The Lesson of Rotting Cabbage

What difference can a single person make in this huge world of disturbing disputes? Stepping out the front door to retrieve the morning paper, I padded to the end of the driveway, bent down, and peered through the plastic bag to scan the headlines. I poured my just-brewed coffee and sat in my favorite recliner to appreciate this pleasant ritual that began my day.  My eyes moved from one headline to the next. I sadly realized that it was becoming increasingly challenging to enjoy what had once been a source of pleasure. Again, I was confronted with the unraveling of what was once agreed upon in our society—civility.  A bit disconcerted after perusing several sections, I turned to Facebook, hoping for some uplifting or humorous posts. I found myself chuckling a few times as I scrolled and was grateful for this distraction. Seeing a more somber post, I appreciated the one who made the effort to alert others to current situations in our country and world, which called for a response. The facts were from a reputable source, and as a person of faith, I was grateful to be more informed as a result of this friend’s concern. After clicking ‘like,’ I happened to see a few comments from others online. This, too, exposed the reality that differences of opinion were no longer just that. Instead, friends were verbally attacking friends, and no effort was being made to be tactful or kind. Agreeing to Disagree Disagreements are to be expected since each person is the product of their own experiences, education, and values. Some respondents were obviously well-read, having studied the issues and coming to conclusions based on their knowledge and a clear understanding of what their faith requires. Others responded emotionally, shooting from the hip with callous attacks on the character of the person who had posted a thoughtful comment.  I was puzzled as to how what had begun as an attempt to call forth compassion had now disintegrated into an ongoing barrage of insults. What’s more, at times, the parties involved didn’t even know each other! I remembered what my father had taught me years ago about what happens when we ‘assume’ something about another. My dad took a pen and put a hyphen after the second ‘s’ in that word and another hyphen between the ‘u’ and ‘me.’ He stated that was what was made out of both parties when one chose to ‘assume’ something about the other.  Might a better response be that of Saint Francis of Assisi in his prayer: “To seek first to understand, rather than to be understood?” How can we do that unless we strive to live the BE-attitudes, where Jesus said we would be blessed (happy!) if we were peacemakers?  It is quite simple, really.  In the words of Pope Francis, the way we make peace is by: “Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue.”  I have the Guideline Book! I laid my phone down and placed my newspaper in the recycling bin. It was time to do what I should have done in the first place: open my Bible. Turning to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, I was reminded of the real source of Truth.  Jesus spoke challenging words to those influenced by the culture of their day. His harshest words were reserved for the religious leaders, whose convictions were so rigid that there was no room left for compassion. The self-righteousness that resulted from their sincere attempts to follow every Jewish law to its letter blinded them to their own hypocrisy. As a result, Jesus spent much of His time with the prostitutes, tax collectors, and others whom society had deemed ‘sinners.’ There, He found authenticity; there was no pretense among those already rejected by society. In connecting with Jesus, those on the margins of society found He somehow understood them, their hearts, excuses, needs, and desires. In time, many came to an awareness that the choices they had been making were not bringing them the peace for which they yearned and, thus were willing to try a new way, the Way of Jesus. My examination of the Scriptures was a reminder that human nature has not changed over the years.  The false pride that the Pharisees and Sadducees held onto only distanced them from hearing the Truth—those who had little to protect, those with little in the way of material goods, status, or power, were the ones open to the transforming power of the Gospel.  To them, it was indeed, ‘Good News!’—the kind the world needed to hear then and most certainly now. Would that tomorrow’s headline one day read: “Christians Found Leading the Way in Loving Their Neighbors as Themselves!?” Smiling to myself, I poured a second cup of coffee while composing my next Facebook post. The song reverberating within me caused me to hum along as its words washed over me: “Let There Be Peace on Earth, and Let It Begin with Me.”

Your problem may be big or small, but this DIY is sure to help you out! I am a daddy’s girl. Growing up, I took pride in being called the ‘Captain’s daughter’ (my father was a police officer). My dad taught me my faith in words and in deeds. He was a daily Mass goer, a Rosary pray-er, and an overall virtuous man. A hard worker, he always provided for his family. He was not only my daddy but also my role model, my #1 fan, and my spiritual advisor. Nonetheless, when I was in trouble, it was my mother that I ran to. Indeed, I would rather my mother ‘catch’ me doing something wrong than my father. Perhaps that’s because I could not stand the thought of disappointing my father. More likely, though, it was because my mother was truly understanding and compassionate. And when I did have to tell my father, I wanted my mother at my side as my intercessor.  Mom’s Love When I experienced a broken heart, I cried in her embrace. Her sympathetic heart broke with mine. My mother knew how to comfort me. She carried me in ways that were different from my father. My dad lifted me up on his shoulders; my mom cradled me close to her heart. It is this relationship with my mother that makes me realize how important it is to stay embraced in the Immaculate Heart of Mary. By virtue of my Baptism, I am, indeed, my Father’s daughter—a princess, as a matter of fact, for I am a child of the King of kings. And just as I hate disappointing my earthly father, I grieve over all the times I have let my Heavenly Father down. Alas, I must often make use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation to seek forgiveness. Approaching my Father to confess my wrongdoings, I ask my Mother to be by my side. After examining my conscience and before entering the confessional, I pray a Hail Mary. I am counting on my Heavenly Mother to intercede on my behalf and to help me use the graces our Lord will send me so I can avoid sin in the future. Like my Father, Mother Mary only wants what is best for me. Whether I have a little problem or a big dilemma, I turn to Mary by praying the Rosary. It is a powerful tool that helps me determine God’s will and then gives me the strength to do it. Sometimes, I pray a whole Rosary for a specific intention. Often, though, each decade has its own little need that I present to Our Lady for her intercession. Saint Therese of Lisieux assures: “In trial or difficulty I have recourse to Mother Mary whose glance alone is enough to dissipate every fear.” Hence, when friends and family ask for my prayers, the Memorare is my go-to prayer. I entrust their cares to our Mother, knowing that she will obtain from Her Son what is best, just as she did at the wedding feast at Cana. My Sweetest Resort In the exhaustion of motherhood, raising nine children, I turn to Mary for inspiration and encouragement. Many Hail Marys are prayed throughout my day! As my children get older, they go off into the world without me–to school, college, on trips, and to start their own lives in their own homes–I ask Our Lady to accompany them when and where I can’t. It gives me peace and a blessed assurance knowing that She will keep an eye on them. At noon, I have my alarm set to remind me to stop and say the Angelus prayer. It doesn’t take long, but it helps me to keep focused. It is kind of like calling your mom in the middle of the day just to say: “Hi!” and let her know that you love her. Loving my Heavenly Mother doesn’t mean I love God any less, just as loving my mother doesn’t mean my affection for my dad diminishes. On the contrary, loving one only increases my love for the other. Love is never divided; it can only be multiplied. Saint Maximillian Kolbe declared: “Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love Her more than Jesus does.” So, run to your Mother. 

All you have to do is trust in Him and wait patiently. I was recently sitting in front of my computer, ready to install a new update. The loading bar appeared, and I thought: How often do we feel like this in our lives? We wait without knowing if things are progressing. Minutes passed, and I became impatient. Should I cancel? But something was holding me back—a faint hope that there was more going on in the background than I could see. And sure enough, suddenly, the bar jumped ahead. Patience Is the Key This little experience opened my eyes—This is exactly what hope feels like. Our lives often resemble a loading beam. We wait for things to clear up, for prayers to be answered, or for hard times to end. But how quickly do we become impatient and want to stop the installation because we think it won't go any further! Hope is the strength to let the process run its course, trusting that something good is being prepared. "You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near.”(James 5:8) In our hectic world, which expects quick solutions, accepting God's seemingly slow pace is challenging. But hope means letting the loading bar continue to run, even if the progress is not visible. God is working in the background, like a system receiving a complex update. Even if the screen remains dark, we can trust that He has everything under control.  Mediator of Hope Mary, the mother of hope, lived a life full of loading beam moments. Her "yes" at the Annunciation set the divine plan in motion, but she had to wait for the birth of Jesus, for His public ministry, and finally for the resurrection after Golgotha. She lived the waiting with a faith that knew that God's plan would unfold, even if she did not fully understand it. This is how she became the mediator of hope for all humanity. She teaches us that hope is the patience to hold on to God's promises, even when the ark seems to stand still. It is not about understanding every detail but about trusting that God is completing good work in us. "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." (Jeremiah 29:11) The question remains: Where is our loading bar? Will you trust that progress will continue, even if it is sometimes invisible? God's update for your life is already in progress! At the end of this process, the fullness of His glory will give you new life. God does not forget us: "Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20) Come, Lord Jesus, and complete Your work in us! Lead us step by step to the goal of your glory!

Do you know how to battle the storm that obstructs your way? We all want control and we all want freedom. We want to be able to grasp the course of our lives. It is easy to fall into the trap of desiring this control we can never have. We cannot go back and change the past, and we cannot direct the future exactly as we please. It is also too easy to reduce this desire to a lack of trust in God or a lack of concern for His own will, but often, we may desire this control because we think it will help us serve God best. We get sucked into a cycle of worry because we are trying to please God. But do we stop to see what He has to say about such a thing?  Tormenting Past As a university student, I find myself too often worrying about doing everything right. I am actively trying to discern God’s will for my life during such a pivotal time (which, of course, is a good thing), but sometimes to the point that I am too worried if I am failing to properly follow His will or if I am seeking to control and direct my life instead of letting God lead. The irony here is clear retrospectively but can be unnoticeable at the moment. I find myself stressing about the past, wishing I could go back and find answers to the problems I both endured and created. The result is a cycle of painful questions–Why did I say that? Why did this person do this? What does it all mean? Did I learn the right lesson? Why did somebody else get something I wanted? I am always trying to find a solution, trying to take back control, trying to figure out what others are doing right that I am not. But sometimes, all we need to do is let go.  Recently, I attended a Sisters of Life* retreat where we learned about imaginative prayer, a spiritual exercise where you use your imagination to place yourself in a scene and let God speak to you. At the same time in my life, I was preparing for training as a sailing instructor, another thing that left me worried as I sought to predict how the course would turn out. Would I succeed? If I didn’t, all my summer plans would be ruined, and I would have no job. What would I do then? What if the other trainees passed and I didn’t? The Bible story my imagination immediately turned to was the story of Jesus calming the storm on the ocean while the disciples were in the boat. I placed myself into the scene.  Sailing through the Storm I vividly saw in my mind the boat I had always grown up sailing, the harbor where I spent countless hours practicing, and I saw the storm I had been caught in my first days sailing all those years ago. When the wind is powerful enough, it fills the sails and tilts the sailboat to its side. The skipper must lean back over the side to flatten the boat or release the mainsheet (the rope used to control the sails), all while continuing to clutch the tiller (steering instrument) and direct the boat with just one hand. Fighting currents and fighting wind, it takes all your strength and willpower as the waves are splashing over the side and the wind whips your eyes, bringing you to tears. Fighting to hold onto everything and prevent the boat from flipping over can become an impossible task.  It was then, in my prayer, that Jesus began to walk across the water toward me. He reached out His hand for me to grasp. If I reached for His hand, I would have to let go of one of the controls I was using to keep my boat moving. I continued to cling to the mainsheet and the tiller, my hands cramping, the wind tearing my eyes and my hair, leaning back so far that my back nearly touched the water in an impossible gymnastic move. He waited for me. I let go of the rope holding the sail and took His hand. It was then that the pressure on the sail from the wind was released. The boat slowed and flattened until it came to a stop and merely bobbed in the waves, sails flapping in the breeze, with no risk of tipping over. Jesus climbed into the boat.  Offer it up Like a patient, loving Father and friend, He directed me when I was ready to take up my course again and keep going now that the pressure and anxiety were released. Sometimes, we don’t have to keep trying to find a solution, fighting to hold everything together, sometimes, all we need to do is let go of the past, our problems and give them to God. Then, we'll just need to take up our course and begin again. After having the time for that prayer, I attended Mass, and the homily confirmed the message placed in my heart. The Gospel was about when Peter asks Jesus what is going to happen to John, and Jesus replies: “What concern is it of yours?” The priest emphasized how Peter’s path was very different from John’s. Jesus not only told Peter not to worry about John but also clarified who he should focus on; He said: "You follow Me.” Peter, of course, went on to be the leader of the Church and now has the most famous basilica in Rome named after him.  The week following the retreat, I had my sailing training and not only passed but also was offered a job opportunity for future summers. What was I so worried about? That, along with the other problems and mistakes of the past that I was clinging to, just needed to be let go of to find peace. This does not mean avoiding dealing with problems at all; rather, it allows us to take a step back before returning to the situation, and often, a solution reveals itself. Sometimes, it does mean letting go of problems we cannot solve, like questions about the past or the future. Jesus wants to bear our burdens with us. When we place our trust in Him and leave our worries at the foot of the Cross, solutions are inevitable.  *Sisters of Life, based in North America, is a Catholic religious community that follows Augustinian rule and promotes pro-life.