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This atheist lawyer on death row wants to shout out a profound truth to the world!
It was April 2013. I was facing the death penalty for capital murder.
I had been what most Americans would call successful—a board-certified family attorney, elected Justice of the Peace, Captain in military service, law school honor graduate with a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, and an Eagle Scout. But, was I? Truth is, I was terribly lost. I thought those accomplishments were mine. I had spurned religion and felt that only weak people fell for those delusions. My heart was closed to the idea of a higher power.
After my arrest, I had many questions related to my criminal charges, living conditions in jail, health issues, and all the things happening outside. But there were no answers. I was held in total isolation. No T.V., no phone, no radio. I was not even allowed to speak with or see any other prisoners. Within a month or two, my thoughts turned toward the spiritual. One of my attorneys was Buddhist, so I asked him for some books. I studied Buddhism for about 14 months. Although I did reach a certain level of inner peace, it felt incomplete.
When I was moved one county away to begin trial preparation, I was subjected to oppressive physical observation 24/7, for six months. One evening, they asked if I wanted to go to ‘Church,’ which sounded like a great idea just to get out of that cell for a bit. So I attended the services with some local Christian volunteers for a few weeks. The man running the program noticed that I did not have a Bible. He told me I could get a Bible from the book cart, so I did. I was also sent off for a Bible study course.
While reading and studying the Gospel according to Saint John, I was overwhelmed by feelings and thoughts that ‘this is the Truth I’m reading.’ I also heard that wonderful, still-faint voice, telling me that this is the Truth. And I believed!
After that moment, I began completing all the Bible studies I could find—hundreds. When I arrived at Texas Death Row, I had many more questions. By that time, I had seen and experienced the divisions within Christianity. Many of the Bible studies I came across had some very different ideas and teachings. They each had their own expert scholars who claimed to be led by the Holy Spirit. But they couldn’t all be correct, could they? How would a person choose? I studied and prayed. Soon I realized the simple answer: ‘Trust in Jesus!’ Who did Jesus trust? The Gospels clearly show that Jesus trusted Peter most of all, choosing him to be the steward of His Kingdom on Earth, the Church. What Church is that?
Take-Away
After more study, research, and prayer, I began to learn about the Catholic Church. What did I learn?
The True Church of Jesus Christ must be one, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic. The Roman Catholic Church, I found to be the only Church that fully met each and every requirement, hence the one and only true path to full communion with Jesus Christ. Saint Peter, along with his unbroken line of successors, acts as the steward of this Church, until His final return. In order to fully obey our Lord Jesus Christ, we must submit to His authority and Divine Will in all areas, including the Church He instituted.
After all my searches for truth, after heeding my soul’s “yearning for my Creator,” as Saint Augustine says, I have finally found peace in the Catholic Church. I have since entrusted myself to the love of Jesus that I experienced here. And this has given me more joy and peace than all the wealth and power amassed over the years.
Peace, Love, and Joy to You All!
Eric Williams
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