Engage

We live in difficult times as Catholics. Quite possibly it has always been this way. The culture sends messages to us that are very harmful to our spiritual life. If we have become blind to this truth, it is likely that we are pursuing success as defined by the secular world instead of pursuing the holiness God has called us to live.

Here is how the world measures success:

◗ Is my physical appearance attractive?

◗ Are my clothes stylish and sexy?

◗ Do I eat at the finest restaurants?

◗ How much money do I make and how large is my savings?

◗ Do I have the finest house and the latest luxury car?

◗ Am I powerful at work, home and among my friends?

◗ Are my children enrolled in the finest schools so that they, also, can achieve worldly success?

God provides a different measure:

◗ Do I love God with every fiber of my body and soul?

◗ Is my love of God manifested in my love of neighbor?

◗ Do I care enough about the spiritual and material needs of others to do something to help them?

◗ Am I dependable … can others count on me?

◗ Am I a person of integrity and honor … can others trust and believe me?

◗ Am I kind and compassionate?

◗ Am I humble and selfless or am I prideful and jealous?

◗ Do I do good things and avoid evil?

There is a stark warning in the Epistle of James that reminds us that to follow the way of the world—pursuing material wealth without regard to our obligation to love God and serve our neighbors—leads to our destruction (cf. James 5:1-6).

Jesus reminds us in Mark’s Gospel that pride can even slip in when we are trying to serve Him. We sometimes try to prevent others from doing what is good as if it somehow detracts from our own efforts (cf. Mark 9:38-41). He speaks forcefully about the necessity to avoid occasions of sin:

“If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed than with two hands to go into Gehenna, into the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life crippled than with two feet to be thrown into Gehenna. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. Better for you to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into Gehenna, where ‘their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched’” (Mark 9:43-48).

Practical Advice for Avoiding Sin and Pursuing Holiness

God desires only good things for us. He has created each of us out of His goodness to enjoy His eternal beatitude in this life and the life to come. It is important for us to know which measurement drives our behavior and actions. If we do not examine how we live and what motivates our behavior, we will quite likely drift further from God’s plan for us. Here are some simple and highly effective steps to help us see ourselves as God see us and to take corrective action to deepen our conversion away from sin and toward God.

1. Make time for prayer throughout the day.

2. Incorporate an Examen (examination of conscience) into your bedtime prayers.

3. Begin your Examen by praising God and giving thanks for His goodness. Ask God to grant you the grace to be wise and open to what He desires to reveal to you.

4. Identify the ways in which God has blessed you since your last Examen.

5. Identify the times and occasions since your last Examen where you have followed God’s will for your life. Identify those times and occasions where you have failed, through commission and omission, to follow God’s will.

6. Identify recurring patterns of behavior. Where you have done well, seek more such occasions to live in virtue. Where you have sinned, seek to modify or avoid such occasions.

7. Make an Act of Contrition. Resolve to sin no more. Ask God to grant you the grace and strength to surrender to the Lord.

In doing so, we will build up a storehouse of riches for the life to come. Jesus has promised that He will not forget the smallest of our good acts done for love of Him: “Anyone who gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ, amen, I say to you, will surely not lose his reward.”

A Powerful Example from a Simple Saint

Quite likely, Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus offers us the most powerful, yet simple, example to follow. At the Lisieux Carmel, there was a nun who was particularly irritating to Thérèse and, as would be the case with most of us, she found great difficulty in being charitable when this nun would appear. Where possible, we are to avoid occasions of sin, but there was no way for Thérèse to avoid this nun, nor could she in good conscience anyway. During her Daily Examen, she realized she had to change the dynamics of her encounters with this nun. She resolved to always and immediately treat this nun as if Thérèse loved her best of all, whenever they met. Such a simple and kind act and it bore fruit beyond imagining— both women grew in charity and holiness.

When we do nothing about our spiritual life, sin becomes the easy thing to follow. But, when we begin in humility to replace sinful acts with virtuous acts, we find that holiness is far more satisfying than sin.

This is a lesson all of the saints show us; each learned it by following the example of Jesus who gave His life for them, and for each of us, accepting death on the cross. As we approach the altar to receive our Lord at Holy Communion at Holy Mass, we might reflect on these simple truths and ask Him to help us avoid sin by striving to live according to His measure and not the world’s.

How often do we run through the motions of life, unaware of who we are and what God is trying to convey to us? Saint Catherine urges us to become who God created us to be. As we become, we will set the world on fire. For many years, I had been going through the motions of life, just taking care of responsibilities. Then God intervened.

An Ordinary Day

I was putting on my tie, getting ready for work. It was an ordinary work day. I was a mortgage manager at a bank. I made a good enough living to provide for my wife and four young children. We lived in a comfortable home in a well-planned neighborhood. We belonged to a good church with a large community of friends. At first glance, life was good.

Something happened on this particular day that I did not expect. While looking into the mirror, my eyes began to leak. Yes, that is right, this 6’4” 250-pound ex-football player began to cry. It was not the first time, nor would it be the last. This was not my normal daily routine while preparing to go to work. I was caught by surprise.

The Heart Speaks Up at Odd Times

My heart was trying to convey something that my mind was unable to comprehend. “What is going on?” I asked myself. “Why are tears flowing down my face at a time like this?” I did not have time for this, I had to get to work. So, like many previous days, I pushed these feelings aside and went to work.

Lion in the Ocean?

A few days later, Glenn, who worked for me, randomly offered: “Bart, you are like a lion in the ocean.” “What?” I questioned, “Lions don’t belong in the ocean!” Glenn shrugged his shoulders and quipped, “Yep,” then walked off.

This stayed with me for days: “Lions don’t belong in the ocean!” Something deep within my heart was being stirred, but I did not know what it was. I offered up this quick prayer: “What are you saying to me, Lord?”

Beginning of the End

A few months later, the mortgage industry took a nose dive. Perhaps you may have heard about the financial crisis of 2008. In the early 2000s, the mortgage industry achieved its best years ever. Within about seven years, the industry was at its worst. Those happened to be the seven years I was in the industry. I was a firsthand witness to the industry’s best and worst years. Fortunately, I was not part of the problem, but I certainly was among those who were deeply impacted by its collapse.

I hung on as long as I could, fighting to adequately provide for my young family, yet my dissatisfaction grew with each passing day. The grace that had carried me for the previous six and a half years had run out. I grew deeply discontent. I found myself longing to find a vocation that was more suited to my desires. Glenn’s words resonated deeply within my heart: I felt like a “lion in the ocean,” longing to find the “safari” for which my heart yearned.

A Way Out

I desperately wanted out, but I could not see a way. Where was I going to find a job that offered me this much opportunity? I felt like I was the lion Glenn spoke of, stuck swimming in an endless ocean of despair. I saw no way out.

Within a few months, a representative from human resources showed up at my desk with a box. My time in this ocean had come to a sudden end. I had no idea how I would provide for my family, yet I felt an unusual peace and grace in this time of difficult transition. I had renewed hope of things to come. I was eager to find my safari.

It was not an easy transition by any stretch of the imagination. I went without work for far too long. We had to sell our house and my family went through some very difficult times. Yet, at the end of this crooked road, there was a safari awaiting me.

I Found My “Safari”

For many years, I had longed to do ministry, yet opportunities would come and go and financial responsibilities increased as my family grew. For nearly seven years I put on a suit and tie and pushed aside my passions in order to provide for my family. That season had come to an abrupt end.

My heart finally caught up to me. The tears that leaked out that day where my heart’s way of saying, “Hey, remember me?” My heart was crying out in hopes of discovering my safari.

Be You

We were all created for a unique purpose. A lion does not belong to the ocean any more than a shark belongs to land. Everything is created to be who and what it was created to be.

We will not thrive outside of being what we were meant to be: a baseball was not created to be a light bulb any more than a light bulb was created to be a baseball. Each is created to be what it was meant to be. A light bulb would make for a terrible baseball yet walk into any dark room and turn on the light switch. Are you not glad someone did not put a baseball in the lamp? We find great comfort in knowing that a light bulb is in its intended spot. It was created to fill the room with light. So are we.

Launched into Fulfillment

While the circumstances were far from ideal, this closure in the mortgage business served as a catalyst to launch me into what God had for me next.

Since this time, I have stumbled upon my heart’s passion. I now work full time doing what I love. I travel the country doing conferences and retreats with my brother, seeing countless lives transformed before our eyes as the Father encounters the hearts of His people with His love and presence.

It was a tough swim in those choppy ocean waters, but today I am enjoying life in the safari.

Where is Your “Safari”?

Perhaps you are wondering where your safari is. If so, ask the One who created you. He will direct your steps.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).

What about the journey on the way to our safari? Is it wasted? Was my time in the mortgage business a mistake? Not at all, it was God’s tool to do a deeper work within my heart and prepare me for days to come. It also served as a means to provide for my growing family. God promises to work all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). God used every bit of that season to prepare me for this one. There was grace for that season, yet when the time for change had come, the grace dried up. It was time to seek the next season.

Every step of the way prepares us for God’s greater purposes.

Know the Times and Seasons

There are times when God will open doors and there are times when He will close them. There are even times when He will dry certain things up in order to redirect our steps.

The key I have found is to take the time to listen; it makes things so much easier when we hear the voice of God within our heart (instead of human resources showing up with a box).

Time to Hear from the Heart

What do we do when God is stirring our hearts for a change? Will we listen?

What does the Church say about the Heart?

According to the “Catechism of the Catholic Church” (“CCC”) 2563, the heart is the dwelling place where I am, where I live; According to the “Catechism of the Catholic Church,” the heart is the dwelling place where I am, where I live; according to the Semitic or Biblical expression, the heart is the place “to which I withdraw” (2563). The heart is our hidden center, beyond the grasp of our reason and of others; only the spirit of God can fathom the human heart and know it fully. The heart is the place of decision, deeper than our psychic drives. It is the place of truth, where we choose life or death. It is the place of encounter because, as an image of God, we live in relation: it is the place of covenant.

Time of Silence

There are times when God will call us aside so He can speak to us in silence:

“contemplative prayer is silence, the “symbol of the world to come” or “silent love.” Words in this kind of prayer are not speeches; they are like kindling that feeds the fire of love. In this silence, unbearable to the “outer” man, the Father speaks to us His incarnate Word, who suffered, died and rose; in this silence the Spirit of adoption enables us to share in the prayer of Jesus. (“CCC” 2717). Time for Adventure Perhaps I am not the only one stuck swimming in an ocean of despair. Remember, lions do not belong in the ocean. They were created for a wild adventure in the safari. So were we. A Greater Lion We are not alone. Revelation 5:5 states, “Then one of the elders said to me, ‘Weep not; lo, the lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered …’”

On a late winter’s evening, my mother left her body like a discarded nightgown on an unmade bed. I was sitting by the window when I received the news, and as I looked out into the inner garden, my heart grieved that she would never again see the loveliness of the light as morning pushed into noon. The thought made me realize it was she who had first taught me the importance of beholding beauty and considering life a gift of infinite value.

This loss led me to revisit the death of my own child, years before, and prompted me to begin to make peace with my abortion decision. Despite the passage of time, I was still grieving, vulnerable to remorse and shame. Obviously, I had not agreed with my mother’s sentiments when I chose to terminate the life of my unborn child. Instead, I considered such a personal decision should be entirely based on my own needs. As I confronted the memories that lay hidden beneath a veneer of excuses, I exposed a level of sorrow that at times was almost beyond bearing. After struggling with my guilt for years, I knew if I wanted to experience healing, it was time to make amends.

In addition to public appearances, I focused on praying for the needs of children threatened by abortion. They became my spiritual children; they had no idea that a stranger had been helping chart their lives even before their birth. Some mothers have asked for prayers and when they share the outcome—sometimes with a child in tow—I am overwhelmed. I see it as God working through me and changing what was a most grievous mistake into a miracle. This side of heaven, I will never know who the beneficiaries of my transgression have been, but I do know that in His infinite mercy, God is able to overcome even our gravest offenses.

Whenever I witnessed in front of an abortion center or spoke at a pro-life gathering, I would again experience profound sorrow over my decision. This was to be expected. As God explained, I had destroyed someone who belonged to Him, a person of infinite value whom He had entrusted to my maternal care. Instead of nurturing baby Zachary, I had him dismembered. Knowing the details of gestational development, now I realize how horrific was the pain I had inflicted on my child. It is not surprising that rectifying this injustice and making restitution would cost me a good measure of pain and anguish.

Wanting to support me in my abortion recovery, the Lord eventually led me on a spiritual pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. This particular journey is famous for stripping away layers of accumulated habits and reducing life to its essentials in order to experience a deep inner cleansing. The pilgrimage was not so much a physical trek as it was an interior journey into the pain of my abortion experience. Before I could embrace God, I needed to make atonement for the lethal harm I had inflicted and the self-justifications by which I tried to excuse myself. Only after that could I find comfort in His forgiving embrace.

I thought the Camino had cured me, that I had put to rest the ghosts of my past, my guilt and sorrow. While it did much to restore my spiritual health, I apparently needed to visit Lourdes, a famous pilgrimage site, for one last healing. I was to immerse myself in its famous healing waters so I could reemerge, symbolically reborn. The thousands of cures recorded in Lourdes were a profound testimony to the power of Jesus at work, and just as He had healed the paralytic in biblical times, he healed me. I was confident at last that my transgressions had truly been forgiven.

However, just so I would not think my work was over now that I felt spiritually restored, I was invited to walk the Way of the Cross in Jerusalem and unite my daily trials with His suffering, for the sake of my neighbor— those countless men and women who were struggling with heavy burdens of their own. The last few paces brought me to the tomb of Christ and, before entering, I prayed that He would continue to be present in my life and direct my footsteps according to His will. At that time, I sensed no particular need—I was basking in the healing I had received in Lourdes—but something quite remarkable did happen. In emerging from the tomb, I sensed I was leaving behind all the accumulated transgressions of my past.

My life had been restored by His grace and if I remained faithful there was a promise that extraordinary things would come my way. Since that experience many years ago, my spiritual journey has indeed reflected a change, and my life has been truly transformed by the Grace of God.

Let us face it. This journey can sometimes feel lonely—this Christian life journey.

As Catholics, we are told that if we walk with God, obey His Word and Commandments, and follow the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, we will enjoy a close relationship with Him that we desire. But definitely it is not always easy. Especially when you are living in a world that is well, “worldly”. This is the world where Christian virtue is quickly becoming the minority and the most important “values” are inclusive acceptance, and not offending others. This is a world where old time-honored principles and traditions are often mocked and made fun of. I cannot say how many times I have received odd looks, or even glares when I have (quietly and to myself) said grace before eating meals in the presence of strangers. I even have a friend who told me that he was once accused of saying grace just for show and as a way to make others think he is better than those around him. Really?

During Lent when I am fasting, it has been insinuated to me that I am of being too “legalistic” or too strict with myself—and perhaps I should “lighten up” a bit.

Sure, it is annoying, but that is just a small stuff.

Recently a news journalist called out Vice President Mike Pence, saying that he must have a “mental illness” because he listens to Jesus. The journalist was quoted as saying, “It is one thing to talk to Jesus. It is another thing when Jesus talks to you… that is called mental illness,” These types of perceptions about Christians are growing.

For some time now, I have mostly lost interest in reading or posting in my personal Facebook account because it is full of anti- Christian and anti-God news articles and comments. What used to be a place to catch up with friends and family, has in large part become a place of negativity.

In the past I have read comments about how some people are annoyed and sometimes even angry because others have offered their prayers in times of hardship or tragedy. I have read comments from people saying that prayers are worthless or even insulting. And my question is—where does it stop? And will it? Will people be bullied into completely hiding their faith out of fear of offending or rousing anger in others? Will people often be forced into accepting things that we know to be wrong because our shifting world tells us we should think otherwise?

Will human respect win the day?

In times like these, perhaps it is more important than ever that we hold strong to our faith. To cherish the journey that comes with our faith. And never turn back from it. You only need one reason to never give up or compromise your faith—Christ gave it all for you.

It all comes back to the cross. Christ gave all that He had for us. He denied Himself and became man to save us. And with His crucifixion Christ did not hesitate to go all the way, despite the immense pain and suffering. And why? Solely for our salvation. He would have done it for even just one of us if He had to.

The Bible tells us that He will finish the good work that He started in you (Philippians 1:6).

You might fail again and again, and at times you might even think that you have no hope, but you are wrong if you think that Christ will just give up on you because you are not perfect.

Yes, you are not perfect, but He will not stop. And He will walk right beside you in the journey. Christ is the author and finisher of our faith. It began in Him, continues in and through Him, and will be brought to completion by Him. Do not give up … because He will not give up. (Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5).

So, if Christ will never give up on us, how can we ever give up on Him? And giving up on Him does not only mean denouncing your faith. Giving up on Him is also simply compromising what we know to be true—all that scripture, faith and tradition have told us to be true. We humans often have a sad tendency to take good things and distort them. Consider human respect, for example. God’s good plan for us has always been for us to honor, value and respect one another. In our fallen world, though, where every virtue gets distorted into a corresponding vice, too often we twist that into pursuing others’ respect, and putting their opinions ahead of our reverence for God and our duties toward Him.

Frequently this pursuit shows up in the form of fear: fear of not fitting in, or of being criticized for thinking or acting differently from other people, especially when it comes to practicing our faith. It is a matter of fearing man more than God; being more concerned with what other people think of us, than what God thinks and expects of us. This unholy fear often causes us to make bad decisions to avoid upsetting others, or being looked down upon by them. Ultimately—we care too much about what others might think of us. And when you live in a world where everything must be accepted, you may one day find yourself suddenly standing for nothing. Because it is very difficult to make a stance about anything, when “everything goes”.

If you know that your faith in God and your corresponding beliefs and actions are real and sincere, then you never have to worry about offending others. To put it simply, it is their issue, not yours. Stop worrying about what other people think about you. Whatever story they have made up about you is not your true story. And no matter what, stand your ground in the One Person where hope will always be found. Because no matter what you face, this we know in time–He will take all that is wrong and make it right.

Guard and cherish your faith always. And remember that one of the best ways to make sure you never lose your faith … is to share it with others.

This is your journey.

What is the difference between drifting along and letting God do His will in your life? I have not really pursued many of my life goals because I love God and I want to please Him by doing what He wants me to do in my life. Should I be living this way? Is this a wrong approach to goals in life and doing God’s will?

One thing that it sounds like you are getting absolutely right is the concept of “God’s will in all things.” It is vitally important for us to understand a couple of key things with regard to God’s will. The first is this: not everything that happens is the result of “God’s plan.” Sometimes, when tragedy strikes, or a person experiences suffering, or a loved one dies, a well-meaning (but erroneous) person will say, “This was part of God’s plan.” Again, this is not necessarily true in all senses.

In creating a world outside of Himself, God put certain “laws” in place. He created physics and chemistry and the material world which operates according to the way He created it. But one consequence of this is that not everything that happens in this world is a result of God’s having directly willed it. Because of this, we have to realize that God does not “cause” all things to happen. In addition, human beings (and angels and demons) have free will and can choose things that are clearly contrary to God’s will.

We need to understand the difference between God’s “perfect will” and God’s “permissive will.” God’s perfect will is when God directly wills a thing to happen or not happen. This is always immediately and ultimately for the good. God’s permissive will is when God allows a thing to happen. This is not necessarily an immediate good. In fact, God often allows evil things to happen. He does this for a couple reasons (that we know of). First, God allows evil things to happen in order to preserve the gift of free will that He has given us. Second, God allows evil because He knows He can bring about a greater good. At this point, it is important to note that God does not cause evil to bring about a good (that would be evil and impossible for an all-good God to do). Rather, God allows something to happen that is contrary to His will because He knows He can use this for an even greater good.

If this is true, then it follows that we can trustingly submit to everything that happens to us as falling under “God’s will.” Either it is a good that He directly willed or it is an evil He allowed to happen, through which He can bring about a good. For this reason, your having “let things in life happen to you” is not entirely a bad thing at all! In fact, many people would be greatly blessed if they began seeing the events of their day as falling under God’s will more often!

Yet, while we are able to say “yes” to God at any moment because of the fact that He is present in all things and either wills perfectly or permissively all things that are … we can also discern direction and goals.

There was a kind of error in some Christian circles sometimes called “quietism” or “fatalism.” The idea there is that we ought not take any action ourselves, but just sit and wait for something to happen to us. The attraction in this posture is that we will never make the wrong decision (because we are not making ANY decisions), but the truth is that not to decide is to decide.

At the same time, the decision to “be open” to God’s will is a decision! The decision to choose to accept all things as they come as a gift from God is in no way harmful, negative or a bad idea. I believe this decision should come from a place of trust and intentionality and not merely because a person is afraid to choose the wrong thing or does not like making decisions.

There is also something very “God-honoring” in the process of making goals. Part of that is rooted in the way God has created us. He made us to have an intellect and reason. Because of this, we have the ability to discern the good in all of its complexity and to choose one road out of many. We can often choose any number of options and this is good. Part of conforming our will to God’s will is the beautifully complex process of making choices. We get to “co-operate” with God, not merely as passive receivers but as active participants.

With this in mind, you could take a step and make a decision. This decision could be toward or away from a relationship. It could be to discern a religious community or have a conversation with your pastor about being a consecrated single. In each of these cases, you would be walking with God, using the gifts He has given you and learning even more clearly how to hear His voice. Even more, in this process you would be required to listen to God’s voice along the way and learn when He is calling you to persevere, when to adjust your direction or when to stop and go back. Think of how this dynamic interaction would bring an even greater closeness between you and the Lord!

Deep within each one of us there is a hunger and a thirst. We all experience this yearning of the soul—a heart that burns with longing—but we do not always recognize for what we yearn. We can spend years trying to satisfy this yearning, yet never be satisfied.

Saint Augustine expresses this reality so beautifully, “Thou move us to delight in praising Thee; for Thou formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in Thee.” He included this prayer at the beginning of his spiritual autobiography, “Confessions.” Its placement emphasizes the importance of this discovery by Saint Augustine in his life after years of searching in all the wrong places.

Saint Augustine was not always a saint. He spent a portion of his life, maybe like you and me, in pursuit of what he incorrectly thought would satisfy his hunger and thirst. We all know the story of his mother, Saint Monica, who spent many long years praying for her son–a son who refused to submit to God and the Catholic faith, a son who lived with a woman who bore him a son out of wedlock. Such is the love of a mother for her child. In grief, compassion and concern for her son, Saint Monica never failed to pray with urgency, persistence, faithfulness and hope for her son to come to faith.

Saint Augustine gives us a glimpse into what was taking place in his life during those years:

“Late have I loved You, O Beauty of ancient days, yet ever new! Late have I loved You! And behold, You were within me, yet I was outside, and there I searched for You; deformed, I plunged amid those fair forms which You had made. You were with me, but I was not with You. Those beautiful creations held me far from You, which, unless they were in You, were not at all.“You called and cried out to me; overcoming my deafness. You shone upon me and set aside my blindness. You breathed fragrance upon me and I drew in breath and panted for You. I tasted, now I hunger and thirst for You. You touched me and I burned for Your peace.”

Here he speaks of the burning deep within his heart and recognizes that it was God he sought all along. But in his deformity, he sought for those pleasures and beauties of creation instead of the Creator—and so his hunger was not then satisfied.

Reflect a moment on this. How many times have we made the same mistake? Have we sought to satisfy our hunger with material pleasures and riches, even good things, failing to see that our yearning is for God who alone can satisfy our deepest desire? Very likely, just like Saint Augustine, we have had a mother who prayed for us, beseeching the good God to open our hearts to Him.

In the end, the breaking open of the Scriptures by Saint Ambrose of Milan and the good Saint Monica’s prayers touched Augustine’s heart and opened the door for Christ to rush in.

God’s Call, Our Response

We are called by God to a life of faith and holiness. Each one of us will have to give an account to God for how we responded. In my diaconal ministry, I encounter many people who are in search of meaning for their lives; they are in search of the God who called them into existence. By the time I meet them, they may have acknowledged in some vague way that it is God they seek, but where will they look and how will they find Him? A few have the wisdom to ask in humility, “Why do I feel this way?”

One of the greatest truth about “Man’s Search for God” is that it is truly God who first searches for him. The “Catechism of the Catholic Church” (“CCC”) 2567 explains, “God calls man first. Man may forget his Creator or hide far from his face; he may run after idols or accuse the deity of having abandoned him; yet the living and true God tirelessly calls each person to that mysterious encounter known as prayer. In prayer, the faithful God’s initiative of love always comes first; our own first step is always a response.”

Saint John of the Cross explains this first movement of God toward us in “Living Flame of Love.”

“In the first place, if a soul is seeking after God, the Beloved is seeking it much more; if it sends after Him its loving desires, which are sweet as a pillar of smoke of aromatical spices, of myrrh and frankincense, He, on His part, sends forth the odor of His ointments, which draw the soul and make it run after Him.” (From the “Works of Saint John of the Cross,” translated by David Lewis; Living Flame of Love, Stanza III).

This is so reassuring. We do not have to travel far to find God. He is beside us always, calling us to Him by His grace.

A few years ago, I met a man while running the trails in a nearby park. I had paused beside a pond, deep in a valley, to pray my mid-afternoon prayers. I had just taken out my breviary when Sam approached. I had noticed that he was standing a short distance away. Assuming that he was taking a break, I returned to my prayer. When I had concluded and made the closing sign of the cross, Sam came and stood by me. Apologizing for disturbing me, he asked if I was a priest or something. I smiled and silently November/December 2018 Shalom tidings 7 prayed a Hail Mary for help and said, “I am a Catholic deacon, Deacon Mike, can I help you?”

For the next hour, Sam and I sat beside the pond and talked, cried a little and prayed together. He was a life-long Catholic and a husband and father. He loved his family very much, but something was missing. As it turned out, Sam and his family had not truly welcomed God into their home. Both Sam and his family were restless and he did not know why. His wife took the kids to Mass, but he did not go very often. He could not totally keep from thinking of his faith and his God.

I shared with Sam that our meeting was not an accident … nor was his restlessness. Many of us, at times, choose to ignore God and go our own way—yet God never ignores us and He never ceases to call us to Himself. These words made a positive impact on Sam, thanks be to God. When we parted, he was at peace and resolved to ask both God and his family to forgive him.

I am certain that God orchestrated the encounter that day. I was following the example of a good friend when I decided to take my breviary with me that day. Sam had no idea why he had decided to visit the park that day. It was the sight of me praying from that book that arrested Sam’s attention. We laughed as Sam recalled a memory of seeing a priest back home pray from a book “just like yours” while he walked in a park. Even my quick prayer to Mary was an actual grace prompted by God.

The Gift of Faith

Faith is God’s gift to us. Our thoughts turn to God because God Himself has placed that thought in our heart. As Saint John of the Cross would say, it is not our doing at all—this thought we have of God, it is His work, His loving call to us. We were made by love for love. The invitation from God that first turns our mind and heart to Him and prepares us for conversion is a prevenient grace and is not conditioned upon our holiness or our works. It is a gift from the Father who created us and desires all good things for us.

But God’s invitation requires our response. We are free to say yes or no. I pray to God that one day each one of us will respond with our own fiat. When we believe and are baptized, then we are infused with the three theological virtues—faith, hope and charity—that make us members of His family, the Church and enable us to live a life pleasing to the Father.

“Faith is the theological virtue by which we believe in God and believe all that He has said and revealed to us, and that Holy Church proposes for our belief, because He is truth itself. By faith ‘man freely commits his entire self to God.’ For this reason, the believer seeks to know and do God’s will.” [“CCC” 1814]

There are many different ways in which we come to faith. For many of us, it was within the family that we were first introduced to the faith, where we first encountered the risen Lord and came to believe. For others, it might have been a friend or even a stranger who God placed in our life to be a witness to His love. In all cases, it is the grace of God that moves us to Him if we will say yes.

So great a gift must be treasured and nurtured. We begin our life of faith as spiritual children. Conversion does not end there. Through the practice of the virtues (particularly humility), prayer and participating in the sacramental life, each of us is called to a mature faith of prayer and holiness.

Lord Jesus, I believe in You, increase my faith.

I was so sorry to hear that my boyhood hero recently died. His name was Roger Bannister or Sir Roger Bannister as he later became known. I had seen him run several times, but sadly I was not present to see him break the record by becoming the first man to run a mile in less than four minutes. When I did see the event on the news I was thrilled to see him fall into the arms of his coach Franz Stampfl as he broke the tape. Stampfl was one of the world’s leading athletic coaches of the twentieth century. He was simply a genius who trained more than 360 Olympians. He was my coach as well—our sports master invited him to be our athletic coach. It was from him that I learned far more than mere athletics. Although I did not realize it at the time, what I learned from him would help me immensely later in my spiritual life.

TRUE CHRISTIANS ARE LIKE ATHLETES

Saint Paul likens Christians to athletes who spend their time building up their spiritual muscles through daily exercise just as athletes spend their time building up their physical muscles. That is why the word asceticism comes from the Greek word for athlete. There can be no successful Christian life without an ascetical life. What I learned from Stampfl would be of immense value in my future. The first thing I learned from him was that if something is really important to you, you will find the time for it. If you do not, or you cannot, it just means that despite what you may say it is of no consequence to you. He used to say that if you are unwilling to find the consistent and daily time for athletics then please do not waste his time because you are going nowhere. I can understand someone saying that athletics or sports are of no consequence to them, but how can a human being say that love and loving is of no consequence to him? Life without love is not only purposeless, it is dry, drab, boring, colorless and ultimately worthless. If love is offered to you everything else must take second place or you will miss out on the most important thing in life. That is what is offered to anyone who wants to take their spiritual life seriously.

LIFE IS FOR LOVE NOT RUGBY FOOTBALL

When I was a young man, my cousin James told me that his girlfriend suddenly dropped him. It seemed she did not love him anymore. When I tried to discover the reasons why, I found that all his Saturdays were taken up with playing rugby and his Sundays recovering from his efforts. For the same reason, he liked to take Monday evening off, sitting in front of the television. On Wednesdays, he went to the gym to start getting back into shape again and on Thursday evening he liked to treat himself to a night at the cinema. Apparently, she rarely came because she did not like westerns or war films! Friday night was taken up with pre-match training and of course Saturday was match day. Although she sometimes came to watch him, she rarely saw him for long in the evenings because he was usually detained in the bar with his mates, especially after away games. That only left Tuesday night and one night a week is simply not enough.

If someone loves you and you genuinely love them, then you must have time together to give and receive what is more important than anything else on earth. It is the same with the love of God. Without daily quality time for God in prayer, we simply cannot receive the only love that can permanently change us for the better. My cousin saw the error of his ways and he has been happily married for fifty years. God is loving us continually, but if we do not find time for the prayer where we learn how to receive His love then we will get nowhere—nowhere, that is, that really matters.

CHRISTIANITY IS FIRST A MYSTICISM NOT A MORALISM

The spiritual life seems to have become so complicated over the years that you almost feel like you need a couple of degrees in theology just to understand it, much less attempt to live it! Yet, it is essentially simple, so simple that you need the simplicity of a little child to see it. There is only one thing that is necessary and that is love. Not our love of God, but His love of us. In other words, Christianity is first a mysticism not a moralism. It is not primarily concerned with detailing the perfect moral behavior we see embodied in Christ’s life and then trying to copy it, virtue by virtue in our lives. That is stoicism, not Christianity, and it is doomed to failure. Christianity is primarily concerned with teaching us how to turn and open ourselves to receive the same Holy Spirit who filled Jesus. The more we are filled with His love then the easier it is to return that love in kind, as the divine suffuses and then surcharges human love so that it can reach up to God and out to others. Then and only then are we able to love God with our whole hearts, minds, and whole beings and to love our neighbor as Christ loves us.

READ FORWARD AND NOT BACKWARD

The trouble is that we make the same mistake with Christ’s life as we do with the saints. We read their lives backward. We read about their rigorous ascetism, their superhuman sacrifices and their heroic virtues and believe that the only way we can be like them is to do likewise. If we would read their lives forward instead of backward then we would see that they were only capable of doing the seemingly impossible because they first received the power to do it in prayer. If we try to be and do what they did without first receiving what they received in prayer, then our brave attempts will inevitably end in disaster. True imitation of Christ or any of His saints means copying the way they did all in their power to receive the Holy Spirit who inspired and strengthened them with His love, to do what is impossible without it. That is essentially all we have to do. That is why the spiritual life is so simple, if only we had the simplicity of a little child to see it.

ASCETICISM MADE EASY

Ascetism for a beginner is quite simple: do not give up anything you like or enjoy except when it prevents you from giving quality space and time to God in prayer each day. If you think it is so easy then try it and stick to it. You will soon find it is not quite as easy as you thought. Do not let first enthusiasm fool you into heroics you will never sustain. When you have persevered for long enough you will gradually begin to receive and then experience the love that will enable you to do what is quite impossible without it. When one falls in love and begins to experience being loved there is nothing one would not do or any sacrifice one would not make for his lover. In fact, one positively looks for things to do, the harder and the more exacting the better, to enable him to show the real quality of his love. What was impossible to a self-centered egotist only a short time before becomes not only easier but also his/her greatest pleasure.

It is exactly the same in the spiritual life. The exemplary behavior, the extraordinary self-discipline and the heroic sacrifices made by a person who begins to experience the love of God are not the result of an arrogant stoic trying to make himself perfect. They are the actions of someone desperate to express his love in behavior that could not be maintained for long without the love that sustains it. All the little pleasures and pastimes that were thought indispensable before suddenly become dispensable, with the greatest of ease.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Virtues that were noticeable by their absence before are born of the love in which they are contained and communicated to those open to receive them. This happens when the love of God strikes a human heart. It strikes it as a simple ray of light strikes a prism. Then, just as that light is diffused and transformed into all the colors of the rainbow, the love of God is diffused and transformed into all the virtues and gifts that are needed to live and love as Christ Himself did. This happens automatically as the love of God suffuses our own imperfect love, making it possible for us to love God in return, along with the neighbor in need, in all we say and do. In short, first seek God and His kingdom, which is love, and everything else you want or desire will be given to you.

“I, Joey, take you Brigid, as my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you until one of us becomes unhappy.” Wait. What?! As funny as it sounds, the sad truth is that some people leave their spouse because they become unhappy.

Undoubtedly, there are numerous causes of divorce. I would like to focus on one problem I believe is underneath many marriages that split: consciously or not, we expect our spouse and marriage to make us perfectly happy. In “Three to Get Married,” Venerable Fulton J Sheen wrote: “In all human love it must be realized that every man promises a woman, and every woman promises a man, that which only God alone can give, namely, perfect happiness. One of the reasons why so many marriages are shipwrecked is because as the young couple leaves the altar, they fail to realize that human feelings wain and the enthusiasm of the honeymoon is not the same as the more solid happiness of enduring human love … In the first moments of human love, one does not see the little hidden deformities which later on appear.”

In his fatherly way, Saint John Paul II often tried to shatter the illusion in young people that marriage will only bring endless romance and happiness. He knew if we make an idol out of anything, it will eventually leave us empty. Only God can satisfy the ache in our hearts for perfect love and happiness. Yet we often look to another person for the love that only God can give us.

IF NOT HAPPINESS, WHAT ’S THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE?

“Marriage does not exist to make you happy; marriage exists to make you holy,” said Jason Evert. In other words, marriage exists to make you a saint; to transform you into the best version of yourself and draw you closer to God. Of course, marriage also exists for the procreation and education of children. Simply put, it means being open to life, parenting well, and helping your children become saints. (See “Catechism of the Catholic Church,” 1601).

God is love. The central mission of our lives is to perfectly reflect His image. Therefore, the more authentically we love, the more we become like God and, consequently, the more we become ourselves. However, to love like God does, it is necessary to deny ourselves and choose what is best for those we love. That will inevitably lead to suffering. Jesus on the cross is the perfect example. Saint Clare of Assisi knew this when she said, “Love that cannot suffer is not worthy of that name.”

When the struggles come, do not become discouraged. Rely on God’s grace via the Sacraments. Ask Our Lady for assistance. Find a good spiritual director to guide you. Remember: You were made for greatness. Did you think it would come easy? Nothing worth having comes easy. No Olympic athlete ever won gold by watching Netflix or quitting when sacrifice was required. He or she endured gruelling training just to win a piece of metal. Why should you expect any less sacrifice if you want a great marriage?

Does that mean marriage will be miserable? No! Marriage will be wonderful and difficult, joyful and frustrating, beautiful and challenging, just like life. The real measure of a successful marriage is not how happy the couple feels but rather how virtuous and holy each spouse becomes.

As you discern and head toward marriage, here are five ideas to purify your idea of marriage.
1. Make God the center of your life and ask Him to purify your idea of marriage.
2. Remember: Marriage does not exist to make you happy; it exists to make you a saint and holiness is the path to authentic joy.
3. Set realistic expectations for marriage by spending time with good families and holy couples.
4. Unhappiness in your marriage is not a sign that you chose the wrong vocation, married the wrong person, or that you should leave your spouse.
5. Do not despair. Even amid struggles, a great marriage is possible with God’s grace and your hard work.

I know that we have all heard stories in the Bible when God speaks to His people. Sometimes we are not sure how that was manifested: a feeling, a message spoken through someone, a voice booming down from the sky. Almost every month I come across at least one person—a friend, an enlightened blogger, a televangelist—who uses the term “God spoke to me,” “God spoke to me and told me you need to sign over your yacht, that vessel is keeping your soul in the devil’s grip!”

I sometimes wonder how God actually spoke to them. I have experienced many ways in which God is very clearly leading me, directing my path, and speaking to my heart in a way that just somehow perfectly answers the questions before me; it is usually a moment of true wisdom and understanding. He has also spoken to me through someone completely oblivious to my predicament, 22 Shalom tidings September/October 2018 someone who says exactly what my soul needed to hear at that moment.

One time, I literally heard God speak to me. I heard His voice. No, I do not need to seek out a psychiatrist. It was ten years ago. I was changing my two-year-old son, Christian’s, diaper. My older son was three years old, my daughter was one, I had recently miscarried my fourth and was newly pregnant with my fifth little one.

As I peeled back Christian’s diaper, I gasped. There was blood. I checked for lesions and soon realized the bleeding was coming from something internal. He had also developed a fever, so I was worried about a possible infection. I took him to a medical clinic and they sent us to the emergency room (ER). An ultrasound revealed he had a tumor on his right kidney. They were quite certain it was what is called a Wilm’s tumor: cancer.

The tumor and his kidney would have to be surgically removed. He also had a blood infection—unrelated to the cancer and the source of the fever—and they could not operate until that was resolved. For two weeks I lived at Sick Kids with my son. My two other little ones were being cared for by various family members. It was so painful every time they would call to inform me that the toddlers were not adjusting well to my absence and, yet, I knew Christian needed me more. He was terrified by every poke and prod, so confused by everything that was happening to him.

One day, my mother-law called to say that my one-year-old was very sick. She was not able to keep anything down and had been lethargic for days. She would need to go to the ER. My husband dropped her off to me and I sat holding her in the waiting room. I was so worried about her. Already small for her age, she looked especially fragile. When it was my turn to speak with the attendant, he began to ask me a bunch of questions about my daughter: “When did the fevers begin? How much had she been drinking? How long had she been lethargic?” Every question was painful for me, as I mustered out a feeble “I’m not sure. I haven’t been with her.” Then I fell to pieces, stammering, “My son has cancer. He’s up on the eighth floor right now recovering from surgery. I haven’t been there for my little girl. I’m so sorry but I can’t answer your questions.” I could hardly get the words out as tears streamed down my face.

Up until that point, I had been so strong. I had not even cried and I had resided in a state of calm and trust, feeling that somehow everything was going to be okay. Suddenly, the reality, the magnitude of all I was facing was hitting me full on. The world seemed to drop out from beneath my feet. I thought of my baby girl, my sick little boy, my other baby boy at home who was feeling completely abandoned by his mother and I felt like the biggest failure. The world was pressing down on me. I was too weak to stand and kept thinking that if I could not handle this how would I be able to care for the little one still growing in my womb. I could not take the oppressive, crushing weight of it all. I could not breathe.

Then, all at once, it was lifted. Everything was taken up off my shoulders and I felt like I was being carried, enveloped, and inexplicably wrapped in peace. That is when I heard the voice. I heard it as though it was being spoken aloud. It was clear and powerful. I felt each word resonating in my heart. I knew no one else could hear it. I knew it was from within but it was real, almost more real than anything I had ever experienced.

He said, “See this is how it would be if I were not carrying you.” I breathed in His graces and once more I was calm, serene, and unafraid. From that point on I seemed able to meet each demand with grace. My daughter soon recovered from her illness, I was able to return home to my three-year-old son and, after six months of chemotherapy, Christian was completely cancer free (he is a healthy twelve-year-old now). I gave birth to my daughter, Mary, a month after his last dose of chemo.

I know that God almost never speaks to us with a clear, audible voice. He does not usually work that way. I was already madly in love with Him, I had already placed my life in His hands, but much of it stemmed from the gift of faith. Everything up to that point was simply a sense of His presence, a continuous knowing that He was with me and a state of amazement, time and time again, as I experienced personal miracles and direct answers to my prayers. Faith is such a precious gift given to His children and I never needed a physical voice to confirm the reality of who He is: a loving Father who desires to work for our good, for love of us. He left a profound mark on my heart that day.

I wanted to share this story because so many people close to me are really hurting, finding it hard to surface, drowning in life’s trials. I wanted to share His message that if we place our lives in His hands, He will lift us up, pulling us out of the suffocating anguish.

He may let us experience a taste of it, a moment (or sadly a period of greater duration) where we are overcome by distress. It should only serve to help us understand how greatly we need Him, how lost we would be if it were not for His great love for us, and His desire to draw us back up into His arms. This message is not some crazy, religious platitude. He has remained constant and faithful throughout the ages, His voice ever clear, cutting through the chaos.

Two primary factors that keep people from seeking help for pornography addiction are guilt and shame. While they often act together, they are two very different emotions. Guilt focuses on the behavior while shame focuses on the person. Both need to be resolved for a healthy recovery.

GUILT

Guilt is an emotion that focuses on actions. It is the emotion that says, “Okay, you’ve done something wrong and now you have to correct it, fix it, or clean it up.” As uncomfortable as this emotion may be, it is actually very healthy. It requires a person to take responsibility for his actions and atone for them. To do this, one must embrace the virtues of honesty, humility, responsibility, courage, faith, hope, and love. Taking responsibility for one’s addiction and recovery can be very healing for individuals and for relationships. It shows that you understand how wrong your actions were and that you are taking positive steps to end your pornography use. This resolves your guilt and can reunite you with loved ones. The same effect happens in our relationship with God. When we sin, it damages our relationship with God. Here is where God uses guilt to bring us back to Him. To be reconciled with God, we must admit our sins, take responsibility for them and confess them. In many cases our penance can be to make amends for our sins. By confessing your sexual sins and doing penance, you resolve your guilt and are reunited with God.

Addressing guilt is also an important part of the twelve steps of recovery. Steps four through ten state that we:

4. made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves;
5. admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs;
6. were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character;
7. humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings;
8. made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all;
9. made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others; and
10. continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

While it can be difficult to take responsibility for an addiction, doing so actually strengthens a person. It takes the addiction out of the darkness and brings it into the light. This can diminish much of its power over you. While some people may be hurt and angry with you for a while, most will forgive. In the end they will respect you for admitting your guilt and resolving it.

Guilt can help you address your addiction while still affirming your value as a person and as a child of God.

SHAME

Shame is the emotion that focuses on the person. It is the emotion that says, “You did something wrong and because of it you are a bad person. You need to hide so that no one will ever know how bad you really are.” This is not of God.

Ultimately, this is a tool of satan to keep a person trapped in his addiction. It fuels the five faulty core beliefs by which many addicted people live:

1. I am unworthy of being loved.
2. If people really knew me, they would reject me.
3. I cannot count on anyone, including God, to meet my needs.
4. I must find something I can control that will meet my needs.
5. Pornography/sex is my greatest need and source of comfort.

Shame can result from sinful acts you have committed, such as viewing pornography. It can also develop out of sinful acts committed against you. For example, a person who was abused as a child might feel responsible for it and develop a deep sense of shame as a result. Both sources of shame can lead a person into addiction.

Regardless of where your shame came from, it is important to know that your worth as a person is not determined by your actions or the actions of others.

When God created you He instilled in you an infinite worth that no one can diminish. It does not matter what kinds of sexual sins you have committed or how often you have committed them, you are still a good person. There is no need to hide. God still loves you. He is always ready to take you back and cleanse you from your sin.

As you take responsibility for your addiction, you will find many people who still love you regardless of what you have done. Letting go of shame can be very difficult for many addicted people. If shame is a major stumbling block for you, I recommend you consult with a therapist and/or a priest. They can help you let go of your shame and bring your addiction out into the light so that you can overcome it!

EMBRACING YOUR TRUE IDENTITY

It is important for all people who are addicted to pornography to understand that you are not defined by your addiction. Guilt and shame are proof of that! Guilt focuses on the action, not the person.

By addressing your guilt and making amends you actually strengthen your ability to recover from your addiction. Others will also respect you for your work in recovery. Shame is not of God and thus does not define who you are.

No matter what your addiction has led you to do, God still sees you as His beloved child. This is how you also need to view yourself!

It is 4:00 am. I had gone to bed only a few hours earlier, setting the alarm for 6:30 am. An exhausting day of packing our household goods into boxes awaited me in the morning. After a short while of fighting the sheets and glancing at the clock every few minutes, I realized I would not be getting any more sleep that night. The best I could hope for was to doze on and off until the alarm finally broke my misery.

I struggle with insomnia and have been fighting a discouraging and losing battle with it for years. I dislike using sleep medication yet unless I take something at night I would not get more than a few hours of rest.

That night, with such an intense day facing me, my frustration grew with each passing quarter hour. I found myself focusing my annoyance—now that I think back, it was anger—at, of all people, God. “Lord, if You don’t put me back to sleep,” I threatened (yes, that was what I was doing), “If You don’t put me back to sleep, I’m not going to read Scripture or pray when I finally get out of bed.” I was like a two-year-old having a temper tantrum.

Most who know me well think that I am a spiritually mature Christian who knows Jesus on an intimate level. I pray and read Scripture each morning and evening. I teach a weekly Bible study and write an evangelistic blog encouraging others to walk more closely with Christ. I have written three books about the love of Jesus and how to love Him in return. I receive the Holy Eucharist each week at Mass and I try to live according to Biblical principles.

But there I was at four in the morning, frustrated and angry with God—and actually threatening Him that if He did not answer my prayer and let me fall back asleep— well, I would just show Him a thing or two! My confession to you embarrasses me.

When I finally crawled out of bed at 5:30 am, I went into the other room, plopped myself down on the couch, and opened my Bible. I had been reading two chapters each morning for nearly four decades and I was not going to stop now, even if I was angry with God.

I should have expected what happened next. Before I got two verses into Genesis 25, I started feeling guilty about what I had said to God a few hours earlier. Really guilty. Who do I think I am to rail at God for any reason, especially because He did not answer my prayers about going back to sleep?

To compound my sudden sense of shame, the Holy Spirit reminded me of at least a dozen scriptures I had memorized, scriptures that spoke directly to my accusation against God, such as Psalm 44:17-18: “All this has come upon us, but we have not forgotten You, And we have not dealt falsely with Your covenant. Our heart has not turned back, and our steps have not deviated from Your way.”

Then Habakkuk 3:17-18: “Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.”

It is, as I wrote a few paragraphs earlier, embarrassing to admit to you what I consider my significant failure. I have a wider point to make.

Two days later, as I periodically rehearsed my temper tantrum and lingering guilt, the Holy Spirit reminded me of, of all people, Saint Peter’s failure as recorded by Saint Paul. You can find it in chapter two of Paul’s letter to the Galatians. Saint Peter, the first earthly head of the Church, played the hypocrite when faced with the choice of pleasing Christ or pleasing his Jewish friends. In this case, Peter chose poorly. Whereas he used to pal around with the Gentile converts, when James and the other Jewish apostles visited town, Peter “held himself aloof” from the Gentiles because he was afraid of what the Apostles would say. So great was his hypocrisy that even Barnabas—a man known for his benevolence—was swayed to choose as poorly as did Peter.

What is my point? I have two. First, as well as you or I might know the Lord, as close to Him as we might be, sin is always crouching at our door and we must be ever alert if we are to master it. Second, and I think more important, the Lord Jesus assures us in Saint John’s Gospel that the Father loves you and me as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23). It is important that I say it again—the Father loves you and me as much as He loves Jesus. That means when I, or you or anyone who is a child of God through faith in Christ’s blood atonement, gets frustrated with God—and even when I get angry with Him— He loves me as much as He loves Jesus.

When you sin, He nevertheless loves you just as much as He loves Jesus. Remorse for our sins is a good thing, a necessary thing. Remorse should lead us to confession and confession always cleanses away the dirt. Perhaps the Psalmist said it best when he wrote:

“The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness … He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

“Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust” (Psalm 103:8-14).

Prayer: Oh God, help us ever remember Your compassion toward us, even though we angrily accuse You. Help us remember to leave our guilt and remorse in the confessional and get back to doing the work You have called us to do. Amen.