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Sep 25, 2016 1544 Christopher Stefanick
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Welcome to the Jungle

Poor wildebeests—the big macs of the savannah. They travel in huge herds, each weighing up to 600 pounds of pure muscle, able to run 40 miles-per-hour and with huge horns. Lucky for the lion, wildebeests have all the self-defense skills of a happy meal. Despite the lack of wildebeest aggression, the lioness knows better than to run into a herd. She could get trampled. So the lioness works hard to cut a young or sick wildebeest from the rest. Then she enjoys her feast.

Incoming college freshman, you are walking away from “the herd” for the first time. The friends that defined you, the parish youth group that supported you, and the parents that put boundaries on you are going to be removed for the first time. Not to sound alarmist, but Saint Peter tells us that your ancient enemy is “prowling like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). You are about to become a prime target and if you are not careful, you just might lose Yourself.

I am not advising that you spend your young adult years locked up in your room. God calls us into the world. But I am advising you to stay alert. A lion’s greatest strength is not in muscle, but stealth. He cannot run very far so he relies on remaining unseen. I am going to point out a few “lions” you might meet over the next four years. When you see one, please run.

Credit cards: When you arrive on campus you will see booths everywhere with nice strangers offering you free t-shirts and candy if you just give them your information. They will draw you in with wonderful words on banners like, “discover,” “instant approval!” (Hey, who does not want that?) and “rewards.” The intent of freshmen is often to use a credit card responsibly and pay it off monthly. But the only way for credit card companies to make real money off of you is if you fail to do so. And they are so sure that you will fail that they invest millions in college students. The University of Tennessee, for instance, was paid $16 million by a credit card company for special access to students. You can count on the fact that they made far more than that back. Accumulating debt before getting a job leads to your ruin and their gain, and I did not have to be a researcher at a credit card company to do that math! Nineteen percent of bankruptcies last year were college students. So when strangers offer you candy, run.

Promiscuity: Twenty-five percent of college students will graduate having been infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Safe sex is available to all of them but it does not work. Condoms are only 85 percent effective against AIDS and 50 percent against a host of other STDs. That is not to mention the emotional, psychological and even financial strain premarital sex brings into a young person’s life—risks people do not subject you to if they really love you. Your parents previously provided curfews and boundaries. Now you have to provide them for yourself. Do not date someone who is not committed to purity. Once you find someone who loves you enough to be with you despite the lack of immediate “return on his investment,” stay out of the wrong situations. Many ask, “How far is too far?” Once the door of your dorm room closes you have gone too far. If you want to stay true to yourself, God and your future spouse, keep the door open. And girls, stay out of dangerous situations—many of which seem like “fun” situations, as in partying with guys you do not know well.

More than 100,000 college students reported being too intoxicated to even know if they consented to sex. More than 13 percent of college women have been sexually assaulted since entering college, most of them after drinking too much or doing drugs. A good time can turn on you fast, leaving you with scarring memories for years to come.

Drugs and alcohol: 150,000 of today’s freshmen will drop out from drugs and alcohol abuse. More than 30 percent have smoked pot, which, despite claims to the contrary, can alter your personality and your path in life. “Fun guy” can turn into “loser” really fast. Find sober friends to party with and be willing to spend a few nights alone if they are hard to find at first. If your character is not strong enough to deal with a night or two alone in your dorm room you might want to reconsider leaving your parents just yet.

Depression and stress: Freshman year of college is the most vulnerable, lonely, and morally unstable time in many people’s lives. The stress of leaving home, taking on a new workload with the new potential of failure, financial stress, and more temptations than you have ever experienced all converge, creating the perfect storm. 1,100 college students commit suicide every year and another 24,000 attempt it. Nearly half of students reported feeling so down at one time or another that they could not function. Remember the old saying: “Your head is like a bad neighborhood. Do not go in there alone.” Recognize the danger of freshman blues and talk to someone if you need to. Do not ever let shame isolate you. And remember to call mom and dad regularly. It can keep you grounded in reality.

I will leave you with this advice: find a new, faith-filled herd. FOCUS missionaries working on our campuses estimates that if they do not find you within 24 hours of your arrival on campus, they will not see you for four years. Everything can depend on the herd you fall into in those first 24 hours. Call campus ministry before you arrive. Tell them you are coming and give them your contact info. Mom and dad, feel free to protect your college investment by doing the same. It might save your child from becoming someone else’s happy meal.

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Christopher Stefanick

Christopher Stefanick (www.RealLifeCatholic.com) is a sought-after speaker to Catholic audiences worldwide. He has authored or co-authored several books, including "Do I Have To Go?," "Raising Pure Teens," and "Absolute Relativism." Stefanick is founder and president of Real Life Catholic, a non-profit organization dedicated to reengaging a generation. He and his wife and parents to six children.

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