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Sep 28, 2019 3008 Michelle Leon
Evangelize

Rising to a New Life

In times of great distress and loss would you still hold on to God?

Awaiting Love

I would like to share a small piece of my life in testimony to Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Like many couples, my husband and I had married planning to raise a family and modestly prayed for the grace to nurture them in holiness so that they could become great saints. However, during the early years of our marriage, we delayed pregnancy, because we believed our love for each other needed to mature before we could enter parenthood. Although we barely acknowledged God’s plans for us, when we felt it was “the right time”, we expected Him to readily supply the gift of a child.

Our happiness knew no bounds when we discovered that I was pregnant! The joyful days we shared with our beloved child sustained us when that short life on earth ended in miscarriage. Despite our devastating grief, my husband and I grew stronger in faith and hope.

About ten months later, our journey into parenthood took another turn when we were blessed with our second pregnancy. We were elated that God had favored us by allowing our love to bear fruit again! Our parents were overjoyed at the long-awaited answer to their prayer on the auspicious Feast of Divine Mercy. I remember how my husband and I thanked the Lord before the Blessed Sacrament for endowing us with His abundant graces, in spite of our unworthiness.

Turn of Life

We booked our appointment with the OBGYN the following week and looked forward to seeing our precious child at the first ultrasound. The mixed emotions of anxiety and excitement, like butterflies wobbling inside me as we waited, are still fresh in my memory. As the doctor prepared for the ultrasound, I constantly prayed with my eyes closed. Much to our consternation, the doctor could not confirm the presence of our child , giving us two possibilities – we had either walked in too early, or it could be an Ectopic Pregnancy, which can be life-threatening.

Although we had never heard about ectopic pregnancy, we turned to the Lord with faith, hoping that he could turn the situation around. For what is impossible for man is possible with God! I had been feeling a slight stomach ache due to gastric trouble, I thought since the pain wasn’t excruciating. It was evening before we got home after completing all the blood tests. Suddenly, I started feeling suffocated and the pain in my stomach became excruciating. I did not know what was happening to me, but my husband wasted no time summoning emergency care. They rushed me to the nearest hospital where he was informed that immediate surgery was required.

Shocked beyond Grief

My husband was shocked into silence. He began to question God, “What wrong have we done to be tested like this?” A storm of random thoughts started popping through his head, but at the same time he felt blank and desolate. Once the surgery started, one of our friends joined him and they began interceding for me, calling out to Mama Mary for help in the Holy Rosary. They continued to pray the Rosary until the doctor emerged with the good news that the operation was successful. Although she had only seen such a complicated case twice in her twenty years of medical practice, I had miraculously survived. My left fallopian tube had ruptured, resulting in the loss of half my blood volume and the consequent struggle for the doctors to maintain my heartbeat.

Afterwards, I had to be kept intubated in the ICU for almost a day without being allowed even a single drop of water. In spite of my torment, I took the chance to share my suffering with Jesus Christ on the cross when He cried out, “I Thirst”. I offered up my sacrifice for the reparation of sins, particularly that of abortion, and other evils spreading throughout the world.

Finding Solace

Although this cross is very heavy for me and my husband, God has never, ever forsake us. Throughout this ordeal He has consoled us through His Holy Spirit, sending us holy people to give us solace in our distress. Truly, it was God speaking to us through them. My husband and I wrestled with God for almost a week, until we realized how grateful we should be for my deliverance
from imminent death, rather than crying over what we had lost. We committed our little one to the Lord and I started to speedily heal, by God’s grace, physically, mentally and spiritually.

I am certain that the Lord offers immeasurable grace where there is intense suffering. Jesus knows our anguish and looks at us with compassion and tenderness from His cross. We know that He is doing something tremendous in our lives through this pain and hardship if we just rest at His feet and glorify Him through our wounds. We completely trust Our Lord that He will bless our marriage with fruitfulness in His time if we patiently surrender ourselves totally to Him without reserve. Nothing is impossible with our Almighty God. To the Lord Jesus be all Glory and Honor, now and forever, Amen.

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Michelle Leon

Michelle Leon is a legal advocate by profession. Currently she is more engaged with her mission on evangelization. Michelle together with her very loving husband leads a very devout Catholic life.

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