Engage

Disconnected from God, wallowing in despair…yet in the dark void of my life, ‘someone’ unexpectedly reached out to me. 

Three miscarriages in a row…Each one of those losses, emotionally more and more difficult, medically more complicated, and the recovery process more and more drawn out. After the third, I found myself in this incredibly dark season of deep depression. 

I was so angry at the Lord for allowing these trials to happen in my life. Why would He let this happen to a good Catholic who has been trying to do all the right things? 

I gave the Lord the silent treatment for about 18 months. We continued to be dutiful Catholics—going through the motions, continuing to go to Mass, saying our prayers before meals…just checking the boxes. But in my heart, I wasn’t praying at all, except for this one honest prayer I repeated at heart: “I belong to You. I don’t like what You’re doing, and I don’t understand any of this, but the only thing worse than what I am feeling right now would be to be completely without the hope of Heaven, without the hope of ever seeing the little ones that I lost…” So, I made this bargain with God: “If I keep doing the right things, You should hold up Your end of the bargain; at the end of my life, You’ll let me into Heaven, to see the little ones that I lost.”

But I was spiraling down. Disconnected from God, I was no longer a good mother or a good friend. My small business had to be shut down because I couldn’t keep up with life’s demands anymore. Through this void, someone reached out to me, an unexpected ‘someone!’

Yelling at God

The Rosary used to be a daily prayer through high school and early college, but once I got married and the kids started coming, I put the rosary up on a shelf and thought: “That’s a prayer for people who have a lot of time and I certainly have none; so maybe later, when I get a little older, I’ll take it back down off the shelf.” But in the deep darkness, I began feeling a call back to praying the Rosary. It felt totally ridiculous because I was still very very angry at the Lord, and I had no desire to pray. With four little kids, I didn’t have the time. So, I kept pushing it off and out of my mind, but the Lord began to get more and more persistent. 

I’d unexpectedly find cues in the most unlikely places—a rosary I’d never seen before turned up in my locked car, my toddler handed me my confirmation rosary that I hadn’t seen in years, random people who weren’t even Catholic would just give me rosaries (like this time when someone gave me as rosary and said: “I was cleaning out my grandma’s desk and I thought you would want this”).

I got to the point where I could no longer deny what the Lord was asking of me. For the first time in 18 months, I said a prayer. A more honest expression would be, I yelled at God; it was this very snarky prayer. I marched into the church, straight up to the altar, and flopped down all my excuses—I couldn’t find the time to pray the Rosary, most times I couldn’t even find any of my rosaries, and if I do manage to find time AND find the rosaries, my kids would keep interrupting me, I had trouble picking up where I left off…not to mention, my kids would have probably already broken all the rosaries that I have! I didn’t even wait for a response from the Lord, I just spun on my heel and marched out of the church, feeling: “See, I told you, it’s ridiculous to pray the Rosary.” 

Nothing Better Than This

Within a week of that, I was inspired to design a rosary bracelet which literally solved every single one of those excuses that I had given. It’s always right on hand so I never forget to pray, it’s super-sturdy so my kids can’t break it, but the really life-changing, revolutionary part was the movable crucifix charm that works like a little bookmark which enabled me to pick up from where I left off. I’d pray in the quiet moments that were hidden through my day. In between taking care of the kids, doing chores, and running errands, I could always find a minute here or 10 minutes there to get a couple Hail Marys or sometimes even a whole decade in. 

Little by little, throughout the day, I began to get an entire Rosary in. I was still very angry and broken and did not have a lot of hope that the Rosary would fix it all, but I was just so tired that I knew this couldn’t hurt. I was desperate—there was nothing better to do, so I felt I might as well try this. 

Healing didn’t just happen. It wasn’t a tele-evangelist healing moment where the skies just parted and glory came down. It was this very slow journey, the same way we pray the Rosary, bead by bead, step by step, prayer by prayer. Little by little, Our Lady began to really be a mother to me. What I began to see in that darkness was not the Mary that I grew up seeing—the Nazareth Mary or Christmas-card, 20-something-Mary with flawless skin. Instead, I found Mary at Calvary, a tear-streaked, blood-stained, road-weary mother who knew what it was like to suffer and lose someone that she dearly loved. This woman, I could relate to! This mother, I so badly needed in this season of my life. 

Afterall, she wasn’t the one I was angry at. But she, as my mother, ever so gentle, came into this raw and broken place I was in and walked me slowly out into the arms of my Heavenly Father. But that was just one part; there was another part of my life that was still in chaos. 

A Conversation Ensues

The third miscarriage had been physically and emotionally too difficult; since it was the second trimester, we had to go to the hospital, go through labor, and deliver our son. 

From there, my husband and I took different paths of grief. I shut down and withdrew, and he poured himself into work, drinking, and overindulging in a lot of ways. Our relationship became fractured. 

When I began praying the Rosary and started on my road of healing, I tried to encourage him as well, but he pushed it off. I slowly opened the shop back up, put the rosary bracelet that the Lord inspired into the shop and that began to really take off. I kept asking him to join me; I gave him a rosary bracelet that he began to wear, but he wasn’t praying with it. That was when I began very intentionally to pray my Rosary every day, for him. 

I would intentionally use those quiet moments to pray and let my family see that I was praying amid and between my chores. My husband began to see not only this but also the change in me. Slowly, he gave in and our whole family began to experience this reconversion through Our Lady. But you see, that was not the happy ending.

An Embrace Follows

In came another miscarriage! The same hospital room, the same nurse…I’d ask Him: “Lord what are you doing? Why are you adding salt to the wound by replaying the most horrible day of my life?” 

This was deeper and worse than before because I was also living through the trauma of some of those other losses. But in spite of this, I began to slowly see through that incredibly awful day in so many ways. As I was laboring and delivering, I was totally overwhelmed with grief and helplessly sobbing. But this time, instead of feeling completely alone, I felt the physical presence of Our Lady holding me like a mother would as I was crying. In the most painful part of labor, I felt Our Lady physically hand me over to God the Father and put me in His arms like His child. I felt, in that moment, God the Father sobbing along with me. I felt His chest heaving along with mine.

I am not exactly ‘there’ yet. In some ways, I’m still on this healing journey, with this wound and all the anger that I carried…Our Lady came in as my mother to help heal my relationship with Our Father. For her to show His heart to me was just this incredibly healing and restorative process. A day which would have been one of the worst days of my life, because of her goodness and gentleness, became a healing day for us in a way that I never could have imagined.

Life can be unpredictable yet God never fails to surprise you.

Almost three years ago, I wrote an *article for this very magazine in the midst of grieving the loss of our baby. My husband and I had been married for nearly two years and had been praying for a baby the whole time. There was so much excitement and joy when we found out that I was pregnant that we never could have anticipated the forthcoming loss in miscarriage. 

We were right there in the thick of it, being challenged to trust God and His mysterious plans. To be honest, I didn’t want to trust in a plan that resulted in grief, and I didn’t want to hope in a God who would permit it either. I wanted our baby in my arms. But my husband and I did choose the difficult path of trusting God and His Providence, that all of the pain and suffering could and would still be used for good. We chose hope for our baby in Heaven and hope for our future here on Earth.

Above All

Countless times in my life, the 11th verse of Jeremiah 29 has anchored me deeply. This time, however, He led me to focus on what follows. Those words have been seared into my heart and convinced me of God’s abiding providence. “When you call Me and come and pray to Me, I will listen to you. When you look for Me, you will find Me. Yes, when you seek Me with all your heart, I will let you find Me, and I will change your lot…”

Our loving Father was calling me closer when I really didn’t feel like drawing closer. Call, Come, Pray, Look, Find, Seek, He said. He asks me (and you)—in the ache of our hearts when we are tempted to believe that the hurt we are experiencing is all there really is for us—to choose Him, to draw closer to Him. Then, when we have sought Him out, He promises to let us find Him and to change our lot. He isn’t ambivalent about it; He uses the phrase ‘I will’ three times. He doesn’t say maybe, He is matter of fact.

A Double Blessing

Although it has been three years since our miscarriage, I was recently reminded of how this promise of Jeremiah 29 has manifested itself in my life and how God has absolutely changed my lot in terms of motherhood. He has made me and my husband witnesses, and the way in which He so lovingly answers prayers should not be forgotten or glossed over. Not long ago, I received an email from a kindred spirit and friend. After holding me in prayer that morning, she wrote: “God did recompense…Here you are, celebrating the Mercy and Love of God with a double blessing! Praise God!” 

Our hope and desire to trust in God’s plans and to seek Him has changed our lot and transformed into the biggest ‘double blessing of recompense’ we could have dreamt of—two beautiful baby girls. It’s been three years since my husband and I walked through the loss of our first baby, and nothing could ever replace that little one, but God did not leave us barren. 

In August 2021, we were blessed with the delivery of our first baby girl, and this past August, we saw the blessing of our second baby girl. A double blessing, indeed! We are living out God’s faithfulness through our hope transformed! We are witnesses to God’s unfathomable mercy and love. We have become co-creators with the Creator, and through our hope in His faithfulness, He has changed our lot, indeed.

I am in awe of the wonders God does and encourage you to bolster up your hope in the Lord as well. Hold fast to a hope that transforms, seek Him with all your heart, and watch Him change your lot just as He promises.

As my friend told me that day: “Let us always bless the Lord who has been so gracious to us.” 

When Andrea Acutis arranged a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, he thought that his son would be excited. Carlo was keen on going to daily Mass and reciting his prayers, so his reply came as a surprise: “I prefer to stay in Milan … Since Jesus remains with us always, in the Consecrated Host, what need is there to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to visit the places where He lived 2000 years ago? Instead, tabernacles ought to be visited with the same devotion!” Andrea was struck by this great devotion that his son cherished for the Eucharist.

Carlo was born in 1991, the year the World Wide Web was invented. The little genius walked when he was just four months old, and started reading and writing at the age of three. The world would’ve looked at his intellect and dreamt of a bright future but the Divine had different plans. Combining his love for the Eucharist and technology, he left the world a great legacy of a record of Eucharistic miracles from across the world. He began the collection in 2002 when he was just 11 years old and completed it a year before he succumbed to leukemia. This young computer geek, at such a young age, even built a website (carloacutis.com), a lasting record, with all the collected information.

The Eucharistic exhibition he pioneered was held in five continents. Ever since, many miracles have been reported. On his website, he has written the lasting mission of his life on Earth: “The more Eucharist we receive, the more we will become like Jesus, so that on this Earth, we will have a foretaste of Heaven.”

This Italian teenage designer and computer whiz is soon to become Saint Carlo Acutis. Widely known as the first millennial patron of the internet, Blessed Carlo continues to draw millions of youngsters to the love of Jesus in the Eucharist.

A gift that you can access from anywhere in the world, and guess what? It’s free not just for you but for everyone!

Imagine that you are lost in a deep pit of darkness and hopelessly groping around. Suddenly, you see a great light and someone reaching out to rescue you. What a relief! The overwhelming peace and joy can’t be fully expressed in words. The Samaritan woman felt like this when she met Jesus at the well. He told her: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you: ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” (John 4:10) As soon as she heard these words, the woman realized that she had been waiting her whole life for this. “Give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty,” she implored: (John 4:15) It was only then, in response to her request and thirst for knowledge of the Messiah, that Jesus revealed Himself to her: “I am He, the One who is speaking to you.” (John 4:26)

He is the living water that quenches every thirst—the thirst for acceptance, the thirst for understanding, the thirst for forgiveness, the thirst for justice, the thirst for happiness, and most importantly, the thirst for love, God’s love.

Until You Ask…

The gift of Christ’s presence and mercy is available for everyone. “God proves His love for us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) He died for every sinner so that by the Blood of Christ, we may be cleansed from our sin and be reconciled with God. But, like the Samaritan woman, we need to ask Jesus.

As Catholics, we can easily do this through the Sacrament of Penance, confessing our sins and being reconciled with God when the priest absolves us from sin, using the power given by God to act in persona Christi (in the person to Christ). It gives me great peace to frequent this Sacrament because the more I do it, the more I become receptive to the Holy Spirit. I can feel Him speaking through my heart, helping me to discern good from evil, growing in virtue as I flee from vice. The more frequently I repent of my sins and turn back to God, the more sensitive I become to the presence of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. I become conscious of His presence in those who have received Him in Holy Communion. I feel His warmth in my heart when the priest walks past me with the ciborium filled with the Consecrated Host.

Let’s be honest about it. Many people line up for Communion, but very few people line up for Confession. It is sad that many people are missing out on such a very important source of grace to strengthen us spiritually. Here are a few things that help me get the most out of Confession.

Be Prepared

A thorough examination of the conscience is necessary before Confession. Prepare by going through the commandments, the seven deadly sins, the sins of omission, the sins against purity, charity, etc. For a sincere confession, the conviction of sin is a prerequisite, so it is always helpful to ask God to enlighten us about certain sins we committed that are unknown to us. Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of sins you have forgotten, or make you aware of where you have been unconsciously going wrong. Sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking that something is okay when it’s not.
Once we prepare well, we can again seek the assistance of the Holy Spirit to wholeheartedly admit our failures with a contrite heart. Even if we are not approaching confession with a perfectly contrite heart, it can happen during confession itself through the grace present in the Sacrament. Regardless of what you are feeling about certain sins, it’s good to confess them anyway; God forgives us in this Sacrament if we honestly admit our sins, recognizing that we have done wrong.

Be Honest

Be honest with yourself about your own weaknesses and failures. Admitting struggles, and dragging them out of the darkness into the light of Christ will relieve you of paralyzing guilt and bolster you against sins you tend to commit repeatedly (such as addictions). I remember once, in confession, when I told the priest about a certain sin that I just couldn’t seem to come out of, he prayed over me to specifically receive the grace from the Holy Spirit to help overcome it. The experience was so liberating.

Be Humble

Jesus told Saint Faustina that “A soul does not benefit as it should from the Sacrament of Penance if it is not humble. Pride keeps it in darkness.” (Diary, 113) It is humiliating to kneel in front of another human being and openly encounter the dark areas of your life. I remember receiving a very long sermon for confessing a grave sin once and getting reprimanded for repeatedly confessing the same sin. If I can learn to look at these experiences as the loving corrections of a Father who cares so much about your soul and willingly humble myself, those bitter experiences can become blessings.

The forgiveness of God is a powerful indication of His love and faithfulness. When we step into His embrace and confess what we’ve done, it restores our relationship with Him as our Father and we, His children. It also restores our relationship with one another who belong to one body—the body of Christ. The best part of receiving God’s forgiveness is how it restores the purity of our soul so that when we look at ourselves and others, we get to see God dwelling in all.

What happens to your soul when you have an unexpected encounter…?

I have a fond childhood memory about Eucharistic Adoration which is very dear to my heart. I participated in the rite of exposition and benediction of the Blessed Sacrament as a child, and I was mesmerized by the Eucharistic Jesus in a majestic monstrance with incense rising up towards Him. 

As the priest worshipped God by swinging the censer, incense rose towards the Eucharist and the whole congregation sang together, 

“O Sacrament Most Holy, O Sacrament Divine, All praise and all thanksgiving, Be every moment Thine.”

I longed to touch the censer myself and gently push it forward so I could cause the incense to rise up to the Lord Jesus. The priest gestured to me not to touch the censer and I turned my attention to the incense smoke that rose up along with my heart and eyes to the Lord God fully present in the Eucharist.

This participation in Eucharistic Adoration as a child filled my soul with so much beauty—the smell of the incense, the entire congregation singing in unison, and the vision of the Eucharistic Lord being worshipped—my senses were thoroughly satisfied, leaving me longing for the experience again. 

Caught Again

I admit with much sadness however that several years afterwards, as a teenager—when I had more opportunities—I gave into hesitation and stayed away from Eucharistic Adoration, depriving myself of such great beauty and source of sanctity. My reason for this seems to me very silly now. I thought I had to continuously pray for the entire one hour of Eucharistic Adoration and it seemed like a very long time. 

How many of us today hesitate to go to Eucharistic Adoration for similar reasons? We sometimes feel stressed, bored, lazy or even afraid about going to Eucharistic Adoration and we deprive ourselves of this great gift. I say, the trick is to just start going and soon you wouldn’t want to stop.

Stronger than Ever

Life threw its share of struggles and trials at me in my young adulthood; recalling where I had received such comfort, I turned to God for strength and sustenance. One specific way I turned to God is by going to Eucharistic Adoration on First Fridays. I began by sitting silently in the presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament for a whole hour, first, simply allowing myself to be there; and then just talking to the Lord about my life, asking for His help and telling Him that I loved Him. Have you ever thought of the possibility of simply showing up in front of the Eucharistic Jesus and doing nothing but staying in His divine presence for an hour?

For me, as years went by, I found that spending time at Eucharistic Adoration has changed my life in profound ways, as I become more and more aware of my deepest identity as a beloved daughter of God. 

We know that our Lord Jesus is truly and fully present in the Eucharist, His body, blood, soul and divinity. The Eucharist is Jesus Himself. Spending time with the Eucharistic Jesus can cleanse you from your sins and fill you with His great love for you. Let us always be fervent, to spend one hour with our God, who continues to be with us in the Eucharist, to the end of the age. 

Our personal relationship with our God will develop and become stronger and stronger, the more we spend time with the Lord Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration. I assure you that it will become easier, therefore, do not give in to the initial hesitation and do not be afraid in any way to spend time with our Eucharistic Lord, who is love and mercy itself, goodness and goodness alone.

Did you know that we have all been invited to the Greatest Feast in the history of mankind?

A few years ago, I was reading the story of the birth of Dionysus with my students. Persephone, the legend goes, was impregnated by Zeus and asked to see him in his true form. But a finite creature cannot look upon an eternal being and live. So, the mere sight of Zeus caused Persephone to explode, there and then, on the spot. One of my students asked me why we don’t explode when we receive the Eucharist. I told him I didn’t know, but it couldn’t hurt to be prepared.

The Approach

Every day, and in every Catholic church around the world, a great miracle is at work—the greatest miracle in the history of the world: the Creator of the universe is incarnate on the altar, and we are invited to approach that altar to take Him in our hands. If we dare. There are some who argue—and convincingly—that we shouldn’t dare to walk up and grab the Eucharist as though it were a theater ticket or a drive-through order. There are others who argue, and convincingly, that the human hand makes a worthy throne for such a humble King. Either way, we should be prepared.

In 2018, I visited the Tower of London with my family. We stood in line for an hour and a half to see the Crown Jewels. An hour and a half! First, we were issued tickets. Then, we sat through a documentary video. Shortly after, we were ushered through a winding series of velvet, roped corridors past silver and gold vessels, suits of armor, lavish and costly outfits of fur, satin, velvet, and woven gold…until at last, we were granted a brief glimpse of the crown through bullet-proof glass and over the shoulders of heavily armed guards. All that just to see the Queen’s crown!

There is something infinitely more precious at every Catholic Mass.

We should be prepared.

We should be trembling.

Mobs of Christians should be fighting for a glimpse of this miracle.

So, where is everybody?

Quarantine Miracle

During the pandemic, when the Church doors were closed to the faithful, and we were forbidden—well, you were forbidden—from witnessing this miracle in person, how many begged the Church to have the courage to trust that we’d rather die than be deprived of this miracle? (Don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame the Church’s decision which was based on the very best medical advice.)

I don’t remember hearing about any outrage, but then, I was busy hiding in the cloister, sterilizing countertops, and doorknobs.

What would you give to have been there at Cana when Jesus worked His first miracle—to stand in the presence of the Queen of Heaven? What would you give to have been there on that first Holy Thursday night? Or to have stood at the foot of the Cross?

You can. You’ve been invited. Be aware and be prepared.

Loneliness is the new normal worldwide, but not for this family! Read on for this incredible tip on staying connected always.

I recently became an empty nester. All five of my children live hours apart from one another, which makes family gatherings few and far between. This is one of the bittersweet consequences of successfully launching your children; they can fly pretty far sometimes.

Last Christmas, our whole family had the happy occasion of visiting with each other. At the end of those three joyful days, when it was time for goodbyes, I overheard one sibling say to another: “I’ll see you in the Eucharist.”

This is the way. This is how we stay close to one another. We cling to the Eucharist. And Jesus binds us together.

We certainly miss one another and wish we had more time together. But God has called us to work in different pastures and to be content with the time we’ve been given. So, in between visits and phone calls, we go to Mass and continue to stay connected.

Feeling Alone?

Attending the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass allows us to enter into a reality that’s not bound by space and time. It’s the stepping out of this world and into a sacred space where Heaven touches Earth in a real way, and we are united with the entire family of God, those worshiping both here on Earth and in Heaven.

By partaking in Holy Communion, we find that we indeed are not alone. One of Jesus’ last words to His disciples was: “I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) The Eucharist is the immense gift of His continual Presence with us.

Naturally, we miss loved ones who are no longer with us; sometimes, the ache can be quite fierce. It is in those moments that we must cling to the Eucharist. On particularly lonesome days, I make an extra effort to get to Mass a little early and linger a little longer afterward. I intercede for each of my loved ones and receive comfort knowing I am not alone and that I am close to Jesus’ Heart. I pray that each of my loved one’s hearts are also close to Jesus’ Heart, so we can also be together. Jesus promised: “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to Myself.” (John 12:32)

Incredibly Close

One of my favorite lines during the Eucharistic Prayer is this: “Humbly we pray that partaking of the body and blood of Christ, we may be gathered into one by the Holy Spirit.”

God gathers what once was scattered and draws us into the one body of Christ. The Holy Spirit at Mass has been tasked in a particular way with uniting us. We absolutely need God’s help to be in true communion with others.

Have you ever been in the same room with someone, but yet it felt like you were a million miles away? The opposite of that can also be true. Even if we are miles apart, we can feel incredibly close to others.

Ultimate Reality

Last year, I felt particularly close to my grandmother at her funeral Mass. It was very comforting, for I felt like she was right there with us, especially during the Eucharistic prayer and Holy Communion. My grandmother had a strong devotion to the Eucharist and strove to attend daily Mass for as long as she physically could. I was so grateful for that time of intimacy with her and will always treasure that. This reminds me of another portion of the Eucharistic prayer:

“Remember also our brothers and sisters who have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection and all who have died in Your mercy: welcome them into the light of Your face. Have mercy on us all, we pray, that with the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, with Blessed Joseph, Her Spouse, with the Blessed Apostles, and all the Saints who have pleased You throughout the ages, we may merit to be co-heirs to eternal life, and may praise and glorify You through Your Son, Jesus Christ.”

While at Mass or Eucharistic Adoration, we are in the Real Presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are also joined by the Saints and Angels in Heaven. One day we will see this reality for ourselves. For now, we believe with the eyes of faith.

Let us take courage whenever we feel lonely or are missing a loved one. Jesus’ Loving and Merciful Heart is constantly beating for us and yearning for us to spend time with Him in the Eucharist. This is where we find our peace. This is where our hearts are fed. Like Saint John, let us rest peacefully on the loving breast of Jesus and pray that many others will find their way to His Sacred Eucharistic Heart. Then, we will be truly together.

A blaring home siren was ripping through the stillness of the night. I woke up with a start. My first instinct was one of frustration, but as the moments passed and the siren continued wailing across the neighborhood, I realized there was something amiss.

More from curiosity than bravado, I went outside to get a better look. Seeing my neighbor John working under the hood of his car, I called out and asked about the siren, but he seemed not to hear it at all. He simply shrugged: “Those things go off all the time…it’ll turn itself off in a few minutes.”

I was confused. “But what if someone is breaking into the house?” 

“Well, if they have their alarm serviced by the alarm company, someone will come around in a little bit to check on it. But it’s probably just nothing. Like I said, they go off all the time for the craziest reasons. Lightning storms, a car backfire…who knows why?” 

I went back into my house and looked at the alarm panel on the wall near our front door. 

What good is an alarm if no one pays any attention? 

How often is the Gospel message heard across our neighborhoods and our cities like a voice crying in the wilderness, an alarm warning of impending danger echoing through the night? “Turn back to God,” it exhorts. “Repent. Ask for His forgiveness.”

Yet many of us just shrug our shoulders, turn away, and continue fiddling under the hoods of our cars, content with our lifestyle, relationships, and comfort zones. 

“Hey, don’t you hear it?” Every now and then someone interrupts. The response would probably be: “Been hearing it ever since I was a kid. But don’t worry, it’ll turn itself off in a few minutes.” 

“Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while He is near.” (Isaiah 55:6)

Often, it’s easy to find fault with others but much more difficult to trace the real culprit.

I discovered a parking ticket stuck on my car’s windshield wiper. It was an infringement notice for a $287 fine due to the blocking of a driveway. I became upset, and my mind filled with self-justifying thoughts.

I kept thinking: “It was just a few inches! Wasn’t the garage closed? It didn’t look like it was being used. Someone else was parked in front of my car, blocking most of the driveway. There was no available parking space, so I had to park half a kilometer away from my intended destination.”

Before the Fall

But wait a minute! Why was I making so many excuses? It’s clear that I had violated the parking rules, and now, I had to face the consequences. However, it’s always been my first instinct to try to defend myself whenever I make a mistake. This habit runs deep within me. I wonder where it originated.

Well, it goes back to the Garden of Eden. Yet another excuse? Perhaps, but I tend to believe that the first sin was not disobedience or a lack of trust in God but that of evading accountability.

Why? When Adam and Eve fell into the snake’s trap, they had never experienced evil or tasted the fruit of knowledge. They only knew God, so how could they recognize that the snake was evil and lying? What even is a lie? Can we expect them to distrust the snake? Weren’t they like a six-month-old baby trying to play with a cobra?

However, things changed after they ate the forbidden fruit. Their eyes were opened, and they realized they had sinned. Yet when God asked them about it, Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the snake. No wonder we tend to do the same!

A Precious Opportunity Awaits

Christianity, in a way, is simple. It’s about being accountable for our sins. God only asks us to take responsibility for our wrongdoings. 

When we inevitably fall, the most appropriate action for a Christian is to take full responsibility for the mistake, turn to Jesus, and offer an unconditional apology. Needless to say, taking responsibility also comes with a personal commitment to try our best not to repeat the mistake. Jesus takes on the accountability Himself and resolves it with the Father through the immeasurable value of His Precious Blood.

Imagine that someone from your family made a mistake that resulted in a huge financial loss. If you knew that your bank was willing to reimburse the loss upon receiving a statement, would you waste your time blaming each other for the mistake?

Are we truly aware of the precious opportunity we have in Christ? 

Let us not fall into the trap of Satan, who is inclined to blame. Instead, let us make a conscious effort not to point fingers at others but rather run toward Jesus when we stumble.

Q – I am afraid of death. Although I believe in Jesus and hope in Heaven, I am still filled with anxiety at the unknown. How can I overcome this fear of death?

A – Imagine that you were born into a dungeon and unable to see the world outside. A door separates you from the world outside—the sunlight, the fresh air, the merriment…but you have no concept of these brighter, beautiful things, for your world is only this dark, musty space filled with decay. Every now and then, a person leaves through the door, to never return. You miss them, for they were your friends and you had known them your whole life! 

Now, imagine for a moment that someone from the outside comes in. He tells you of all the good things that you can experience outside of this dungeon. He knows of these things, for He has been there Himself. And because He loves you, you can trust Him. He promises you that He will walk through the door with you. Would you take His hand? Would you stand up and walk with Him through the door? It would be frightening, for you do not know what is on the outside, but you can have the courage that He does. If you know Him and love Him, then you will take His hand and walk through the door into the sunlight, into the grand world outside. It is frightening, but there is trust and hope.

Every human culture has had to wrestle with the fear of the unknown when we walk through that dark door of death. On our own, we have no idea what lies beyond the veil, but we do know Someone who has come from the other side to tell us about what eternity is like.

And what has He revealed? He has said that those who are saved “are before the throne of God,
and serve Him day and night in His temple, and He who sits on the throne will shelter them with His presence. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them,
nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” (Revelation 7:15-17) We are confident that eternal life is perfect love, abundant life, perfect joy. In fact, it is so good that “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, nor has the mind of man ever conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

But do we have any certainty that we will be saved? Isn’t there a chance that we won’t make it to that Heavenly paradise? Yes, it is true that it isn’t guaranteed. Yet, we are filled with hope because “God desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of truth.” (1 Timothy 2:3-4)  He desires your salvation more than you desire it yourself! So, He will do everything in His power to bring us to Heaven. He has already extended the invitation to you, written and signed in the Blood of His Son. It is our faith, lived out in our lives, which accepts such an invitation.

It is true we do not have certainty, but we do have hope, and “hope does not disappoint” (Romans 5:5). We are called to walk in humility and trust, knowing the power of the Savior, Who “came to save sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15).

Practically speaking, we can overcome the fear of death in a few ways. 

– First, focus on God’s promises of Heaven. He has said many other things in the Scriptures that fill us with an excited expectation of receiving the beautiful eternity He has prepared. We should burn with a desire for Heaven, which will lessen the fear of leaving this fallen, broken world behind. 

– Second, focus on God’s goodness and His love for you. He will never abandon you, even when passing into the unknown. 

– Finally, consider the ways that He has been present to you when you have had to enter into new and unknown lands–going off to college, getting married, buying a house. It can be frightening to do something for the first time because there is a fear of the unknown. But if God has been present in these new experiences, even more so will He take your hand as you walk through the door of death into the life that you have long desired!

My husband was given a death sentence; I did not want to live on without him, but his firm convictions surprised me.

Five years ago, my world came crashing down when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The life and the future I envisioned were forever changed in an instant. It was terrifying and confusing; the most hopeless and helpless I’ve ever felt. It was as though I had been plunged into an abyss of constant fear and despair. I had only my faith to cling onto as I faced the darkest days I’ve ever known. Days of caring for my dying husband and days of preparing to face a life completely different than what I had planned.

Chris and I had been together since we were teenagers. We were best friends and nearly inseparable. We had been married for over twenty years and were happily raising our four children in what seemed like an idyllic life. Now he was given a death sentence, and I didn’t know how I could live without him. In truth, part of me didn’t want to. One day, in a moment of brokenness, I confided in him that I thought I might die of a broken heart if I had to live without him. His reaction was not as desperate. He sternly but empathetically told me that I had to keep living until God called me home; that I couldn’t wish or waste my life away because his was coming to an end. He confidently assured me that he would be watching over me and our children from the other side of the veil.

The Other Side of Grief

Chris had an unshakeable faith in God’s love and mercy. Convinced that we wouldn’t be separated forever, he would often recite the phrase: “It’s just for a little while.” This was our constant reminder that no heartache lasts forever—and these words gave me boundless hope. Hope that God will guide us through this, and hope that I will be reunited with Chris in the next life. During these dark days, we clung to Our Lady in the Rosary—a devotion we were already familiar with. The Sorrowful Mysteries were recited more often than not because contemplating the suffering and death of Our Lord brought us closer to Him in our own suffering. The Divine Mercy Chaplet was a new devotion that we added to our daily routine. Like the Rosary, this was a humbling reminder of what Jesus willingly endured for our salvation, and somehow it made the cross we had been given seem less heavy.

We began to more clearly see the beauty in suffering and sacrifice. I would mentally repeat the small prayer: “Oh, Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in You” every hour of the day. It would bring a wave of calm over me whenever I felt a rush of uncertainty or fear. During this time, our prayer life deepened tremendously and gave us hope that Our Lord would be merciful to Chris and our family as we endured this painful journey. Today, it gives me hope that Chris is at peace, watching over and interceding for us from the other side—just as he promised.

In these uncertain days of my new life, it’s hope that keeps me going and gives me strength. It has given me immeasurable gratitude for God’s endless love and tender mercy. Hope is a tremendous gift; an inextinguishable interior glow to focus on when we feel broken. Hope calms, hope strengthens, and hope heals. Hope takes courage to hold onto.

As Saint John Paul II said: “I plead with you! Never, ever give up on hope. Never doubt, never tire and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.”