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When grief comes crashing down on you…

As I gazed at my daughter’s innocent face while she nestled back to sleep, my heart melted. I felt a sudden heartache and wept for her as I drew her closer and kissed on the forehead. In her brief seven years of life, she had overcome so many health challenges, with multiple hospital stays. The trauma we underwent was fresh in my mind, especially the day we received the grave diagnosis of permanent brain damage. My heart broke for her as I considered all that she would miss out on. I thought, I was much stronger emotionally, but I was not.

According to the Swiss-American psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, there are 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Our first reaction to grief is denial. In shock at what has happened, we don’t want to accept the new reality.

The second stage is anger. We feel angry at this intolerable situation and anything that has caused it, and even irrational anger towards the people around us, or God.

As we seek to escape our new reality, we enter the third stage: bargaining. For instance, we may attempt to make a secret deal with God to postpone the crisis and the related pain.

The fourth stage is depression. As the reality slowly sets in, we often feel sorry for ourselves, wondering why something like this could happen to us. The feeling of depression is often accompanied by self-pity and feeling like a victim.

Acceptance comes in the fifth stage as we come to terms with the cause of the grief and begin to focus on the future.

Unexpected Relapse

Once we have reached the acceptance stage in dealing with our grief, we move towards resurgence. In this phase we take full control of ourselves, our emotions, and the situation and begin to think about what we can do next to move ahead.

In response to my daughter’s medical condition, I had transitioned through these stages and I felt that I was in the resurgence phase: able to maintain my emotions to keep motivated through each day, while sustaining a constant faith and hope in God’s plan for her life. But I had recently experienced a sudden, severe relapse into grief and despair. I felt shattered.

My heart grieved for her so much that I just wanted to scream; “God, why does my child have to suffer? Why does she have to live such a difficult life? It isn’t fair that she is suffering? Why does she have to spend her life struggling and being dependent on others for so much?” As I held her close to me, I let my tears flow. Once again, I couldn’t accept the hard realities of her life and I sobbed through the night. It seemed that I had retreated back into the stage of denial—all the way back…

The Full Picture

However, in the midst of this sudden surge of grief, I prayed for her, remembering Jesus on the Cross and the agony He had endured. Was it fair that God sent His son to die for my wrongdoings? No! It wasn’t fair that Jesus shed His innocent blood for me. It wasn’t fair that He was ruthlessly mocked, stripped of His clothes, whipped, beaten and crucified on the Cross. The Father bore this painful sight for love of me. His heart grieved, just as my heart aches when I see my child suffer. He endured this so that I could be accepted, forgiven and loved.

God truly cares about my pain and understands how I feel. This insight enabled me surrender to His sovereign plans for Jennie, knowing that He loves her even more than I do. Although I don’t have all the answers, and I can only see half of the picture, I know The One who sees the full picture of her life. I simply need to place my faith and trust in Him.

I finally fell asleep, consoled by His love. I woke with renewed hope. He gives me just enough grace for each and every day. I may emotionally relapse from time to time, but God’s mercy can carry me through. With Him by my side to give me hope, I have faith that I will always return to resurgence by seeing my pain in the light of His glory!

I pray that you may also find His strength and assurance in the most painful and bewildering moments of your lives, so that you may experience His deep and abiding hope. When you are weak, may He help you bear your burdens and see your suffering in the light of His glory. Whenever the question, “Why me Lord?” enters your thoughts, may the Lord open your heart to His loving mercy as He bears the load with you.

“Weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. Psalm 30:5

That dreaded moment when the doctor says you only have a short time to live…

I am an estate planner. People pay me to facilitate what will happen to their material goods when they die. A good steward plans for the future. It is reasonable to make plans for your possessions when you pass away, but it is far, far more important to get your spiritual house in order—to prepare for where you will spend eternity.

Many people hear the words, “Get your spiritual house in order. Make peace with God”. But they hesitate and are unsure of how to do it. Some are keenly aware that they have lived their lives as if everything revolved around earthly existence. Because they have failed to love God with their whole hearts, their whole souls, and their whole minds, and their neighbor as themselves, they are afraid to stand in judgment before God. Others are simply afraid of the unknown. Still others would rather not think about it.

God does not spurn a humble and contrite heart; but it is hard to come humbly before God acknowledging sin and proclaiming God’s goodness when the focus is on self instead of God’s loving goodness and mercy. In perhaps the finest spiritual book of the twentieth century, “He & I” wherein Gabrielle Bossis recorded the following message from Jesus on June 1, 1939:

“Write! I don’t want people to be afraid of Me anymore, but to see My heart full of love and to speak with Me as they would with a dear brother. For some I am unknown. For others, a stranger, a severe master or an accuser. Few people come to Me as to a loved one in the family. And yet My love is there, waiting for them. So tell them to come, to enter in, to give themselves up to love just as they are. I’ll restore. I’ll transform them. And they will know a joy they have never known before. I alone can give that joy. If only they would come! Tell them to come.”

The parable of “The Workers in the Vineyard” (Matthew 20) manifests the gracious, generous, loving nature of God—the One who blesses us not according to what we have “earned” but according to what we need. The workers who came at the eleventh hour worked only a single hour, yet received a full day’s pay.

There are some things God asks for one day only, and His compassionate heart applies that to an entire life. God gave you life. It was a free gift. Yet, He foresaw all your ingratitude just as He foresaw Peter’s denial of Him after Peter had sworn that he would never deny Jesus. Unlike Judas, Peter sought forgiveness, affirmed his love for Jesus, and became a great Saint. Moses, David and Paul were murderers, but they also became great Saints because, with a contrite heart, they trusted Jesus and humbly asked for His forgiveness.

God is always with you. He anxiously waits for you. Like the father of the prodigal son, He wants to put the finest robe on you, a ring on your finger and sandals on your feet. He wants to celebrate with a feast because His child was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found. God has so much love for you that He hears your faintest call. Don’t be afraid of expressing yourself. Put your mouth to His ear. He’s listening. When you were little you wanted someone to take your hand when you crossed the street. Ask Jesus to take your hand, because you are always little. Give Jesus absolutely everything. Go the whole way. God takes your shortcomings as well as your efforts to be good. Give yourself as you are. He knows all about human nature. He came to help and restore. Jesus is the Host. You are the tabernacle.

When you need healing, you put yourself into the hands of a physician. Put your soul, silent and still, into the hands of Jesus. He will heal you. Love, and your intent to love, will give value to your actions. Give your life back to God. Give Him your sufferings and your sorrow. Ask to fall asleep in the Holy Spirit because your last conscious breath should be in love.

In her diary, Saint Faustina recorded this message about the Divine Mercy Chaplet from Jesus:

My daughter, encourage souls to say the chaplet which I have given to you. It pleases Me to grant everything they ask of Me by saying the chaplet. When hardened sinners say it, I will fill their souls with peace, and the hour of their death will be a happy one…

Write that when this chaplet is said in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person, not as the just Judge but as the merciful Savior.” (Diary, 1541)

If you are near the end of life, this is your hour of trial. Lose nothing of it. As you believe, so shall you receive. Make peace with God. Trust in Him. Offer Him a humble and contrite heart.

Go to Confession. Ask to receive the Last Rites. Ask St. Joseph, the Patron of a Happy Death, to prepare you to meet God face to face. Recite the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Read Psalm 51.

If you know of someone near death, pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet with them. Encourage them to make a good Confession and to receive the Last Rites.

Be not afraid.

Trust in Jesus

Are Angels real? Get to know the truth here…

We often come across Angels as messengers of God in the Scripture. The Catholic Church recognizes the names of only three Angels, all of whom belong to the Choir of Archangels. Each year the Church celebrates the feast of these Archangels: Michael, Gabriel and Raphael on September 29th.

Saint Michael the Archangel means, “Who is like God.” He is the patron of soldiers, police officers and firefighters. Traditionally, Michael has been referred to as the Guardian Angel of the people of Israel and he is now revered as the Guardian Angel of the Church. In the Book of Revelation, Michael is the angel who led the forces of Heaven to defeat Lucifer/Satan when he rebelled against God. We learn from Scripture and Tradition that Saint Michael has four main responsibilities: to combat Satan; to escort the faithful to Heaven at their hour of death; to be a champion of all Christians and the Church; and to call men and women from life on Earth to their Heavenly judgment.

Saint Gabriel the Archangel means, “God is My Strength”. Gabriel is God’s Holy Messenger. He appeared to the Prophet Daniel to explain a vision from God. He appeared to the priest Zacharias to announce that he would have a son, John the Baptist, and he appeared to the Virgin Mary at the Annunciation. Catholic tradition indicates that Gabriel was the angel who appeared to Saint Joseph in his dreams. God entrusted Gabriel with delivering the most important message of our Catholic faith to the Virgin Mary. He is the patron saint of messengers, telecommunications workers and postal workers.

Saint Raphael the Archangel means, “God heals.” In the Old Testament book of Tobit, Raphael is credited with driving the evil spirit from Sarah and restoring Tobit’s vision, allowing him to see the light of Heaven and for receiving all good things through His intercession. Raphael is the patron saint of travelers, the blind, bodily ills, happy meetings, nurses, physicians and medical workers.

Angels all around us

“Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you.” Saint Francis de Sales.

Have you experienced angels protecting you from apparent dangers? Sometimes a person knows deep down that Someone had come to their aid. Many of us have probably realized that angels have protected and helped them at times.

One of my experiences of angels assisting me is etched forever in my memory. When my mom was being treated for cancer, we had to make a 240 miles round trip to the nearest cancer treatment center. On the way home one day, as we drove along a secondary highway, my car began to lose power while the engine started to bang and make all kinds of noise indicating that the car was about to die on the spot. My mom was exhausted and feeling ill, so I knew that it could be disastrous if we stalled on the side of the road in the heat of the summer.

I began to pray desperately, asking the holy angels to come to our assistance, to keep the engine going until we arrived home. After chugging disjointedly along for about a mile or two, all of a sudden the engine started to smooth out, gain power and ran smoothly all the way home. We were thanking God for sending us angels to assist us. The next day, I brought my car into the mechanic shop to have it checked out. To my pleasant surprise the mechanic could not find a single issue with the engine. I felt thankful and amazed that our very own angel mechanic had fixed the car so that it ran even better than before. “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and rescues them.” Psalm 35:7

From the moment God created me, He assigned me a guardian angel. “Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life.” (CCC 336) Our human lives are surrounded by their watchful care and intercession. Our guardian angel’s task is to get us to Heaven. We will never know, this side of Heaven, how many times we were protected from dangers by angels or how often they helped us avoid a fall into serious sin. “The angels work together for the benefit of us all.”— Saint Thomas Aquinas. No wonder the Catholic Church has set apart October 2nd as a feast day to remember the Guardian Angels.

Many Saints were privileged to see their angel. Saint Joan of Arc (1412-1431) was a young woman who was called by Saint Michael the Archangel and other saints to lead and inspire the French forces in numerous military battles against the English during the Hundred Year War. God used this courageous woman to do battle on His behalf.

Pope Leo XIII who reigned during the latter half of the 19th Century, had a vision of Satan and composed the following Prayer to Saint Michael which is recited after Mass in many Churches today:

“Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in the hour of battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.”

When we sing praises to God we are singing with the Angels. At every Mass, we are swept right up into Heaven. “The Mass as Heaven on earth …is a mysterious participation in the Heavenly liturgy. We do go to Heaven when we go to Mass, and this is true of every Mass we attend.” Dr. Scott Hahn.

Heavenly King, You have given us archangels to assist us during our pilgrimage on earth.

Saint Michael is our protector;

I ask him to come to my aid,

fight for all my loved ones,

and protect us from danger.

Saint Gabriel is a messenger of the Good News;

I ask him to help me clearly hear Your voice

and to teach me the truth.

Saint Raphael is the healing angel;

I ask him to take my need for healing and that of everyone I know,

lift it up to Your throne of grace and

deliver us back to the gift of recovery.

Help us, O Lord, to realize more fully the reality of archangels and their desire to serve us. Holy angels, pray for us. Amen.

Every moment of searching is a moment of encounter.
Look out…for those life-changing moments

Pope Francis opens his first encyclical with this line: “The joy of the Gospel fills the hearts and lives of all who encounter Jesus.” Then he boldly invites “all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting Him encounter them. . .”

“Encounter,” a keyword of Pope Francis, came to me as the Lord’s answer to a theme for my upcoming retreat. I realized that I needed to develop this quality in my own life—striving to really listen deeply to Jesus in my prayer, and then to the people He sends.

Carried Away

Our society does not cultivate real encounter. Absorption in screen-based activities and trivial conversations and activities impedes our interactions. We often judge by externals without taking time to see the person within.

During my five-day retreat, I chose a Joyful Mystery as the focus of each day. While I took my morning jog, I contemplated each mystery and renamed them:

1. The Encounter of the Archangel Gabriel with Mary.

2. The Encounter of Mary with Elizabeth, and of Jesus and John.

3. The First Face-to-Face Encounter of Jesus with Mary and Joseph.

4. The Encounter of Simeon, then Anna, with Jesus when He was Presented in the Temple.

5. Mary and Joseph’s Encounter after Losing and Finding Jesus.

When my mind roamed, I would draw my attention back to the key encounter.

Within My Soul

Occasionally, when I catch myself praying the psalms, prayers and readings from the breviary without fully engaging, I try to re-frame it as an encounter with the Father, with Jesus, with the Holy Spirit, with Mary, or with the saints. Sometimes, a strong distraction carries me away. For example, if I think about a person who has hurt me, and let that resentment intrude, I need to encounter the Lord’s healing. Often enough what bothers us about someone else is actually reflecting something about ourselves. So we are to ask ourselves: “What does my anger or resentment about this person tell me about myself?

Relishing Friendship

In my perpetual efforts to clean up and get organized, I have found it helpful to ask: “Is this book, paper, CD, photo, really something very helpful, or have I just carried it around without using it beneficially? If I have not had an encounter with it, can I give it up, throw it out, or do something better with it?”

My daily prayer is to really encounter Jesus deeply, then to go out to encounter others in whom he truly is present. As Pope Francis says, we must “be sustained by our own constantly renewed experience of relishing Christ’s friendship and His message, . . .convinced from personal experience that it is not the same thing to have known Jesus as not to have known Him. . .

We pray that Our Lady will help us do as she did: “Mary, help us to say our own ‘Yes’ to proclaiming the Good News, and to encountering God in service of others.”

Question: I have two young children, and I worry about how to keep them in the Faith. In our world that seems to be growing more secular by the year, is there any way I can instill the Catholic Faith so deeply within them that they will stay Catholic as they grow older?

This is indeed a difficult situation for so many parents, as our culture is often openly hostile to our Catholic Faith. How to keep them Catholic when it seems that the deck is stacked against them?

Part of the challenge is that God’s grace is a mystery. A hundred people can hear the same talk or homily, and for some it will change their lives and others will find it boring and meaningless. In my own family, I have a brother who identifies himself as an atheist—both a priest and an atheist from the same family, with the same parents and upbringing! So, we must acknowledge that grace is a mystery—but we are also convinced that God loves your children more than you ever could, and He is doing everything possible to win their hearts and lead them to salvation.

With that said, there are some things that parents can do to help kids encounter Christ and stay faithful to Him. Although I do not have children, I have worked with thousands of kids and teens over the past seventeen years of youth ministry, and I have seen a few successful strategies that families employ to keep their kids faithful.

First, make Sunday Mass a non-negotiable. I remember my parents taking us to Mass on vacation, and they would never allow one of our sports games to interfere with Mass. The Mass-going example of a father on his children is especially critical. There’s an adage that says, “If a mother goes to Mass the children will go to Mass, but if a father goes to Mass the grandchildren will go to Mass.” My dad used to make special trips to our boy scout campouts to take me and my brother to Mass, and then return us back to the campsite when Mass was over! It made a huge impact on me and it taught me that nothing, absolutely nothing, came between us and Sunday Mass. That was the real cornerstone of our family. If you are ever on vacation, you can visit www.masstimes.org which lists all the Masses in the entire world—so whether you are in Paris or Buenos Aires or Disney World, you can still find a Sunday Mass!

Second, pray together as a family. My family used to pray the Rosary on the way to Mass, and we had special devotions around the Advent Wreath. We would attend Stations of the Cross together during Lent, and my parents took us to Eucharistic Adoration frequently. Although there were times I complained about being dragged into these things, they also introduced me to a personal relationship with Christ, one that has stayed strong to this day.

Also, never forget to pray and fast for your kids—daily!

Third, keep sin out of your home. If you allow your kids to have a smartphone, put a filter on it. Make sure the TV shows and movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the books they read are wholesome. Although your kids may complain, parents should be more concerned about their kids’ eternal happiness than a quick temporary pleasure of watching a bad movie!

Another good thing to do is to make your home a sanctuary. Fill it with crucifixes, holy pictures, statues of the Saints, and books about the Faith. The old adage is true: “Out of sight, out of mind.” The more we can call to mind eternal realities, the more we will stay faithful to them.

Fifth, surround your kids with a good Catholic community, both peers and adults. They need good friends who have similar values, so perhaps have them join a youth group or go to a Catholic summer camp. They also need adult mentors who love the Faith, so befriend other good Catholic families. Invite your parish priest over for dinner. Get together for a party with other parishioners. When I was younger, my father sometimes took me to his men’s group on Saturday mornings, and I will never forget the impact of seeing these men—men I knew and respected and liked, who were plumbers and lawyers and sports coaches—praying and singing and passionate about Jesus. It made me realize that it was cool and normal to have faith in the Lord!

A related question is where to send your child to school. The answer is quite simple: who is changing whom? If your child goes to school and brings the light of Christ there, then it is a good environment. But if your child starts to adopt the values of the world, then perhaps it is time to switch schools. Sadly, many Catholic schools do not provide a truly Christ-centered environment, so be careful even if you choose Catholic schools.

Finally, the best and most effective way to pass the faith on to children is to be a parent who is seeking the Lord in their own personal life! My father has always prayed the daily Rosary from before I was born, and both my parents comfortably discussed their faith life at home. I could see them studying the Faith on their own, reading books about Saints or spirituality. As the old saying goes, “Faith is more caught than taught”—and our actions speak louder than words. That does not mean we are perfect, but we do have to be sincere in seeking the face of the Lord in our own hearts.

None of these are guarantees, of course, as our kids have free will and are able to choose whether or not to follow the Lord. But in doing these things, we are giving them the foundation, and allowing God the opportunity to win their hearts. It is His grace alone that keeps kids Catholic—we are only conduits of that grace! Never forget that as much as you love your children, God loves them infinitely more—and desires their salvation!

As a gentle and kind-hearted woman, Mary Zhu Wu was esteemed for her exemplary faith.

She was a mother of four and lived with her husband Zhu Dianxuan, a village leader in Zhujiahe village in the Hebei Province of China towards the middle of the 1800s.

When the Boxer Rebellion broke out and Christians and foreign missionaries were massacred, the tiny village took in about 3000 Catholic refugees from neighboring villages. The parish priest, Father Léon Ignace Mangin, and fellow Jesuit, Father Paul Denn, offered daily Mass and heard confessions throughout the day during that troublesome time. On July 17, about 4,500 members of the Boxers and the imperial army attacked the village. Zhu Dianxuan gathered about 1000 men to defend the village and led them in battle. They fought bravely for two days but Zhu died when the cannon they had captured backfired. All those who were able, fled the village in terror.

By the third day, the soldiers gained entry into the village and killed hundreds of women and children. Around 1000 Catholics had already taken refuge in the church where the priests gave them general absolution and prepared for a final Mass. Although grieving for her husband, Mary Zhu Wu remained calm and exhorted those gathered to trust God and pray to the Blessed Virgin Mary. When the soldiers finally broke down the church door and started firing randomly, Mary Zhu-Wu rose with amazing courage. She positioned herself with outstretched arms in front of Father Mangin to shield him with her body. Soon, she was struck by a bullet and fell at the altar. The Boxers then surrounded the church and set it on fire to kill the survivors, with Fathers Mangin and Denn burning to death as the church roof finally collapsed.

Until her last breath, Mary Zhu Wu had continued to strengthen the faith of fellow believers and bolstered their courage. Her words spurred them to overcome fear and embrace martyrdom. Because of her powerful leadership, only two of the Christians of Zhujiahe apostatized. In 1955, Pope Pius XII declared her Blessed, together with the two Jesuits and several other martyrs. They were all canonized by Pope John Paul II in 2000.

Is there a hidden danger in dreaming BIG? Not unless we miss the silent, subtle, and heroic duty of the present moment

Often God’s will for us can be disguised by its very ordinary nature. This truth dawned on me again a few weeks ago.

I became the primary caregiver for my elderly mother after she moved in with me last year when it became clear that she was unable to live on her own any longer. She is fragile, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Any change in her routine can throw her into an emotional tailspin.

To come and live with me, she had to move to a different state, so it took weeks before she finally settled in and felt at home. Some months later, circumstances dictated that we move to a different house. I dreaded telling her this news, knowing that it would cause her anxiety and distress to be uprooted again. I put off telling her for as long as I could, but eventually had to let her know.

Not unexpectedly, it threw her for a loop. She was weepy, fearful and anxious. I tried the usual tactics to distract her and raise her spirits, but nothing worked. A few days before the actual move, I took her to see the new house. She liked it, but still felt disconcerted and upset about the change.

When we returned home from seeing the new place, I sensed that she needed me to spend time with her for the rest of the day. She loves to watch TV, but we have different tastes in movies, so I usually turn one on and then leave her to watch it alone. But this time I deliberately sat down beside her to watch, knowing that this would comfort her in the midst of her feeling of upheaval.

Sure enough, although I found the movie trite and uninteresting, I knew my physical proximity was reassuring to her. There were many other things I needed to do and would rather have done, but I also knew in my heart that sitting with my mom at this moment was the will of God for me. So, I tried to embrace it wholeheartedly, offering it to the Lord in prayer. I prayed for those who were struggling to find God’s will for their lives; for those who felt lonely or abandoned; for those who didn’t know God’s love yet; for the great suffering of so many in our world. Instead of getting impatient and antsy as the movie played on, I was calm and peaceful, knowing I was in the heart of God’s will for me in that moment.

Reflecting on this later, I realized, yet again, that much of God’s will for us takes the shape of very ordinary, mundane tasks. Servant of God Catherine Doherty, the foundress of Madonna House, called it the “duty of the moment.” She said, “All through my childhood and early youth I was instilled with the fact that the duty of the moment was the duty of God…Later, I still believed that the duty of the moment was the duty God gave me. God speaks to us, then, in the duty of every moment. As this duty of the moment is the will of the Father, we must give our whole self to that. When we do so, we can be certain that we are living in the truth, and hence in love, and hence in Christ…” (“Grace in Every Season” by Madonna House Publications, 2001).

My mom was comforted and reassured that day as I set aside my busy to-do list and did something she enjoyed. I felt, too, that the Lord was pleased with my little offering.

As you face your day and the tasks that lie ahead, even if they seem boring or repetitive, make the decision to unite your heart to God and offer it as a prayer for someone who is in need that day. Then get on with what you are called to do at that moment, knowing that God can take our ordinary tasks of each day and turn them into extraordinary sources of grace and transformation for the world.

Is technology shaping your consciousness? If so, it’s time to re think

The recent cyber-attacks in the U.S which led to gas shortages, panic buying, and worries about meat shortages—drove home how dependent we are on technology to function in our modern society. Such dependency has spawned new and unique mental, psychological, and spiritual challenges. Our days are spent on “screen time” seeking out our news, entertainment, and emotional and intellectual stimulation. But as we navigate through life via our digital devices and technology, we do not realize how they are shaping our consciousness.

Such dependency raises a basic question: does technology, an extension of reason, form our consciousness; has it become our primary orientation towards life? Many today would unapologetically answer, “Yes”. For many, reason and logic are the only way to “see.” But Saint Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians offers a different view through a pithy statement that summarizes the Christian life: “…we walk by Faith, not by sight” (5:7)

A Powerful Insight

As Christians, we perceive the world through our bodily senses, and we interpret that sensory data. through our rational interpretative lenses just like non-believers do. But our primary orientation is not given to us by the body or reason, it is given by faith. Faith has nothing to do with gullibility, superstition, or naivete. We do not have to put our Chromebooks, iPads, and smartphones, in the closet. Through faith we integrate our sensory perceptions and rational inferences into our relationship with God and others. Through faith we can appreciate Jesuit poet Gerald Manly Hopkins’ powerful insight that “The world is charged with the grandeur of God.”

Perception and reason–walking by sight—is good and necessary; indeed, that is where we start. But as Christians we walk primarily by faith. That means we are attentive to God and the movement of God within our ordinary experience. The contemporary spiritual writer Paula D’Arcy put it this way, “God comes to us disguised as our life.” And that cannot be a matter of direct vision or rational insight. To see life charged with God’s grandeur or to grasp that we do not have to look for God because God is in the very fabric of our life can be done only by faith, which goes beyond reason without contradicting it.

Missing-in-Action?

So, as we furtively emerge from our pandemic exile in which so many have suffered great pain and loss we may ask, where was God in all of this? What is God up to? Usually, the eyes of reason cannot see the answer. But we walk by faith, not just by sight. What God is doing happens slowly and in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence. God is always acting! He is never missing-in-action! From the smallest beginnings can come the accomplishment of God’s purposes. We know this from the prophet Ezekiel who sang of Israel’s great universal destiny which was prophesied during the Exile in which they lost everything!

Five hundred years after Ezekiel, Jesus makes much the same point. We read in the Gospel according to Saint Mark, “This is how it is with the Kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed in the land and would sleep and rise night and day and the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how” (4:26-27).

Ready for a Surprise

God is working, but we cannot see it with our ordinary eyes; we cannot understand it with our ordinary categories; no app is going to give us that access. God is at work and we know not how. That is okay. We walk by faith not by sight.

This is why in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus also says the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed—the smallest of all the seeds of the earth, but once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants, so that “birds of the sky can dwell in its shade” (4:32). It is not easy for us to enter into this logic of the unforeseeable nature of God and to accept His mysterious presence in our life. But especially during this time of uncertainty, loss, and cultural/political divisiveness God exhorts us to walk by faith which exceeds our plans, calculations, and predictions. God is always at work and He will always surprise us. The parable of the mustard seed invites us to open our hearts to surprises, to God’s plans, both at the personal level and that of the community.

In all our relationships—familial, parish, political, economic, and social—it is important that we pay attention to the little and big occasions in which we can live the Great Commandments—loving God and neighbor. That means we disengage from the divisive rhetoric so prevalent on television and social media that causes us to objectify our sister and brothers. Since we walk by faith and not sight we engage in the dynamics of love, of welcoming and showing mercy towards others.

Never Give Up

The authenticity of the Church’s mission, which is the mission of the Risen and Glorified Christ, does not come through programs or successful outcomes, but from going forth, in and through Christ Jesus, to walk with Him courageously, and to trust that our Father’s will always bear fruit. We go forth professing that Jesus is Lord, not Caesar or his successors. We understand and accept that we are a small mustard seed in the hands of our loving Heavenly Father who can work through us to bring about the Kingdom of God.

Many a time we dwindle into cares and worries, and life gets messy. What’s the way out?

“What a world! What a world!” declared the Wicked Witch of the West in “The Wizard of Oz” as she melted out of sight after being doused with a bucket of water. How often have we heard people use similar words because the world seems to be going a bit crazy? Problems and world issues can make us feel helpless, lost and drowning in buckets of negativity. We face challenges and a culture that grows messier every day. What a world! What a world!

Ripple Effect

While it is easy to blame “the world” for our problems, we are the individuals that collectively make up “the world”. Our actions or inactions have a ripple effect within our families and communities that continue rippling outward. Our lives touch the people around us and change them.

They in turn touch others. The global spread of the Covid-19 virus demonstrates how incredibly connected humanity is.

So why are we in such a mess?

Perhaps, it is because we have lost our way. Perhaps we are like the Apostle Peter who stepped out of the boat onto the water, but saw the storm raging and became frightened, and taking his eyes off Jesus began to sink (Matthew 14:30). When we take our eyes off Jesus, it is easy to lose our courage and sink into the problems that engulf us. Life can get messy very fast.

What does it mean to take our eyes off Jesus? I will explain by sharing my story. When my 4 children were young and our family life was extremely busy, my daily routine left little time to spend in prayer with God. However, each morning I invited Him to tag along with me in every activity. In addition to all my daily obligations, I had a strong interest in sewing. My desire to sew developed into a cottage industry that eventually grew so rapidly that I could not keep up.

After a full day caring for my family, I would sew when they slept. But weeks of operating on too little sleep, negatively changed my disposition, and that affected my family. A negative ripple effect was set in motion. One evening, I was exceptionally tired and facing another weary night of sewing, a dam of tears unlocked. Sobbing and full of frustration, I remembered that God tagged along with me all this time, so I thought it a good idea to blame Him for my situation. “Why God?” I asked. “Why did you give me the interest and the talent to sew and not give me the time to sew? WHY?”

Plugged Out

It seemed God had been waiting for me to ask that question, because as soon as it flew out of my mouth, He answered back, “Because I gave it to you for pleasure, not profit!” I was so stunned that the tears instantly halted and dried. I had no rebuttal. Suddenly I realized I had not sought God’s guidance or discerned His will before starting my sewing business. I had settled for letting Him “tag along”. I felt so ashamed. I had stepped out on my own and forgotten to pray. I placed Him behind me where I could not see Him. And with my eyes off Jesus I was sinking. My sewing business was having a negative ripple effect on me, my family and my world.

I had forgotten that God, who can and wants to help us, should lead, not follow behind me. But fortunately, there is help for us when we take our eyes off Jesus. Jesus told us, “Come to me, all who are weary and are overburdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28) We shouldn’t seek comfort or answers from other people, things or the false gods of this world. Our first “go to” should always be to turn in prayer to our merciful God who patiently waits for us to seek Him out. Like with Saint Peter, God wants to extend His hand to us, save us, get in our boats and lead us to safety. And it all starts with “asking”. Jesus said it clearly in the Gospel of Saint Matthew:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened…If you who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask Him?” (Matthew 7:7-11)

Like a good parent, God established a few conditions for answering prayer. The Apostle John tells us “if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us” (1 John 5:14). Our prayers cannot go against the will of God. So we need to know God and pray according to His will. (1 John 5:14)

How do we get to know God’s will? Jesus tells us, “If you remain in Me and My Words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (John 15:7) This means that to understand His will, we have to know Him. To get to know Him we have to pick up our Bibles. In sacred scripture we can hear Him, learn from Him and about Him, and understand His will. And then we must stay close to Him in prayer and through the Sacraments.

A Promise Forever

Saint Paul also weighs in on the subject of prayer. He tells us “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). Paul is clear that we should not let the worries of the world weigh us down. We need to approach God with a trusting and thankful heart. If we realized we are asking for help from the Creator of the Universe who loves us and can do anything, would we be anxious about anything?

In the Gospel according to Saint Mark, Jesus tells us, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (11:24). If we truly believe God will answer our prayers we should be thankful even before it is answered, because we know it will be answered. There is a saying floating around the internet that says, “Don’t tell God how big your problems are. Tell your problems how big God is!” Good advice that can help place our problems into a smaller perspective.

For many of us the idea of prayer is daunting. We want to turn to God in prayer, but we may not know where to begin. Many years ago, my life felt burdensome. I knew I needed to pray, but did not know how. I asked for help and God answered by sending the Holy Spirit to guide me. The following prayer filled my being so quickly that I felt I had merely penned what the Holy Spirit dictated.

Dear Jesus,

Teach me to pray, Lord.

Teach me to pray so that I may know you.

Teach me to pray for the things that please You and lead me into Your perfect will for my life.

Teach me to pray with all of my senses….my eyes, my ears, my nose, my mouth, my touch.

Teach me to pray with my eyes, by only looking at and for things that glorify You.

Teach me to pray with my ears, by hearing only affirming truths that venerate You.

Teach me to pray with my nose. Remind me of Your Breath of Life and Your Holy Spirit that rests within me, as my lungs fill with each breath.

Teach me to pray with my words so that they exalt You and Your precious name.

Teach me to pray with my hands by reaching out in love, to others in Your name.

Teach me to remember to pray.

Teach me to pray by calling to You for guidance in all my needs.

Teach me to pray in and through the turmoils of my life.

Teach me to pray for others and bring to mind their intentions as if they were my own.

Teach me to know Your truth, Your way, Your peace, Your grace and Your protection.

Teach me to pray in thanksgiving for the blessings and graces You generously bestow on me.

Teach me to calm my mind and pray in silence so that I may hear Your words to me.

Teach me to pray that I may be able to hear and know Your Holy Spirit in me, so that I may recognize when the Master is addressing me, His servant.

Teach me to pray that I may love you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength and with all my mind.

Teach me to allow my whole life to be a prayer to You.

Jesus, I ask you to be with me.

Jesus, I invite you to reside in me.

Jesus, I humbly request You to work through me.

Jesus, Teach me to pray. Amen.

I invite you to pray this prayer and remember that though we might be weary of the trials in this world, we certainly are not helpless. We have the power of prayer!

Now for the rest of Peter’s story. When Peter realized he had taken his eyes off Jesus and began to drown, he did not give up. He yelled out, “Lord! Save me!”. And at once Jesus put His hand out and held him! And as they both got into the boat, the wind dropped.

Now for the rest of my story…When I realized I had taken my eyes off Jesus and was drowning in too many activities and lack of sleep, I too asked Jesus to save me. He got into my boat and redirected my life. I completed my obligations and then turned my sewing into a pleasurable, relaxing activity.

Prayer changes things for us and the world around us. If we pray for ourselves and others, we can create a positive ripple effect. My prayer is that someday soon, instead of lamenting “What a world! What a world!”, we will echo Louis Armstrong’s classic song: “What a Wonderful World”.

On a scorching afternoon she walked down the street. There was nothing left for the children at the orphanage, so she went begging. Upon reaching a nearby tea shop, she held out her hand imploring the shopkeeper to give something for her hapless children.

The man spat into her palm. Without hesitation, she gently wiped her hand with the edge of her sari and held out the other hand. She spoke in an even low voice, “I am grateful to you for what you have given me. I request you not to spit on this hand, but give something for my children.”

The shopkeeper stood astonished at her humility. He asked her pardon and the incident marked a tremendous change in him. From then on, he became a generous contributor to the welfare of the children in her orphanage. The woman clad in white sari with blue border was none other than Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

Humility, according to Saint Teresa of Calcutta, is the mother of all virtues. She taught that “If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are. If you are blamed you will not be discouraged. If they call you a Saint you will not put yourself on a pedestal.”

Today humility is often misunderstood. Some take it as self-deprecation. But many Saints understood that humility is the way to hammer out good selfesteem by depending on God rather than oneself.

Did Mother Teresa suffer from low self-esteem? Of course not. Otherwise, how could she have dared to speak against abortion at the National Prayer Breakfast in 1993 right in front of President Bill Clinton, Vice President Al Gore, and their spouses?

Too often we rely on ourselves, and that becomes the greatest block to growing closer to God. By putting on the virtue of humility, Mother Teresa grew ever closer to God and became a living embodiment of Saint Paul’s pronouncement, “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

He didn’t have much time left, but Father Hilton chose to thrive on the promises, inspiring millions and changing lives

My journey through life has not been very smooth, but from the moment I decided to follow Christ, my life has never been the same. With the Cross of Christ before me and the world behind me I can firmly say, “There’s no turning back…”

During my schooldays at Bede’s College in Mentone, I felt a strong calling from within. I had great mentors there including Brother Owen who inspired and fostered my love for Jesus. At the tender age of 17, I joined the Missionaries of Sacred Heart. After 10 years of study, including a stint at the University of Canberra and a Theology degree in Melbourne, I was finally ordained.

Tryst with destiny

My first appointment was in Papua New Guinea, where I received a practical grounding living amongst simple people with a great sense of living in the present moment. Later, I was sent to Paris to study liturgy. Doctoral studies in Rome were interrupted by tension headaches which prevented me from completing it. And soon it became clear that my calling was not to teach in the seminary. On my return to Australia, I got involved in parish ministry and had a taste of 16 parishes in several different states across the country. I was revitalized by my involvement with two fabulous movements which nurture and revive marriage and family life—Teams of Our Lady and Marriage Encounter.

I felt content. Life was going very well. But all of a sudden, on 22nd of July 2015, everything changed. It didn’t come totally out of the blue. Over the past six months, I had seen blood in the urine on a couple of occasions. But now I was unable to even pass urine. In the middle of the night, I drove myself to the hospital. After a series of tests, I received alarming news. I had been diagnosed with kidney cancer which had already reached the fourth stage. I found myself in a state of shock. I felt cut off from normal people. The doctor had informed me that even with the medications, I could only expect to live for another three and half years. I could not help thinking about my sister’s tiny children. I would never see these charming toddlers grow up.

Until this crisis occurred, I had loved praying the morning meditations but from then on I struggled. After a while, I found an easier way to meditate. Resting before the Lord’s presence, I repeated a mantra inspired by Dante, “Your Will is my peace.” This simple form of meditation enabled me to restore my peace and trust in God. But as I went about my normal day, I found it much more difficult. I was often distracted by thoughts such as ‘I wouldn’t be around much longer…’

The Best Advice

After three months of treatment, tests were done to see if the medication was working well. The results were positive. There was significant reduction in most areas, and I was advised to consult a surgeon to remove the offending kidney. I felt a burst of relief because in the back of my mind I doubted if the medication was really working. So this was really great news. After the operation, I recuperated and returned to being a parish priest.

This time around, I felt more energized towards evangelization. Not knowing how long I would be able to do this work, I put all my heart into everything I engaged in. Every six months, tests were done. Initially, the results were good, but after a while the medicine I had been taking became less effective. Cancer began to grow in my lungs and in my back, giving me sciatica and causing me to hobble. I had to undergo chemotherapy and start a whole new immunotherapy treatment. It was disappointing, but not a surprise. Anybody who is on a journey with cancer knows that things change. You can be well one moment and next moment disaster strikes.

A beautiful friend of mine, who has been a nurse in the oncology department for many years, gave me the best advice: Go on living your life as normally as you can. Have coffee if you enjoy coffee, or have a meal with friends. Keep doing the normal things.

I loved being a priest and felt excited by the wonderful things happening in our parish. Even though the journey was no longer smooth, I still loved what I did. I always loved celebrating the Mass and ministering the Sacraments. It is something I held very precious and I am always grateful to God for this great privilege.

Beyond Horizons

I had a strong conviction that we really need to make greater efforts to turn around the dwindling number of people coming to the Church by being proactive. In our parish we endeavored to make Sunday more engaging. Since I had always loved the contemplative side of our Church, I wanted to create an oasis of prayer and peace by bringing a little bit of the monastic spirit into our parish. So every Monday night, we held a contemplative, candlelit Mass with soothing contemplative music. Instead of giving a sermon, I read a reflection.

One of the songs that touched me deeply is the GRAMMY winning single “10,000 reasons (Bless the Lord) by Matt Redman. Whenever I sang the third verse of the song, I almost choked up.

And on that day
when my strength is failing.
The end draws near
And my time has come
Still my soul will
Sing your praise unending
Ten thousand years

And then forevermore
Forevermore

I found it so moving because what we are ultimately trying to do is to give praise to God and develop our relationship with Jesus. Despite my illness, it was one of the most exciting times in my life as a priest. It reminded me of the words Jesus spoke, “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10

“My husband who is not a Catholic and only beginning to learn about faith got to know Father John by chance. Later he said ‘From what I know about this guy, Jesus… Father John seems to be just like Him. To know you are going to die and continue to give of yourself more and more even though the people around you don’t realize that these are your last days…” – Kaitlyn McDonnell

“One of the things John was very clear about was his purpose in life. He was an absolute driver and really made Jesus real in this world. I would often wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t been that strong in terms of his faith and values. It might have been very challenging for him but every Sunday when we met him, he had the same energy. Regardless of what happened around him or with him or to him, he had a sense of serenity around him. It was an incredible gift.” – Dennis Hoiberg

“We had to remind him that he had limitations, but that didn’t slow him down. He was such an inspiration because here’s a man who’s been told you’ve got a limited time. Yet he still kept giving instead of getting overcome by his disease and thinking about it.” – Shaun Sunnasy