Finding Calm in Chaos

It was my last bouquet for her… Each week, when I visit my local supermarket, I stop by the floral shop and grab a bouquet of roses to place in my shopping cart. It may seem like an unnecessary indulgence, but for me, it is a necessity. It is my effort to bring a bit of beauty into the home I share with my sister. The colors vary—sometimes, I am in the mood for a calming peach; other times, I am longing for the drama of ruby red. The vibrancy of the colors fills my heart with joy—a joy that I want to share with my only sibling. The Bouquet When I purchase my weekly bouquet, it reminds me of a time when I used to accompany my mother to the garden she kept in the backyard of our apartment building. As she tended to the flowers, I would mimic her, pretending to water the tiny shoots that had sprouted up seemingly overnight. Each spring, the garden would be filled with a carpet of pansies, which I would pick and lovingly present to my mother. Whenever I handed her the flowers, I felt as if I was bestowing on her a beloved treasure. She was my queen, and I loved giving her my prized possessions. Looking back, I cannot imagine loving my mother more than I did during those moments of grace. My beloved mother left this earth years ago after losing a valiant battle against cancer. Yet, even in her diminished physical state, she retained a regal beauty that could not be denied. I live with the hope that I will be reunited one day with her in Heaven, where transcendent beauty reigns supreme. Flowers accompanied her at her funeral Mass. It was the last bouquet I would present to her, and I felt in that instant that I had given her all I had—just as I had felt as a preschooler so many years ago. Abiding in Love Flowers have come to represent for me the loveliness of God’s creation. He did not have to create so many different kinds of flowers, yet He did it to share His goodness with His beloved children.  The sight of flowers in the spring and summer symbolizes new life. With a new season comes rebirth, which can fill our hearts with hope. There is always hope in the Lord—to comfort us, to rescue us, and to give us a fresh start. Nothing can stop His abiding love for us. It is as dependable and steady as the sun rising above the horizon each day. But in beauty, we meet God face-to-face—a glorious experience which can bring us closer to Him. Given the fact that our bond with the Lord is our most important relationship, beauty becomes an essential part of living in concert with Him. So, consider allowing beauty to bloom in your life—whether that means purchasing flowers on your shopping trip, painting a landscape, or snapping a photo of a sunset. As beauty shines forth, so will the immeasurable love of your heavenly Father. 

What difference can a single person make in this huge world of disturbing disputes? Stepping out the front door to retrieve the morning paper, I padded to the end of the driveway, bent down, and peered through the plastic bag to scan the headlines. I poured my just-brewed coffee and sat in my favorite recliner to appreciate this pleasant ritual that began my day.  My eyes moved from one headline to the next. I sadly realized that it was becoming increasingly challenging to enjoy what had once been a source of pleasure. Again, I was confronted with the unraveling of what was once agreed upon in our society—civility.  A bit disconcerted after perusing several sections, I turned to Facebook, hoping for some uplifting or humorous posts. I found myself chuckling a few times as I scrolled and was grateful for this distraction. Seeing a more somber post, I appreciated the one who made the effort to alert others to current situations in our country and world, which called for a response. The facts were from a reputable source, and as a person of faith, I was grateful to be more informed as a result of this friend’s concern. After clicking ‘like,’ I happened to see a few comments from others online. This, too, exposed the reality that differences of opinion were no longer just that. Instead, friends were verbally attacking friends, and no effort was being made to be tactful or kind. Agreeing to Disagree Disagreements are to be expected since each person is the product of their own experiences, education, and values. Some respondents were obviously well-read, having studied the issues and coming to conclusions based on their knowledge and a clear understanding of what their faith requires. Others responded emotionally, shooting from the hip with callous attacks on the character of the person who had posted a thoughtful comment.  I was puzzled as to how what had begun as an attempt to call forth compassion had now disintegrated into an ongoing barrage of insults. What’s more, at times, the parties involved didn’t even know each other! I remembered what my father had taught me years ago about what happens when we ‘assume’ something about another. My dad took a pen and put a hyphen after the second ‘s’ in that word and another hyphen between the ‘u’ and ‘me.’ He stated that was what was made out of both parties when one chose to ‘assume’ something about the other.  Might a better response be that of Saint Francis of Assisi in his prayer: “To seek first to understand, rather than to be understood?” How can we do that unless we strive to live the BE-attitudes, where Jesus said we would be blessed (happy!) if we were peacemakers?  It is quite simple, really.  In the words of Pope Francis, the way we make peace is by: “Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue.”  I have the Guideline Book! I laid my phone down and placed my newspaper in the recycling bin. It was time to do what I should have done in the first place: open my Bible. Turning to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, I was reminded of the real source of Truth.  Jesus spoke challenging words to those influenced by the culture of their day. His harshest words were reserved for the religious leaders, whose convictions were so rigid that there was no room left for compassion. The self-righteousness that resulted from their sincere attempts to follow every Jewish law to its letter blinded them to their own hypocrisy. As a result, Jesus spent much of His time with the prostitutes, tax collectors, and others whom society had deemed ‘sinners.’ There, He found authenticity; there was no pretense among those already rejected by society. In connecting with Jesus, those on the margins of society found He somehow understood them, their hearts, excuses, needs, and desires. In time, many came to an awareness that the choices they had been making were not bringing them the peace for which they yearned and, thus were willing to try a new way, the Way of Jesus. My examination of the Scriptures was a reminder that human nature has not changed over the years.  The false pride that the Pharisees and Sadducees held onto only distanced them from hearing the Truth—those who had little to protect, those with little in the way of material goods, status, or power, were the ones open to the transforming power of the Gospel.  To them, it was indeed, ‘Good News!’—the kind the world needed to hear then and most certainly now. Would that tomorrow’s headline one day read: “Christians Found Leading the Way in Loving Their Neighbors as Themselves!?” Smiling to myself, I poured a second cup of coffee while composing my next Facebook post. The song reverberating within me caused me to hum along as its words washed over me: “Let There Be Peace on Earth, and Let It Begin with Me.”

Your problem may be big or small, but this DIY is sure to help you out! I am a daddy’s girl. Growing up, I took pride in being called the ‘Captain’s daughter’ (my father was a police officer). My dad taught me my faith in words and in deeds. He was a daily Mass goer, a Rosary pray-er, and an overall virtuous man. A hard worker, he always provided for his family. He was not only my daddy but also my role model, my #1 fan, and my spiritual advisor. Nonetheless, when I was in trouble, it was my mother that I ran to. Indeed, I would rather my mother ‘catch’ me doing something wrong than my father. Perhaps that’s because I could not stand the thought of disappointing my father. More likely, though, it was because my mother was truly understanding and compassionate. And when I did have to tell my father, I wanted my mother at my side as my intercessor.  Mom’s Love When I experienced a broken heart, I cried in her embrace. Her sympathetic heart broke with mine. My mother knew how to comfort me. She carried me in ways that were different from my father. My dad lifted me up on his shoulders; my mom cradled me close to her heart. It is this relationship with my mother that makes me realize how important it is to stay embraced in the Immaculate Heart of Mary. By virtue of my Baptism, I am, indeed, my Father’s daughter—a princess, as a matter of fact, for I am a child of the King of kings. And just as I hate disappointing my earthly father, I grieve over all the times I have let my Heavenly Father down. Alas, I must often make use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation to seek forgiveness. Approaching my Father to confess my wrongdoings, I ask my Mother to be by my side. After examining my conscience and before entering the confessional, I pray a Hail Mary. I am counting on my Heavenly Mother to intercede on my behalf and to help me use the graces our Lord will send me so I can avoid sin in the future. Like my Father, Mother Mary only wants what is best for me. Whether I have a little problem or a big dilemma, I turn to Mary by praying the Rosary. It is a powerful tool that helps me determine God’s will and then gives me the strength to do it. Sometimes, I pray a whole Rosary for a specific intention. Often, though, each decade has its own little need that I present to Our Lady for her intercession. Saint Therese of Lisieux assures: “In trial or difficulty I have recourse to Mother Mary whose glance alone is enough to dissipate every fear.” Hence, when friends and family ask for my prayers, the Memorare is my go-to prayer. I entrust their cares to our Mother, knowing that she will obtain from Her Son what is best, just as she did at the wedding feast at Cana. My Sweetest Resort In the exhaustion of motherhood, raising nine children, I turn to Mary for inspiration and encouragement. Many Hail Marys are prayed throughout my day! As my children get older, they go off into the world without me–to school, college, on trips, and to start their own lives in their own homes–I ask Our Lady to accompany them when and where I can’t. It gives me peace and a blessed assurance knowing that She will keep an eye on them. At noon, I have my alarm set to remind me to stop and say the Angelus prayer. It doesn’t take long, but it helps me to keep focused. It is kind of like calling your mom in the middle of the day just to say: “Hi!” and let her know that you love her. Loving my Heavenly Mother doesn’t mean I love God any less, just as loving my mother doesn’t mean my affection for my dad diminishes. On the contrary, loving one only increases my love for the other. Love is never divided; it can only be multiplied. Saint Maximillian Kolbe declared: “Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love Her more than Jesus does.” So, run to your Mother. 

All you have to do is trust in Him and wait patiently. I was recently sitting in front of my computer, ready to install a new update. The loading bar appeared, and I thought: How often do we feel like this in our lives? We wait without knowing if things are progressing. Minutes passed, and I became impatient. Should I cancel? But something was holding me back—a faint hope that there was more going on in the background than I could see. And sure enough, suddenly, the bar jumped ahead. Patience Is the Key This little experience opened my eyes—This is exactly what hope feels like. Our lives often resemble a loading beam. We wait for things to clear up, for prayers to be answered, or for hard times to end. But how quickly do we become impatient and want to stop the installation because we think it won't go any further! Hope is the strength to let the process run its course, trusting that something good is being prepared. "You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near.”(James 5:8) In our hectic world, which expects quick solutions, accepting God's seemingly slow pace is challenging. But hope means letting the loading bar continue to run, even if the progress is not visible. God is working in the background, like a system receiving a complex update. Even if the screen remains dark, we can trust that He has everything under control.  Mediator of Hope Mary, the mother of hope, lived a life full of loading beam moments. Her "yes" at the Annunciation set the divine plan in motion, but she had to wait for the birth of Jesus, for His public ministry, and finally for the resurrection after Golgotha. She lived the waiting with a faith that knew that God's plan would unfold, even if she did not fully understand it. This is how she became the mediator of hope for all humanity. She teaches us that hope is the patience to hold on to God's promises, even when the ark seems to stand still. It is not about understanding every detail but about trusting that God is completing good work in us. "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." (Jeremiah 29:11) The question remains: Where is our loading bar? Will you trust that progress will continue, even if it is sometimes invisible? God's update for your life is already in progress! At the end of this process, the fullness of His glory will give you new life. God does not forget us: "Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20) Come, Lord Jesus, and complete Your work in us! Lead us step by step to the goal of your glory!