Tolkien Speaks: The Secrets to a Happy Marriage

My dog enjoys going for walks, but he wants to be in control. He doesn’t pay attention to my cues. He doesn’t care where I want to go; instead, he goes wherever he wants to. I keep him on a short leash because he tends to chase after cars. If I allowed him to do whatever he wanted, he would get hurt. My dog is stubborn. He pulls and tugs with all his strength. He doesn’t understand that I am only trying to protect him. I wonder if I am as unyielding as my dog. The Lord guides me along the best pathway for my life. He advises and watches over me. Yet, sometimes, I am like a senseless animal that needs a bit and bridle to be kept in check. I feel I know what is best for me. I don’t want to wait for God’s timing. I want to chase my desires and follow my impulses. I am reluctant to stay calmly by God’s side and seek His will in all things. Lord, train me to yield to You. Teach me to trust that You know what is best although it may not be what I want. Help me want to please You more than anything else. May I enjoy walking by Your side faithfully and attentively as You lead me along the best pathway for my life. 

Adulthood is scary, but with the right company, you can learn to thrive in grace and strength! Jesus treasured friendship and hand-picked 12 men to walk closely with Him and learn from Him. Of course, there were also women friends. Remember the sisters, Mary and Martha? And Mary Magdalene? The fact that the Gospels mention these friendships reveals that the people in the fabric of our lives are very important. Jesus even called His disciples friends! “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15) It is an honor and elevation to be called a friend of His! In the same way, it’s important for us to recognize that being a friend to one another is an honor. It is a role to be taken seriously. As Jesus reminds us: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”(Matthew 25:40) Your presence, or lack of it, is impactful to another. Your actions, support, and prayers can make an immense imprint on the life of another person. It is a role to steward well, as with any of the roles we have been entrusted. A Gift Par Excellence In adulthood, many lament at the lack of friendship or the difficulty of making friends. The ache of a heart longing for dear friends is very real. Friendship is truly a gift, a gift that one should most definitely pray for. The impact of true Christian friendship on a person’s life is very deep. So it is important to carefully ‘choose’ the people with whom you entrust this title. A friend who does not share the same values can be closer to an enemy. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” The lives of the Saints are a constant encouragement as we often hear about one Saint being friends with another! Saint Francis and Saint Clare are often talked about as friends who partnered in purpose and spirituality, enriching one another's lives. So were Saint Teresa of Avila and Saint John of the Cross. Saint John Paul II and Mother Teresa are 20th-century models. True friends will spur us on to become the best versions of ourselves. Led by Faith I attribute much of my growth and life successes to being surrounded by the right friends. The people closest to me have a clear spiritual vision. They have provided encouragement right on time, and I know that they are always available for prayer support, whether that be interceding for me in their own time or dropping everything to pray with me. A Christ-focused friend will often know when you need prayers. I have a friend who can sense the area of my life that I need prayers for. She often shares what the Holy Spirit has told her in prayer. Conversations with her are always encouraging and they provide me with strength and confirmation. I can recall numerous times when a friend sent a Scripture verse right on time or a word from the Holy Spirit that resonated perfectly with me. On too many occasions to count, I’ve had a text message from a friend letting me know that they felt led to pray for me. These mostly come when I am in the midst of making very large life decisions or facing some huge internal struggle. There was a time when I felt very stuck in life; it seemed that I was making no progress. A dear friend sent me a Word that they believed God was doing something very special behind the scenes in my life. I felt the strength to go on and realized that God was up to something, even though I was feeling discouraged. Days after that, things started clicking into place–desires that I had prayed for over many years began to manifest in my life! A true friend will be willing to intercede with and for you as you fight your battles. They will celebrate the victories of God in your life and be concerned for your spiritual welfare more than any other aspects of your life. But remember, there are also times when you will need to let a friend know that you are in need of prayers. I know that my life would look very different if it were not for my friends who are in tune with the Holy Spirit. Walking with others on the same journey of surrendering to Christ has had clear benefits. A shared vision of aiming for Eternal life and holiness in this life is valuable in friendship. I’ve had the honor of being helped and helping friends carry their crosses in life, sharing joys, and praising God together. Enrich Your Life Are you in a period of life where you are longing for more friends? Pray to meet them! Keep your eyes open for the unexpected ways they come into your life. If you’re in a season of life where you have friends, but feel distant, start by sending a message or calling a friend who has been in your thoughts lately. Open your heart to friendship. Too many friendships have withered and never had a chance to fully blossom due to the busyness of one or both parties. Friendship, like any other relationship, requires sacrifices. It will look different in different seasons. Yet, it is a tremendous blessing and gift from God. Building and maintaining friendships is an investment. Enduring friendships can add so much enrichment and value to your life. Cherish the gift of a good friend, and treasure greatly the title of a friend when it is bestowed upon you. Jesus, please help us to be true and faithful friends to others. Send us the friends with whom we can walk steadily toward You. Amen!

Christmas is not just a day but a season of celebrating joy and hope. Hanging lights, stars, and Christmas trees make the occasion colorful, but it is undoubtedly incomplete without a nativity scene. Have you ever wondered how the tradition of staging the nativity scene began? Greccio, a small town in Italy, was home to peasants who led a peaceful agricultural life. More than 800 years ago, Brother Francis, returning from a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, obtained permission from Pope Honorius III to re-enact the birth of Jesus, the scene of which he had just visited. So on Christmas Eve of 1223, inside a cave in Greccio, villagers disguised as Saint Joseph and Mother Mary acted out the historical event that only Bethlehem had seen. Francis welcomed more life to the holy night act with a rag doll representing the Christ Child; he even brought an ox and a donkey, giving the villagers a visual treat. He then stood before the manger, full of devotion and piety, his face bathed in tears and radiant with joy; the Holy Gospel was chanted, and he preached about the nativity of the poor King. Unable to even utter His name for the tenderness of His love, Francis called Him the Babe of Bethlehem. Master John of Greccio, a valiant soldier and a dear friend of Brother Francis, who, for the love of Christ, had left the worldly affairs, witnessed Francis cradling a beautiful infant in his arms so gently as if he feared the baby might wake up. Doubtless, the baby was the Christ Child Himself because a trail of miracles followed the scene. It is said that the hay of that manger, being preserved by the people, miraculously cured the cattle of many diseases and other pestilences! Brother Francis turned out to be none other than Saint Francis of Assisi, one of the most famous Saints in the Church’s history, whose very name excites every heart with the compassionate love of Christ!

I told my best friend: “The Church could really use someone like you in this broken world…” Somewhere, it resonated deep. My best friend and I met three years ago. We didn't become very close right away because, for starters, Dave takes a good while to warm up to people, and more importantly, people here in prison are a lot more guarded than those on the outside. Over time, however, that all changed, and Dave has since become my closest ally. Not long after I met Dave, it became clear to him that I was very serious about my Catholic faith. I had a Crucifix and pictures of Saints hanging on the wall of my cell. I watched and participated in Mass on television, and to be honest, I brought the topic up quite frequently. At first, Dave didn't make any comments or show much interest in my faith; he would just politely nod his head and move on, but something was telling me that I shouldn't let that hinder me from sharing all about what I believed and telling stories about the miracles and peace that I'd received directly from being Catholic. Returning to the Roots As time progressed and I became closer to Dave, he began to open up a little bit more about his own faith. He told me he was a Christian but he hadn't really been to services in years, partly because he had been locked in a cell for so long, unable to move around the prison compound. But as I dug deeper, I found out, to my astonishment, that Dave was actually raised as a Catholic. Not only that, but he had received all three Rites of Initiation! I immediately began to ask him question after question and learned a lot more about him and his faith journey. Of the many things I discovered, one really stood out. To this very day, Dave has had a fascination with the Catholic knights of old. Because of that, the favorite church he had ever attended was a Catholic church that was round in shape, reminiscent of the Knights Templar churches. I could sense through this fascination that there was still some interest in the Church, even if it was just a small one. Talking to Dave about a possible return to his roots was not as promising, however. Let me be clear—he was never rude or aggressive, but he didn't seem to have any desire for the Sacraments. He was resigned to his habits, and they didn't include Catholicism, and unfortunately, the Church had all but forgotten about him. A Glimmer of Hope As the months went on, Dave would ask little questions about the Church. Nothing big, just showing a bit more interest as time ticked by. Of course, I didn't want to make him feel pressured, so I patiently and prayerfully continued my mission to bring him back to the Church. I could sense that there was more of a glimmer of hope than before and I would sometimes say to him: "You know Dave, the Church could really use someone like you in this broken world." He never would answer me, only musing over my words silently, but for Dave, a lot is said in his silence. A few weeks ago, a group of Catholic deacons came to visit with us in our cells. They brought Communion for Catholics, and literature for everyone, and went from cell to cell asking if people would like to pray with them. Sometime after they left, Dave came to my cell and told me about how one of the men had surprised him because they spoke about a particular round shaped church the man was a parishioner of. This happened to be the very same one Dave had gone to as a kid. He said the man had told him he hoped to see him there one day. The next thing Dave told me was a big surprise: "You know, I've been thinking about it, and I might like to go back to the Catholic Church." I was dumbfounded. I'd been waiting for this type of interest for literally three years, and I knew it was possible it would never come. I’d prayed for it time and again. I didn't know what to say. After a prolonged silence, I asked him: "Would you be interested in receiving Communion again?" He said he was. The Open Door At 15, Dave was charged as an adult and sentenced to life in prison. He is now 48. When he went to prison as a mere child, he tried to fit into a world of adult criminals. There's been plenty of violence and bloodshed in his story. Most people who go down his road are so jaded in the end that it seems nothing can bring them back, but now, Dave was interested. Praise God! Last week, Dave received Communion for the first time in 33 years. He had never once received Jesus in prison, though it had been available all the time. He had been forgotten in the system. Due to the impossibility of receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation, he did not go to Confession first but was allowed to receive Communion circumstantially. He is in a maximum-security cell block and has the highest security risk rating, so they have trouble allowing a priest to visit one-on-one. So, he made a thorough examination of conscience and an act of contrition and will make a Confession at the first opportunity. Never Forgotten There are innumerable forgotten people all over the world. There are men, women, and even children in your own community who need someone to just be a friend and share their love and the faith Christ has given us in His Church. Let's continue to spread the Good News. If you have been away from the Church and Her life-giving Sacraments, there is an open invitation for healing starting with the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The first step back into fellowship with God and His Church is confessing our sins, but remember, while we are certainly confessing our sins to God, even more so, God is using this time to confess to us in a very special way, His forgiveness and love. Nothing is too big to be forgiven, and nothing is too great to stand in the way of God's healing; the door is always open to forgiveness and mercy. Contact a local church or parish priest and make plans to attend the next scheduled Sacrament of Reconciliation. Be sure to show up a little early in case others are waiting as well. You'll be glad you've made this step, and the Angels and Saints in Heaven will rejoice at your homecoming.