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Feb 14, 2016 1338 Mitchell Kalpakgian, Ph.D.
Evangelize

The Love Story God Intended

“Thus, in every true love song of engaged or married couples one can catch a glimpse of God’s Love Song, and this glimpse leaves the seer fascinated.” –Angelo Cardinal Comastri in the forward to “The Journey of Our Love”

What is so precious about love letters? Why are they preserved, read and re-read? Why do lovers write every day even with nothing important to say? Why are the letters published when they are private? What do the love letters of a canonized saint and a saintly husband have to teach a contemporary society that no longer honors purity, courtship, marriage, children and the indissolubility of marriage?

They teach the entire book of love, lessons on the miracle of love, the happiness and joy of marriage, the gift of self, the blessing of children, and the holiness of the marital bond. They explain what Christ meant when He said to the Pharisees when they asked about divorce: “It was not so from the beginning.” What God intended from the beginning, the love story of Gianna and Pietro Molla incarnates and illuminates.

The book entitled, “The Journey of Our Love,” a collection of the letters of Saint Gianna Beretta and her husband Pietro Molla, offers a paradigm of a romantic love story, an example of sacramental love, and a model of family life that offer the restoration of traditional virtues to an age that has lost the most fundamental understanding of the nature of human love, the noble vocation of marriage, and the riches of family life.

In 1954, a young physician of thirty-three years and an engineer who was forty-two met accidentally for a third time at a dinner where they were seated across from each other, an occasion for introduction, conversation, and friendship. Their meeting seemed accidental and the seating plan appeared random, but the crossing of their paths was providential. To paraphrase G. K. Chesterton, the more coincidental things appear, the less coincidental they are. Love begins in the wonder of another person’s beauty and goodness and comes as a heavenly gift.

After this evening, a courtship and romance began that culminated in Pietro’s proposal in February of 1955 and their formal engagement in April with the wedding date set for September. “The Engagement Letters” express all the natural sentiments of a heart truly in love. Gianna writes, “Now there is you, whom I already love, and to whom I intend to give myself to form a truly Christian family”; Pietro responds, “A new life is beginning for me: the life of your great (and greatly desired) affection and of your radiant goodness . . . I could not have received a greater or more ardently desired grace from our Heavenly Mother.” In these letters, Gianna and Pietro behold each other as an answer to a prayer, a dream come true, Gianna writing “You are the man I had wished for” and Pietro responding “You are everything to me, dearest Gianna.” Both experience the radiance and splendor of love and the heights of human happiness. Their cup runneth over. Love renews a person’s entire life.

Love refines and purifies the heart and soul. Pietro writes, “Dearest Gianna, I’m still beside myself with the joy you have given me by our engagement,” and he thanks God for this precious gift: “Thank you for giving me Gianna as the sweet companion of my life.” She also feels the same profound sense of gratitude for the greatness of the gift: “Just think, Pietro, what a great gift the Lord has given us—how thankful we must always be for it!” There is nothing tentative, tepid, or uncommitted about their unconditional love for each other. Husband and wife intend nothing less than a total commitment, a self donation and the gift of self to each other in the mutual giving and receiving of love’s generosity. Gianna aspires to be nothing less than the noble wife of Proverbs 31 (“Pietro, I want to be that strong woman of the Gospel!”), and she often writes in her letters, “I want so much to make you happy.”

Love naturally overflows in song, poetry, praise and affection. It always seeks to give, please, bless, and enrich the happiness of the beloved. The engaged couple cannot complement each other enough, Pietro appreciating Gianna as “a model of devout piety and saintly virtue” and praising her for “your beautiful, luminous eyes and by your look of infinite love.” Gianna, in turn, reciprocates and honors her fiancé with her own endearments: “You are a treasure, Pietro . . . you are so good and you have within you many hidden virtues hidden by your humility.” She refers to him as a “papad’oro” (a father of gold) and then corrects herself to say “not of gold but of diamond, the biggest and most precious one there is on earth!” Love always discerns the soul of the person that radiates in the body and inspires the best in a man or woman.

In the “Letters of the First Years of Marriage,” the bond of love deepens the oneness of their union in mind, body, heart, and soul. Love grows and multiplies in the business of each day and the duties of family life. It increases by the many small acts of delicacy, thoughtfulness, and kindness that touch the heart. As Gianna writes, “How can I thank you for not letting a day go by without sending me word?” After three months of marriage, Pietro writes “How greatly the understanding, love, and joy of our union increase day by day!” Husband and wife long for each other during the times of separation, Gianna writing “I can’t live without you” and “I can’t wait to hold you again” and Pietro responding that the one solace in the loneliness of separation is the thought of Gianna’s love: “I have you to think about every moment, you who are following me with your affection, who love me so much, you to whom I long to return.” Love rejoices in the company, presence, conversation, and contemplation of the beloved.

They cherish the tokens of their love when they are apart, Pietro always kissing the photos of Gianna and re-reading her letters. They worry about each other’s difficulties, trials, and state of health, Gianna concerned about her husband’s taxing work and lack of rest and anxious when he travels by air. Throughout the many weeks and months of separation—with all the demands of Gianna’s medical practice and care of their three children and Pietro’s demanding travel schedule—they find reassurance and comfort in the knowledge of each other’s devotion. In Gianna’s words, “What a joy and comfort it is for me to know that you’re thinking of me and love me so much!” In his flight to Boston Pietro writes, “And now I’m going far, far way . . . But I’m strong and peaceful because of your deep love, your sweet kisses . . . your prayers and those of our dear ones, and the many good people who are praying to the Lord for me.” Love inspires and breathes life and energy into all parts of a person’s existence.

The total gift of self and unconditional love Gianna and Pietro offered one another not only blessed them and overflowed into the love of their four children whom they call their “treasures” but also imitated Christ’s Sacred Heart, the “burning furnace of charity” whose love knows no limits. Gianna prayed that her complicated fourth pregnancy, which threatened both her and the baby, would spare them both. However, she was explicitly clear and adamant with Pietro and all family members about her final wishes: “This time my pregnancy will be difficult and they will have to save one or the other, and I want them to save my baby.” Her heroic, saintly example of self-sacrificing love affirms the sanctity of all human life and the inestimable value of each person. It reaffirms Christ’s own example and words: “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

The love of Gianna and Pietro, then, is the idea of marriage God intended from the beginning: the beauty of virginity, the joy of falling in love, the gratitude for the gift of the beloved, an indissoluble marriage, the fruitfulness of love, and the willingness to sacrifice. This sublime ideal needs restoration in a secular world that desecrates life, destroys innocence, cheapens marriage, and calls nothing sacred.

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Mitchell Kalpakgian, Ph.D.

Mitchell Kalpakgian, Ph.D. has completed fifty years of teaching, beginning as a teaching assistant at the University of Kansas, continuing as a professor of English at Simpson College in Iowa for thirty-one years, and recently teaching part-time at various schools and college in New Hampshire. As well as contributing to a number of publications, he has published seven books: “The Marvelous” in “Fielding’s Novels,” “The Mysteries of Life in Children’s Literature,” “The Lost Arts of Modern Civilization, An Armenian Family Reunion” (a collection of short stories), “Modern Manners: The Poetry of Conduct and The Virtue of Civility,” and “The Virtues We Need Again.” He has designed homeschooling literature courses for Seton Home School, and also teaches online courses for Queen of Heaven Academy and part-time for Northeast Catholic College. Originally published at www.truthandcharityforum.org. Reprinted with permission.

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