Engage

Question: I want to start reading the Bible, but I don’t know where to start. Do I read it straight through, like a novel? Should I just open to a random page and start reading? What do you recommend?

Answer: The Bible is such a powerful place to encounter Jesus! As Saint Jerome said, “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.” So, you are to be commended for wanting to make it part of your spiritual life!

At first glance, the Bible can seem unwieldy, full of disjointed stories, long genealogies, laws and prophesies, poetry and songs, etc. I recommend two ways of reading the Bible. First, don’t read the Bible from beginning to end, because some books are tough to plow through! Instead, use Dr. Jeff Cavins “The Great Adventure Bible Timeline” to read your way through the overarching story of Salvation History—the story of how God worked throughout human history, starting with Creation, to save us from our sins. God created the world good, but human beings fell through original sin and brought evil into the world. But God did not abandon us. Instead, he formed relationships with us, called covenants, through with Abraham, Moses, and David. He taught us how to follow Him through the Law, and called us back to faithfulness to His promises through the prophets. Finally, God sent his son, Jesus, as the definitive solution to the human brokenness, pain, and anguish caused by sin. Through His life, death, and Resurrection, Jesus reconciled us to God once and for all, and established His Church to bring that salvation to the ends of the earth.

The Bible tells this amazing story of Salvation History in various parts of various books. Dr. Cavins’ Timeline guides you through the books and chapters you should read to grasp the entire story, from Adam to Jesus.

Another great way to read the Bible is called lectio divina. This “sacred reading” approach invites you to take a small passage and let God speak to you through it. It may be best to start with a passage from the Gospels or from the letters of Saint Paul—maybe 10-20 verses. The process of Lectio Divina involves four steps: 

Lectio (Reading): First, pray to the Holy Spirit. Then, read the passage through once slowly (out-loud, if you can). Focus on any word, phrase, or image that stands out to you.

Meditatio (Meditation): Read the passage a second time, and ask how God is communicating to you through the word, phrase or image that stood out. In what way does it apply to your life?

Oratio (Prayer): Read the passage a third time, and speak to God about the word, phrase, or image that struck you. What does it reveal about God? Is He asking you to change in response to His word? Make a resolution to be more faithful to Him.

Contemplatio (Contemplation): Sit quietly in God’s presence. Pay attention to any words, images, or memories that may surface in your thoughts—this is how God communicates in silence.

Use this method on a daily basis to work your way through a gospel or Pauline letter. You will find that God will give you insights and wisdom you never thought you could have. May God bless your efforts to know Him through His Word! Whether you are reading it to understand Salvation History and how God has worked in the past or praying with Scripture through Lectio Divina to know how God is working in the present, the Word of God is living and effective, and it can change your life!

Is there such a thing as Eucharistic Sensitivity? Perhaps this anecdote regarding Pope John Paul II can answer the question. 

During a trip to the State of Maryland, Pope John Paul II was scheduled to walk down a hallway in the archbishop’s residence. Along that hallway was the entrance to a chapel where the Blessed Sacrament was reserved. The papal organizer ensured that nothing indicated the door led to the chapel as he knew John Paul would certainly step inside to pay a visit to the Lord, thus significantly derailing the schedule.

On the day of the pilgrimage, Pope John Paul walked past the door and stopped. He wagged his finger at the papal organizer, opened the door of the chapel, entered and knelt to pray. One of the priests who witnessed the event commented in amazement, “He’s never been in this place before, never set eyes on the place, and there was nothing about the door that distinguished it in any way as a chapel. It was just one more door in a corridor of doors. But he turned right back around, he opened that door, and went into the chapel, and he prayed.”

Out of his intense relationship with the Eucharist, came the incredible gift of Eucharistic sensitivity. The late Holy Father teaches us a lesson regarding the desires of our heart. When our desire is great, our awareness of, and sensitivity to, that which we desire increases greatly. Let us pray that the good Lord helps us grow in our desire for him and inspires us to make time regularly to spend alone with Him in the Blessed Sacrament.

It’s time to wake up, show up and shine!

Saint Pope John Paul II exhorted all of us to open the door of our heart to Christ. He was inviting us to experience the fruitfulness of living our lives in the presence of God. But in today’s world, the idea of having God in your life feels like an imposition. The world takes the biblical image of God as a liberator, the one who sets us free, and distorts it into an image of someone who is against our freedom, our enjoyment and hope. But that is complete distortion.

To be fully human and to be fully alive means having God in our lives. When God is in our lives, we experience the fruits of His presence—the fruits of peace, love, joy, gentleness, and kindness—all these make us more human and alive.

The Way to Live

Jesus said “I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.” Very often in my journey with younger people, I see the pressure they experience in their lives. They work hard to get into college or university, or find a career. They have little time to live life. Life turns into a process of getting things and having things. Life is about being somewhere else. That is no way to live your life.

The way to live your life is to invite God into the midst of your life and allow Him to help you be your true self. God made us to be fully human and He delights in our humanity. God does not expect us to be spirits or angels. Jesus came into our world that is broken, full of sinners, people with sickness; a world that needs God, needs love, peace, and joy. And the fact is that we cannot have those things without God in our lives. It’s impossible for me to think of my life without God.

Unexpected Call

I was once contacted by a woman who asked if I would go and be with her husband who was in hospital. Let’s call him Peter. She was worried about how he would react to the news that his test results indicated he had only a few months to live.

I went to be with Peter. As we sat and prayed, the doctor entered. He shared the dire news and there was silence. I had prayed hard for God to be with us in this moment. Peter looked at me and asked, “Father isn’t God in this?” 

“Of course He’s in this,” I said.

“Well…” he said, “If God is in this, I can face it.”When Jesus became man and entered the reality of our world, He experienced the joys and trials of being human. He went to many of the difficult places we all go to in life. So no matter where we go, Jesus is there just ahead of us. Peter understood this. He knew Jesus was there accompanying him. No matter what he was about to go through, even death, Jesus would be with him. Jesus would understand his trial because He had gone through the worst in the garden of Gethsemane.

The Great Transition

Peter told me that he would live his last months, his last weeks with Jesus, his wife, and his children. It seemed that when he came face to face with death, he came face to face with life. Convinced that Jesus was beside him, he said, “I can now live this life, I can live the sickness, I can live the prognosis, I can live with my family.”

His wife and I entered Peter’s room that day worried about how we were going to help him. But in the end, it was he who helped us by showing us how to live life, to cherish life, and to know that wherever Jesus is, there is fullness of life. There’s nothing in our lives that cannot be touched by Jesus. There’s no place we can go, even our temptations and our weaknesses, where Jesus will not walk beside us, because he has been there, too. When you sit quietly and wonder, “Does anybody hear my thoughts? Does anybody see my tears? Does anybody really understand me and what I’m trying to achieve in life?” rest assured: the answer is yes. There is someone who understands and cares for you. 

Made to Enjoy

Your tears are not lost; your sadness is not forgotten. There’s a great phrase in the Book of Genesis. After creating Adam, God says, “It’s not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 1:18). God was talking about the need to find a companion for Adam. But I think He also was talking about something much deeper. He was talking about—our need for God’s presence in our own lives. God wants to be in your life, and it’s not good that man or woman or child be alone. We are made for communion. We are made for friendship. We are made to enjoy life together.

Saint Teresa of Avila had a vision of hell in which she saw men sitting alone in their own private prison cells, their backs to the doorway, their heads in their hands, thinking about themselves and profoundly sad. God did not create us to be alone and sad. He made us for communion with each other and fundamentally with Himself. We can be fully human only if we know we are loved. We don’t find God by going on a pilgrimage to the highest mountain or the lowest sea. We must find Him in our own souls, in our own hearts. And when we find Him there, we discover that He has come bearing fruit of joy and peace. Jesus comes to stand with us right in the midst of our lives. He comes into the brokenness, the need and poverty of our lives. All we have to do is say,

“Lord wherever I am and whatever is going on in my life, I want You to be with me. I ask that Your presence and the power of the Spirit in me make my life fruitful. I want to live life to the full. Because fullness of life is what You want for me. Amen.”

I was mad. A swirling storm of frustration and resentment threatened to infiltrate my heart. We had argued and my intense emotions clouded my heart, seeding bitterness against my beloved husband. What was happening to me? How could I feel this way about the man I love with all my heart? I was under attack by satan, the Prince of Lies and the Enemy of Marriage.

If there is one thing the devil hates, it’s the Sacrament of Marriage. Because a husband and wife mirror the powerful relational qualities of our Trinitarian God, we are under constant attack by satan. It’s true, marriage is hard and sometimes requires professional support, but many struggles are in everyday life. And it is here we find the devil most often on the prowl. He assaults us with sly temptations—suggestions of selfishness, pride, resentment—which like poison cause a toxic illness within us and in our marriage. The devil does everything he can to kill our marriage bonds because he knows that united, husband and wife are stronger, better able to recognize, attack and fight against him. And with Christ and His Church at our side we have the antidotes to fight against satan’s toxic brews.

Selfishness vs. Generoisty

Because of Original Sin, we are primed to focus on ourselves. Satan knows this and feeds us lies that we deserve special privilege and are entitled to grasp it for ourselves. He tempts us to seek only our own good. The poison of selfishness can lead to deep disconnection between spouses. Especially when disagreement or miscommunication happens, many of us are tempted to pull away from our spouses. Instead we are called to generously renew our marriage vows! So, if you find yourself retreating into selfishness, try giving an intentional sign of affection and love to your spouse. Your heart might rebel, but your actions are concrete: “I choose to love you.” 

Pride vs. Humility

We all struggle with pride and satan knows it, tempting us to become victims of any slight or misunderstanding. He wants us to coddle our wounded pride, indulge moodiness, and even give our spouse the “silent treatment.” To battle this poison, consider taking practical steps to pursue the antidote of humility. Write a list of 3 qualities in your spouse for which you are grateful. Read this list out loud and tell your spouse you are thankful for them! Humility is also a willingness to take responsibility for our part in any misunderstanding. Speaking this aloud is uncomfortable at first but building a habit of humility together protects our marriages against the poison of pride.

Resentment vs. Forgiveness

Relationships are risky. When we love, we can get hurt. But what do we do when we are offended or hurt by our spouse? For many of us, forgiveness is hard, and it is here the devil lurks. He wants us to keep a record of each offense, holding grudges deep in our hearts until we become enslaved by resentment. Instead, we are called to make an intentional choice to forgive our spouse. Jesus wants us to stop holding grudges and release our spouse and ourselves to His mercy. Living practical forgiveness in marriage takes courage. Will you choose to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt? Will you forgive your spouse in the little things?

I strive every day in my marriage to reject Satan’s sly temptations. Many times I fail. But my husband and I seek to give each other grace—forgiveness in our failures, room to grow and encouragement on our journey together. But it takes teamwork—two people committed, united in battle against satan. I believe in my marriage, and I believe in yours! Fight for your spouse and invite the Lord to shine His light into your heart and marriage. His grace and antidotes will protect your marriage from the enemy’s poisons. “Be strong and steadfast; have no fear…. for it is the LORD, your God, who marches with you; He will never fail you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

 It was my Dad who led me to discover the greatest Father of all

My Dad went home to be with his Heavenly Father on June 15, 1994. Even though he is no longer with me physically, his spirit lives on in my memory. The lessons he taught me throughout my life have helped me to become the person I am striving to be today. He instilled within me a deep respect for all people, young and old alike. Like many things in my life, I had to learn the lesson of respecting people the hard way. I recall the day; I began to talk back to my mother and even stuck out my tongue at her. My Dad was within seeing and hearing distance, and needless to say, I got a spanking and a good talking to about respecting Mom. Now some might say, it was just a childish gesture to stick out your tongue, but to Dad it was very disrespectful and needed to be confronted. I learned my lesson well to respect Mom and other adults in authority.

My Dad was a hard-working, underground miner who worked in the copper mines in Butte, Montana. He believed in hard work and supporting his family to the best of his ability. Mining was dangerous work. He was injured several times in his working career. In 1964, he was injured in a severe mining accident, ending his mining career and his ability to work again. 

This was an extremely difficult time for him and our family. He struggled to cope with the fact that he could no longer work and had to go on disability pay. For a man who was a dedicated provider, husband and father, this was devastating. Dad began to drink a lot, trying hard to drown his troubles in a bottle. However, over a period of months, something began to happen to Dad within his own heart. He quit drinking and began to read the Bible. My Dad, who had only a fifth-grade education, painstakingly began to read and absorb God’s Word into his heart. Day after day, hour-by-hour, he studied and meditated on God’s Word. God changed my Dad’s heart. He began to live each day, with the love of God in his heart.

He enjoyed life to the fullest despite enduring many heartbreaking times, including the loss of a daughter in a car accident when she was 18. My folks were blessed with four grandsons and one granddaughter. As a Grandpa, he had no favorites. Each grandchild felt as if he or she was the apple of Grandpa’s eye. 

Even though the mining accident took away his ability to work, it turned out to be a wonderful blessing for all of us. He had time to spend with each grandchild and give them his full attention and love. Dad taught each of his grandsons how to drive his old Datsun pickup many years before they could legally drive. His mining accident left him with a very noticeable limp which his grandsons all tried to imitate by walking just like Grandpa. It was quite a sight to see Dad and his grandsons walking down the road together—all with obvious limps. They all looked up to Grandpa and wanted to be just like him. He had lots of patience, but best of all, he was took the time to be with each of them, enjoying every moment of the experience.

As a married woman with children of my own, many times I would go to my Dad for advice and encouragement. He would listen with his heart, trying not to judge, but would always encourage me to pray and trust in God to work things out. Through his example, I began to read the Bible too. I have so many precious memories of my Dad. But the most important thing he instilled in me was to place myself daily in the loving presence of my Heavenly Father so I could learn from the greatest Father of them all.

En route with the three Magi and be amazed!

The Epiphany is a feast of light. We hear from the prophet Isaiah, “Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you” (Isaiah 60:1). We look to the actions of the Magi to guide our journey to the Lord Jesus, who is revealed as the light and salvation of the world. If we want to encounter Jesus too, we should pay attention to what the Magi did. What did they do? Three actions: they looked up to see the star; they realized what it meant and left their homes and activities to set out towards the light; and, they brought valuable gifts to worship Him. 

Look Up

This is where the journey begins. Have you ever wondered why the Magi alone saw the star, and realized its significance? Perhaps few people were looking up to the heavens, because their gaze was focused on the ground with their own immediate concerns. I wonder how many of us look up to the sky? How many of us are like the Psalmist who says, “My soul looks for the Lord more than sentinels for daybreak…” (Psalms 130:6), or are we more like, “Hey, it’s enough that I have good health, a solid bank account and stock portfolio, access to a 5G network, and a little entertainment, especially on Sunday in which I can watch wall-to-wall football games!” Do we know how to long for God, to expect the freshness that he brings to life, or do we let ourselves be swept along by the frenetic pace of our lives? The Magi understood that to truly be alive, we need lofty goals—we need to dream big!—and we need to keep looking up. 

Get Going

The second thing the Magi did, which is essential to finding Jesus, is to get up and begin the journey. When we stand before Jesus, we have a disconcerting either-or choice: is he Emmanuel, God among us, or is He not? If He is, then we have an obligation to give Him our total, uncompromised commitment so that our lives revolve around Him. Following His star is a decision to move towards Him and to advance steadfastly on the way He laid out for us. Although our journey is often two steps forward, one step backwards, the key is to keep our gaze on Jesus, pick ourselves up with His aid when we fall flat, and keep moving forward. 

However, we cannot do that without getting off our couches, detaching ourselves from our comfort and security, and setting out instead of standing still. Jesus makes demands: He says that we are either for Him or against Him. In the spiritual path, there are only two directions: we’re either moving towards God or away from Him. If we want to move towards Jesus, we have to overcome our fear of taking risks, our self-satisfaction, and our laziness. Put simply, we have to take risks, to let go of our self-referential lifestyle if we are going to find the Child. But, those risks are worth it because when we find the Child, we’ll discover His tenderness and love and rediscover our true identity.

Bring Gifts 

At the end of their long journey, the Magi do as God does: they bestow gifts. God’s ultimate gift is His divine life, which He invites us to share for eternity. They offer what is most valuable for them: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. These gifts represent what St. John Paul II calls The Law of the Gift: we abide in an authentic relationship with God when we live how God operates with self-giving love. The best gift you can give to Jesus is your very life! Give freely, without reservations—don’t hold back, keeping something for yourself. Give without expecting anything in return—including the reward of Heaven! This is the truest sign that you have found Jesus in your life. For he says: “The gift you have received, give freely as a gift” (Matthew 10:8): to do good towards others without counting the cost, even when unasked, even when you get nothing in return, even when it is unpleasant. That is what God wants of you because that’s how God relates to us! Look at how God comes to us: as a Child—He became small for our sake. As we celebrate the Epiphany, let us look at our hands: are they empty of self-giving or are we offering the free gift of ourselves without expecting anything in return. And, let us ask Jesus: “Lord, send forth your Spirit that I may be renewed; that I may rediscover the joy of giving.”

Last week, I had the great good fortune to sit down for a Zoom interview with Jordan Peterson, Jonathan Pageau, and John Vervaeke. As I’m sure you know, Peterson, Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, is one of the most influential figures in the culture today. Pageau is an artist and iconographer working in the Orthodox Christian tradition, and Vervaeke is a professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto. All three of these gentlemen have a powerful presence on social media. The topic of our conversation was a theme that preoccupies all four of us—namely, the crisis of meaning in our culture, especially among the young. To kick things off, Peterson asked each of us to give our definition of meaning and, more specifically, of religious meaning. When my time came, I offered this: to live a meaningful life is to be in purposive relationship to value, and to live a religiously meaningful life is to be in purposive relationship to the summum bonum, or the supreme value. 

Following the prompts of Dietrich von Hildebrand, I argued that certain values—epistemic, moral, and aesthetic—appear in the world, and they draw us out of ourselves, calling us to honor them and to integrate them into our lives. So, mathematical and philosophical truths beguile the mind and set it on a journey of discovery; moral truths, on display in the saints and heroes of the tradition, stir the will into imitative action; and artistic beauty—a Cézanne still-life, a Beethoven sonata, Whitman’s Leaves of Grass—stops us in our tracks and compels us to wonder and, in turn, to create. To order one’s life in such a way that one consistently seeks such values is to have a properly meaningful life. 

Now, I continued, the perceptive soul intuits that there is a transcendent source of these values: a supreme or unconditioned goodness, truth, and beauty. The fully meaningful life is one that is dedicated, finally, to that reality. Thus, Plato said that the culminating point of the philosophical enterprise is discovering, beyond all particular goods, the “form of the good”; Aristotle said that the highest life consists in contemplating the prime mover; and the Bible speaks of loving the Lord our God with our whole soul, our whole mind, our whole strength. Jordan Peterson, echoing Thomas Aquinas, put it as follows: Every particular act of the will is predicated upon some value, some concrete good. But that value nests in a higher value or set of values, which in turn nests in a still higher one. We come, he said, eventually, to some supreme good that determines and orders all of the subordinate goods that we seek. 

Though we articulated the theme in different ways and according to our various areas of expertise, all four of us said that the “wisdom tradition,” which classically presented and defended these truths, has been largely occluded in the culture today, and this occlusion has contributed mightily to the crisis of meaning. Much has contributed to this problem, but we put emphasis especially on two causes: scientism and the postmodern suspicion of the very language of value. Scientism, the reduction of all legitimate knowledge to the scientific form of knowledge, effectively renders claims of value unserious, merely subjective, expressive of feeling but not of objective truth. Combined with this reductionism is the conviction, baked into the brains of so many young people today, that claims truth and value are simply disguised attempts to prop up the power of those who are making them or to sustain a corrupt institutional superstructure. Accordingly, these assertions have to be demythologized, dismantled, and deconstructed. And along with this cultural assault on the realm of values, we have witnessed the failure of many of the great institutions of the culture, including and especially the religious institutions, to present this realm in a convincing and compelling manner. Far too often, contemporary religion has turned into superficial political advocacy or a pandering echo of the prejudices of the environing culture. 

So, what do we need for a meaningful life? From my perspective, I said, we need great Catholic scholars, who understand our intellectual tradition thoroughly and who believe in it, are not ashamed of it—and who are ready to enter into respectful but critical conversation with secularity. We need great Catholic artists, who reverence Dante, Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Mozart, Hopkins, and Chesterton, and who are also on point to produce fresh works of art, imbued with the Catholic sensibility. And we need, above all, great Catholic saints, who show concretely what it looks like to live one’s life in purposive relation to the summum bonum. We can and should blame the culture of modernity for producing the desert of meaninglessness in which so many today wander, but we keepers of the religious flame ought to take responsibility too, acknowledging our failures and resolving to pick up our game. 

For people today will not enter into relationship with values and with the supreme value unless they can find mentors and masters to show them how.

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© ARTICLE originally appeared at wordonfire.org. Reprinted with permission.

Here’s a simple technique to stay focused on God’s plan for your life

A few years ago, at a New Year’s Day Mass celebrating the Solemnity of Mary the Mother of God, the priest encouraged us to ask the Blessed Mother for a “word” for the coming year. Maybe this would be a special grace that she wanted to give us, or a re-focusing word for our mission in life, or a virtue that she wanted to help us grow in. The choice of the word was up to her—our role was to pray and receive that word, and then let her unpack its meaning for us throughout the coming year. The priest paused and gave us all some time to pray. I asked Our Lady for the ‘word’ she had for me and the word “humility” came clearly to mind. As that year unfolded, I learned a lot from Mary about humility, and I know she helped me to grow in this virtue that she lived so beautifully in her life. 

The following year, the word I received was “contentment.” In the subsequent months, Mary helped me learn what St. Paul talks about in Philippians 4:11, “Not that I complain of want; for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content.” Asking the Blessed Mother for this annual theme word has proved a fruitful practice for me in my spiritual life. So at the start of each New Year, I pray and ask Our Lady to give me her special “word” for the year ahead. 

For this past year of 2021, my word has been “intercession.” In retrospect, I can see how appropriate this theme was for me as I am in a season of being the primary caregiver for my elderly mother. My life now revolves around caring for her, which is a privilege and honor, but it has also required me to shrink my outside involvement with people and ministries that I used to be a part of. Sometimes it can feel isolating and lonely. As my mom ages, we go to more doctor’s appointments, physical therapy sessions, wellness checkups, etc. and her emotional needs require delicate handling and reassurances. At the end of the day, I don’t have much reserve or inner bandwidth left.

But in quiet moments during car rides, or in examination rooms waiting on the doctors, I can intercede for people. I let the Lord bring to mind those He wants me to pray for — friends, family members, ministry leaders in our non-profit organization, the people we serve, etc. I pray for each person as they float through my thoughts. I feel the Lord’s tender love for them, His desire to bless and heal and help them. It comforts my heart to tap into the wellsprings of love and mercy that the Good Shepherd has for His sheep. 

And somehow, I feel more connected to people as I cooperate with Mary in this mission that she brought into focus by giving me my “word” for this year. Instead of feeling isolated or on the fringe, a deep sense of our inner connectedness in the Body of Christ fills my heart. As we near the close of this year and the beginning of 2022, I encourage you to adopt this practice that the priest recommended. Take some time in quiet prayer and ask Our Lady to give you her “word” for you for this New Year. Receive it, and then ask her to help you understand what she means by it, how it will help you better live out God’s plan for your life, and how you can bless other people by embracing it. You may find that this simple prayer and practice will bring deep fruitfulness to your spiritual life, just as I have.

That day I was feeling desperate and lonely but, little did I know, something special was about to happen…

When Pope Francis declared the “Year of Saint Joseph” starting from 8th December 2020, I recalled the day when my mother gave me a beautiful statue of this great Saint which I placed with deep reverence in my prayer corner. Over the years, I have prayed numerous novenas to Saint Joseph, but I always had a nagging feeling that he wasn’t really aware of my prayers. As time passed, I took very little notice of him.

Last year, one of my friends who is also a priest advised me to do a 30 day Prayer to Saint Joseph which I did together with the 33 day Consecration to Saint Joseph (by Father Donald H. Calloway). On the last day of the consecration, I had no idea that something special was about to happen in my life. It was a Sunday. I was feeling very depressed, although it’s absolutely not in my nature to be gloomy. But that day was very different. So right after Holy Mass, I decided to go to Adoration, seeking some relief before the Blessed Sacrament, for I had confidence that anyone who prays from the deepest recesses of their heart will always find consolation there.

Love from Above

On my way, while I waited in the U-Bahn (the underground metro rail services in Munich), I happened to notice a lady crying uncontrollably. I was deeply moved and wanted to console her. Her loud laments had attracted attention and everyone was staring at her, which put off my inclination to go and speak to her. After a while, she got up to go, but left her scarf behind. Now I didn’t have any option but to go after her. As I gave the scarf back, I told her, “Don’t cry…you are not alone. Jesus loves you and He wants to help you. Speak to Him about all your troubles…He will surely help you.” I also gave her some money. Then she asked me if I could hold her in my arms. I was a bit reluctant, but pushed it all aside, gave her a warm hug and softly touched her cheeks. I surprised myself by this act because that day I was feeling very empty and low in Spirit. And truly I can say that love wasn’t from me. It was Jesus who reached out to her!

Finally, when I reached the church Herzogspitalkirche for Adoration, I pleaded for God’s help and for a sign that He is in control. As I completed my Saint Joseph prayer and the consecration, I lit a candle in front of statue of Saint Joseph. Then I simply asked Saint Joseph whether he really cared for me, musing over why he never responded to me.

The Big Smile

On my way back to the train, a lady stopped me in the street. She looked like she was in her 50’s and that was the first and last time I saw her, but what she said to me still rings in my ears. As I looked at her wondering what she wanted from me, she suddenly exclaimed with a big smile on her face “Oh! Saint Joseph loves you so much, you have no idea.”

I was bewildered and I asked her to repeat what she said. I wanted to hear it again so much and the feeling I had is beyond words. That moment I knew that I am never alone. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks as I told her that I had been praying and asking for a sign. With a mesmerizing smile she replied, “It’s the HOLY SPIRIT my dear…”

Then she asked, “Do you know what Saint Joseph loves the most about you?” I gazed back at her, bemused. Touching my cheeks softly (exactly as I had done to the lady in the metro earlier) she whispered, “It’s your soft and HUMBLE heart.” Then she left.

I have never seen this nice lady before or since, which was unusual because mostly in our churches we know each other, but I can still vividly remember how sweet and full of joy she was.

That day I felt so desperate that I really needed to feel that GOD really loved and cared for me. My worries were put to rest by the message from Saint Joseph who had been with me all those years even though I had often ignored him.

I firmly believe that the incident at the metro earlier that day was very much linked to my own encounter with this kind lady. She gave me a word of knowledge. Whatever we do for others, we do it for Jesus, even if we don’t feel like doing it. Jesus is even happier when we step out of our comfort zone to reach out to others. Ever since then, I seek the powerful intercession of my dear Saint Joseph every day, without fail!

Question: I am starting to wonder if I will ever be married. I can’t fi nd a good boyfriend who is faithful to Christ. How can I find a good future spouse—and how will I know that he is “the one”?

In my work with youth and young adults, I find this to be a common struggle: how to find a good, faith-filled spouse in today’s world. I always laugh because at my young adult group, all the girls complain to me, “There are no good guys who I want to date!” Then the guys complain, “There are no good girls who I want to date!” Sometimes I feel like I should just be the matchmaker and put them together!

The best piece of dating advice I ever heard was from a priest who said, “Start running after Jesus. Once you’ve been running after Jesus for a while, look around and see who’s running with you. Those are the people you should date.” In other words, pursue Christ first—and seek a spouse who is also pursuing Christ first.

But where do you find such a spouse? Not at the bar, usually—but many cities have wonderful Catholic young adult groups where you can meet other people who are serious about Christ and serious about finding a spouse. Get involved, because I guarantee you will find others who are discerning marriage and looking just like you.

If you don’t have a local Catholic young adult group, you could either start one or seek out other young adults by volunteering at your parish or other charitable locations. Any young adult who volunteers their time is likely to have their priorities in the right order!

Catholic online dating sites can also be fruitful places to find a spouse. My sister met her husband on CatholicMatch.com, and I know many other young people who have found similar success online. When online, just be honest about who you are, and make sure that you have the same values as the other person (not everyone on Catholic dating sites is seriously Catholic—some may be more “culturally” Catholic than authentically Catholic and serious about the Lord).

A good relationship requires that the couple share similar values (faith, money, children, family), that they enjoy being together and enjoy similar activities, and, of course, that they are attracted to each other. If these things are present—and you sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in the relationship—then you should know that this is “the one”! I do not believe that God has created only one “soul-mate” for each of us; rather, there are probably many individuals with whom someone could be compatible and happy. If you feel peaceful in the relationship, if it is centered on Christ, if you love being with each other and your personalities and interests jibe, then you’ve probably found the person God is calling you to marry! God doesn’t usually put up “signs” that say, “This Is the Person You Should Marry!” Rather, the signs God gives are the compatibility in your relationship and your desire to help each other get to Heaven!

I’d never met him before… and yet he said I saved his life…

It was the eve of the 4th of July. Bella, my fifteen-year old daughter and several of her friends were upstairs playing video games. They barreled down the stairs and came into the kitchen where my husband and I were chatting.

“Mom, we are all hungry. Can you make some grilled cheese sandwiches for us?” Bella asked.

“Sure,” I said.

“Randy wants to ask you a question,” Bella said.

Randy walked toward the stove.

“You’ve been here once before, haven’t you?” I said to him as I grabbed a pan and turned on the stove.

“Yes, a month or so ago,” he replied with a huge warm smile.

“That’s right. Where are you from?” I asked.

“Well my family is from Morocco,” he said.

The Trigger

Randy had a sweet, kind presence. I wasn’t sure if he went to high school with Bella or if they had met through social media, football games or a party.

“Wow, how exotic,” I said with a big grin. “So do you go to Bella’s school?”

“No,” he said. “We met this summer on the beach.”

“Oh, okay, what’s your question Randy?”

“Did you talk my mom out of an abortion when she was pregnant with me?”

I was taken completely off-guard. Who is he? Where does he live, I wondered as I stared at him, wracking my brain to recall if I’d had an interaction with his mother long ago.

I was certain it couldn’t have been me until I looked at Bella and Randy standing side by side. Suddenly, I recalled an interaction with a young woman when I was pregnant with Bella.

“What is your mother’s name?” I asked.

“Maryam,” he said.

Chills ran down my spine. How on earth did her son end up in my kitchen …and friends with Bella? I looked him in the face.

“Yes, I did.” I said.

Randy rushed over to me and wrapped his arms around me. He squeezed me tightly.

“You saved my life. You saved my life. Thank you. Thank you,” he kept saying.

We stood in the kitchen locked in a hug for several minutes.

Catch Up

I turned to my husband, “Can you believe this?”

“No, I can’t,” he said, staring in disbelief.

Randy called his mom and filled her in on our conversation. He then handed me the phone.

“I asked God to help me find you again and He did! Can you believe Randy and Bella are friends,” Maryam said as her voice cracked with emotion.

“I can’t believe any of this Maryam. Truly, I’m overwhelmed,” I said.

Before we hung up the phone, we made plans to get together to ‘catch up’ on the last fifteen years of our lives.

My husband kept shaking his head.

“I remember when you came home that night. I told you were crazy because there was no way you would talk her out of an abortion,” he said.

I thought back to that night almost sixteen years ago. It was a Saturday, and I was at dinner with my sisters and some friends. I sat at the head of the table because we were celebrating my fourth pregnancy. Our waitress was a beautiful, elegant dark haired young woman who was also pregnant.

A Treasure Within

After dinner, the waitress handed me my leftovers and then squatted down beside me and whispered, “I wish I could celebrate my pregnancy too, but I can’t. I have an abortion scheduled this coming Wednesday morning.”

I was shocked and saddened.

“Why are you having an abortion?” I asked.

“I am not married, and in my home country my parents will be exiled from their town and lose their business if anyone finds out their daughter is unmarried with a baby.”

“That’s terrible, but how will they know?”

“They will know. You don’t understand,” she said.

“You’re right, I can’t possibly understand, but what I do know is that God wants you to have this baby, or He wouldn’t have given it to you.”

“I am not Christian like you, I am Muslim. I don’t have the same God as you,” she said.

“Yes, you do. There is only one God,” I said.

“My boyfriend and I are struggling; things are very bad between us.”

“I’m sorry you are struggling. I have three other children. When my oldest was diagnosed with a rare and deadly disease early on, we could not imagine that he would still be with us today. And now at 42 I’m pregnant with my fourth child and facing my fourth cesarean section. But despite that, I can tell you that no matter what happens with your boyfriend, and despite your difficult situation, this child will be your treasure, you will see.”

“I have no-one, I can’t do this.”

“You have me. Give me your number and I will call you in the morning.”

I looked at her nametag as she quickly jotted down her cell phone number on my to-go box and we said our goodbyes.

I called Maryam the next morning. She explained her financial situation and shared some of the details of her relationship with her boyfriend. I understood why she thought her only way out was an abortion. I couldn’t imagine being in her predicament. I told her about a local pregnancy center and gave her their phone number.

Against All Odds

The day before her scheduled abortion, I called Maryam again. She shared the amazing news that the pregnancy center was going to help her and that she had cancelled her abortion. We continued to talk off and on throughout our pregnancies, but after our babies were born, we lost contact with each other.

I looked at Randy.

“Your mom was a beautiful young woman who became pregnant and found herself in a hopeless mess. The night we met, she felt alone, lost, and full of shame. All I did was remind her that God doesn’t build houses of shame, people do. He builds houses of grace, and He wanted to give her an unrepeatable treasure in you. Your mom’s courage to have you against all odds was heroic. I’m grateful I was one of the small pieces God brought together through a chance encounter.”

I turned to Bella.

“And you were an important part of it too, because Maryam would never have confided in me if I wasn’t pregnant too.”

Bella’s beautiful almond-shaped eyes opened wide as she smiled with pride.

Loving Maryam and listening to her that night required very little of me. After all, she wasn’t my unmarried, pregnant daughter. I wondered if I would have reacted the same if it had been my daughter? My interaction with Maryam challenges me to be a mom who responds to the mistakes and failings of my children with grace and belief in their goodness rather than shame and judgment. I want to be the person they come to when they are in trouble so I can remind them that they are not their mistakes. I want them to know that I have made many messes in my life through my mistakes, failings and sins, but through them I have experienced the redeeming and transforming love of God, and they can too.