Q & A : How can I help my friend who is a gay?

"Questions swirled in my head, and it was hard to talk to my mom. But one surprising revelation changed my life forever.” Chi (Su) Doan shares those astonishing moments...  My life began in Vietnam in a loving family that set very high standards. Although we were not Catholics, they sent me to learn piano from the Sisters in the local convent. I was intrigued by their faith and their sense of purpose which I felt was lacking in my own life. One day, I wandered into the church and had a beautiful experience with Jesus Christ and God the Father which changed my life forever, but I didn't get to discover Mother Mary until a little bit later. Doing Big Things It all started when I was about 13. At that age, everyone seems to struggle a little bit, trying to figure out what to do with their lives. I didn't know what to do with my life. Looking at my brother and my cousins who were already successful in life, I felt under huge pressure to emulate their achievements. I found it hard to talk to my parents about this. Teenagers think that they can do big things without hindrance from adults like parents and teachers and I felt too nervous to bring up the questions that swirled around in my head. However, the kind, gentle Sister who taught me piano was different. When she gently enquired into my spiritual life, hearing with interest that I was going to church and praying often, I felt comfortable opening up to her about my struggles. I told her how I wondered if there was any conflict between being prayerful and having a successful career as a doctor, teacher or businesswoman. I was full of doubts and felt so lost, but she was full of serene confidence. She advised me how important a mother can be in guiding their children along since they have cared so much for them and observed them from their earliest days. I said, “It’s really hard to talk to my mother about it because I think I am old enough to do everything by myself without her help.” She assured me that it was okay, because if I found it hard to talk to my Mum, I had another mother I could talk to. The Surprise I was a little bit confused because that was a new concept to me, since I had grown up in a family without religion. “What do you mean?” I asked in surprise. She revealed the astounding news that since Mary is the one who gave birth to Jesus Christ Our Lord, she is also our mother. Jesus told us that we could call His Father, our Father, therefore we can call Him, Brother and His mother is our mother. As we read in the Bible, He entrusted Saint John and all of us to His Blessed Mother when He hung on the Cross. This was a totally new and strange idea to me and I found it hard to get my head around it. She went on, “Just think about it like this. When you grow up a little bit more, you will realize that a mother in your life is really important. Whatever problems you have, you are going to run back to her for advice and comfort, to help you face them. She is another mother helping you to do exactly the same thing. So, if you feel that talking to your parents is challenging, at this stage in your life, you can come to Mother Mary and talk to her so that you can find some peace.” It seemed like a good idea that was worth trying, but I did not know how to talk to her. Sister told me that I could just close my eyes and confide all my struggles, difficulties and suffering to her. I could tell her whatever I needed help with and ask her to offer me some comfort and some care. Just talking to her would help me think clearly about my future. I was not sure if it was all true, but there was no harm trying. So, when I had some free time, I sat down quietly, closed my eyes and doubtfully said to her, “Okay, if you are really my mother, can you help me with this. I am trying to figure out what I should be doing with my life because I want to do great things when I grow up. I am feeling overwhelmed by studying, but I am trying to put myself on the right path, so that later I won't have regrets. Please comfort me and help me to have some trust within myself to know the right thing to do with my life. Every night, I just kept saying the same thing. Whenever I was struggling with my study, I said, “If this subject’s not meant for me and I am not meant to be taking this any further, please just let me know.” Every time I said that, everything seemed a little bit better. At least I had someone to talk to about my struggles and difficulties now. Figuring It Out I was so intrigued that when Sister talked about Lourdes of Vietnam, I soon went for a visit. There I saw a beautiful statue of Mother Mary, high on a hill. As I gazed up at her, I felt looked after—that she was guiding me along the path that was meant for me. When I sat down to pray, I felt awkward for a moment. Am I really putting myself in the presence of someone who is really my mother, although it took me 13 years to figure out she is there? I did not know what to say at first. Then I started mumbling my jumbled thoughts about why I had come, why it had taken so long and my gratitude for having this opportunity. I began to tell her how lost I felt. I think that everyone is lost at this age so I hoped there was nothing wrong with me. I told her that I just didn't know what to do in my life. I didn't know if I should stress myself out trying to get straight A’s in school or lower my sights to something more reasonable and then figure out what to do from there. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to manage my studies or my life or how to become someone successful when I grew up. I confided how much it was all stressing me. I didn't know who to talk to because I didn't want to talk to people who would judge me and I didn't want to talk to people who would think I was weak. My eyes filled with tears as I laid my soul bare and put everything into her hands hoping that she would give me some advice on what to do. Eventually I just said, “Okay, I put all my trust in you. Please pray for me to God and then guide me along in my life because I really don't know who to trust any more. Please can you give me the courage to talk to my parents about what I am going through, so they can offer me some advice and help?” About once or twice a month, I came back to see her and talk to her. As time went by, I felt braver and got on top of my problems as I opened up to my Mum about what I wanted to be when I grew up and what options I’d have. I didn’t feel lost any more and I no longer struggled to talk to my parents and my teachers about how to choose schools, subjects, career and university, or other problems. Gentle Chiding It was strange at first because I hadn't known that I had two mothers in my life. Who would think of it if you weren’t born into a Catholic family? When I was about 16 years old, I started talking to my Mum about the experience I had with Mother Mary and surprisingly my mother agreed with me that it was true. She also believed that Mary is a mother who's taking care of her children. She affirmed that Mary was the one who had given me the courage to talk to her about my struggles, so that she had a chance to help me. It was a really amazing experience. I had simply talked to Mary and tried to listen to her voice. I didn’t hear her speak to me like Saint Bernadette, but sometimes when I was asleep or day dreaming, I felt like she was there telling me to just calm down a little bit. I seemed to hear her chiding me gently, “You just need to slow down.” In my teenage phase, I had always wanted to do everything quickly and manage everything for myself. I didn’t even want to share my feelings with my parents because I didn’t want them telling me what to do. So, it was a tremendous help when I sensed Mother Mary saying to me, “Just slow down a little bit. I know that you want to achieve success rapidly, but nothing works like that. Just trust me then it will eventually work out.” That was so true! Just a couple of years later, my family decided to send me to Australia. I was finally baptized and received into the Catholic Church at St. Margaret Mary’s Church, Croydon Park where I still happily attend Mass. When I am struggling, I come to her in prayer and ask her to pray for me to God our Father. I feel that she listens to me and responds to my prayers in astounding ways. Even now that I am in my 20’s, and living independently from my parents in another country, I still sometimes ask Mother Mary for courage to talk to them about my problems and open up to others. I am ever grateful for her loving, and motherly care.

Is technology shaping your consciousness? If so, it’s time to re think The recent cyber-attacks in the U.S which led to gas shortages, panic buying, and worries about meat shortages—drove home how dependent we are on technology to function in our modern society. Such dependency has spawned new and unique mental, psychological, and spiritual challenges. Our days are spent on “screen time” seeking out our news, entertainment, and emotional and intellectual stimulation. But as we navigate through life via our digital devices and technology, we do not realize how they are shaping our consciousness. Such dependency raises a basic question: does technology, an extension of reason, form our consciousness; has it become our primary orientation towards life? Many today would unapologetically answer, "Yes". For many, reason and logic are the only way to “see.” But Saint Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians offers a different view through a pithy statement that summarizes the Christian life: “…we walk by Faith, not by sight” (5:7) A Powerful Insight As Christians, we perceive the world through our bodily senses, and we interpret that sensory data. through our rational interpretative lenses just like non-believers do. But our primary orientation is not given to us by the body or reason, it is given by faith. Faith has nothing to do with gullibility, superstition, or naivete. We do not have to put our Chromebooks, iPads, and smartphones, in the closet. Through faith we integrate our sensory perceptions and rational inferences into our relationship with God and others. Through faith we can appreciate Jesuit poet Gerald Manly Hopkins’ powerful insight that “The world is charged with the grandeur of God.” Perception and reason–walking by sight—is good and necessary; indeed, that is where we start. But as Christians we walk primarily by faith. That means we are attentive to God and the movement of God within our ordinary experience. The contemporary spiritual writer Paula D’Arcy put it this way, “God comes to us disguised as our life.” And that cannot be a matter of direct vision or rational insight. To see life charged with God’s grandeur or to grasp that we do not have to look for God because God is in the very fabric of our life can be done only by faith, which goes beyond reason without contradicting it. Missing-in-Action? So, as we furtively emerge from our pandemic exile in which so many have suffered great pain and loss we may ask, where was God in all of this? What is God up to? Usually, the eyes of reason cannot see the answer. But we walk by faith, not just by sight. What God is doing happens slowly and in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence. God is always acting! He is never missing-in-action! From the smallest beginnings can come the accomplishment of God’s purposes. We know this from the prophet Ezekiel who sang of Israel’s great universal destiny which was prophesied during the Exile in which they lost everything! Five hundred years after Ezekiel, Jesus makes much the same point. We read in the Gospel according to Saint Mark, “This is how it is with the Kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed in the land and would sleep and rise night and day and the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how” (4:26-27). Ready for a Surprise God is working, but we cannot see it with our ordinary eyes; we cannot understand it with our ordinary categories; no app is going to give us that access. God is at work and we know not how. That is okay. We walk by faith not by sight. This is why in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus also says the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed—the smallest of all the seeds of the earth, but once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants, so that “birds of the sky can dwell in its shade” (4:32). It is not easy for us to enter into this logic of the unforeseeable nature of God and to accept His mysterious presence in our life. But especially during this time of uncertainty, loss, and cultural/political divisiveness God exhorts us to walk by faith which exceeds our plans, calculations, and predictions. God is always at work and He will always surprise us. The parable of the mustard seed invites us to open our hearts to surprises, to God’s plans, both at the personal level and that of the community. In all our relationships—familial, parish, political, economic, and social—it is important that we pay attention to the little and big occasions in which we can live the Great Commandments—loving God and neighbor. That means we disengage from the divisive rhetoric so prevalent on television and social media that causes us to objectify our sister and brothers. Since we walk by faith and not sight we engage in the dynamics of love, of welcoming and showing mercy towards others. Never Give Up The authenticity of the Church’s mission, which is the mission of the Risen and Glorified Christ, does not come through programs or successful outcomes, but from going forth, in and through Christ Jesus, to walk with Him courageously, and to trust that our Father’s will always bear fruit. We go forth professing that Jesus is Lord, not Caesar or his successors. We understand and accept that we are a small mustard seed in the hands of our loving Heavenly Father who can work through us to bring about the Kingdom of God.

The evangelical bottom-line is the cry, “Jesus Christ is risen from the dead.” Tightly linked to that declaration is the conviction that Jesus is who he said he was, that Jesus’ own claims to act and speak in the very person of God are justified. And from the divinity of Jesus there follows the radical humanism of Christianity. It is this third evangelical principle that I should like to explore, however briefly, in this article. The Church Fathers consistently summed up the meaning of the Incarnation by using the formula “God became human, that humans might become God.” God’s entry into our humanity, even to the point of personal union, amounts, they saw, to the greatest possible affirmation and elevation of the human. Saint Irenaeus, the great second-century theologian, could express the essence of Christianity with the pithy adage “the glory of God is a human being fully alive!” Now I realize that much of this is counter-intuitive. For many, Catholic Christianity is anti-humanist, a system characterized by an array of laws controlling self-expression, especially in the area of sexuality. According to the standard modern telling of the story, human progress is tantamount to an increase of personal freedom, and the enemy of this progress (if the darker sub-text of the narrative is allowed to emerge) is fussy, moralizing Christianity. How did we get from Saint Irenaeus’s exuberant Christian humanism to the modern suspicion of Christianity as the chief opponent of human progress? Much depends on how we construe freedom. The view of liberty which has shaped our culture is what we might call the freedom of indifference. On this reading, freedom is the capacity to say “yes” or “no” simply on the basis of one’s own inclinations and according to one’s own decision. Here, personal choice is paramount. We can clearly see this privileging of choice in the contemporary economic, political, and cultural arenas. But there is a more classical understanding of liberty, which might be characterized as the freedom for excellence. On this reading, freedom is the disciplining of desire so as to make the achievement of the good, first possible, then effortless. Thus, I become increasingly free in my use of the English language the more my mind and will are trained in the rules and tradition of English. If I am utterly shaped by the world of English, I become an utterly free user of the language, able to say whatever I want, whatever needs to be said. In a similar way, I become freer in playing basketball the more the moves of the game are placed, through exercise and discipline, into my body. If I were completely formed by the world of basketball, I could outplay Michael Jordan, for I would be able to do, effortlessly, whatever the game demanded of me. For the freedom of indifference, objective rules, orders, and disciplines are problematic, for they are felt, necessarily, as limitations. But for the second type of freedom, such laws are liberating, for they make the achievement of some great good possible. St. Paul said, “I am the slave of Christ Jesus” and “it is for freedom that Christ has set you free.” For the advocate of the freedom of indifference, the juxtaposition of those two claims makes not a bit of sense. To be a slave of anyone is, necessarily, not to be free to choose. But for the devotee of the freedom for excellence, Paul’s statements are completely coherent. The more I surrender to Christ Jesus, who is himself the greatest possible good, the very Incarnation of God, the freer I am to be who I am supposed to be. The more Christ becomes the master of my life, the more I internalize his moral demands, the freer I am to be a child of God, to respond promptly to the call of the Father. Finally, human beings are not hungry to choose; they are hungry to choose the good. They don’t want the freedom of the libertine; they want the freedom of the saint. And it is precisely this latter freedom that evangelization offers, because it offers Christ. Strange as it is to say, one of the greatest evangelists in the New Testament is Pontius Pilate. Presenting the scourged Jesus to the crowds, he says, “Behold the man.” In the delicious irony of John’s Gospel, Pilate is unwittingly drawing attention to the fact that Jesus, completely acquiescent to the will of his Father, even to the point of accepting torture and death, is in fact “the man,” humanity at its fullest and most free. The evangelist today does the same thing. She holds up Christ—human freedom and divine truth in perfect harmony—and she says “behold humanity; behold the best you can be.”

Q – It grieves my heart to see so much division in the world. Whether it is divisions between races, political animosity, and even rifts within the Church, there seems to be nothing but hatred, division, and anger in our culture today. As a Catholic, how can I do my part to bring healing to our world which is so divided? A – Ever since Cain and Abel, division and hatred has been a primary tool of the Evil One. Today, through social media and with the issues that people feel strongly about, I believe we are experiencing an unprecedented time of animosity within our world. But our Catholic Faith can show us a better way! First, we must recall the fundamental truth that every human being is made in God’s image—including our enemies. As Mother Teresa once said, “We have forgotten that we belong to one another.” The person of a different race or political persuasion, that person we are arguing with on Facebook or who is standing on the opposite side of the picket line, is a beloved child of God whom Jesus died for. It’s easy for us to label people and dismiss them—we say, “Oh, he’s just so ignorant for believing X” or “She’s so evil for endorsing candidate Y”—but this dismisses their great dignity. Our opponents have the potential to become saints, and are recipients of God’s mercy and love, just like we are. One of the great errors of the modern world says that in order to love someone, we must always agree with them. This is absolutely false! We can love people who have different political persuasions, sexual orientations, theological standpoints. In fact, we must love them. It is far more important to win a soul to Christ than it is to win an argument, and the only way to win a soul is through love. As Pope St. John Paul II once said, “The only proper response to a human being is love.” Love of our opponents takes many forms. We try to do concrete works of mercy for them—so if we see them thirsty because they are protesting on a hot summer’s day, we offer them water, even if we don’t agree with their message. We make sure that our dialogue with them is respectful and sticks to the issues, rather than devolving into a name-calling session (especially when we respond to them online). We pray for them—for their conversion, for their deeper healing, for their sanctification, and for material blessings. We genuinely seek to understand their position, rather than just dismissing it. Even people who believe errors have common ground with us—seek out that common ground, affirm it, and build on it to lead them to the truth. And sometimes that love can best be shown by offering them the truth of Christ in a loving way.  Also, we should be humble enough to recognize that sometimes we are the ones in the wrong, and we need to be taught by others’ insights and experience. Finally, I think it is important to avoid websites and news articles that are purposely inflammatory. Many news outlets and social media sites make their living by stirring up outrage and anger. But God desires Christians to be filled with peace and love! So avoid those websites or articles or authors who simply try to stir up controversy for the sake of ratings or website clicks. St. Paul in Romans 12 gives us a good admonition: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Only true Christian charity, carried out in words and deeds, will heal the divisions in our culture and our world.

Read the extraordinary story of Cintia who was miraculously saved from the clutches of suicide. Joyful Lips I grew up in a middle class family in Brazil. My father was a paediatric surgeon who taught the students before he moved into Health Management and my mother is a nurse, so there was plenty of money for every material thing—good schools, a beautiful house, delicious food. My father had two families to support, since it was his second marriage, so he worked a lot and so did my mother. Sometimes I didn’t see her at home for two or three days because of the shifts she was working. We had someone working in our house to help care for us and do the housework, but I really missed my parents. When I was sixteen-years my father betrayed my mother with another woman and they separated. I felt even more abandoned and frustration boiled up inside me as I felt so helpless. Even though we still had every material thing, we were not happy. Although my brothers and I had been baptized, we had not been catechized. Occasionally, we would attend Sunday Mass but because we didn’t really understand what was going on, we found it boring. We believed in God, but we didn’t have any relationship with Him. Regular prayer and an understanding of our Catholic faith were missing. My friend and I were lamenting our lack of good friends and the need to build something better in our lives when my brother’s friend said, “Oh I know where you can meet lots of young people who could be good friends because they follow God. They’re from the Catholic Church. Maybe you could go to Mass or a retreat there.” My friend and I liked the idea, so we went. It was very different to what I’d experienced before—a lot of young people joyfully sang beautiful music and praised the Lord. Then, I heard a guy praying and saying many things that really applied to my life. All the things I had held inside—the emptiness, the sadness and the thirst for God that I hadn’t understood. I hadn’t realized that it was God that I was looking for. When I attended a four day retreat in this community, it was the first time that I really experienced God. I spent four days crying a lot as I heard so many basic elements of the faith explained for the first time. For the first time I felt the presence of God, so I started to read the Bible a lot and pray every day in my room alone. A Difficult Terrain My parents had always emphasized the importance of gaining a good profession so I could get a good job, have money to buy my own things and be independent. I took all this very seriously, but I also felt so emotionally empty, always looking for something. I didn’t know that God could help us in this way. Because I felt so frustrated with my family situation, when a guy from school asked me to date, I jumped at the chance to get out of the house. Because no-one had taught me God’s way and I did not have anyone to guide me. I soon found myself enmeshed in a really difficult relationship. We started to do many things that were not good. He started to control everything in my life. Initially he went to church with me but he used that to manipulate my mind. He would use words he heard in church or the Bible so I would be submissive to him and do everything that he wanted. My formation was so lacking that I didn’t understand how wrong he was and he started to draw me away from the Church. Because I trusted him, I lost everything. He cut me off from my family and friends and even disrupted my university studies. After four years in this relationship, I was in a really bad way, feeling crushed by all the pressure. Finally, I started to pray again when I was alone. I said to Jesus, “Three years ago I felt real love from you, but I’m so sad now. What has happened?” I begged God to help me with the many things that were troubling me. I surrendered everything to Jesus again and promised Him that I would live His way not my way. I wanted to be free and trusted that if God died for me, He would save me. I didn’t have the strength to break off the relationship, but my boyfriend got a job in another city twelve hours away. Finally, I was able to break off the relationship because he was too far away to come after me. It was like a miracle because I hadn’t been able to do that for so long. Lean Over the Edge However, I still held a lot of pain inside from all I had been through. One day, it all felt too much. I couldn’t support any more of this anguish. Suicidal thoughts tortured me and one day I gave in. I went to the window and prepared to jump out to commit suicide. I wanted to take my life away, but fortunately, I didn’t have the courage to simply jump. I leaned out further and further letting my weight take me over the edge. Suddenly, I felt a big hand in my chest pushing me back. I fell back on the floor and started to cry because I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way. God had given me a second chance. He saved me and I didn’t understand why. I cried out, “What do you want from me?” Then I felt Him saying, “Turn on the TV.” When I turned on the TV, I saw a priest talking about why we shouldn’t give up on life. Tears welled in my eyes as his words penetrated deeply into my heart. I listened intently for an hour as he ardently preached about the gift of our lives. Over and over again he emphasized, “Your life is important.” I finally understood why Jesus saved me and I needed His help because I couldn’t do anything alone. My mother noticed my tears and asked me if I needed help. I finally admitted that I did. When I started therapy, I was able to return to my studies. At the same time I understood that I needed to come back to church. I desperately needed Jesus. Because He saved my life and gave me a second chance, I promised that I would trust in Him and learn to do whatever He wants. In 2009, I spent a year in the Palavra Viva community in their evangelization school. Within a few months, God revealed my vocation. He spoke really deep in my heart and asked me to be a consecrated woman. I felt confused since I had always hoped to marry because I love children. I started to discern if this call to consecrated life was real. Finally I had people that could help talk to me and guide my vocational discernment. When I understood that my calling did lie in consecrated life, I said “Okay, I will do it”, even though I didn’t fully understand. In 2011, I professed my first commitments of poverty, chastity and obedience. In 2017, I made my definitive commitments and came to Tasmania where I live out my vocation today. I am just a limited human being with many, many sins, but if I trust in Him all will be well.

Too often we are keen to jot down the resolutions; but fail to keep them. How about having a twist this time? Drifting to Nowhere At this time of year, the feeling that my life was adrift was an annual occurrence. The end of one year and the beginning of another, inevitably led me to contemplate the changes I wanted to make in my life and within myself. However, a few weeks into the year, New Year’s resolutions took on less importance. The energy these intentions gave me on December 31st and through January would inevitably begin to wane. I always wanted to move forward in the quest for holiness and better myself, but so often I just got stuck. Although the good intentions were still there, knowing how to make it happen and stick to them, often eluded me. Figuratively speaking, I felt as though I was stationary or drifting without direction. Knowing my love of words, God has a way of speaking the language of my heart. One evening a few years ago, as the annual post New Year rut was weighing on my heart, a poem seemed to flow from my heart like an answer to my prayer. I, Myself and Me There was a ship that sat Amid the still deep sea, The only souls that came aboard were I, Myself and Me We sat and watched each sunset With silence, not a sound. I thought there was a whisper And got up to look around. A presence filled the air that night. That nobody could see. Its message was intended for I, Myself and Me My voice then broke into the night I said to Myself and Me, “How can we just be sitting here? We’ve lost our destiny!” I told Myself to take the helm And set a course for Me. I seized hold of the captain’s wheel To steer us through the sea. The ship it made no motion. I still sat amid the sea. We had the will to make her move, but could not…. I, myself nor me. A whisper sounded once again, And said these words to Me “Call to the wind and ask for help, It’s power can set you free!” Me, Myself held hands with I We bowed on bended knee. We asked the Spirit in the wind “Blow us across the sea!” We felt a shift, a motion, Our course what would it be? The ship it turned within the wind, To glide most effortlessly. We knew not the direction Or how rough the sea would be. We had to trust the Spirit To lead I, Myself and Me. Just a Call Away The first draft of this poem flowed from my pen so quickly; I could not write fast enough to keep up with the message God wanted me to contemplate. You see, for a great part of my life I considered God as my very own wonderful insurance plan. Decisions concerning my life were mine to make and if something didn’t go quite right, I’d call on Him to get me out of a bind. I would call on Him as I would an insurance agent. I always knew He was there, but it didn’t seem right to burden Him with the mundane day to day decisions. It was like: I am glad my insurance agent is a phone call away, but I don’t need him driving with me in my car every day. The world told me that I was the captain of my own ship! I believed I was the captain of my own ship, but as each year passed I became aware that I did not possess my own compass. What silly thinking! Furthermore, I didn’t even know how to sail. I didn’t know the first thing about navigation or setting a course through rough waters! It was this kind of wrong thinking that left me stuck or adrift, the first few months of each new year. God was never my insurance plan. He knows the plan for my life better than I ever would. He was and is the plan! A New Twist It was important to recognise the need for improvement in my life and to desire holiness, but I couldn’t do it on my own by sheer will power. When I contemplated the words that spilled over into the poem, I felt God knocking on my heart to assure me that He was there, just waiting for me to ask Him to direct my life. He wanted to give me the plan and the means to do it. God tells us in Proverbs 3:5-8: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely. In all your ways be mindful of Him, and He will make straight your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes.” It took a long time, as each resolution was made and forgotten, for me to realize that I should ask God what His plan would have been for me in the New Year. As I began to align my will with His will, it became clear that I did not lack willpower. How foolish I had been. When I aligned my will with His, I received His power through me. Saint Paul tells us in Phillipians 4:13 “I have the strength for everything through Him who empowers me.” My New Year’s resolutions have a new twist to them these days. In contemplative prayer I ask God to reveal, in His time, His New Year’s plan for me. In humility I ask the Holy Spirit to lead me and make things happen according to God’s holy plan. I ask for the gift of faith, so that even in the dark waters, I will know His presence, trust that He is leading me and accept His holy will for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you; plans for your welfare and not your woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” Isn’t that lovely? For those of us who have the benefit of age and experience, it is clear that there are seasons and times for everything in life. This may be the time to stop drifting and this may be the season to align your New Year’s resolution(s) with God’s holy will for you. May Almighty God Bless you and speak to you in the language of your heart.

Sometimes what begins as a harmless pastime can spiral your life into a dark abyss! Finding My Destiny During most of my adolescence, I struggled to trust God and from this lack of trust came my decision to entrust myself and my future into the hands of powers that promised prosperity, love and happiness. I turned to New Age beliefs and soon found myself mesmerized by tarot cards, psychics, horoscopes and magic. At first, dabbling in these things seemed fun and exciting. Because of the New Age practices, I felt I wasn’t walking blindly anymore—I clearly saw the path of my destiny and received helpful guidance for my life. I believed the cards and psychics knew me. They understood what was going on in my personal life that I had not shared with anyone, and because of this, I believed in them with all my soul. Pretty soon, what started off as a seemingly harmless hobby became an obsession that turned me away from God. Beyond the Obsession I was constantly consulting my tarot cards, desperate to find answers to my life’s problems. I worshipped false idols--gods and goddesses- -pleading for help that never came. I started looking into spells that were supposed to help me get out of uncomfortable situations or enhance my life. Thankfully, “looking into” was far as I got, but I came very close to actually casting spells. If it weren’t for guilt I felt as I researched witchcraft, I probably would have gone through with it. Looking back, I believe this was God’s grace keeping me away from something that would have led me on an even darker path. My obsession impacted my faith drastically. Although I had grown up Catholic, I no longer considered myself Catholic. I felt that I resonated with New Age beliefs more than anything else. I told my friends and family I wasn’t sure if I believed in a God anymore. After all, if God existed, why did I seem so hopeless and lost? Why did God work miracles for others but not for me? I didn’t see myself ever returning to the Catholic faith, not after all the “truth” that I had learned about “enlightenment.” I thought Christians were the blind ones, the ones who couldn’t see the truth right in front of them, while I could see past the lies and deceit of the world. I didn’t know that I was the blind one who was walking through life alone. I was desperate for guidance and thought New Age beliefs would give me something to hope for. Come Back to Me For weeks, my tarot cards were giving me mixed messages. They no longer made any sense, nor did they apply to what I was asking of them. I felt hopeless, frustrated. My Tarot cards were my only assurance that things would turn out okay, but even they stopped working. It was like everything was spiraling, and I no longer had any control over my life. But that was just it! I was so obsessed with control that when I lost it, I felt weak and vulnerable. I soon realized that God wants us to be vulnerable so that we can learn to surrender all control and put our complete faith in Him. In the end, it was Jesus who saved me and returned me to the truth that I had been seeking for so long. I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps (Jeremiah 10:23). I began to hear God whispering in my heart that it was time for me to trust Him. I opened the door to the Lord, and He did not hesitate to enter in. After years of crying out to no one in particular, I received an inspiration from God rather than from my cards. God led me out in nature where I felt most at peace and He placed His loving arms around me. I looked up to the sky and God spoke to me, hidden in the clouds on that fateful afternoon. “Come back to me,” He said, and I was filled with more love than I had ever felt in my life. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). It only took a day for the healing light of the Holy Spirit to brighten the darkness within which had plagued me for several years. This is the beauty of God’s healing powers which illuminate even the dimmest of souls! Still, I knew that I needed to open my heart completely to the Lord so that I could experience His grace. That night, in my bedroom, I poured out everything to God. I told Him I was sorry I had strayed so far away and repented of all the sins I had committed. I told God that from now on, I would trust Him with my life. I placed my destiny in God’s hands and I gave up New Age beliefs. I fell into the arms of a God who loved me as His child. Once I felt the comfort of resting in God’s merciful arms, I began to see that I could rely on the Catholic faith with all my heart, so I no longer felt the urge to be the sole director of my own destiny. I don’t obsess about answers anymore; now I trust in the Lord’s plan for me. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

Question: This virus crisis has made me realize how short my life is, and now I am beginning to worry—to worry about getting sick, and to fear death. How can I be at peace when I never know if I will get sick from the coronavirus? Answer: Every news outlet has been covering the coronavirus epidemic with regularity. It is hard to avoid the news of this disease—it is literally everywhere. Even the Church has had to get involved—the entire country closed public Masses for several months earlier this year. I have even seen a church with blessed hand sanitizer in the Holy Water fonts! Caution is one thing, but panic is quite another. I think many people (and institutions!) have slipped into a panic-mode that is neither realistic, nor helpful at a time like this. Here are three things to remember as we all seek to stay healthy during this virus: First, do not be afraid. This is one of the most often-repeated sayings in the Bible. In fact, it is said that the phrase “Do not be afraid” appears 365 times in the Bible—one for each day of the year, because we need to hear it every day. Why should we not be afraid? Because God is in control. In our rationalistic, sciencebased culture, we tend to forget this—we think that the destiny of the human race is in our hands. On the contrary—God is in control, and His will always prevails. If it is His will that we contract this disease, we must surrender our will to His. Yes, take precautionary measures, but in our hearts we must not forget that our lives are in His hands. He is a good Father Who does not abandon His children, but orchestrates everything for our good. Yes, “all things work for good for those who love God”—all things includes coronavirus. Second, as a Christian we must reckon with the fact that all of us will die. It says in Scripture (Romans 14:8) that “if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord; so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” We sometimes think that we can avoid death forever, but we cannot. Our lives are not ours to own and cling to – they have been given to us by the Lord, on loan, and we will have to return them to Jesus one way or another. What peace there is when we recognize that we will someday return these gifts back to the Father! As the Christian writer John Eldridge once said, “The most powerful man on earth is the one who has reckoned with his own death.” In other words, if you do not fear death, then you are unstoppable. In the same way, once Christians accept the fact that their lives are not their own, that we will have to come to God one way or another, this liberates us from the need to fear death. It frees us from our frantic grasping at life, as if this physical life were the most important thing to protect and preserve. Yes, life is a gift, and we should go to great lengths to protect it. But the gift of life is not absolute—we must all give that gift back to the Lord at some point. Whether it is coronavirus or cancer, a car wreck or old age, we all must die. Christians keep their gaze fixed on eternity, where life will never end. Finally, we must remember our duties to the sick. We have a duty not to abandon the sick—even if they are contagious. As Saint Charles Borromeo said during the plague of 1576, “Be ready to abandon this mortal life rather than the people committed to your care.” Recently, we celebrated the memorial of Saint Frances of Rome, who lived in the early 1440s during a time of great societal upheaval. She dedicated her life to the sick. Listen to the words of a contemporary of hers: Many different diseases were rampant in Rome. Fatal diseases and plagues were everywhere, but the saint ignored the risk of contagion and displayed the deepest kindness toward the poor and needy. She would seek them out in their cottages and in public hospitals, and would refresh their thirst, smooth their beds, and bind their sores. The more disgusting and sickening the stench, the greater was the love and care with which she treated them. For thirty years Frances continued this service to the sick and the stranger… (“Life of Saint Frances of Rome” by Sr. Mary Magdalene Anguillaria). We, too, ought to seek ways to take care of victims of this disease. Do not abandon those who have come down with it! It is our Christian duty, one of the Corporal Works of Mercy. Take precautions, of course, but if we happen to catch the virus from someone infected because we are serving them, it is a form of white martyrdom, love-in-action. And finally, let us remind ourselves that all of this is in God’s hands. If it is His will that we stay healthy, we shall praise Him for it. If it is His will that we get sick, then we shall suffer well for Him. And if it is His will that we die from this virus, we commit our lives into His Hands. So, yes, take caution, stay home if you are sick (you are not committing a sin if you miss Mass due to illness!), wash your hands and try to stay healthy. And leave the rest to God.

Turn on the faucet and water comes out; Flip on a switch and the light goes on; Open the cupboard and find food there! It’s so easy to take things for granted. Giving thanks is an important habit to cultivate. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Saint Paul says, “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” Why does the Lord want us to give thanks in all circumstances? Saint Paul says that the result will be that “the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard (our) hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” So if you find yourself agitated, worried, anxious, lacking in peace, a very good remedy is to start thanking the Lord for things. I learned some important lessons about gratitude on a walking pilgrimage I went on some years ago. A friend and I set out to walk 180 miles of the Camino de Santiago in Spain. On one of the days we walked about 15 miles and were very ready to stop. Tired, dusty, and hungry, we decided to stay in the next town. However when we got there, we discovered that a big wine festival happening in the area had taken all the available rooms. Not what we wanted to hear! We were exhausted and needed somewhere to sleep that night. After stopping at several more lodgings that were at full occupancy, we were getting desperate. Then someone told us about a place right outside of town that might have space. The man was nice enough to call ahead for us and indeed, they had two beds left in a public dorm. We had to walk another mile or so to reach it, and when we arrived we found the place was dirty and crowded, but we were so grateful for a bed and shelter that we didn’t care or complain. It sure beat sleeping outside on the hard ground with no roof over our head. The next day we walked by a bus station and saw many African refugees waiting to catch buses. What were they escaping? How far had they travelled? We could only imagine the pain and suffering they had endured to reach Spain, and our hearts filled with compassion and empathy for them. Reflecting on this experience, I asked myself, “How often have I thanked God for a bed to sleep in each night?” Not often enough, I realized. The possibility of being deprived of something I usually take for granted, then seeing others in a much worse situation than I have ever been in, made me focus on my blessings and kept me from complaining. My heart felt lighter and more joyful. That led me to thank God for other gifts He has blessed me with, like water. My friend and I also grew to appreciate the gift of water on the pilgrimage. On the Camino you carry water with you in your backpack, and water is quite heavy. But there are stretches along the way where there is no water source available so you need to carry a good supply with you. More than once, we ran low and even ran out of water, and oh how grateful we were when we found a place to refill our containers and quench our thirst. One of the best parts about stopping at the end of the day was the refreshing shower we could take at the hostels we stayed at. Returning home from the pilgrimage, we wanted to retain the habit of giving thanks. Instead of waiting to be deprived of something before we appreciate it, how much better it is to be grateful every day for simple things, for things we usually take for granted. God deserves our praise and gratitude, and when we look for the blessings in our day and give thanks to God for them, the problems and worries that we carry feel lighter and God’s presence and provision come into focus. Gratitude really is the door that opens us to the “peace that surpasses understanding.” Give it a try. What can you thank God for right now?

Wuhan, China is notable for more than being the epicenter of today’s Covid-19 pandemic. It is also the site of the martyrdom of China’s first canonized Saint who died by suffocation while hanging from a cross in Wuhan. Many missionaries traveled to China in the 19th century with the knowledge that they would never return. Among them was Father Jean-Gabriel Perboyre, a Vincentian missionary from France. In a letter he composed during his journey to China he wrote, “I don’t know what awaits me on the path that opens before me: without a doubt the Cross, which is the daily bread of the missionary. What can we hope for better, going to preach a crucified God?” He soon joined the Vincentians helping to rescue abandoned Chinese children and educate them in the Catholic faith. He was arrested in 1839 under an edict that banned Christianity. Tortured and interrogated for months, in 1840 he was finally tied to a wooden cross and suffocated to death. He was beatified in 1899 by Pope Leo XIII. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux had a special devotion to Father Perboyre and kept a holy card dedicated to him in her personal prayer book. Saint Jean-Gabriel was canonized by Pope John Paul II in 1996. Among the torments endured by Saint Perboyre were beatings on his lower back and kneeling on broken glass. But this Holy man died because hanging from a cross made it impossible for him to breathe. How fitting it is to seek intercession for those suffering from Covid-19 from one who experienced some of the agonies associated with the disease. Here is a prayer written by Saint Jean Gabriel Perboyre shortly before his death: “O my Divine Savior, Transform me into Yourself. Grant that I may live but in You, by You, and for You So that I may truly say, with Saint Paul, “’I live—now not I—But Christ lives in me.’”