted with a pathological condition in my left eye which caused my vision to deteriorate each and every year. As I grew up, my parents determinedly took me from one specialist to another, hoping for a cure, but always receiving the same news. There was no real treatment and by adulthood I would become completely blind. Take a Risk By the time I entered early adulthood, no vision remained in my left eye, so my study of Law was severely hampered. My parents were distressed by witnessing my struggles to read big law books with my severely limited vision. So, in my second last year, they went on a pilgrimage to Fatima to plead for Our Lady’s intercession to restore their son’s vision. I remained to undertake my final year. When they returned with strengthened faith and trust in Our Lady’s intercession, they found a specialist who had learned a new procedure in Belgium that might help me. Although an appointment with this specialist was almost unobtainable, they asked Our Lady to help and I was unexpectedly called in for a consultation. Although I was resigned to my lack of eyesight, I couldn’t disappoint my parents after all their efforts. Immediately after assessing my vision, the specialist said that he wasn’t sure if this procedure would help me. It was also very risky and, because it didn’t have government approval, it would be very expensive. However, my parents had such a great trust in Our Lady’s intercession that they immediately agreed to put up the money and urged me to go ahead. I was apprehensive, but assented, consigning myself into Our Lady’s loving care. Take a Chance They started with my right eye—he legally blind eye. The surgeon had said that it may take some months before you see any real improvement, so I wasn’t expecting any immediate difference. But within 15 to 20 minutes after the operation, I could see clearly for the first time in my legally blind eye. Colours and definition I had never seen before! I came running out of that operation exalting God, praising Him and thanking Our Blessed Mother for her guidance and intercession. As I joyfully embraced my parents, the specialist, who wasn’t a believer, hailed it as a miracle. He was unable to explain this immediate gift of clear vision, after the procedure, in an eye that had never had clear vision. One month later, he operated on the other eye, my left eye. A repeat of the miracle seemed too much to hope for, but God’s blessing are abundant. Once more, within 15 to 20 minutes, I could see clearly in my left eye. Complete vision had been restored. Thanks to Our Blessed Mother’s intercession and my parents’ great faith and trust, I was able to kickstart life as an advocate. Make a Change I had always desired to be a lawyer, but I also opened myself to the Lord. What was He asking of me? I knew that this miracle was a free gift that didn’t need to be earned, but together with Our Blessed Mother, I would ask Him, “Lord what is it that you want from me? Why have you restored my vision when so many others remain blind?” This commenced a period of discernment, as I started working. Even though I felt fulfilled as a lawyer and projected a life of marriage and family, I received a calling in my heart to religious life and the priesthood during a World Youth Day pilgrimage. I felt overwhelmed with fear and it took me several months to come to terms with my calling. On the 13th of May, during Mass for the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima in my hometown, I asked Our Blessed Mother, “If this is what your Son wants from me, help me to see this just as clearly as you helped me to see.” It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes. I knew that her Son was calling me to religious life. Her Son was calling me to the priesthood. Entrusting myself into her maternal hands, I eventually discerned that I should give my life to the Lord, with the Somascan Fathers. Following an ancient tradition in our religious order, when I professed my vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, I also consecrated myself to Our Lady and added her name, Maria, to mine. Our founder, Saint Jerome Emiliani, had been miraculously liberated by Our Blessed Mother when he was a prisoner of war 500 years ago, enabling him to care for the sick, hungry and orphaned. I was miraculously liberated from my blindness, through her intercession, enabling me to give my life entirely to her Son. Miracles Do Happen When I was in Rome, preparing for my final Theology exams, my father became very ill with blood cancer. As he prepared to receive treatment, I went on pilgrimage to Fatima to entrust the health of my father to Our Lady’s care and to thank her for obtaining the miracle of my restored vision. On the same day that I walked on my knees to the place where she had appeared to the children 100 years earlier, my father’s specialist discovered that the cancer had completely disappeared from his blood. Once more, Our Blessed Mother’s intercession had miraculously restored another family member to health. Following years of mission in India, Sri Lanka and Mozambique, I returned to Australia to prepare myself for my solemn vows and priestly ordination. My ordination took place in Mary’s month, May, on a Saturday, in her honor. I entrusted my entire priesthood into her maternal hands. The next day, on the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima, 13th May, I celebrated my first Mass. It was succeeded by a beautiful, candlelit procession, in honor of Our Lady of Fatima, through the streets of Fremantle. Our cup had runneth over until, at the apex of our joy, my mother fell gravely ill and was taken to hospital immediately in an ambulance. I followed quickly so that I could give her the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick - the sacrament of healing. She was the first person that I anointed with this sacrament. It strengthened my priesthood so much to be able to minister to her, not only as her son, but as a priest. The doctors thought she had suffered a heart attack and were giving her medication to thin out her blood. In fact, she had an aneurysm and was haemorrhaging internally. They only realized this after several days of treatment with blood thinners. Their treatment was actually causing her to bleed more and more internally. She was rushed into an emergency operation, not expected to survive, but God blessed us once again with a miracle, thanks to the intercession of Our Blessed Mother, The doctors were unable to explain how my mother could still be alive after bleeding internally for so many days. My mother explained to them that Our Lady had interceded for her. “My son has consecrated himself to her and, as a priest, he’s been offering the Holy Mass for me every day. That is why I am healed, that is why this miracle has taken place.” Mamma Leads the Way These profound experiences have deepened my devotion to Our Blessed Mother. I encourage you to entrust your lives to her heavenly intercession. I can bear witness to the miracles that occur when she intercedes for us to her Son. She, who is immaculately conceived, received the graces, gained by her son on the Cross, from her conception. She was able to say “Yes” to being the Mother of God, preceding Our Lord’s assent to His Passion and Death on the Cross. Our Blessed Mother’s desire to help the couple at Cana brought about Our Lord’s first miracle. Our Blessed Mother’s heart was pierced with sorrow (Luke 2:35) foreshadowing Our Lord’s Heart being pierced with a lance on the Cross (John 19:34). So, she shows us how to follow Jesus, in all our joys and sufferings, entrusting them to her.

Even though I was adopted into a non-churchgoing Anglican family, I always believed in God and my mother had faith. There was, however, a lot of brokenness in my family because my father came from a broken family and Dad’s way of coping was drinking. This led to a lot of instability and even violence. When I was 11, my parents split up and my Mum, younger brother and I moved to Australia, with my three older brothers following later. When I was 18, I joined the army and remained there for seven years. For the last couple of years, I worked in career advising, then went to Sydney University and studied Psychology. Filling the Vacuum I had always wanted to be in control of my life and tried everything to make myself happy. But the older I got the more miserable I became and, because I was adopted, I was insecure about whether I was loved. While I was in the army, I fell in love with a young man and we had a serious relationship with a view to marriage, but one day I found out he was seeing another girl and this broke my heart. After that, I became more insecure and I would do everything to make myself lovable, including never eating sweets or anything fattening; I was very disciplined, always exercising and spent a lot of time trying to look perfect. However, instead of feeling lovable, I felt more insecure. When I was about 27, I met someone who loved me. He wanted to be very successful in life and, even though I wasn’t in love with him, I thought I would marry him because he would give me security. During this time, would often spend a lot of money at expensive restaurants and lots of drinking. It felt so superficial with everyone trying to outdo each other. I was carrying a lot of hurt, which caused me to put up walls, so most of the time I only really felt good when we were drinking. I would feel horrible afterwards. On a good note, his mother had a deep faith and his parents really loved each other. This gave me security because I hadn’t seen a stable marriage before. Although I was living in a highly sought-after suburb, I was very unhappy. The more worldly I became, the more insecure I felt. I believed that I needed to impress people to be lovable. When I met my natural mother and sister, I discovered they were both highly educated, with my sister being a doctor. My natural mother said that she thought that I would have gone to a better family and been educated. This hurt me. One of the reasons I went to University was to show her I was smart. Nevertheless, I only felt more insecure because I realised that I was doing it to be accepted. Beads of Hope In 1998, my mother had a physical healing and I remember thinking, “I will never deny God after this.” My boyfriend’s mother asked if I would take him to church on Good Friday and although I didn’t know what Good Friday was, I said, “Yes”. On Holy Thursday, we went out and got really drunk, so I was feeling really ashamed of myself when we went to the Good Friday service. Afterwards, I got on my knees and prayed, “Dear Lord, help me to stop drinking and help me to be good.” Well, God certainly answered that prayer and He gave me His mother to help me. The next day, at my boyfriend’s house, I felt a great desire to pray the Rosary and asked his mother to teach me. I wasn’t a Catholic. I’d never even heard the Rosary, so I didn’t know where that came from. (Now, I know that it was the Holy Spirit). She was busy making dinner, so she gave me a set of plastic rosary beads and a rosary card and showed me how to pray. So, I went into the spare room and spent about an hour praying my first Rosary. I felt an astounding peace that I hadn’t felt since childhood. Wow! I knew Catholics had something extraordinary here. I beseeched Mary, “Help me to be like you.” I didn’t realise what I was saying, but the Holy Spirit, in His great love, prompted that prayer. God gave me His beautiful mother to teach me how to pray and discover Jesus through the Rosary. After that day, I never stopped praying it. The Best Birthday Gift ever Six weeks afterwards, I visited England to see a close friend who wasn’t doing well mentally. I also thought that my boyfriend might realise how much he missed me. I arrived very early on the morning of my 30th birthday, so I was really looking forward to going out to celebrate my birthday with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t turn up at the airport. After waiting for a few hours, I rang her parents. Her Dad didn’t know where she was, so he told me to catch a bus. As I sat at the bus station, I said to myself, “I’ve got nobody - nobody loves me.” Before this, I would always pretend I had it together. I couldn’t stop crying as I faced the truth for the first time. At that point, I heard a beautiful voice inside me say, “You’ve got me. I love you”. Instantly my tears dried up, I felt completely loved and I was filled with joy. In fact, I couldn’t stop smiling. I had never felt so complete and secure. All my life, I had been searching for love, but even when I hadn’t thought of Him, Jesus, in His mercy, came into my heart. From that moment on, I just wanted to know Jesus. Who is this God who would love me? I remember thinking, “This is the best birthday present I could ever have!” It was the beginning of my life. On the 1st of September 1998 I became a Catholic. When I made my first Confession, I felt like a weight lifted off my chest. All the mistakes and sins I’d made and the shame I’d felt completely fell off me. The first time I received Jesus, I was a little bit worried because I didn’t ever want to sin ever again. On Being Called This experience completely changed my life. I returned to Australia and gave my life to God. I started off by wanting to know my faith and did various Mission Schools and formation programs. God gave me a heart for youth formation, parish renewal and evangelisation. Through this, a lay community evolved. During World Youth Day in 2008 I felt a strong call to be a Sister. I had previously felt this, but when I visited various religious communities the call disappeared. This time it was a very strong call and I knew it wasn’t from me. Archbishop Porteous, then auxiliary Bishop of Sydney, suggested starting a community under his authority and guidance, with the charism which had already evolved in the lay community. In our community, we desire to become saints, to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbours as ourselves, under the banner of the Immaculate Conception. The charism of the Immaculata community is Spiritual Renewal through Adoration, the Rosary and Faith Formation in parishes and in Mission. At the heart of renewal is love. Jesus said to love one another as He has loved us. “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35). Love is particularly needed in our world and is the greatest way to evangelize. We want to help people to love the sacraments and their Catholic faith, to bring back a sense of prayerful devotion which fosters a love for Jesus. In our devotion to Our Lady, we teach youth to pray the Rosary and lead them into Eucharistic Adoration. Our Lady brings them to the feet of Jesus. Because Jesus gave us Mary at the foot of the Cross, she helps us stay close to Jesus and points the way to holiness. It was this experience of Mary which brought me close to God. As Religious, we seek to imitate Christ in his poverty, chastity and obedience, so that we may have an undivided heart completely given to Christ for the service of His Church. We seek to follow Christ through the example of Mary’s fiat - “Let it be done unto me according to Thy Word.” - giving ourselves completely to the will of the Father through our vows. Through our consecration, we commit to always remaining faithful, with the Cross before us and the world behind us, at His Mother’s side. We also take a fourth vow of charity because Christ commands us to love one another and love is sorely needed in the world. Article is based on the testimony shared by Mother Mary Therese also on the Shalom World program “Mary My Mother”. To watch the episode visit: https://shalomworld.org/episode/sr-mary-therese.