She ignored all oppositions from her family and friends. They warned her about him. But she ranted and raved, “If you do not agree to this marriage, then I will commit suicide. I cannot live without him!” At last, her family and friends relented. After twelve years and two children, she now says, “I cannot live with him for another second! I am disgusted with him.” When I heard her now ranting about all the faults and failings of her husband, I asked without hesitation, “Where is your first love?” She became silent and thoughtful.
In this season of Lent, the Church and the Lord ask us the same question, “Where is your first love?” Do we remember the joy and enthusiasm we had when we came to the renewal experience? We ardently wanted to work for God and began a journey for Him with fervor. Do we still have that enthusiasm? If not, where along the way did we lose it? When did our complaints begin? Do you still have that same overflowing and intense love for your spouse that you had in the early days of your marriage? Have you lost the love towards your parents and siblings that you once used to have? For those who have chosen an ascetic life with the Lord, have you lost that initial love? Have you grown tired of life? For those priests presiding at parishes, have you lost the interest you first had when you arrived at your new parish?
During Lent, we are all called to ponder the question, “Where is your first love?” If there is any loss of love towards the Lord, then I would venture that there will be a shortage of love in our human relationships as well. When we feel that disconnect from the Lord, then we open our hearts to be broken and battered by the problems that arise in our lives.
So what can we do? Return to our first love. Once we regain that love for the Lord that we used to have, our ascetic life will be sweet, you will not allow your marriage to collapse, and laziness and emptiness will disappear. The first love will fill us with fresh power. The Church and the Lord implore us this season to return to our first love in order to get back the joy and the peace which we have lost. The goal of fasting, prayers, and observation of other acts of penance during Lent will help us to return to the Lord. The Spirit of God says: Yet I hold this against you: you have lost the love you had at first. Realize how far you have fallen. Repent, and do the works you did at first
(Revelation 2:4-5).
You shall return by the help of your God, if you remain loyal and do right and always hope in your God (Hosea 12:7).
Prayer
Dear God, I am sorry for having lost my first love towards You in the anxieties of my life. The lack of love in my heart is the reason for all of my disgust, disappointments, and tiredness. Lord, I know that the lack of love in me magnifies what I believe are defects in others. God, fill me with the love with which I can overcome all obstacles. Let my first love towards You make me cheerful.
Amen.