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Here’s a way to let go of your worries…

With each day comes the opportunity to change our mindset and our heart. While I advocate strongly for prayer, in practice it isn’t always my default action. Like so many, I tend to worry rather than pray, letting myself get caught up in ‘what ifs”. Over and over, I need to learn the lesson of changing my mindset, which in turn, changes my heart. Jesus exhorted us not to worry, and so daily I am striving to shift my worries into prayers and thus let them fly away.

Through much of 2021 I saved up to attend a popular Catholic conference. But the costs turned out to be higher than I anticipated. I had been wanting to attend this conference for years and didn’t expect that this would be the year the opportunity would open up. A dear couple who are close friends and have been influential in my life called to tell me they would be attending this year and strongly encouraged me to attend. There was something in how they spoke that told me this was the Holy Spirit nudging me. After that call I knew without a doubt that I needed to attend the conference this year. The thought of attending filled me with joy and expectation.

As the costs related to attending the conference continued to rise, I noticed myself falling into the worry trap. Instead of remembering how God has always provided, I worried about whether I would have the necessary funds in time. 

One day, I was prompted to stop worrying and instead to turn to God, the giver of all good gifts! As the worry turned to prayer, a smile settled onto my face. I remembered that God is faithful, and would make sure I had the finances to attend. “Heavenly Father,” I prayed, “thank You for every opportunity You have given me. Please provide for my needs for the conference. Thank You for always providing for me in Your perfect way.”

Becoming aware of my worries has turned into a light bulb moment. The light goes on and I remember to turn my worries into prayers. My mind eases, and so does my heart. I remember that my Heavenly Father has consistently provided for me in every area of my life. Why wouldn’t he provide for me in this area? Now, I strive daily, in every area of my life, to develop the habit of shifting my worries into prayers and thereby let my worries fly away. 

God provided marvelously and I was able to attend the conference. Though a snowstorm on the morning I was to leave threatened to cancel my flight, God prevailed and I arrived safely and on time. I marveled at the beautiful conference venue and my comfortable hotel room. It turned out that I had saved up more than I needed to cover my expenses! Why had I worried? God the Father did what He always does best and provided for the needs of one of His children. I’m grateful for this experience and for learning once again to turn my mind to God rather than to worry. As we change our thoughts, so we change our lives. As we turn our hearts to God instead of to negativity, we become more like Him. How less anxious would we be, and how more grateful to our Heavenly Father, if we consistently shifted our worries into prayers? How much more peaceful would life be if we let our worries fly away? Thank You, Heavenly Father, that You are only a prayer away!

With over 40 years of experience he had accomplished great feats; but interestingly he found true joy elsewhere

When I was 11 years old, a bad leg injury from a motor vehicle accident led me to choose my career. After multiple reconstructive procedures I began to say, “When I grow up I’m going to be a plastic surgeon.” I feel blessed that I was able to fulfill my dream of mending lives.

When I tell people that I’m a plastic surgeon many are curious about my cosmetic surgeries, but they rarely ask about the reconstructive procedures I perform. The chief difference between the two kinds of surgeries is that most cosmetic surgery is a “want” while reconstructive surgery is a “need”. Surgeries in the “need” category are procedures for maxillofacial trauma, skin cancer, burn care, skin grafts and flaps, complex wounds, hand surgery and others.

However, in third world countries like Mexico and the Dominican Republic, many patients desperately need and want reconstructive surgery. Sadly, either because they don’t have money or because there is no reconstructive surgeon available, their needs go unmet.

To help such patients, I went on medical missions to both countries to volunteer my services with a loving heart. I dealt with two cases there that I would probably never have encountered here in the United States.

The first was a woman so poor that she had never owned a pair of shoes. Therefore, the big black mole on the top of her foot was easy pickings (and peckings!) for her chickens. It typically bled, often became infected and always hurt. She begged me, “Por favor Doctor, quiteme este lunar” (Please Doctor, remove this mole). In less than 30 minutes her problem was resolved. A simple but real medical need. She was so appreciative that she hugged me and thanked me profusely.

The second patient was a 16-year-old boy with a very wide cleft lip that left his prominent front teeth always exposed. He told me there was a girl in school he really liked but he was too ashamed and embarrassed to ask her to be his girlfriend. In about 2 1/2 hours I was able to change his life. When he was coming out of anesthesia, he looked in a mirror and saw a huge smile with no teeth showing. At his follow up visit, I had to ask, “Que dijo la muchacha?” (” What did the girl say?”) He responded with an emphatic, “Dijo que Si!!!” (“She said yes!”)

Like the other seventy or so patients on whom I have operated, these two patients were extremely appreciative. But I also found true joy of my own by mending lives with a loving heart—seeing their smiles, their tears of joy and receiving those warm hugs. My experience frequently reminds me of what Jesus says to His disciples in Matthew 20:28, “the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve”. I thank the Lord for blessing me with skills to mending the lives of those most in need.

Question: Is it true that Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation? What about all those who do not believe in Him, like some of my family members? Can they be saved?

Indeed, Jesus makes some bold claims about who He is. He says that He is “THE way, THE truth, THE life”—not just one way among many or one path to life. He goes on to say that “no one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6).

As Christians, we believe that Jesus Christ alone is the Savior of the world. Anyone who is saved finds salvation in and through Jesus—His death and resurrection, which took away the sins of the world and reconciled us to the Father; and through our faith in Him, which allows us to access His merits and mercy. Salvation is through Jesus alone—not Buddha, not Mohammed, not any other great spiritual leader.

But does this mean that only Christians go to Heaven? That depends on whether or not someone has heard the Gospel. If someone has never heard the Name of Jesus, then they can be saved, since God has placed on every human heart a “capax Dei” (a capacity for God) and natural law (the innate sense of right and wrong written on our hearts). Someone who has never heard the Gospel preached is not culpable for their ignorance of Jesus, and by seeking God as best as they know how and by following natural law, they can be granted the grace of salvation.

But if someone has heard about Jesus and chooses to reject Him, then they have chosen to reject the salvation that He has won for them. Sometimes people choose not to follow Jesus because their family would reject them, or they would have to give up a sinful lifestyle, or their pride does not allow them to acknowledge their need for a Savior. How sad it would be to turn away from the incredible gift of salvation that Christ desires to give each of us!

With that said, we recognize that we cannot judge any individual soul’s salvation. Perhaps someone heard the Gospel but it was distorted; maybe all they know about Jesus comes from The Simpsons and Saturday Night Live; maybe they are scandalized by the bad behavior of Christians and thus are unable to accept Christ. A famous—if possibly apocryphal—story of Gandhi tells of the great Hindu leader’s admiration for Christianity. He loved to read the Gospels and relished the wisdom contained therein. But when he was asked, “Why do you not convert and become Christian, as you evidently believe in Christ?” he famously responded, “Ah, I love your Christ, but you Christians are so unlike Him!” It was the poor example of Christians that prevented this great leader from becoming one himself!

So, to sum up the answer: God, in ways known to Him alone, can save those who have never heard of the Gospel—or perhaps have not heard it preached or lived well. However, those who have heard the Gospel but reject it have turned away from the gift of salvation.

Knowing that souls hang in the balance, we who know the Lord are given the critical task of evangelization! We must pray for our non-believing friends and family members, witness to them with our joy and our love, and be able to give them “reasons for our hope” (1 Peter 3:15). Perhaps our words or our deeds will bring a soul from darkness into the saving light of faith!

Hanna Alice Simon was born blind, yet she sees beyond what most of us see! Here’s a story from her life that’s sure to touch you

Being a very emotional person, I used to become tearful at the silliest of things, until the day, two years ago when I was invited to a church to speak to a group of children. I was happy to have this opportunity to meet them and confidently set out. Little did I know what awaited me.

On my arrival, they took me into the church and I waited for the children to come in after their lunch. Slowly, one by one, they came in and crowded in around me. They talked about how weird I was and some of them called me a ghost. It seemed they had showed me things with their hands, but I didn’t know what was happening. As their cruel words sank in, I felt that I was about to break down and cry. As the tears prickled my eyelids, I began to silently pray, but all I wanted was to run away from that place. I still kept praying in my heart to God, “O God…please…I don’t want to cry in front of them…please help me to be strong…”

My mom who was watching all this told me, “Hannah…this is not the time to cry and although it’s not the time to get angry, you should tell them what they did is wrong. They should not do this to another person. You should tell them this.”

With trepidation, I faced those children who had insulted me and suddenly God put the right words on my lips. I told them, “You might call me weird but I am not. I am special. I am special to God. I am beloved to Him. The next time you see a person who you think is different or weird, go up to him and say to him ‘You are special and I love you for that.’

That day God worked a miracle on me and on that whole crowd of children. After I finished speaking, they all came up to me and those children who had insulted me apologized, but that is not the best part. In the midst of the crowd was another girl, younger than me, who was also differently abled. She came up to me and said, “Even though I have faced a lot of insults at school, what you said today strengthened me. I realized that I am special too.” Then it dawned on me why God had allowed me to face all those insults. My destiny was to give strength to that one person in the crowd who needed it.

In the book of Genesis, chapter 12, verse 2 it says, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will make your name great and you will be a blessing.” So, cast your heartaches and your fears to God. Even if the whole world is against you and there is not even a single person who loves you…even if your day is as dark as night, know that there is a God who cares for you…who loves you more than anything or anybody else in the world. Know that you are wanted by God, you are precious to Him. You are a blessing!

EXCERPT from the talk given by Hanna Alice Simon for the Shalom World program “Triumph”. To watch the episode visit: shalomworld.org/episode/triumph

Struggling to pray when you don’t know how to pray? Read on and you will surely find the key to God’s heart!

Saint Therese of Lisieux once explained that prayer is a “surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward Heaven, it is a cry of recognition and love, embracing both trial and joy.”

Nestled in My Heart

It wasn’t until my husband and I became foster parents that I experienced that “heart surge” in a whole new way, feeling helpless at the prospect of meeting the needs of three frightened, traumatized, and helpless human beings, and feeling woefully under-qualified. They were cute children—a girl, age 4, her brother, age 2-1/2, and their infant sister, just 6 months old.

As we made it through those first few sleepless weeks, we established a pattern that gradually made it possible for me to resume my theology studies, and a couple of times a week, I would slip into the chapel and revel in the quiet. And yet, my mind was in a whirl. By that time it was clear to me that I was in over my head with these three children, each of whom was struggling to adjust to life with us after being taken from their first parents and older brother. And yet I also knew that if I was unable to care for all three of them, it was unlikely that I’d be able to keep any of them—including that beautiful, little, brown-eyed baby girl who had nestled her way into my heart.

Late at night, I would sit in the rocker, snuggle with one of the children and ask God what He wanted from me. By the time we’d had them nearly a year, it was still unclear whether we would be able to adopt them, or they would return to their birth parents. (While reunification is the primary goal of foster care, a significant number of these children never return home.) And so, I looked for the key to God’s heart—on how to pray. It came in the form of a prayer one of my seminary professors had given me by Blessed Charles de Foucauld. Called the “Prayer of Abandonment,” I was sure God had given me a lifeline in that particular prayer which contained the following lines which I repeated over and over.

Whatever You may do, I thank You;

I am ready for all, I accept all.

Let only Your will be done in me,

And in all Your creatures,

I wish no more than this, O Lord.

I found that this posture of abandonment can be a powerful intercessory tool on how to pray when you don’t know how to pray—essentially the key to God’s heart. When we profess our desire to do what God wants—and acknowledge our difficulties in discerning what that will might be—God will guide us each step of the way. This is not a passive “digging in” or spiritual stalemate, but a childlike trust in Jesus who, in the words of one great old hymn, “doeth all things well.”

I have found this to be especially true when it comes to Mary, the spiritual mother of all believers. As a new Catholic, I was reluctant to cultivate my own relationship with Mary because I had always prayed directly to God. But when I was still single, shortly after being confirmed Catholic, a friend gave me a Miraculous Medal and encouraged me to “tell Mary about it” whenever I felt lonely. I had recently relocated and soon found my prayers for companionship answered in an unexpected way. Three weeks in a row, I asked Mary to send someone to sit with me at Mass and three weeks in a row a different stranger stopped by my pew. From that time on, I came to regard Mary as someone who understands my human needs and weaknesses, and who prays for me when I do not have the words to offer God on my own.

Three Prayers when you don’t know how to pray

As my children have grown (we were able to adopt the younger two, while their older sister was adopted by another family) and launched themselves into young adulthood, the kinds of prayers I pray for them have changed… but at times I still feel stumped about how to pray for a particular situation. When that happens, there are three prayers that can turn the key to God’s heart. They help me clear my mind, and invite the Holy Spirit into my heart in a fresh new way:

Lord, thank you

Even on the worst days, God is so generous with us. Acknowledging His generosity and protection—for ourselves and our families—helps us rise above the mundane and the petty and helps us listen to what He wants to tell us. Opening the Psalms and praying along with the Psalmist helps me name the things that are pressing on my heart.

Lord, forgive me

Even on the best days, there are moments when I do not conduct myself with as much grace as a situation requires. Acknowledging our shortcomings makes it easier to forgive others who annoy or hurt us. A friend wisely prays a “Nine Annoying Things Novena” to turn her daily annoyances into opportunities for greater faith.

Lord, help me

It is said that “God does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called.” When God asks us to stretch our faith (or our parenting skills) in new ways, He always grants the wisdom we need to do the job well–if we ask for it. We might be tempted to run ahead and handle it on our own, but if we entrust each task to God, He will show us how to handle them with love.

Imagine having to meet secretly in underground catacombs to celebrate the Eucharist. Such was the plight of Christians in the Third century under the persecution of emperor Diocletian. Imprisonment and even death could be the punishment for anyone discovered to be a Christian.

One day, as the bishop was about to celebrate Holy Mass in one of the catacombs, he received a letter from Christian prisoners requesting he send them the Eucharist. As soon as the Mass was over, the bishop asked who would be willing to carry out this dangerous task. Young Tarcisius—an altar server—stood up and said, “Send me.” The bishop thought the boy was too young, but Tarcisius convinced the bishop that nobody would suspect him precisely because he was just a boy. All the Christians knew of Tarcisius’—a boy with deep love for Jesus in the Eucharist, and so the bishop accepted the boy’s offer.

The Blessed Sacrament was carefully wrapped in linen cloth and placed in a small case which Tarcisius hid within his tunic, just over his heart. On the way, he passed a group of his schoolmates who called to him to join their games, but Tarcisius refused saying he was in a hurry. Seeing that he was holding something close to his breast, they became curious and together tried to pull away his hands.

As they struggled, one of the boys heard him whisper “Jesus” and cried out to the others: “He is a Christian. He is hiding some Christian mystery there.”The boys struck him and kicked him fiercely to make him loosen his grip. When a man passing by heard that the boy was a Christian, he gave a cruel blow that threw him to the ground. Just then a soldier dispersed the attackers, lifted Tarcisius onto his arms and hurried off to a quiet lane.

Tarcisius opened his eyes and recognized the soldier as a Christian whom he had often met in the catacombs.

“I am dying,” he said, “but I have kept my God safe from them.” And he handed his precious treasure to the soldier, who placed it reverently inside his tunic. “Carry Him to the prison for me,” said Tarcisius, and with a gentle sigh he fell back into the soldier’s arms. His little soul was already with God for whom he so willingly had given his life.

Jesus said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Young Tarcisius as a boy martyr of the Eucharist gave his life for the Friend of friends, Jesus the Lord.

Does my trust in God rely heavily on my bank account, property and resources? Or do I really put my trust in God without borders?

A missionary family came to stay with us at the Lord’s Ranch for a time of rest after returning from a mission post in a third-world country. At lunch, one day they shared a wonderful story about the Lord providing. They were living in a very poor neighborhood and people often came to them asking for help. The missionary family received a monthly stipend for their living expenses, and usually by the end of each month finances would be tight. They did not have a refrigerator in the house or even any cupboards, so whatever food they needed for that day they would buy at the market and that’s what they would eat.

One month as they were looking at the budget, they saw that they were down to the bare minimum—hardly enough to eke out some simple meals until the next stipend arrived. And then they heard a knock at the door. A knock at the door usually meant that someone in need was coming to ask for something. The parents told the kids, “Don’t open the door. We don’t have anything to spare.” Mom and Dad knew they hardly had enough to feed their own family. But the kids, horrified, told their parents, “Where’s your faith?!” One of the kids said, “If you trust in yourself, you leave no room for God to do marvels.”

Chagrined and corrected by the response of their children, the parents opened the door. Indeed, it was someone asking for help, and the kids gave away everything they had on hand to a family needier than themselves. “Alright, here we are,” the dad said after he closed the door. “We’re going to be very hungry this week.”

Relating the story to us, he then said, “Oh me of little faith! You should have seen the provision that came flowing in that week! Somebody brought us some rice, another person brought a wheelbarrow full of coconuts, somebody else brought by sugar cane. We also got invited out to eat that week. We were shown yet again the truth of God’s Word, ‘Give and it shall be given to you.’”

He was quoting Luke 6:38 when Jesus tells His disciples, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

When I reflected later on this wonderful testimony, I asked myself, “Where is my trust? Is it in my resources, my bank account, my property? Or is it in God?” I thought of what one of the missionary kids had said, “If you trust in yourself, you leave no room for God to do marvels.” Do I leave any room in my life for God to do marvels? Is my trust without borders?

As we approach the season of Lent, the Church invites us to an increased practice of prayer, fasting and almsgiving. Almsgiving, especially when we give sacrificially and not just out of our surplus, can stretch our hearts and rid us of some of our selfishness. Let us put our trust in God without borders. It can also help us make room in our lives for God to surprise us with His marvelous and bountiful care and provision.

This Lent, let’s prayerfully ask the Lord how we can be more generous with the gifts that He has blessed us with, be it our time, our energy, our smiles—but especially our pocketbooks. As you follow those prayerful nudges to give alms, don’t be surprised when God fulfills His promise in Luke 6:38 of topping whatever we give with “good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over…” As my dad often said to us, “You can never outdo the Lord in generosity!”

Be amazed at what love can do for you!

I have always found great inspiration from reading the lives of the Saints, our friends in Heaven. Recently, I read about the life and teachings of Saint Elizabeth of the Blessed Trinity, a twentieth century Carmelite nun from Dijon in France. At her beatification in 1984, Saint John Paul II said Saint Elizabeth was “a shining witness to the joy of being rooted and founded in love”, (Ephesians 3:17) and that she was “always assured of being loved and being able to love”. She believed her mission in Heaven would be to help people seek a deeper loving union with the Blessed Trinity and inspire us to believe in the love God has for each of us.

The Broken Half

The corona virus pandemic lockdown gave me more time to read about Saint Elizabeth’s life, which in turn has enabled me to reflect on my faith journey, my relationship with God, and my prayer life. Attending a Shalom World online retreat inspired me to rise early and spend time with God, listening to Him speak to me through Sacred Scripture. After an honest look at myself and my faith journey, it became apparent to me that I was holding back from God; what I kept hidden, was what was broken and needed healing. I found warmth and inspiration in the words of Saint Elizabeth “Let yourself be loved”. I needed to start believing in God’s love for me and enter into a deeper, and more meaningful union with the Blessed Trinity.

I remember attending my first Novena at Clonard Monastery—the novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Succour as a teenager. I was not a great student and my grades reflected this, but the year I attended the novena I asked Our Lady to pray that my grades improve. Weeks later, I brought home a glowing report card full of A’s and B’s and was given a prize for success in studies. This experience persuaded me that God the Father hears and answers prayers and that Our Blessed Mother and the Saints are great intercessors.

As I grew older, I attended Mass on Sundays and occasionally said my prayers, but I was drawn to a worldly life and was more curious about what the world had to offer than staying faithful to God. But my choices did not bring me happiness; I was lost and experienced an emptiness I remember to this day. Not until my thirties did I realize I needed God’s help. I had been searching for happiness in all the wrong places. I had nowhere to turn but to my ever-faithful God. This time it was different and I had asked for help: I felt God was telling me He would help me, but I had to change my ways, turn from sin and follow Him.

Treasures of My Faith

Though I thought I had fully surrendered to God by this time, I was still holding back. God was patient and gave me the strength to abandon my old way of life. I began to spend more time in Eucharistic Adoration. I could feel the presence of Our Lord and His love for me. God revealed my sins to me in a loving and gentle way. I felt as if I had been cured from blindness and that finally I could see how I had offended God and I was truly sorry for all my sins. But I learned it takes time to fully abandon myself to His loving will.

God sent special people into my life to accompany and support me on my journey. My parish priests brought an amazing blessing into my life by sending me on a home-study catechesis course at the Maryvale Institute Birmingham. I was able to organize adult Catholic formation courses in my parish and found this opportunity to pass on the treasures of our Catholic faith to be yet another great blessing. During this time of transformation, there was no lack of trials, struggles and discouragements, but I knew God was with me and that I could always rely on Him and Our Blessed Mother for help and consolation.

I can see how Jesus has looked after me, guided and loved me and given me an abundance of blessings in my life, more than I deserve. As I continue my spiritual journey I know I must put my relationship with God above all things and dedicate time to Him in prayer each morning. The more I do this, the more I experience God’s love. I trust God and thank Him for the spiritual insights of Saint Elizabeth—a message meant for me, for you and for each of us: “Let yourself be loved.”

Looking forward to a transforming experience this Lent? Here are 5 steps to stick to your Lenten resolutions!

“Why are Lenten penances like New Year’s resolutions?” joked a friend as we gathered on New Year’s Eve. In a very Australian way we had celebrated with barbecued meats and salad, and a swim in the pool. Now, as we relaxed after dinner, and kept the mosquitoes at bay, our conversation had turned to more philosophical topics.

The answer to her question was this: “You never share them with others unless you want to get caught out!” Certainly, this was a very specifically Catholic joke, but as the old adage goes there is many a true word spoken in jest.

Lent can be a tricky time for us sinners. Like our New Year’s resolutions, we might start out with the best of intentions with regard to our Lenten observances but we often let things slide, or give up altogether.

But Lent is not over yet, and there is still time to recover our Lenten efforts, no matter how dismal they may have been thus far!

1. Be Imperfect

Whilst my friend’s joke was humorous, being “caught out” is not something that we need to be afraid of. God does not mark us on our failures, judging them as we do, marking us deficient and asking us to resubmit. God’s mercy is infinite.

The truth is that there are always a few falls on the road to Calvary—do we not meditate on those of Our Lord in the Stations of the Cross? Sure, His were not falls in the same way as ours, but the sentiment is the same.

God is not expecting our Lenten observances to be offered perfectly. He is using these penances to help us grow in holiness, humility and acceptance of His will for us. He knows that we are not perfect, so He is trying to help us become more perfect, more like Him.

2. Be Accountable

Once we’ve accepted our sinful nature and it’s propensity to imperfection, a useful tool to getting the most out of Lent is to hold ourselves accountable. One of the simplest ways to undertake this is to evaluate our progress at the end of each day through a nightly examen.

A nightly examen is where we put ourselves prayerfully into God’s presence and examine our conscience. We might ask ourselves questions like: Did I keep my Lenten observance today? Did I observe it with a joyful disposition or as an obligation?

Some days the answers to those questions may be less than ideal but that’s where the next step comes in.

3. Be humble

After we have examined our conscience, and our Lenten efforts, we can ask forgiveness from God for our failures to live up to our expectations and resolve, with God’s help, to try again tomorrow.

The important thing to remember here is this: ‘with God’s help’. We aren’t required to puff through Lent on our own steam. Growing in holiness and obedience to God’s will means actually discerning what He wants for us and allowing Him to help us.

Recognizing and accepting that we need His help is often the hardest concept to get our head around. We like to be in control but, if we are serious about sanctity, we need to accept that we’re not in control and trust in God’s plan for us.

4. Be discreet

In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus speaks specifically about the attitude and approach that we should have to fasting and penance:  “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6: 16-18)

The hidden sacrifices are those that often cost us the most—and additionally—bear the most spiritual fruit. If only God can see how much it costs you to drink your coffee without sugar, or refrain from adding salt to your meals, or get up 15 minutes earlier in order to spend more time in prayer, then that is a spiritual win.

Complaining or commiserating with others about how hard our Lent has been undoes much of the good that our sacrifices and penances achieve.

5. Be transformed

In his letter to the Romans, Saint Paul exhorted them, and consequently us, not to conform to this world. His words are the perfect expression of what Lent can be for you, if you approach it resolutely, and endeavor to grow closer to God:

 “I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God —what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12: 1-2)

Now that I was married, I thought I could move ahead as if none of the past things happened and the pain would disappear; but instead I began to struggle with depression and anger…

I was born as the ninth child in a big Irish Catholic family. My mom was truly devout Catholic but my father’s addiction to drinking caused a lot of problems which set me up to be vulnerable. When I was fourteen, I was raped, but when I disclosed it, someone told me, “You should not have let that happen. Now you are a whore”. So, even though it wasn’t true, I believed that about myself. Because I didn’t want to be a whore, I got a boyfriend. Because I’d picked up a false sense of morality from the culture around me, I thought it was okay to have sex as long as I was in a “relationship”.

By the time I was sixteen, we were pregnant. He pressured me to have an abortion so we could finish high school. I was sick, confused, scared but saw it as a problem that needed to be solved. When he took me to an abortion clinic, I was shaking so badly that the nurse gave me valium to calm me down. Then she said, “Don’t worry about it, honey. It’s not a baby. It’s just a clump of cells.” I went completely numb, but the laughter of the abortionist as he exclaimed, “That’s the way I like to get them,” still haunts me. I still feel the tears rolling down my face, saturating the paper sheet I was lying on. 

My first day back at school is embedded in my memory. I was standing in the hallway when a kid came up to me, looked at me with concern and said, “Eileen what’s wrong?” Immediately this wave of denial came over me and I quickly answered, “Nothing, Why?” 

“I don’t know, you look different”.

I was Different! 

My life spiraled downwards. I began to drink and use drugs to keep myself numb and to stay in the same “relationship”. By the time I was eighteen, we were pregnant again and had another abortion. I was so traumatized by the experience that I remember nothing about it—even the location. But my sister and boyfriend remember. I couldn’t deal with that much pain.

We broke up, but I started another “relationship”. If I were to describe my soul then, I would have to say it was in total moral decay, like the culture I had allowed myself to be sucked into.

When I was twenty-three, I was shocked out of my torpor by the worst event of my life. Mom was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. At her funeral, I was transfixed by the incense rising above the casket. It’s a symbol of our prayer rising up to God, but I saw it as Mom’s soul going to be with God. Mom was a faithful woman, so I was sure she would end up in Heaven. I longed to see her again someday, so I wanted to go there too, but my life would have to change. I hit my knees then and cried out to the Lord. I began to go back to church, but a month after Mom died, I found out I was pregnant. I had this overwhelming sense that Mom knew everything now that she was with God.

Unforgotten Pain

I got a job to support my daughter, had her baptized and gave her the love and care I was longing for. The Lord brought a good man into my life, so I prepared for our wedding by making a good Confession of all my sins, including the abortions. When the priest absolved me and told me that “Jesus loves you”, I wasn’t convinced because I felt that I had committed the most unforgivable sin. I was in denial about how much pain I still carried, even though I thought about it every day.

I had this idea that everything would be good now that I was married and we could have the good life together that I had always wanted. I thought I could move forward as if none of the past had ever happened and all the pain would just disappear.

Instead, I began to struggle with depression and anger. I was really struggling with intimacy with people. I felt unable to be myself and be real with them, so I had difficulty making and maintaining friendships. I had a fragmented sense about myself and although I still thought about the babies I had aborted every day, I never talked about them to anyone.

But the Lord hadn’t forgotten me. I made a new friend, Grace who introduced me to Sister Helen, a nun who had the gift of healing.

When she prayed over me, she told me something about myself that she could never have known. That terrified me. Abortion affects women on a lot of different levels and one of its impacts on me was a fear of Jesus. In church I was okay because I imagined Him as somewhere far off in Heaven. This time she said, “Eileen I don’t know what it is, but there is something that Jesus wants you to tell me.” I broke down in tears while I told her about the abortions. “Okay I understand”, she murmured gently. “First I want you to pray about this. Ask Jesus what your children’s names are.”As I prayed, I felt the Lord tell me that I had a little girl named Autumn and a little boy named Kenneth. They were going to be a part of me for all eternity. So, I needed to stop denying them and embrace them. It gave me the permission that I needed to grieve—a pillow soaking, gut wrenching grief.

Cuddled in Her Arms

One day, my husband came home from work early to find me lying in a fetal position on the basement floor engulfed in tears, because I had finally admitted to myself that I had participated in taking the lives of my own children. My husband gently picked me up off the floor and asked, “Honey, What’s wrong?” I was given the grace to finally tell my husband about the abortions. He held me close, whispering, “It’s going to be okay, I still love you”.

When I returned to Sister Helen for more healing prayer, in my mind’s eye, I saw myself sitting on Jesus’ lap with my head pressed to His chest. Then I saw the blessed Mother cuddling my babies in her arms. She brought them to me and I held them close as I told them how much I loved them and how sorry I was. I begged for their forgiveness before I entrusted them back into the Blessed Mother’s loving arms. She promised me they would be with her and Jesus in Heaven for all eternity. Then as Jesus and Mary embraced me again, I heard Jesus say, “I STILL LOVE YOU.”

I had been inspired by people who bore witness to God’s loving mercy, so now I felt called to do the same by telling my story, helping with the Rachel’s Vineyard retreats for women seeking healing from the effects of abortion and becoming a therapist.

Restored to Life

When people ask me, “As a therapist, how do you hold all this trauma when you hear all these people’s stories?” and I tell them that I don’t do it alone. Mary does it with me. I am consecrated to her, so everything I do is for Jesus through Mary. Daily Rosary and daily reception of Our Lord at Mass give me the strength I need. It is there that I meet my children every day because all of Heaven comes down to surround the altar at every Mass.

After more than thirty years, I contacted the father of my aborted children to tell him about my healing and offer that hope to him. He thanked me because it gave him insight into why his life felt so directionless and gave him hope that it could be different. His voice broke as he told me, “Those were the only two kids I ever had.”

ARTICLE is based on the testimony shared by Eileen Craig for the Shalom World program “Mary My Mother”. Eileen is a wife, mother and a licensed counselor. Married for over 34 years, she and her husband live in Michigan and they have three adult children. To watch the episode visit: shalomworld.org/mary-my-mother

We know the Nazis’ wickedness cowed many into silence, but not Blessed Maria Restituta.

Born Helen Kafka, in a family of Czech extraction, she grew up in Vienna. After leaving school at 15, Helen tried her hand at various jobs before settling on a nursing career with the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity.

After several months, Helen asked her parents’ permission to join the order. When they refused, she ran away from home. Ultimately, her parents relented, and so the congregation accepted her. Helen took the name Restituta after an early Christian martyr, and made her final vows in 1918 at age 23. 

The top surgeon in the hospital where she worked was difficult. Nobody wanted to work with him…except Sister Restituta, and within a short time, she was running his operating room. Eventually, she became a world-class surgical nurse. Sister was tough and people called her “Sister Resolute”. Her vocal opposition to the Nazis proved she was also brave.

After Sister Restituta hung a crucifix in every room of her hospital’s new wing, the Nazis ordered them to be taken down. She refused. The crucifixes stayed. But when the Gestapo found anti-Nazi propaganda on her, she was arrested on Ash Wednesday of 1942, and was imprisoned for more than a year. She gave her rations to other prisoners who were starving; it is said that she saved the life of a pregnant woman and her baby.

On March 30, 1943 she approached the guillotine wearing a paper shirt, weighing just half her previous weight, and her last words were, “I have lived for Christ; I want to die for Christ.” Sister Restituta was the only “German” religious living in “Greater Germany” martyred during the Second World War. 

Fearing that Catholic Christians would promote her as a martyr, the Nazis threw her body into a mass grave. In the Basilica of St. Bartholomew on the Tiber in Rome is a chapel dedicated to 20th century martyrs. The crucifix that hung from Blessed Restituta’s belt is kept there as a relic.