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A Comical Touch

Sitting down to a blank screen, I chuckle as I recall many amusing moments where grace has appeared in the midst of farce. It is difficult to pick just one story to share. The truth is, my whole life is a story, since the day God called me into being. “You formed my inmost being; You knit me in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13) I have had one encounter after another with God. How do I choose just one?

Looking back, this series of events seemed to be comically orchestrated by God to teach me a lesson. Although I know that God is always with me, the time I spend quietly in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament is fundamental for my well-being. Spending time alone with my Lord enables me to recharge my spiritual batteries. This particular day, I had planned to spend an hour with God in the Adoration Chapel. I drove into the parking area and was pleased to see so many empty parking spaces. “Aah, perfect,” I thought, “a nice quiet hour with Jesus all to myself!” I grabbed the prayer bag I had equipped with a Bible, a journal, prayer books and a rosary and headed to the Adoration Chapel.

Happily on a Mission

At this point, I felt proud of myself for having carved an hour out of my busy schedule for adoration, for having gathered the appropriate adoration materials and for being on time. I was pleased that God had rewarded my endeavors by clearing the chapel for my arrival. However, as I turned the corner and walked up the pathway, I saw two women engaged in an intense conversation directly outside the chapel door. Had they not seen the sign—Adoration Chapel, quiet zone?

I was happily on a mission and I only had an hour. Jesus was waiting for ME. But wait! … There were two other people in the chapel … Where did they come from? No matter, I was still happily on a mission and I still only had an hour.

The Chapel is small and seats approximately 25 people. Choosing the right seat was crucial if I wanted to avoid interrupting other adorers in their prayer or avoid being interrupted by them. I scanned the room, spotted the perfect place, settled in and knelt to pray. Ugh! Although I was desperately trying to focus on my prayer, the restlessness of the other people began to distract me. One rustled her papers and books and the other repeatedly searched the contents of her purse or readjusted her chair. “Block it out, block it out” I repeated to myself. Meanwhile, the conversation between the two women outside seemed to get louder and more animated. Calmly, I got up, opened the door and quietly placed my pointer finger to my lips. Common courtesy would surely dictate that they would take their conversation elsewhere. Yes, they moved … but only a few feet to the left! Sighing, I returned inside.

Heaping Up

I knelt down again, closed my eyes, placed my head into clutched hands and tried to pray. As if on cue, another woman walked and who chose to sit in the seat next to me. Although she settled in fairly quickly, I thought I heard her sucking on hard candy. The candy clicked against her teeth in the relatively quiet room. A few minutes passed and it occurred to me that she was taking a long time to finish this candy. I discreetly glanced her way. Immediately, I took a second glance to verify my first impression. “Oh my!” It was not candy in her mouth. She had false teeth and clicked them quite vigorously, in and out of her mouth, as she prayed. I quickly faced forward. A little stunned, I just knelt there, partially wanting to laugh and partially wanting to cry as MY hour was slipping away.

Distracted by thoughts far from adoration, the frustration of MY hour not proceeding as peacefully and spiritually as planned began to wear on me. Breathing deeply, I helplessly sat in the Lord’s presence. One of the other adorers took her rosary out to pray. She was an elderly woman and seemed unaffected by the things that distracted me. “How sweet,” I thought. Perhaps if I took her lead I could focus properly on the prayers and mysteries of my own rosary. She began but prayed in an audible whisper in a foreign language with a choppy cadence. It was impossible to follow her rhythm; it was impossible to follow her language. It seemed impossible for me to focus on my rosary and pray to MY Lord, who was certainly waiting to hear from me.

One of the women who had been talking outside came into the chapel. She approached me and apologized for talking loudly. I politely nodded while smiling at her and closed my eyes to concentrate on my rosary. As luck would have it, she sat directly behind me, noisily settled in, pulled out her rosary and began to audibly whisper her prayers in my other ear. At this point I thought of yielding MY time to the circumstances but the hour was not over yet.

A few minutes later a sister of the other original adorer came in looking for her sibling. She recognized me and asked if I could stay in her sister’s place. I quietly nodded. Overcome with gratitude, she engulfed me in a big hug. As her powerful perfume and copious hair spray overwhelmed my senses, I gasped for air and tried to hold back laughter at the same time. This could not be happening!

Nothing’s a Coincidence

The cherry on the sundae came as the two sisters exited the Adoration Chapel and the regular Friday lawn service showed up, complete with back-up beeping trucks, lawn mowers, leaf blowers and chatty gardeners. Out wafted the heady aroma of perfume and hairspray and in drifted the sweet smell of freshly cut grass.

What was happening here? Why were so many noises and disruptions obstructing the peaceful hour I had planned to spend with Jesus? Did these people not realize how selfish they were being? No sooner had these thoughts crossed my mind when a light bulb turned on in my head and heart. Perhaps God was using these back-to-back disruptions to speak to me. What could He be trying to teach me?”

I reflected:

“Humility” popped into my mind. Having such a busy schedule, surely God appreciated the sacrifice of MY time. Although this might be true, I could see my attitude was distorted. What was I thinking? Although it is my will, it is His time. He gave it to me. It was not me giving Him a gift. It was He who gave me the gift of Himself in the Blessed Sacrament. Furthermore, every minute of every day is His gift to me.

In the midst of such a busy life, I was inordinately proud that I had carved out an entire hour to spend with my Lord. However, I felt like Cain, in the book of Genesis, who gave God his leftovers. I did not give God the best of me, I gave Him my leftover time. My self-satisfaction left and I felt shame wash over me.

Prepared with all the appropriate tools for an hour of adoration, I did not consider that He might want me to just BE with Him, like a friend. “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. Do I have eyes to see and ears to hear when He tries to get my attention? I did not have to plan the entire hour as if it were a meeting with an agenda. I just needed to BE. Although He wants me because He loves me, it is not He who needs me, it is I who need Him! Additionally, I should not have entered the Adoration Chapel as if I were looking for an auditorium seat but with reverence for the Holy ground I had entered.

Although I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and truly love Him, the fact is He does not belong exclusively to me. Each person who came to this Adoration Chapel came to be with Him. I acted like a selfish child demanding parental attention to the detriment of other siblings who also had needs.

Broken Silence

Many other thoughts surfaced as I sat in quiet shame. The heaviness began to steal my joy. Then suddenly, and almost as if orchestrated, everyone left the Adoration Chapel, one by one. I was going to be alone with Jesus for the last 10 minutes of the hour. God in His mercy and tender love knew my sorrow and gave me the longing of my heart. At last I was alone with Him!

I began to well up as I read the scripture etched on the Adoration Chapel door. It said, “Come all who are weary … and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). In my heart, I knew I was not His only child seeking consolation from Him in this chapel. Internally I smiled, humbly sighed and counted myself as one of the many as I said aloud, “Okay, Lord, I am here and I am weary.” After a few minutes of alone time I am pretty sure I heard Him chuckle as MY cell phone rang and broke the precious silence.

When recalling the abundant grace, mercy and forgiveness Jesus patiently bestows upon me as I falter through life, I am awed by His great love for me. I am blessed because He knows my love language and uses humorous situations to catch my attention so He can patiently teach me to love as He loves.

From the moment of conception, we become part of “The Story” in God’s Book of Life. Often, we chalk up our encounters with God to coincidence, happenstance, annoyances or fate. However, if we realize how intricately our lives depend on God it suddenly becomes clear how He reaches out to us so we can become aware of His presence in our lives. He tells us, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20) and “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

I recall the words of Saint John: “But there are also many other things which Jesus did, which, if they were written every one, the world itself, I think, would not be able to contain the books that should be written” (John 21:25). I understand that passage a little better today and feel a kindred spirit with Saint John as I look forward to accumulating more anecdotes of God’s story interwoven with mine.

My head and body ached and my mind was weary with sorrow. The last image of a young man’s life lingered and would not leave my thoughts as I tossed and turned between nightmares.

Sunshine and Laughter

The weekend began cheerfully. My sister’s wedding had brought the extended family together, so we were all making the most of our time together. Taking advantage of the glorious, summer day, we headed out for a swim at Crow’s Nest Falls National Park. A pleasant walk through beautiful bushland was punctuated by a stop at the lookout to admire the view. Thirty meters below the tumbling cascades, a waterhole glittered invitingly in the sunshine.

Clambering down, we spent a golden day laughing and swimming in the cool, clear water at the bottom of the waterfall. The children delighted in jumping off rocks into the deep water, while some of the local teenagers repeatedly climbed the cliffs for more daring leaps. It was a deeply satisfying day which made me feel that “God’s in His heaven—All’s right with the world.”

When Tragedy Strikes

Until the joy and frolics were suddenly shattered by an enormous splash as a young man jumped from the lookout thirty meters above. He didn’t come up again. The trembling of a small bush on the water’s edge was the only sign he had ever been there. Desperately, we dived again and again, straining our eyes to peer through the water, vainly stretching out our hands hoping to catch hold of him.

But it was all futile. The shallow edge dropped off too deeply for our bursting lungs and aching ears to reach. Even the police divers with all their equipment would find nothing for another three days. His family grieved as his broken body was discovered eight meters below the surface.

Was There a Second Chance?

What could have prevented this tragedy? He didn’t listen to the ranger who came down to advise us about where it was safe and unsafe to jump. He didn’t learn from a near miss when he struck a shallow rock with his hand as he leapt into the water. He scoffed at the appeals of parents when he nearly landed on their children. He didn’t heed the danger signs at the lookout, warning that jumps from there had previously resulted in death and serious injury. He climbed around the barriers impeding his progress. He ignored the pleas of a friend and observers at the lookout who begged him not to jump and told him he had nothing to prove. Perhaps the friend who urged him on by telling him that another friend had done it before, will have restless nights. But, let’s not be too quick to point the finger. How many of us forget that God’s laws and civil laws are not made to annoy, but to protect us? Like any loving parent, God tries to save us from suffering damaging consequences by warning us of dangers. How many warnings and near misses do we ignore? What does it take to make us realize that sometimes it is our fault and we are the ones who need to change? How often do we act without thinking of how our actions will affect others? Why do we value fleeting pleasure above the eternal happiness of our own immortal souls?

At his funeral, his brother said that he would not have gone home satisfied if he hadn’t attempted the jump. I wept as I thought about how glad his sorrowing family and friends would be if he had simply gone home with his desire unsatisfied.

We make a serious mistake by seeking the gifts rather than the giver of the gifts. We do not simply “use” God for what we can receive. If this was the case, then we would just give up on prayer and give up on God, which is what many people do. They yearn for that instant gratification that the world offers in so many ways. This is a very childish way to see prayer. We often look for God—when we want something and think we can turn on God—as easily as we get water from a tap.

We refuse to wait for fast food. We get frustrated in traffic. If the internet is too slow we start yelling at the screen! Let me be bold. Do not be afraid to “waste time with God” because it is not wasting time. Rather, it is the best possible use of our time. What better use of God’s gift of time could there be than to use it in praise of the Creator of time?

Think of the times when we received gifts of new clothes from our parents. Did we not make sure they saw us wearing them to show our appreciation? Do we not use things of this world for the purpose for which they were created? We use water to sustain our life and our world. We use the sunlight to receive warmth, grow things and store energy. We ought to use the gift of time to return God’s love, to develop the gifts He has given us and to use them to serve Him and our neighbours. Just because we do not see instant results we should not give up.

Think of the example of Saint Teresa of Calcutta. We know that for much of her life her prayer was dry and unrewarding. If she had given up, how much poorer would the world be? There is merit in persevering and looking beyond the rewards of this life and the quick fixes and the “buzz” we often expect. This explains why so many people turn to unhealthy behavior and get stuck in patterns of sin. When we receive stimulation from something (or someone) we can become addicted to the response. It develops an addiction in us and thereby we seek it more and more.

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, have the courage to look beyond the gratifications of this world and the lies it offers you. Recall that wonderful and challenging quote from Pope Benedict XVI: “The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort, you were made for greatness.”

Achieving this greatness means “wasting time” with God, letting Him take the first place in your life. Giving Him permission to be Lord and master of everything and not seeking to replace Him by the things of this world or the fleeting effects and comforts it offers to you.

In my ministry as a vocations director, I work with many young people in discernment. One of the first things I ask them is to learn to appreciate silence and simply spending time with the Lord. They tell me that it is hard to start with; we all know that.

Start small—give the Lord 10 minutes a day, a few times a week, then begin to increase the time. We cannot climb Mount Everest with one step. It takes many small steps. Start wasting time with God in small steps and then take bigger ones. I know a man who did this a few years ago. His five minutes with God turned to 10 minutes a day. Then after a few months 10 minutes turned to 30 minutes. Before he knew it, he was peacefully spending one hour a day in prayer. He is now a happy and peaceful priest, teaching others to pray, from his own experience.

The next time you feel bored or are tempted to pull out your phone—stop!

Think about why you are doing that. For what are you searching? What is the gap in your life you are trying to fill? What is the issue you are trying to run away from?

I recently saw an advertisement for a restaurant, which challenged families to put their mobile phones in a box at the table so they could spend the time talking and listening to each other. If they succeeded in doing this for the entire meal they would receive a free ice cream. Friends, spending time with Jesus is much more rewarding than ice cream. It reveals who is most important.

Instead of searching on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat—search for God. Use the gift of the time He has given you, at this moment, to turn to Him. He will fulfil you more than anything or anyone ever could. Remember that you were made for greatness and that greatness can be achieved by “wasting time with God!”

I have difficulty saying “No.” If someone is in need, I immediately want to respond and help. I do not like letting people down. However, this can quickly lead me to overcommitting and spreading myself too thin.

During an extraordinarily busy month with a lot of added stresses, I was reading Psalm 42 in my daily meditation. This verse stood out and grabbed my attention. “By day the Lord bestows His grace and at night I have His song …” (Psalm 42:9). I let the truth of this scripture settle into my soul and sink down deep.

The first part of the verse, “By day the Lord bestows his grace …,” reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures: “The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, His mercies are not spent; they are renewed each morning, so great is His faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). That passage has sustained me over many years. If I come to the end of a day feeling tired and discouraged, wondering how I am going to keep going, I recall these verses and tell myself, “Just get through this day, go to bed and in the morning God’s graces will be renewed.” No matter how depleted I feel, the Lord always provides what I need for the next day.

The key is to stay in the present moment, knowing that we have the grace for today but not yet for tomorrow. The Lord gives us the graces for whatever we are facing that very day. That is His promise. He will take care of tomorrow when it comes.

The next part of Psalm 42:9 says “at night I have His song.” My picture of this verse is God singing over us as we sleep. What is His song? His song speaks of His love and delight in creating us for a great purpose and of His loving care for us. (See at Zephaniah 3:17 for another scripture that talks about God singing over us.) His song renews us and gives us what we need, as we sleep.

Reading this psalm gave me consolation and strength during that very intense month when financial stresses and relational conflicts also demanded my time and energy. Although I felt overcommitted, whenever I felt tense I reminded myself “The Lord has provided the grace I need for today. Tonight He will sing His song over me, restoring my strength and giving me what I need to face the next day.” This beautiful image from the Word of God carried me through to the end of deadlines and commitments.

As we begin the new year, take heart and call this to mind. Whatever you are struggling with—the pressures of life, relationship problems, financial needs, job stresses—remember that God has the graces you need each day, ready and waiting. At night, He will sing His song of refreshment and love, healing and restoring your soul so you can face each day with courage and peace.

What’s the catch in seeking God’s will in your life?

Life in our family was a roller coaster ride of joys and sorrows. Love and laughter were mingled with financial crises, job losses, investment failures, housing troubles, relationship dilemmas, failure in exams and career quandaries. Although I often felt miserable during these trials and tribulations, my family would cling to Our Lord and He would intervene and calm the storm. However, it seemed the next hardship was never far away. I was born into a staunchly Catholic family that had enthusiastically embraced the Charismatic movement. My dad evangelized in small ways while running his own business and my mom’s piety and charity infused into everything she did, even her work as a lab technician. My siblings aligned themselves to the faith my parents shared with them, whereas I struggled to believe. My elder sister joined the Missionary Sisters of Mary Immaculate, Kerala, while my little sister pursued postgraduate studies.

When Uncertainty Strikes

My personal life was not going well either. Over the years, my studies and friendships were a constant battle. Although my dad insisted that we do yearly retreats and frequent follow ups, it did not make sense to me. Surprisingly, I progressed because so many people prayed on my behalf. When I completed my undergraduate degree in nursing I was appointed a tutor in the college and felt quietly satisfied at the recognition I had finally received.

A year passed by and my friends began to move away as their plans for the future unfolded. The position at work became redundant and I felt overwhelmed with uncertainty in deciding my next move amidst the unending suggestions from well-meaning friends and family. My parents observed my anxiety and suggested I give our Lord a chance to take a hand in my decision. With nothing left to lose I obliged.

For the first time in my life, I knelt with outstretched arms in the presence of the Eucharistic Lord. I confided my hopes and dreams, even though I thought they were impossible to achieve. Abandoning myself into His presence I prayed “I seek Your will for my life.” Reciting the rosary, I pleaded for our blessed mother to intercede. The moments that followed will always be cherished.

He Will Make a Way

As I knelt in prayer, our Lord spoke. He told me to pursue the higher studies I longed for but at a university, I did not desire. Since this university did not accept admissions until after all the other colleges had closed theirs, I felt fearful. What if the Lord’s plan should fail? I would also need to pass an entrance exam requiring months of preparation. Yet, in spite of my trepidation, I received the grace to obey His inspiration and plunged into prolonged study accompanied by sporadic prayer. When I finally took the exam I felt beset by doubt, certain I would not make it through.

As I journeyed home I felt low and hopeless but a message from the university changed that in an instant. Due to various issues, the exam results were cancelled and candidates had to prepare for another one. I was convinced our Lord was in control this time and doubled my efforts. My results were much better yet barely qualified me for the interview. I secured the 10th rank on the interview but, with only nine places being offered, I prayed for the next miracle. Of course, our Lord did not let me down. One of the students could not be accepted and I was taken in.

I realized that when you seek His will and lay the talents He has given you at His feet, He will offer you the best. I will never cease to be grateful that He granted an average student like me the chance to complete postgraduate studies, with high scores in the country’s top university. This was followed by an appointment as a lecturer—my dream job.

As the years pass, I have learned the beauty of seeking His will in each and every task. I became part of a Charismatic youth movement, involved in doing little things for His kingdom. Turning to the Lord and following His call has brought the greatest joy I could experience on earth. Trials have not stopped but now I am convinced it is for a greater good—deepening bonds within families, personal sanctification and invitation into prayerful relationship with our Saviour. Praise the Lord!!

“But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).

Do you really know the meaning of “Christmas?” Is it merely a celebration of the birth of Jesus?

The sun was already low when they reached the entrance of the cave. The young donkey that had left them at Joseph’s ancestral house to run around the town now gamboled joyfully around them. “Look,” said Mary to Joseph, “It is certainly the will of God that we should go in here.” However, Joseph was distressed because he had expected to be welcomed by his relatives at Bethlehem.

Although the cave was thickly stacked with bundles of straw, Joseph cleared some space to make a couch of rugs for Mary. Joseph was still apologizing for the poverty of the shelter but Mary was joyful and contented. Do you really know the meaning of “Christmas?” Is it merely a celebration of the birth of Jesus? When the time came for Mary to deliver the baby, Joseph retired to pray. At midnight, Mary was wrapped in an ecstasy of prayer surrounded by a great radiance. Everything, even inanimate objects, seemed to come alive in the light. The roof of the cave disappeared and a pathway of light opened above her, rising into heaven.

In this luminous light, she perceived choirs of heavenly spirits. Mary gazed downward adoring God, who had chosen her to be His Mother, as He lay on the earth before her in the form of a helpless newborn baby. The Redeemer of the world became a tiny child lying on the straw at the Blessed Virgin’s knees.

Mary gently lifted the child into her arms and enveloped Him in her veil. Angels prostrated themselves in front of her, adoring the baby. After the baby was tenderly wrapped in swaddling bands, Joseph laid Him in a manger filled with rushes, covered by a cloth. Mary and Joseph fondly admired Him, giving praise to God with tears of joy.

Blessed Anne Emmerich recorded this vision of the birth of Jesus in her book “The Life of the Blessed Virgin Mary.” Even the most beautiful paintings of Christ’s birth could not recapture the boundless jubilation she saw in reality. This tremendous joy was poured out on the world at the birth of our Saviour. We experience a portion of this happiness whenever babies are born. How rightly they are called “bundles of joy.”

Squirming for the Best Answer

One of my newlywed friends recently asked a curious question: How do I prepare to have a baby? I was a little bemused, and then I remembered the solemn occasion of our wedding and how I ardently prayed that God would bless us with little cherubs. When I became pregnant our joy knew no bounds but fear crept into my mind. I worried obsessively about the baby in my womb.

Of course, the first thing I did was turn to Google to find out what wisdom the internet had to reveal about pregnancy. I even downloaded the pregnancy app to get updates as my little one grew from the size of a cherry to a pumpkin. I took great care that I ate well each day— weighing out correct portions of protein, carbohydrates and fiber while consulting the list of essential nutrients. I even counted the number of nuts I was munching. All I thought about was the health of my baby.

Much to my trepidation, our first-born child was prematurely delivered after six months of pregnancy. Just three months later our world came crashing down when we found out that our beautiful little angel had suffered severe brain damage. As our little girl grew up unable to speak or even properly look at me, propped in a wheelchair, unable to do anything by herself, I debated endlessly about what had gone wrong? After all my careful groundwork why did such a thing happen to my little girl?

From then on, whenever I saw moms with healthy babies I wondered how they managed to achieve this miracle. By this time, I had also miscarried three times, which only aggravated my fears. When our fifth baby was conceived, I went to confession and poured out all the fears and dark thoughts that oppressed me. The kind priest spoke consoling words that I will never forget: “The baby in your womb is really in the hands of God. He takes care of all that your baby needs. You only have to trust Him and surrender your little one completely into His hands.” At that moment, I felt deeply moved as all my anxieties seemed to float away. Each day I prayed this simple little prayer: “God, my Heavenly Father, the baby in my womb is really in your hands. I know you are in complete control. Jesus, I trust in you!”

I had also been given a pregnancy leaflet “Blessed is the Fruit of the Womb” by Angel’s Army, which helped me take one day at a time and meditate deeply on Mother Mary’s journey through pregnancy until Jesus’ birth. I began to find precious gems in the joyful mysteries. Curiously, I felt that I could understand what Mother Mary had to go through in each mystery.

Precious Gems Along the Way

When Gabriel appeared Mary was full of apprehensions. Conceiving a child before marriage could result in being stoned to death and she had hoped to remain a virgin. Yet, she simply surrendered herself “Behold the handmaid of the Lord, Be it done to me according to Your word.” Her “yes” to become the mother of Jesus expanded into a “yes” to becoming a loving mother to the whole world, including you and me.

We, also, have great expectations that may differ from God’s plans. As we see in Mary’s dilemma, God really had a greater plan. You are precious in God’s sight and He is faithful in his promises. Simply surrender everything to Him and say “yes” confidently to His will.

After Mary conceived Jesus, she did not expect everyone to praise and serve her as mother of the Messiah. Instead, she hastened to help her cousin Elizabeth. This journey was tedious at the best of times; for a woman in the first trimester of pregnancy who may suffer morning sickness and extreme fatigue it would have been exhausting, The great zeal and compassion aroused in her heart by the descent of the Holy Spirit prompted her to reach out to Elizabeth, who was pregnant at an advanced age, living in seclusion with her mute husband. How often have we reached out to the needy when our own circumstances are undesirable?

Pierced Heart

On that cold night in Bethlehem, Joseph and Mary confronted rejection and loneliness with no other option but the shelter of a shepherd’s cave. Although Mary would have been more comfortable preparing peacefully for the birth at home, God’s plan took them to the City of David—Bethlehem. Did she ever complain?

During the last phase of pregnancy, I was often fatigued and in need of frequent rest. I wondered how Mary could endure it without a single complaint.

Often, I imagined Mary had the constant practical help of angels in her home in Nazareth. I pictured them helping her with the housework and cooking, changing Jesus’ diapers and amusing Him in his cradle. I even thought child Jesus might have delighted her by performing miracles in Nazareth. Instead, the holy family led a very ordinary life of work, prayer and recreation. We hear almost nothing about Jesus’ childhood and adolescence in the sacred scripture.

Here is the Saviour of the world, yet He is wrapped in swaddling clothes and resting in a poor manger. Mary said, “Yes, I believe.”

Here is the Son of God! Yet he needs to be taken care of like any other baby. Mary said, “Yes, I believe.” Here is a king whose reign will last forever, yet His parents are forced to flee to Egypt. Still, Mary said, “Yes, I Believe.” When the priest raises the blessed sacrament to speak the words: “Behold the Lamb of God …” Let Mary’s words reverberate in us: “Yes, I believe.”

Do you really know the meaning of “Christmas?” It is not merely a celebration of the birth of Jesus. The word itself reveals “Christ” “Mass,” which in turn spells out the sacrifice of Christ! Every day this sacrifice (Holy Mass) is offered around the world. When everything seems lost and no one truly understands or loves you, remember the most treasured “bundle of joy” awaits you in the Blessed Sacrament. Let us walk this “pilgrimage of faith,” holding the hands of Mary our mother and be filled with eternal joy.

Have you ever glanced over at the horoscope column in a newspaper or magazine just for “fun” or out of curiosity? You may say things like, “I don’t take this seriously,” “I know a lot of people who do this,” or perhaps “I don’t really believe in astrology so it’s okay.” Or maybe you are really looking for guidance.

I have the same birthday as my dad. We are both considered “Aquarius.” I remember reading the Sunday newspaper and, ever so casually, checking our horoscope to see what our “fate” was that week. I would also buy those teen magazines and consider what the horoscopes were predicting about my love life and my friendships or if something totally embarrassing would happen to me at school. At one point, I even had a “daily horoscope” app on my phone.

When I was a sophomore in high school, one warm summer night my friends and I went to the beach. As we strutted confidently down the boardwalk with our carnival food, an attractive, flashing sign caught our eyes: “Fortune Teller.” My friends wanted to do the tarot card thing. I had heard that this was not the best idea but I did not know why so I did it anyway. I thought, “This is harmless.”

To cut a long story short, I walked out on that fortune teller. At one point, she remarked distastefully to me, “Are you religious? I can sense a very strong spirit surrounding you.” I immediately got up and said, “Well, that must be the Holy Spirit telling me to get out of here!” and I left.

Then What Happened?

All of this was B.C. In other words, “before conversion.” I had a faithfulness problem and a forgetfulness problem. In many ways, it was the beginning of a journey toward trusting God more fully. I was searching for Him and only just beginning to understand the Catholic faith. I did not know how ardently God was pursuing me and wanting me to entrust my heart fully to Him.

I had no real idea why consulting horoscopes or fortune tellers was wrong, I just thought it was another “rule” adults wanted to impose upon me to keep me from having fun. I did not realize that, at the core of the “rule,” was a radical invitation to love.

By engaging in these acts, I was putting my trust in someone other than God. All along, the first commandment had been warning me against these temptations. “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:2- 3). I did not know just how much freedom was offered to me until I entered into a living relationship with Jesus Christ, who frees me from all bondage.

Nowadays, it is all so normalized: horoscopes, fortune tellers, witchcraft, magic, superstitions, Ouija boards … the list goes on. The culture portrays these options as harmless, or even helpful. They are often seen as exciting or merely silly games. We can sometimes feel invincible, as I did, and think, “nothing really bad will happen to me, right?” Yet, it is the opposite. By engaging in these practices we close ourselves off to our good and loving God and open ourselves up to the evil one.

By doing this, we separate ourselves from the one who loves us unconditionally. Here is the Good News: “If we are faithless, He remains faithful—for He cannot deny Himself” (2 Timothy 2:13). Throughout salvation history we see the Lord reminding His people to return home to Him but they returned to worshiping idols. Although He never let them off the hook, He remained patient and kept His promise to redeem them.

I came to discover that I really could put my full trust in an all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful Father. I did not have to grasp after anything else. I just had to be open to receiving His love on a daily basis.

Worshiping Gods That Cannot Save

One December, I had the incredible opportunity to do missions in Haiti. Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. It is culturally Catholic but some people practice voodoo alongside Christianity. They do this because they are afraid and want to do whatever they can to ensure their own protection and welfare. They baptize their children to gods who cannot save and they worship them. This culture of fear is easily seen because it is so openly expressed. Before going to Haiti, we learned about this reality and something that our trip leader said about it has stuck with me ever since: “Don’t be afraid because you sometimes see evil in Haiti. Be afraid because you don’t perceive the evil that is here in America.”

In lots of little ways, we become too comfortable putting our trust in someone that is not our Heavenly Father. The devil is very insidious in this regard—for example, when we only turn to friends for advice and consolation but forget to speak with God in prayer. Or when we seek to quench our thirst for love in relationships that will never satisfy. Or we miss Mass regularly and let the world’s values take priority. Or we worship money, fame and success. Or we fail to include God in our plans for the future and try to predict every detail. Or we turn to sinful habits to fill up the emptiness within. Superstitious practices like consulting horoscopes are the most overt example of this.

These were just some of the ways I damaged my relationship with God. I had such little faith in Him! Sometimes I am still afraid of what my life will look like but every day I realize how worthwhile it is to put my all trust in Him.

Worthy of All Praise

After observing their altar to the unknown god, Saint Paul observed, “Men of Athens, I perceive in every way you are very religious” (Acts 17:22). Wait … what?! Yes, he calls them religious because we are naturally religious beings and have a natural instinct to worship the source of our being. Whether we know it or not, since we come from God and are going back to Him we are constantly looking for Him in all that we do. So Paul calls us to repentance, “What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in shrines made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He himself gives to all men life and breath and everything. And He made from one every nation of men to live on all the face of the earth … that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel after Him and find Him. Yet, He is not far from each one of us. “‘In Him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your poets have said, ‘For we are indeed His offspring’” (Acts 17:22-28).

Trust in God

Any sinful habit or temptation is a sign that we are crying out for God. Paul proclaims that a relationship with Jesus is our truest hope. What does this mean for us? It means we need to spend more time dreaming big with Him and less time limiting His power in our lives by idolizing that which cannot save. Instead of falling into darkness, we should be falling to our knees in prayer. We can trust that God is eager to give an abundance of what is good for us whenever we ask. The Litany of Trust helps detach me from the false gods in my life and turns me toward the one who is worthy of all my praise, attention and hope.

In reality, my dreams are limited. When I am united with God, “nothing is impossible” (Luke 1:37). Praise be to the One who saved me from myself, knows me better than I do and never lets me settle for what I do not deserve.

Jesus is much better than a horoscope. I am praying for you!

Tempest-tossed

I stared into the darkness surrounding me. Tears were rolling down my face. I lay prostrate in the living room of my apartment, broken before God. Nothing seemed right to me. Did I make a mistake? Did I irresponsibly gamble with the future of my family?

It had been almost two years since I migrated to Australia with my wife and children, leaving all other family members and a secure job behind. It was a leap of faith. I had a strong conviction that the LORD wanted us to take this step.

I believed the LORD would lead the way and provide us with the means to settle down soon. After all, it was His decision. However, everything seemed to be going wrong. I had not even found a decent job yet. In addition to the financial struggles, I also faced health and personal issues.

I felt my hope slipping away. Would there ever be an end to our adversities?

Then, a most devastating thought crossed my mind: “Does God really exist? Is this all stupid?”

At that moment, a most illogical prayer rose from the depths of my heart.

“God, please exist!”

How to Sail Through Difficult Times?

Trials and tribulations are inevitable in Christian life. Many situations arise that challenge our faith and hope—even saints go through this phase in their lives. A book of letters written by Mother Teresa of Calcutta reveals that she was deeply tormented about her faith and suffered periods of doubt about God. What makes a true Christian different is his purposeful choice to obey, even when nothing seems right for him. This choice is the most challenging yet the most rewarding one.

C.S. Lewis, one of the most notable Christian writers, explains this beautifully in his classic novel, “The Screwtape letters.” In this, the senior demon, Screwtape, advises Wormwood, a younger and less-experienced demon as follows:

“Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring but still intending to do our Enemy’s (Jesus) will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished and asks why He has been forsaken and still obeys.”

This is easier said than done. Choosing to trust God is indeed challenging when you are going through difficult times. God understands how we feel. When He came to live among us, He shared our human feelings and demonstrated how to respond when all seems hopeless. On the cross, Jesus cried out in despair, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” (Mathew 27:46b). Then, He chose to commend His spirit into the hands of God the Father (Luke 23:46).

Open Your Heart

Fervent prayer helps us survive difficult times. There is immeasurable power in a truthful and intimate prayer. However, intense, truthful prayer is possible only if you have freedom to express yourself. That is why I am grateful that Christianity uniquely encourages us to approach God with the freedom of a son.

The book of Job demonstrates God’s response to this honesty. Job never tried to use gracious words to address God during his tough time. Instead, he opened his heart to God and even questioned Him. God did not get angry with Job but, rather, He was furious with Job’s friends, who played the role of God’s advocates and blamed Job for not giving God due respect. They failed to understand the depth and intimacy of Job’s relationship with God.

There was an end to Job’s suffering but his life was no longer the same after his conversation with God. In the same way, God will listen to your anguished pleas. He will attend to your needs and transform your life if you are open to His presence. Often, the way God answers our prayers surprises us and comes at a time we do not expect. Sometimes, we do not realize how our prayer has been answered until much later. For God has promised that He will never abandon us and that He will answer every prayer.

Time to Turn Back

Let us return to the prayer I prayed during my tough time. Did God answer my prayer?

Yes, He did.

He came into existence!!

He came into existence not as a being (He has been there all the time and He is the reason for all being) but into existence in my life. He came to be with me and I felt His presence in my trouble and pain.

“And He made my mourning into dancing and sorrows into Joy” (Psalms 30:11).

Yes, there are trials and tribulations in Christian life, but our victory is achieved when we unite them to Christ.

So, dear reader, if you are going through a tough time, hold on. You are almost there.

“For there is still a vision for the appointed time;

it speaks of the end and does not lie.

If it seems to tarry, wait for it;

it will surely come, it will not delay” (Habakkuk 2:3).

There is, to be sure, a stress within the Biblical tradition that God is radically other: “Truly, you are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, the Saviour” (Isaiah 45:15) and “No one shall see [God] and live” (Exodus 33:20). This speaks to the fact that the one who creates the entire universe from nothing cannot be, Himself, an item within the universe, one being alongside of others. At the same time, the scriptures also attest to God’s omnipresence: “Your wisdom reaches mightily from one end of the earth to the other, and she orders all things well” (Wisdom 8:1) and “Where can I go from Your spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; … If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me fast” (Psalm 139:7-12). This speaks to the fact that God sustains the universe in existence from moment to moment, the way a singer sustains a song.

What is perhaps the defining feature of the spirituality associated with Saint Ignatius of Loyola—“finding God in all things”—flows from this second great biblical emphasis. Despite His transcendence, God should not be thought of as distant in any conventional sense of the term, certainly not in the Deist manner. Rather, as Thomas Aquinas taught, God is in all things, “by essence, presence and power.” Mind you, since God is endowed with intellect, will and freedom He is never dumbly present, but always personally and intentionally present, offering something of Himself to us. Therefore, the search for God can commence right here, right now, with whatever is at hand.

One of the questions in the old Baltimore Catechism was “Where is God?” The correct answer was “everywhere.” Once that truth sinks in our lives irrevocably change, for now every person, every event, every sorrow, every encounter becomes an opportunity for communion with God. The 17th century Jesuit spiritual master, Jean-Pierre de Caussade, expressed the same idea when he said everything that happens to us is, directly or indirectly, the will of God. Once again, it is impossible to accept the truth of that statement and remain the same person you were before. This already graced quality of “all things” functions as the starting-point for Ignatius’ spirituality.

Ignatius had been very much on my mind while I was in Europe filming a documentary on his life and teachings for my “Pivotal Players” series. On the long flight from Los Angeles to Rome, I had occasion to enact the principle I just described. Ever since I was kid, I loved maps and so when I find myself on a lengthy plane voyage, I spend a good deal of time with the flight map, which tracks the location of the plane, vis-à-vis landmarks on the ground. I read and watched some videos the first part of the flight and then I slept most of the time we were over the Atlantic, but when I woke I began studying the map with great interest. We were passing just north of Ireland and I could clearly see the indications for Dublin, where my mother’s father was born, and for Waterford, where my father’s grandfather was born. I commenced to think about these men— neither of whom I had ever met—who bore the Catholic faith that eventually came to my mother and father and finally to me, as a sheer grace.

As the plane continued its journey across the English Channel, northern France came into view on the map and I saw the great name “Paris.” A slew of memories flooded my mind: my simple room at the Redemptorist House on the Boulevard du Montparnasse, Notre Dame, where I used to give tours to English-speaking visitors; the Institut Catholique where I did my doctoral studies; all of my Parisian friends, teachers and colleagues who accompanied me across those three years; the beauty of Paris on a rainy day. All of it, I knew, was a grace, a sheer gift.

Next, I saw we were approaching the Alps so I opened the window screen and looked down on the snow-capped mountains gleaming in the sun. How could I not appreciate this view, which untold generations of humans would not have even imagined possible, as a splendid gift?

In a word, the simple study of a flight map toward the end of a tedious journey became a rather marvelous occasion of grace. I wonder whether we would find this sort of experience less anomalous if we mused on the fact that God positively wants to share His life with us, wants to communicate with us. Perhaps the problem is that we stubbornly think of God in the Deist manner and relegate Him to a place of irrelevant transcendence. Then the spiritual burden is on us, to find some way to climb the holy mountain or sufficiently impress a demanding moral overlord. What if we accepted the deeply Biblical notion that God is always already busily and passionately searching for us, always already endeavoring to find ways to grace us with His love? What if we blithely accepted the truth that God can be found, as Ignatius taught, in all things?

“And I tell you, ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Luke 11:9-10).

You may have sometimes felt, “What good does asking do if there appears to be no answer to my prayer?” You might be tired of people sending out “thoughts and prayers,” thinking it is just an empty platitude. I have heard that a lot. It is easy to highlight the bad and forget about the good. Sometimes it is even difficult to connect a clear line from the prayer to the answer. Why are we so quick to forget the multitude of prayers that have been answered but hold on to prayer intentions that seem to go unanswered, while our hearts remain unwilling to change? Sometimes we figure it is more convenient to allow anger and frustration to grow inside of us instead of unclenching our fists and opening our heart to align with the Lord’s plans for our lives.

Let Me Tell You a Little Story…

Three years ago I was getting frustrated with God’s plans. Through discernment and prayer, I felt a strong call to marriage yet open to God’s plans for me. I was single as could be with a heart FULL of desire for marriage and a building consternation and pain about why that was not being fulfilled.

In prayer one day, God showed me this Scripture, “Ask and you shall receive.” Then He brought it up again and again and again. “Okay, I get it,” I thought. “You want me to ask You for the desires of my heart.”

That is how I began the year 2016. I decided to own that Scripture more than I ever had. I got very specific and vulnerable by proclaiming to the Lord, “I want to meet my husband and I want to meet him by the end of this year.” I prayed that my future husband would have the courage to pursue me, that I would have an openness to allow him into my life and heart and that I would have absolute clarity that he was the one God had chosen for me.

Why to be Specific?

I know, it sounds demanding. Let me explain. I got specific in my asking because it seemed there was always a lingering fear polluting my desires. The fear was telling me, “Don’t ask for it. What if you never get it? You will look like a fool.” The asking was a very important part of this process for that very reason.

Asking is a form of belief and that belief is a form of trust in God our Father. I think that is what God really wants when He tells us to ask. He wants us to trust Him wholeheartedly with every piece of our lives, especially the parts that are most important to us.

I had to vulnerably spell out the desires of my heart, in detail without reservation and without creating an escape route for myself. I put a timeframe on it not because God works under our timeframe but so I would have to work hard to let go of my desire for control and put it entirely in His hands, whatever the outcome. I also had to face the fear of not finding a spouse. Asking like this forced me to dive directly into that fear rather than shielding myself from its unknown potential. I had to work hard to suffocate my distorted thought that I was unworthy to be a wife and mother.

At the End of the Deadline

As the months went by I went on a few dates and had some conversation here and there but nothing lasting materialized; nothing with lifelong potential. At the start of the 12th month my hope was dimming as the deadline I had set approached.

December began with a three-day silent retreat where I had plenty of time to wrestle with God in prayer. Each day, I spent an hour with a spiritual director who I already knew and trusted. In discussing my vocation, I explained how I had discerned a call to marriage but had no spouse in view. She mentioned the dating site Catholic Match but I was instantly irritated at the suggestion. It was not as if I was living like a recluse, opposed to dating, and willfully keeping myself from meeting the man I hoped to marry. I was constantly meeting people through sports, work, church, and other friends. Meeting people was not the problem, but meeting the right person was. I began to overheat internally at the sheer suggestion, thinking, “Here we go again …”

After direction I returned to my room and shouted at God a bit, asking Him why He even brought me to the retreat. I pouted, and then I went to blow off steam by going for a jog through the woods. About a half mile into my jog I began to shift my way of thinking. I wondered, “What’s going on inside me? Why is that such a hot button for me? Why am I so opposed to the idea of Catholic Match?” I came to realize that I had succumbed to pride. I pushed forward and duked it out with my pride (as well as a rather embarrassing desire to wallow in self-pity).

A Prerequisite Change

Finally I acquiesced and cried out to God, “FINE! I’ll sign up for the dating site if You want me to but only if You show me, at this retreat, that You do want me to.” I was not graceful at all. In fact I was quite childish, but I had conceded and that set the tone for my retreat. The process of letting go of fear and pride to entrust my life entirely to Him intensified.

Throughout the retreat, I received a lot of healing and restoration about vocation. I really needed to work on retraining my thoughts. Negative thoughts affected the way I chose to live and what I chose to believe about myself. My director pointed me to Habakkuk 2:2-3 and encouraged me to write out my vision for the future.

“Then the Lord answered me and said: write down the vision clearly upon the tablets, so that one can read it readily. For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; If it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late” (Habakkuk 2:2-3).

So I wrote out my vision. I did not overthink it. I just wrote what poured out from my heart. The central theme of my vision revolved around life with my future husband, honoring and loving the Lord. For the next six weeks, I read my vision every morning and every evening. I have heard that it takes six weeks to retrain your thoughts so I used my vision to reshape my mind and heart.

Remember that line from Habakkuk about the vision? “Wait for it. It will surely come. It will not be late.” That reiterated the importance of God’s timing and showed me that He wanted me to claim my vocation. I realized I was afraid to do so. Other girls discussed and planned their wedding details from childhood. I falsely believed I had not pleased God enough so maybe I would never marry.

When Vision begins to Unfold

By the time I left the retreat I was healed from the pride that had hindered me. I put my single status into the hands of the Lord and resolved to sign up for Catholic Match. Since procrastination could kill my resolution I made a profile as soon as I got home. It was not polished or designed to please; it revealed my authentic self. “You can take it or leave it,” I figured. “This is me.”

Less than a month later I began a conversation on Catholic Match with the man who would become my husband. The date was December 27, just four days before the end of 2016—the year I had given the Lord to find me a spouse.

I had asked. I had placed the matter in the hands of the Lord at the expense of my own pride. Then I claimed the outcome I desired—the one I felt the Lord was leading me to all along. I watched my vision begin to unfold as a reality.

I think God tells us to ask so we will be changed in the process. He already knows the desires of our hearts. The key to receiving what we have asked for is to trust in the Lord and grow closer to Him. My pride and fear were getting in my way. I had to become vulnerable and open to asking God for the desires of my heart and accepting His will for my life. Had I not done so, I may never have been open to the means God had chosen to introduce me to my spouse.

Ask with an open heart willing to change and then let the Lord do His work in your life. Ask and you will receive.

“God would not encourage you to pray if He was not willing to give.” —Saint Augustine

In times of sickness and peril, people often turn to God in ardent prayer for a miraculous healing. However, we have also heard that God allows hardships and sickness for a reason and that we ought to pray for the grace to accept His holy will. As a nurse, my days revolve around patients so I have lots of opportunities to pray for the sick and suffering; sometimes my mind is beset by conjectures about why we need to pray for the sick if God has allowed their illness or injury for some good purpose.

All my doubts were dissipated by an experience that happened right in front of my eyes. One day, I was assigned to assist a man in his 30s who had been diagnosed with kidney failure. He was married and having three children. When I got to know him better, this young man disclosed his dire situation. He had not been able to work for the preceding three months so he was desperately worried about being dismissed from his job. Such a scenario would also terminate his insurance. Since he was the sole breadwinner of the family, he was plunged into anxiety and could not sleep. The man was so depressed that he began to have suicidal thoughts.

I wanted to alleviate his anguish so I asked if he believed in God and urged him to trust in His mercy. The man confided that since he had stopped going to church in his childhood, he did not know how to pray. I shared a prayer about trust in God’s mercy—one that had comforted me—and encouraged the young man to read a Bible verse. He asked me to write one out for him, so I jotted down Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you; you have only to keep still.”

As soon as he read it, he asked for more, so I wrote down other verses that seemed relevant for him: “I command you: be strong and steadfast! Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD, your God, is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

A few months later, I encountered this man again. He clasped my hands and began to cry. As he smiled through his tears, he told me how he had printed those Bible quotes in large letters and pasted them all around him. As he repeated them often, he felt more relaxed and began to sleep peacefully. Even though he was still sick he became aware of the many blessings— especially his family—God had given him. Reading the Bible became a great delight.

Dear friends, when we pray for the sick, they may not experience an immediate miracle of healing. Sometimes, emotional and spiritual healing are also needed, for both the person and their family. Our little prayers and sincere efforts to comfort them may enable them to receive the grace and strength needed in those hard times. Do not be discouraged when it seems the answer to your prayers is slow in coming. Those in suffering need our continuing support during their battle with infirmity.