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Nov 02, 2020 381 Roseanne Pappas
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Conquer the World

Are you worried about the future? Feeling doubtful? Then this inspiring testimony is for you!

A Tough Day

Sheets of rain pelted the bedroom window like a rhythmic bass drum. I rolled over and peered at the clock. It was 8 in the morning, but the sky was dark as night. Five more minutes, I told myself as I nestled back under my blanket. My 19 year old son would be heading out the door to class in less than thirty minutes. He’d been feeling down and I was worried. Our conversation from the night before played over in my mind.

“What’s bothering you? You’ve been moping around for a while now,” I asked.

“Everything is bothering me. I wish I’d gone to a different university. This school is not helping me get where I want to go. It’s a waste of time. I botched my high school grades and there’s nothing I can do about it. I should just quit school, go to L.A. and get some real film experience,” he complained.

My chest tightened. We’d had similar conversations before. “What happened to the days of apprentices? I need to be an apprentice,” he insisted. He made a lot of sense. Although I was intent on him getting a college degree, I knew that his future was between him and God. Ultimately, he needed to figure it out for himself. My job wasn’t to conform himself to my plans, but to help him to flesh it out for himself. “So, what do you think you should do?” I tentatively enquired, fearing his answer. “I don’t know,” he muttered. I took a deep breath. “You’ll figure it out,” I asserted.

My alarm went off. As my son clattered down the stairs, I rose to join him. Hopefully, he was feeling better.

“Breakfast?” I offered cheerfully.

“No, I’ll pick something up on my way,” he murmured, hardly looking up. “Ugh”, I thought, he’s still down.

“Be careful, it’s raining and the roads are slick,” I warned.

“I will,” he promised.

“Have a good day,” I called after him as he walked out the back door.

What Kind of a Christian Am I?

I slumped into my comfortable easy chair. The dark sky mirrored my mood. With my heart heavy, my morning prayers were rote. I felt the weight of his angst. His doubt about his future became my doubt. I felt guilty. The struggles of life, marriage and children felt overwhelming. I was down and, on top of that, I felt shame for being down. What kind of a Christian was I really? I should be happy, positive and grateful, but I wasn’t. “Jesus, I am so down, full of doubt and full of shame for my doubt. Forgive me, but this is the truth of how I am feeling,” I whispered. I picked up my devotional and read it. The words penetrated my heart.

“Set your standard very high. Aim at conquering the world, the world around you. Just say, ‘Jesus conquers, Jesus saves”—in the face of every doubt, every sin, every evil, every fear. No evil can stand against that for there is ‘No other name under Heaven given among men, whereby men can be saved.’ To every fear of want or lack, ‘Jesus saves from poverty’, to every fear, ‘Jesus saves from fear.’ Do this to every ill and it will vanish, as night when sun rises.”

How had I allowed my son’s misery and doubt to become my misery and doubt? I prayed, “Jesus, you know what my son needs, who he is and what you have in store for him. It’s okay that I don’t. You know that although I want to fix it all and make it all better, I can’t. I don’t know anyone in the film industry, but you do. If you want this for him then bring the right people to him. If not, I know you will bring something better about for him. Thank you for using my son’s rough patch for his good and your glory. Forgive me for my unbelief and for doubting your plan and love for him.” With my prayer came my surrender and it lifted my spirits.

When Unbelievable Happens

That afternoon, as I arrived home and pulled into the driveway, I realized I had inadvertently left the garage door open. Inside the garage, attached to the door into the house was a piece of paper reading,

“The Suncoast Film Company is filming a movie on your street tomorrow morning. The street will be blocked off at different times during the day. We will be back in your neighborhood late this afternoon to discuss the details.”

I could not believe my eyes! A film company was coming to our street tomorrow! The film company representative rang our doorbell a few hours later and, during our chat, agreed to offer my son a job as an intern. As soon as my son walked in the door, I rushed to give him the news. I recounted the day’s events, including the reading in the devotional and my prayer to Jesus on his behalf.

Looking into his eyes, I told him, “Never doubt that Jesus is with you through everything. Praise Him through everything, no matter what. You were made for Him and for His glory. You are part of His plan and He loves you. Every breath you take is proof of that. Tell him everything you feel and everything you want. Then trust in Him to see you through. ”

“I will, Mom. I just can’t believe this. It’s incredible! I’m going to be an intern for a movie right here in our street. I’m so excited and stunned by it all,” he exclaimed as he beamed from ear to ear.

That internship opened the door for him to freelance throughout college as a production assistant in film and in television. However, the real gift of that experience came before the miracle of the film company’s arrival at my door. It was the words of truth, “To every fear or lack or want, “Jesus saves,” shifting my heart from self-focus, doubt and fear to peace and freedom in Christ.

Dear Jesus, I surrender all my anxieties, fears and doubts into your hands. Trusting in your love and mercy I live every moment and look up to you. Reign in my heart O Lord that I may walk in your light and find true freedom and peace. Amen.

Roseanne Pappas

©Roseanne Pappas © is an artist, author, and international speaker. She is a graduate of Loyola University with a B.A. in Mass Communications and Broadcasting. Pappas inspires others as she shares her personal journey of embarking on a paradigm shift from shame to grace. She has been married for over thirty-two years and lives in Florida with her husband and four children.

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