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God is Never Too Busy to Listen; Don’t Be Too Busy to Talk to Him.
First Venture
Once during a sermon, a priest narrated an incident that happened while he was a deacon at a small parish in the countryside. It was the feast of the Immaculate Conception and this meant a grand celebration for the parishioners. The young and vibrant deacon was fully in charge of the event, and he was going about making all the arrangements.
Soon he was so absorbed with the hustle and bustle that he barely had time for personal prayer. That evening, right before the procession, he went to his room to freshen up. Just as he was removing his cassock, he sprained his arm. Awkwardly, he could not bring down his arm, not even in a position to get some help. His mind raced with the long list of “things to do” before the ceremony. Unfortunately, all he could do now was lie on the bed with his arms still raised above his head, as if frozen halfway in the action of removing his cassock.
As he lay on the bed helplessly, tears rolled down his cheeks. It was his first venture being vested the responsibility of a church feast. His head flooded with all the things that could go wrong and fear began to seep in. In his heart resounded the words that our Savior said on the Cross: “My God … Why have You forsaken me?” The deacon got an answer that day. It was simple to the core: “You were too busy for me.”
Perfectly well
He realized how easily he fell into the trap of being too busy. Surrendering everything into God’s hands, he finally began to pray to God, asking Him to take control. After a while, the deacon was able to get up and, although his sprained arms were aching, he managed to get dressed and go to the church. To his amazement, everything went perfectly well. He felt foolish thinking the ceremony would turn pell-mell without his supervision. The deacon, now a gifted priest, recounts this incident saying, “If you are too busy for God, then you are going nowhere!”
Oftentimes, when life seems too hectic and we are carrying the burden of deadlines for projects, surmounting bills to pay and curtailed by job downsizing, we simply feel overstressed. The clock keeps ticking and we scurry to get “bigger and better” things. Satan knows very well how to keep us running in circles to beat the time and make it to the top. How easily we are dissuaded from the real purpose of our life.
A Way to Imitate
Jesus Himself shows us the way to find the real purpose of our life. During His ministry, no matter how great a crowd followed Him and pressed Him for healings, Jesus withdrew into the desert or to the top of mountains to pray to his Heavenly Father. We are called to imitate Him and draw close to God in prayer even in the midst of all our busyness. For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest, you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But when we refuse and flee like horses and ride upon swift reeds, soon will the day come when we look back and see how great our loss is!”
There is a striking incident on busyness in the Bible itself. The story of Martha and Mary from chapter 10 of the Gospel of Luke tells how Martha welcomes Jesus into their home but hurries to prepare the meal. Her sister Mary simply sits at the feet of Jesus and hears the wisdom of Christ. The overwhelmed Martha complains to Jesus asking Him, “Do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?” Jesus answers her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
What Do You Choose?
Martha was indeed doing her duty of preparing the meal and serving the guests. Still Jesus says that Mary has chosen the better part. Why? Martha was too consumed with physical needs, while Mary chose to listen to the Word of God present before her in person as Jesus Christ. Today Jesus speaks these same reverberating words to us. Would you choose the better part, which is to listen to Jesus? How do we listen to Jesus? It is no wonder that Jesus speaks to us today but we are so engulfed in frivolous trappings and empty, sensual pleasures of the world. Little do we realize that the world is passing by, our bodies degrading every day and we miss “the only one thing” in life?
Jesus invites you into His friendship. Martha, Mary and Lazarus were His dear friends. Jesus takes one more step to beckon us into a close relationship with Him. The act of trusting Him by simply sitting at His feet and listening to Him is the true beginning of a beautiful relationship with Him.
Listening to Jesus
Even in the grim night when a son comes home calling out to his mom, it does not take even a second for the mother to recognize her son’s voice. In the same way, we need to get familiar with the voice of God, which is open to us through the Word of God. Spending time listening to Jesus by reading the Word makes us familiar with His voice and rejuvenates our spirit to do God’s will. Then when we are stranded in life we can hear the voice clearly saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Jesus looks upon us every moment, yet we seldom look up to Him. He speaks to us today but, sadly, our ears are deafened by social media, news, music, and whatnot. His words of wisdom get drowned in the multitude of distractions in which we are immersed.
There is a famous passage from Saint Augustine’s “Confessions” where he states “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.” We tend to miss the bigger picture that God is always trying to draw our attention to Our hearts were made for Him who created us!
A Dream about You
We are too busy fulfilling the desires of the heart that we seldom remember God or turn to Him for help. While He looks over us, we are too busy in the rat race of this world that we do not give God a chance. Do we ever realize that God has a dream about each one of us and we are all sent on a mission in this life on earth? God’s dream about you is bigger and better and it does not end with death. Rather, it turns into an everlasting love that leads to eternal life in heaven.
Jesus longs to tell you today, “Do not be afraid!” He is right beside you to help you, as in Jeremiah: “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” Now is the time to turn back to God. He longingly waits for your return. Will you sit with Jesus today and say, “Speak, Lord, for Your servant listens …”? Surely the Lord will fight for you and you have only to keep still.
Prayer
Dear Jesus, I am sorry for being too busy with the cares and needs of life. Your grace is all I need. Lord, I humbly sit at Your feet to listen to Your voice. Let my heart always seek to listen to Your inspiration, in every moment of my life. Amen.
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My name is Jessica Braun. Today, I am sharing my faith story to give you hope that it doesn’t matter whether you are a cradle Catholic or have no faith at all—God is revealing Himself to you, through your very life lived.
The Wake-up Call
I come from a nonreligious, loving family. We were raised very morally, following the golden rule, but I never felt that religion was for me nor had the faith that there was a God. I grew up in San Francisco as one of the three children. I remember we rarely went to church; but when we did go it was for a celebration. We would get dressed up and celebrate the holidays or weddings, but it was never a spiritual event.
When I was in high school, we had a family friend who was an Indian. Upon retirement he began to facilitate a small village school in India by taking graduate students from Europe, specifically England, to help teach English in that school. One day he asked my parents whether I would be interested in going. My parents were very supportive but the only condition they had was that I had to earn the money to pay for the trip, or get admitted into college. I didn’t have to think twice when I deferred to the college admission. I was so excited to go to India, but I really had no concept of what was involved in being 18 and away from home for the first time. It was really a wake-up call to how bizarre life is.
A Sea of Humanity
In India I experienced the gravity of poverty, suffering and beauty. It hit me like a tidal wave to the sense of what I had. I felt lost while I was there. The experience I had at the village school was quiet and serene; but I was really puzzled when I traveled to other parts of the country. I was lost in the swing of things when faced with how many people there were and how crazy everything seemed. Finally I settled into the notion that my little life did not matter at all—I could not comprehend that there was an individual soul, much less an individual relationship to be had with God.
After we had traveled for a long time, my friends moved back to the United Kingdom. I had time remaining on my visa, but I did not know what to do. Rishikesh Ashram was said to be a safe and quiet place, so I spent my time there until my flight home. It was a silent ashram, where we focused on doing service and meditating. I went along and somehow I began to feel that maybe there was someone. I had an inkling that God watched over me. Unfortunately, I did not have a community of people to help foster what I felt deep in my heart.
A Confident Comeback
When I came back from India I felt as if I had a grip on things. I went to college and when it came to meeting Christian groups on campus, I thought, “You must be kidding me! These people haven’t seen what I have seen. So they don’t understand.” I could not see then that my life was just unfurling; it was still growing. I now realize that the real danger exists when people think that they have arrived in life, and draw to a conclusion. The truth is that life is all a journey in which we never know how things will work out.
After two years in college, I felt disconnected and wanted to be back out in the world. I received a small scholarship opportunity to study in Madrid, Spain. There I met other college kids who were travelers and adventurers. We lived it up while in Madrid and I felt that everything was great. One morning while I was walking home, I thought about how I was in Madrid, travelling on my own and feeling very confident. All of a sudden, a man who had run out from the bushes assaulted me.
Wreak Havoc
Lying on the path with a broken collarbone, all alone—I was thinking to myself, and a sort of anger surged in me. Even though I did not believe in God, a part of me did think that perhaps someone was looking out for me. That moment when I was so helpless and lonely, I felt the world telling me “No, you are alone. There’s nobody looking out for you. You are responsible for yourself.”
Often one battles such thoughts while going through bad events. I had a broken collarbone, of which I told my roommate but no one else, not even to my parents. I felt that this was the only way to cope. I thought my strength was my ability to carry on despite bad things happening. I did not believe then that I need God or that there was anything greater than me.
It was a dark time in my life. I was dating someone who was not right for me. When that relationship ended, I was again feeling very lonely. So I decided to move home to California. And shortly before going home, I met my future husband! Sadly I had to tell him that I was moving in three weeks. We still had a long-distance relationship. Eventually, he proposed, and we were talking about our wedding. Even though we had been to church together, it was important to him that we were married in the Catholic Church, just like others in his family had been.
A Beautiful Beginning
It was a beautiful Catholic church, and there was a beautiful priest who knew our story and married us. I was not planning to become a Catholic, but I was certain that I would raise a Catholic family. It was important to my husband that our children be raised Catholic. I also wanted that for my children. I have witnessed faith in my Jewish friends. In India I saw tremendous faith—Buddhist faith, Hindu faith. It was a beautiful thing, but I felt it was not for me because of who I was, the way I thought and my life events. I felt that faith was a beautiful thing given at birth, so I thought that when my kids are born, I would raise them Catholic.
Ten years later we had three beautiful children, and my oldest daughter was a precocious child. She never believed in Santa Claus, Easter bunnies, the tooth fairy and so on. It was all about “I need proof.” This made it a lot more difficult raising her in the Catholic faith and getting her to believe in God, especially when she was not listening to these messages from me. Thus, we enrolled her in religious education at Saint James Church.
Nothing’s a Coincidence
I never believed in God, and I did not know how to steerher toward a belief. I asked my mother- in-law for advice, but she would say, “Oh, I don’t really know… the Catholic teaching has changed’. Then one day she put it under my nose that Saint James had an RCIA program to teach adults about the Catholic faith. I went for it, but did not know what to expect. I was blown away. I remember our RCIA leader saying on the first day that all of us were not there by accident. We were called there. In a nutshell, he made it clear that we were all here because of love.
Someone had loved us enough to bring us here to be with each other. For me, it was my mother-in-law, my husband and my children’s love that had brought me there, along with the love of Jesus Christ, which was already in my life. If you open your heart, then you open yourself to this experience and let love show you the way.
As the weeks went on, we continued attending church, participating in ministries, and for my kids, going to religious education. Things started to change in my life, like the song “Amazing Grace.” You hear it a million times and suddenly you feel that the song is
about you. You begin to see God reflected in everything, more than ever before.
I was hesitant to share this experience. Sometimes you hear stories where it all lines up perfectly. I am not sure which pieces of my past led me to this point. I do believe that every day prepares you for the next and that God was speaking to me through all those experiences, whether or not I was listening. I hope others can recognize God’s presence by being open to the possibility that whatever they are going through in life, all these pieces are God’s way of preparing them for today,
and today is preparing them for tomorrow.
In essence, you can live out a faithful life and be the light of the world. Every time I receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, I feel like I am walking through a door that is taking me closer to God. Most of my life was anonymous, but I feel all those experiences helped in sculpting the way to accept Jesus as my Savior. Since becoming a Catholic, the world is open to an entirely new dimension, a life that feels much more real.
Article is based on the Shalom World program “Jesus My Savior” featuring Jessica Braun. To watch the episode visit: https://www.shalomworldtv.org/videos/index/1897
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Know That God Has Chosen You. He Has Called You for Greater Things.
What Does It Mean To Be Called?
To begin with, it is not something we choose. Our entire life is about choices and to say that the most important thing that can happen to me is not my choice goes against our western individualistic grain. In America choice virtually defines our life. We are in charge of our life; we make choices for our life. This is the way any intelligent person would perceive reality.
But, Jesus puts it on an utterly different course: you are chosen. It is something done to you. This point puts us in an entirely different framework—when you see your life as a response to what the Jewish tradition has called election.
Being Chosen
Being chosen happens within the context of relationship. Walter Brueggemann, the great Protestant Scripture scholar, said the relationship between God and humanity is more “like the inscrutability of serious relationship than like anything else.” Basically, if you do not understand relationships … if you have never been in a serious relationship, then the entire notion of being called just will not resonate. The rules that obtain in a relationship with others are the same rules we have with God. All the stages of failure, apology, forgiveness, surrender, trust, vulnerability, renewal, starting over, asking for forgiveness, giving forgiveness are contained in our relationship with God. Relationships are the school of everything and the call to discipleship occurs within that context.
The clearest indication that you have experienced this chosen relationship is, frankly, the desire to give it back. When you choose to give yourself back to the One who has chosen you, that is where discipleship begins. But, it has to start with the experience of being beloved, of being chosen, of being significant or special in the eyes of God
If you do not know Jesus, if you are not falling in love with Him, the entire notion of being called just will not resonate. If we do not know the Lord then what we do will simply be about us. The older we get and the more ego-driven we are, the more bitter, controlling, complaining, blaming we become.
Full of Joy
The experience of being chosen, of election, of being called, situates the entire thing not in the context of duty—something you have to do to avoid feeling guilty— but more beautifully as we embrace discipleship out of a sense of joy. As the Psalmist says, “To do Your will is my delight.” Is there anything better than to do the Father’s will here and how? You can feel the difference. When someone is serving out of desire and delight, there is a palatable sense of joy and peace. He or she is literally “moving, living and having his or her being” in Jesus and it shows. When someone is simply acting out of obligation and routine, it is lifeless and often leads to cutting corners—doing the bare minimum to get by. When we do “obligatory Christianity” we tend toward a reward– punishment system. I will do this work to get rewarded or to avoid a certain punishment. It is basically a very strict way to live. It is all about duty and obligation; it is all spiritual “fire insurance” and you can tell there is no desire, no delight in the Lord … in giving back what has been given in abundance to us.
Saint Francis of Assisi said that his desire was to love back because he experienced being loved first. He experienced being chosen, of being loved deeply. If we have not experienced the love first then there is no love to give back. We cannot give what we do not have. As Francis said, we are all channels of God’s grace. If God loves us then whatever love we are able to give through ministry is simply letting God’s love flow in and through us. In the process the Doer uses us as His instrument of a love that is not our own.
Deepest Yearning of Your Heart
It seems that if we do not ground our Christian discipleship in being chosen, in being elected, we distort the meaning of spiritual desire. It is not really a desire for God, not a desire for communion and fellowship or for love but for identity—for security, power and need. When the entire work of following Jesus is grounded in the experience of election, being called, it purifies the nature of spiritual desire that is always a desire for union … a desire for relationship; only the “Other” can satisfy the deepest yearning of our heart. This “Other” is the Triune God.
I hope, dear reader, that I have given you the challenge and the courage to trust your own experience of being chosen, of being a beloved, of being elected. And, I hope you have the courage to rest there and to draw your strength from His presence. Through your modeling the gospel, people will be drawn to you because it is no longer you who lives but Christ who lives within you. People worldwide are attracted to Pope Francis because he radiates Jesus. God is calling you to do the same. You will describe and invite people into the very relationship that is transforming you.
Dear God, we praise and thank you that we are being chosen to be your love. May we live our life joyfully as we radiate the light of Christ to those around us. Grant us the grace to grow more and more in relationship with you, O triune God, so we may never falter from loving You more and more each day. Amen.
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Want a Transformation in Life? Saint Andrew and Saint John are here to Show you How!
It is a truth that the love of God meets you where you are; no matter what the situation, the love of God meets you in your mess, in your disasters, crisis, chaos, in all your troubles and sad circumstances. In the Gospel, we find people meeting Jesus and see how greatly their lives are transformed! I would like to reflect on two great saints who became apostles of Jesus and how Jesus and Mary transformed their lives.
Saint Andrew with Jesus
A few months ago, while reading some of the passages in the Gospel of John where Andrew appears, I reflected on the question of how knowing Jesus can change our lives.
Andrew was a disciple of John the Baptist. On hearing his master proclaim the gospel “Behold, the Lamb of God” and pointing to Jesus as He walked by, both Andrew and John got up and followed Him. When Jesus turned and saw them following, He asked, “What are you looking for?”They did not know how to respond because they were not sure themselves, and so they asked another question, “Rabbi, where are You staying?” Jesus invited them to come and see. The Gospel states that they said “Yes” to the invitation and stayed with Jesus that day. Even the time of day is noted in the Gospel of John, signifying that this time spent with Jesus was indeed one of transformation for both Andrew and John. They were not perfect at this point, but something changed in them.
The key statement that spoke to my heart was when Andrew first found his own brother Simon and told him the good news. “We have found the Messiah,” he said.What also came to mind were the words of Saint Paul to the jailor in Acts 16:31, “Believe in the Lord Jesus andyou and your household will be saved.” The promise of God is that believing and surrendering my life daily under the lordship of Jesus Christ will save my life and that of my family from eternal death. Did Andrew know this promise or was God leading him?
Life-Saving Action
Andrew’s first reaction was to find his own family, his own brother, proclaim the good news to him, then bring him to Jesus. The first lesson Andrew teaches us is that in our individual role as husband or wife, father or mother, son or daughter, brother or sister or even as a close friend, our primary duty in knowing Jesus is to present Him to our inner circle, our own family or in some cases, very close friends and to bring them to Jesus.
He teaches us that in today’s modern society, the salvation of the family or your inner circle is still God’s number-one priority. First, we need to embrace the discipline of spending time with Jesus as Andrew did, not for His sake but for ours, so we are transformed on the inside. We have to intentionally grow in this discipline. We may not become perfect as long as we live, but at the least we are a work in progress on the journey to perfection. We become a tragedy to our families and society if we simply remain as raw material.
Second, Andrew teaches us to work for the salvation of our families or close friends. The reality is that family or very close friendships can be the place where you are loved the most but also where you are let down the most because of brokenness. Whether I am loved or let down in my own family or close friendship setting, I am not excused from working for the salvation of myself. I cannot ignore the salvation of my family or close friendships.
Another place where Andrew is mentioned in the Gospel of John is at the multiplication of the loaves. Jesus Himself knew what He was going to do, but to test His disciples, He asked how to buy enough food for the crowd to eat. It was Andrew who called attention or brought before Jesus the boy with five barley loaves and two fish. Even as he did this, he most likely questioned how a tiny portion could satisfy the entire crowd.
An Act of Trust
Oftentimes, we can look at the messiness of our own lives and become dejected with the reality that we can never be an instrument of God to lead our families or close friends to Him. Rather than becoming a blessing to our families or close friends, we often become a snare. It is in these circumstances where Divine Mercy, who is Jesus, meets the broken me and says, “I desire to transform the broken, imperfect, raw material of your life into a Eucharist, so that you become a blessing for your own family, close friends and others. Will you trust Me enough to surrender your broken self to me?” Andrew knew the impossibility in the proposal of Jesus. We know the intensity of our own misery and wonder if anything good could come out of us.
In his heart, Andrew questions the wisdom in the plan of Jesus. We often do the same. Despite Andrew’s struggle to find the logic in the proposal of Jesus, he trusted that his master could do something wonderful with the little he had to offer. He cannot explain how, but he trusted because he knew what he felt deep inside his heart when he spent that day with Jesus. Andrew teaches us to make an act of trusting surrender in each Eucharistic celebration and daily prayer time.
Give into the hands of Jesus the messiness of your life. Do not be content with allowing the raw material of our lives to remain as such, but surrender it to Jesus. Jesus takes the brokenness of our lives and raises it up not to humiliate us in front of others, but to ask the blessing of the heavenly Father upon the most imperfect gift we surrender.
After the blessing—which is the infilling of the Holy Spirit—we are distributed to our families and close friends. They are filled with joy because as I am distributed, it is no longer I they see, but Jesus, who dwells in me. Even after they surrender their lives to Christ, I am not exhausted of grace, but the spring of living waters continues to flow out from me. In fact, there is a huge abundance of grace. Thank you, dear Jesus, for the lessons you teach us through the life of Saint Andrew.
Saint John with Mother Mary
One of the hidden yet powerful lessons of the Gospels is that the time spent with Mother Mary is indeed the time spent training in virtue. This lesson is unfolded for us when we examine the transformation that took place in the beloved disciple John at the empty tomb.
Upon the report from Mary of Magdalene, both Peter and John ran to the tomb, but John reached it first. The Bible says John did not go in, but rather waited for Simon Peter to get there and go in first. Then John followed. I used to wonder why the Bible highlighted this specific act because it seemed so insignificant. My doubts were cleared by a priest who explained the reason behind this during his homily. At the foot of the cross after Jesus had entrusted his mother into the care of John, from that hour the disciple took Mary into his home.
John got to spend the entire day (Holy Saturday) with Mother Mary. During that time, John must have laid his head on her lap, because John had a habit of reclining at Jesus’ side when he was with Him. As Mother Mary stroked his hair, she must have reminded John that Jesus used to do the same thing. At that moment, however, there was a gap in virtue between the two. Why was John lacking in virtue?
Finding the Pitfalls
In the Gospel of Luke, it states that Jesus and His disciples were on their way to Jerusalem, and they were going to pass through a Samaritan village, but the villagers did not welcome Him. Then James and John asked Jesus if they should call down fire from heaven to consume the people. Jesus turns and rebukes them. This incident shows that John was hot-tempered. He was easily prone to anger and revenge. While lying on Mary’s lap, John was reminded of his lack of virtue and surrendered this area of his heart into the hands of Mary.
In the Gospel of Mathew, the mother of John and James approach Jesus asking Him to command that in His kingdom, her sons would sit on His right and left. This showed that John desired a place of honor and lacked the virtue of humility. He probably also harbored a grudge in his heart toward Peter who was appointed as head of the Church when Jesus said, “You are rock and upon this rock I will build My church.”
From the Lap of Mary
While spending Holy Saturday with Mother Mary, John was reminded of his desire to be served rather than to serve. It was a powerful retreat for John to be in the presence of Mother Mary, one that totally transformed him. How do we know he was transformed?
When he writes the Gospel of John, he does not name himself but refers to himself as the other disciple or the one whom Jesus loved, showing the virtue of humility. Similarly, when Peter and John arrived at the empty tomb, although John arrived first, he did not go in but rather waited for Peter to do so first. This act showed that he accepted the authority of Peter and no longer desired the seat of honor.
In spending time with Mother Mary, John embraced the desire to serve rather than be served. I believe Saint John Paul II stated once that the aspect of Mary that gets neglected the most is meditation on her virtues. In other words, as a Catholic I am not spending enough time with Mary training in virtue.
Growing in Virtue
Dear Mother Mary, help us to spend time with you as John did, that we also may become more like Jesus, so that in us virtue will shine and vice disappear. I feel it is no accident that the Bible does not mention the name Mother Mary or Mary mother of Jesus after Acts 1. While there are references to Mary in Revelation, the term Mary the Mother of Jesus is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible after Acts 1. It is as if Mary chose to remain in the upper room, in the room of prayer and silence, waiting for us to enter and train with her in virtue.
Training in virtue is a lifelong process, and to do it effectively involves a lot of dying to self, renewing our thought process and attitudes, and evaluating our convictions and ideas in the presence of one who is full of grace. By remaining in the room of silence, Mary reminds us that this training does not have to be done alone—she is there to guide us so our transformation and progress is according to the will of God and so we will bear abundant fruit and glorify God.
Dear Jesus and Mary, we thank you for the lessons given to us through Saint Andrew and Saint John. Truly we accept our weaknesses and failures; we surrender ourselves into your hands. Help us to spend time with you so we may grow more and more in virtues and be transformed in Spirit. Amen.
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Approximately 20 years ago I knew the immense love of God. Having had a close relationship with Him and after experiencing many healings, I turned my back and denied Him. From then on, for many years I fell into committing mortal sins. A soon as I realized my pitiful state, I cried out to Him: “JESUS I NEED YOU, JESUS I CAN’T STAY AWAY FROM SIN … PLEASE HELP ME!” I really longed to put an end to those sins in my life but I kept falling back into sin, over and over again.
In May of 2016 my sister sent me an email with the Shalom Retreat invitation. Going through it I thought, this is what I had been in need of for such a long time and I will surely go; it was at the end of the invitation I noticed that the registration was $200!
I immediately called her and said, “I am not going because you know that I am not working and I don’t have any money!” (I did have the money but I just did not want to pay for it.) She pleaded, “Oli, no, please wait. Before you make a decision please call Shalom Media and maybe they can help you and if they don’t I will and you will go for that retreat.”
I called Shalom Media, playing the victim game, and the lady who answered my call said she would call me back. Soon she did and she asked, “Do you know that the retreat is outside of San Antonio?” I said yes. Then she asked, “Can you stay in the retreat center?” I said yes. She said, “The retreat is paid in full.” Jesus knew how greatly I needed Him. Later I found out that the lady who answered the call had paid my retreat fees out of her pocket.
During the retreat I met Father George Antony O.P, who became instrumental in taking me back to Jesus. When I first heard Father George speaking, I could not put aside the thought that I was really listening to a saint. From the moment I entered that retreat, I could not stop crying. The Holy Spirit was guiding Father George to make me understand that no matter what others did to me, I needed to forgive them.
Words fail to describe what I felt in my heart as I sat looking at Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and Him looking at me. I could feel the compassion, the mercy and how Jesus was accepting me with His immense love even after I had turned my back on Him. That was the most beautiful and, yet, most painful moment of my life: I was feeling the pain of having been separated from my Lord. I was experiencing the sorrows He suffered for my sin; Jesus was accepting me despite everything I had done. He was telling me how He was thirsting for me all those years and that we were together again, never to be separated.
The Shalom Retreat changed my life. I was afraid to go back home because I did not know where to begin. All Father George told me was to “trust the Lord.” This was a true challenge. The first three days after the retreat, I felt as if the devil was trying to make me go crazy. My entire family was praying for me; on the fourth day I went to the Blessed Sacrament and I said, “Jesus, you know I want to come back to You, and You also know the devil is making me crazy. Jesus I need You to stop this, I can’t do it on my own.” That same day my house was blessed and since then I have not seen the works of the devil in my home. Praise the Lord!
I began attending daily mass but my daughters were truly upset about the big change in me. I started praying for them, asking Jesus for mercy upon all of us. Throughout the year I invited family and friends to go to all of the Shalom events. I gave flyers to others, wherever I went. Several months before the 2017 Shalom Retreat I invited my niece to join me. She accepted and after the retreat she called me to thank me for inviting her. She also experienced the immense love of the Lord in her life—how greatly her life changed!
One day I was sitting before the Blessed Sacrament and had one flyer left for the 2017 retreat. A lady came in so I approached her and told her I had an invitation for her. I did not know her situation but I said, “Jesus is the one who is inviting you to this retreat.” She began crying and said, “I won’t be able to go because I’m not working.” I told her that Jesus wanted her to go and I would pay for her registration. I gave her my phone number and asked her to call when she was leaving. She did go to the retreat and she became deeply involved with Shalom Media USA. Praise the Lord!!
I was not planning to attend the 2017 Shalom Retreat but I wanted that retreat for my girls. I asked them to come with me as a Mother’s Day gift. I thought that way they would. My two older girls did not accept my invitation, only one of my girls came with me. This really saddened my heart, but our awesome God exceeded my expectations.
In that retreat He was calling me into deeper conversion. He healed my mind, body and soul— up until then I could never sleep without taking sleeping pills. Since that retreat I have not taken a sleeping pill and I sleep peacefully throughout the night. During the adoration on the last day, my daughter experienced the love of God; my joy knows no bounds. Praise the Lord! I continue to pray for the conversion of my girls, and I still give out as many Shalom Retreat flyers as I possibly can. I am involved in the Shalom Revival program in San Antonio. I am also part of the organizing team for the spiritual sharing session, all for the glory and praise of the Lord!
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One Sunday, during communion time of the Holy Mass: while all were wrapped in prayer, a three-year old girl strides across the pew. In a flick of a second, she grabs her big sister’s precious veil. Not losing a moment, like a big girl she pops into the communion line.
When her turn came, the very old priest with the chalice in his hand looked down hesitatingly while she poised to receive the Blessed Sacrament. Much to her dismay, all her dreams were shattered when her dear godmother tucked her away and received her communion. The little one took all her energy to open her godmother’s mouth saying, “I too want the sweet!”
Make a Wish
In my childish desire, I thought the Blessed Sacrament was a sweet given to the grownups. As I now remember this incident, how truly right I was. Approximately six years later I walked down the aisle in a pure white gown to receive Jesus in the Holy Sacrament. Did I feel the sweetness? I wish I could narrate as Saint Therese did in her autobiography “The Story of my Soul” that I was lost in His ocean of love. In faith I believed Jesus came into my heart and that day was so filled with grace, but like the Saints who left behind their memoirs I could not perceive with my senses the sweetness or the ecstasy of receiving Jesus.
Years later, while I was in college, there was a small chapel at the center of our campus. We had daily mass and weekly adorations there. As I sat for adoration before the venerated Blessed Sacrament, I wondered if all this were really true. Is Jesus really present in the Blessed Sacrament? I found many real-life stories on the miracles of the Blessed Sacrament turning into the body and blood of jesus. Yet my heart pondered on how I could really believe. I began to wish if only I could experience a small ray of light.
A Deep Insight
One day while receiving the Holy Communion I had the same indifference and knelt down to pray. When I closed my eyes, I saw a wound that was excruciatingly painful. The skin was pale yellow with a deep, freshly cut wound and I still shudder while remembering this. I knew this was not my thought or even imagination. I later understood how deeply I wounded my dear Jesus with my disbelief and lack of trust. From then on, I walked the tight rope of believing without seeing and never dared to hurt Him.
Later, during a retreat, I was part of the intercession team, which gave me ample time to be in His presence before the Blessed Sacrament. Sitting there for more than a few hours, I began to experience great peace and consolation. I felt as if I was already in heaven and the joy that filled my heart could not be experienced by any success or fame that this world offers. It was as if I was floating happily, light as a feather. Without a single word, He understood everything and I knew the love of God is beyond words. He loves us so immensely and all I could do was love Him back by humbly giving myself, completely without reserve.
Heartbroken
During Holy Communion a few years back I happened to be at the end of the line. Before my turn to receive, the priest hesitated for a while (owing to the lesser number of hosts in his chalice). A few people were behind me. The priest took the host and broke it inside the chalice. Without even thinking I cringed at the sound of the breaking host. my heart was pounding heavily as I prepared to receive. Raising a quarter of the host, the priest chanted those familiar words, “The Body and Blood of Christ.” As I walked back to the pew I could not hold back my tears: jesus was torn into pieces for me.
Indeed, Jesus is broken every day for us during the Holy mass—but why? We often resort to praying for our daily needs: a better job, to find the one and get married, a better apartment or home, for children and their good upbringing, paying the bills, healing from various diseases and so on.
Is this the reason why Jesus died on the cross? All these blessings were abundantly poured out even before Jesus’ time. In the Old Testament we see God’s blessing of good health, children, family, wealth and prosperity on His chosen people. To give us these gifts God did not have to undergo any pain; He gave joyfully to those who loved Him.
There is one gift—the most precious of all His gifts—God really desires to give us. For giving us this gift, Jesus had to go through sufferings in His lifetime.
Why?
Born in Bethlehem, He was laid in a manger—a feeding trough for the animals. In the bitter cold, why was the new born baby wrapped only in swaddling clothes?
While fleeing to Egypt, baby Jesus shivered with the chilling wind of the night even as he clung to His dear mother. Why was a baby put to such a plight?
Until the age of 30 years, Jesus lived an ordinary life of a carpenter, depending on the meager wages he got for the work. Why?
For three years, why did Jesus go about preaching the Kingdom of God, healing and doing well to all those around?
Though gentle and kind to all, He was still called a blasphemer, a crazy, senseless man, friend of sinners and prostitutes. Why?
In the garden of Gethsemane, as he knelt bathed in drops of blood, why did Jesus cry out, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet not my will but Yours be done.”
He was unjustly judged by three judges during the flower of His youth and tormented with insults, spits, blows, lacerations and other unheard of cruelties. Why?
Crowned with thorns, and with a reed placed in His hands, He was crushed with blows and overwhelmed by outrages. Why?
His sacred hands and legs were nailed to the cross, blow after blow and not finding Jesus in a pitiable enough state to satisfy their rage, they increased His wounds, adding pain after pain. He endured all this but why?
With indescribable cruelty His body was stretched on the cross and pulled from all sides, thus dislocating His limbs. Why?
From the crown of His head to the soles of His feet there was not one spot on His body that was not tormented and yet, forgetting all His sufferings, why did Jesus cry out, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do?”
A sorrowful mother watched her Son persecuted and crucified, dying a torturous death, but she never complained. Why?
In His last agony why did Jesus suffer beyond human imagination, His body torn and heartbroken: He cried out, “Father, into Thy hands I commend my Spirit!”
A soldier pierced His side with a lance: blood and water gushed forth till there was not a single drop left in His body. Why was He lifted like a bundle of myrrh to the top of the cross, His delicate flesh destroyed, the very substance of His body withered and the marrow of His bones dried up?
The Greatest Gift
Jesus himself gave the answer for all His sufferings, from conception to the top of the cross. On the night, before He was given up to death jesus washed the feet of His disciples. During the Last Supper, “He took bread, and when He had given thanks He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” Then He took the Cup saying, “This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood” (Luke 22:19-20).
Today He offers you His most precious gift—His body and blood in the form of the Blessed Sacrament. every celebration of the Holy Mass is a call to receive this precious gift that God our Father gives us—His dear beloved Son. Like the mother pelican bird in the face of starvation, who wounds herself by striking her breast to feed the young with her blood, so does Jesus feed us with His body and blood in the Blessed Sacrament. Jesus suffered greatly; He was broken to heal our brokenness and to give us new life.
Today Jesus waits for you. Like a divine prisoner, He longs to be received into your heart. “O taste and see, for Jesus is sweeter than honey in the comb.” Will, you not receive this precious gift from God with all your heart?
Divine Savior, we come to Your sacred table to nourish ourselves, not with bread but with Yourself, true Bread of eternal life. Help us daily to make a good and perfect meal of this divine food. Let us be continually refreshed by the perfume of Your kindness and goodness. May the Holy Spirit fill us with His Love. Meanwhile, let us prepare a place for this holy food by emptying our hearts. Amen.
—Prayer before Communion by Saint Francis De Sales
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Are You Empty Handed?
When I reflect on the question of simplicity in my life, I believe it is dependent on how much I am willing to surrender before God in my personal prayer time. This thought struck a chord in my heart through an analogy shared by my friend who is a full-time Catholic evangelist.
While he was leading a group of adults in praise and worship, this friend made them do an action song. One of the actions was to raise both hands up high and throw them out forward. After the praise and worship session, an elderly lady approached the evangelist and told him her hands were starting to ache after that action song, particularly because of this action. As soon as my friend heard this, he said the Holy Spirit spoke to him. This is the thought that came into his mind: When there is no weight in your hand and you throw empty hands forward, it is going to ache after some time – but if you hold something that has weight in your hand and then throw your hands forward, your hands will not ache as much.
What is the spiritual lesson from this? Many times, we participate in praise and worship or prayer sessions during a retreat or at mass but, despite our active participation, we still feel anxious or burdened. Any joy we feel after a spiritual program is momentary and does not last into the next day or week or month. This is because we have misunderstood the purpose of prayer, praise and worship.
Real Purpose of Prayer
We know that by praising God or by praying to Him we are not adding to His glory. He is God, He does not need our praise and prayer. We praise Him or pray to Him for our benefit. When we gather to praise God, Jesus does not stand before us like a celebrity and say, “Keep it coming. Give me all that praise and thanks because it makes me feel good.”
The Holy Spirit told my friend that Jesus stands before us in the position of a catcher and He moves from side to side in front of us hoping to catch our burdens, sadness and worries. The problem is that often times at these praise-and-worship sessions Jesus has nothing to catch because nobody is throwing or surrendering their anxieties to Him. We praise God and sing to Him, lifting hands that are empty and so despite singing with all our effort, after some time, the anxiety returns. This is a great lesson I learned about simplicity which was absent in my life because I did not understand the true purpose of personal prayer or praise and worship.
Jesus stands before me in the position of a catcher every time I show up before Him because I am not going to add to His glory through my prayer or praise. I pray and praise Jesus. The best way I can let Jesus help me is to throw my burdens and anxieties to Him as I sing, pray and praise. In doing this, I truly surrender myself into the hands of Jesus and I experience Him in my soul. Following that, I feel joy, which will last into the next hour, day, week, month, and my life becomes simple.
Am I Worthy?
Even as joy increases in my soul, satan throws another curve ball at me. How can God love me after all the times I failed to keep my promises? He goes about pricking our mind with the fact that we are repeat offenders. In other words, we do the same sins over and over again and therefore God cannot show us love and mercy. This is a crucial moment of confusion and doubt.
I came across a reflection on a bible passage by a Catholic priest. Earlier this year, I heard a speaker explaining that the words in the bible are saturated with the love of God. Even in words of chastisement spoken by God in scripture, we can find His hidden, immense love. I began to dwell on this and wondered if this were true.
What came to mind was the incident when Jesus tells Peter, “Get behind me, satan!” Here Jesus was foretelling about the great suffering, death and resurrection, which awaited Him at Jerusalem. Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke him saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you” (Matthew 16:21-23).
Reflecting on all the times I broke my promises to God, I thought if Jesus called Peter a satan, what would he call me?
Saving Love
It was then that I heard this talk by a Catholic priest who said that when Peter was trying to convince Jesus to avoid the cross and suffering, Jesus realized satan was infusing those negative thoughts into Peter’s mind and his plan was to lead Peter astray. Peter was in trouble. Seeing the storm that was going to come upon him, Jesus told Peter to get behind Him, stand behind Him because he would be safe. In the Bible text there is a comma after Jesus says get behind me, then Jesus looked at satan and called him as such and said satan, you are an obstacle to me. We are not thinking as God does, but as human beings do. My heart melted and I was in tears when I heard this passage explained this way.
It was then I began to understand the role of Jesus as my savior. Satan roars at me and wants to lead me astray. At this point, Jesus places himself between the evil one and me because this is the role of Jesus, my savior. He makes me move behind Him where I will be safe and then He faces the storm. This makes satan even more agitated. As a result, Jesus suffers intensely, which is because of my disobedience in the first place. By placing Himself between storm and me, our heavenly Father looks at me through Jesus and so I receive divine mercy.
Other Side of the Cross
Meditating on Isaiah chapter 53, we find he opened not his mouth several times. Jesus was very calm and silent and this silence was so powerful that after nailing Jesus to the cross, satan lost every ounce of energy—he could not lift a finger nail to even scratch me. The picture I saw in my mind at the end of Good Friday is of Jesus on the Cross, Jesus who gave up His spirit; satan crushed to the ground exhausted and I was left standing without a wrinkle on my clothing.
You and I are children of the heavenly Father. We are His chosen ones, His beloved children. When we have this great privilege, how can Jesus call us satan? He sees the storm that is rising around us and commands us to get behind Him where we will be always safe. The other side of Jesus’ cross was not left empty without reason—it was so I would place myself on it, where I can freely surrender all my fear of approaching God. It does not matter where I have been because that place is reserved for me. It is not a place of condemnation but of hope and safety.
Dear Jesus, I thank you for filling my heart with great hope. Help me to surrender everything to you. Even when I fall many times into sin, let me approach you with confidence in Your mercy. Make me truly Yours, O Lord, as I offer into Your hands all the burdens I carry in my life. Amen.
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Reawakening
As I walked through my new neighborhood in Paterson, I wondered where I could find a Christian bookstore. From a truck, a man called out, “Would you like to find a Christian bookstore?” I was amazed that God would answer me so promptly! The owner of the shop assured me “The Cross and the Switchblade” would be a fine gift for the student in my fiction course, so I bought it.
Reading the book before wrapping it, I was mesmerized by the author’s midnight prayer experience. He was haunted by the “TIME” magazine cover picturing six young drug addicts on their way to trial. Several times he clearly heard the Lord urging in his heart “Go to New York City.”
This minister got in his car and drove hundreds of miles. With Bible in hand, he tracked down the addicts and told them that Jesus could save them. He spoke not as a professional doctor or teacher, but only with the power and love of the Holy Spirit. Some addicts accepted Jesus and were delivered from drugs—thus opening an extensive ministry to them and others.
As I finished the book at 2 am, I felt wrung through my own conversion, guilty because I knew Jesus was real but had done little to share this treasure. I had even neglected to pray deeply and said “no” to a request that had left me depressed the entire year.
After 10 years as a Sister, how few people I had evangelized! The spirit our pioneer Sister-missionaries had, in the 1960s, succumbed to a popular phobia against “fanatic behavior.” People say, “Don’t talk about Jesus, just show Him through your teaching.” These new ways did not seem to work for me. When I returned to buy more copies of the book, the owner told me, “There’s a Catholic group in Rutherford that holds prayer meetings every Thursday evening.”
Renewal
Though I yearned to run off to Rutherford, I had obligations with our college’s girls’ basketball team. Instead, I devoured books on this phenomenon called Charismatic Renewal. It was what I had been seeking all my life. I became an instant convert. I learned more deeply on how to help people have a personal relationship with Jesus. I was surprised about people receiving spiritual gifts as the apostles had in the Bible’s Book of Acts, especially moved that ordinary people could speak words of convicting prophecy, pray immediately and anywhere for the Lord to heal people, and use a prayer-language called “tongues.” Some of our Sisters returned from prayer meetings with true miracle stories, “Young men stand and tell how
Jesus totally changed them.” “They talk about scripture like priests.” I finally got to these prayer meetings and saw for myself the great things about which I had heard. I truly could say “I want the power to share Jesus and His love. I want Him to baptize me in His Holy Spirit.” After I was prayed over, the Spirit who had first come to me in my baptism, who renewed me in my confirmation, now took over my life. At one meeting, I felt a queasy “prompting” to divulge my early story I had been unable to open even to sisters. I promised, “Jesus, I will tell my story if I hear the word, rescue, since that’s what I thank You for every day.” A girl with a small Bible began to read Psalm 17 and three times I heard my fleece-word. My voice shook but grew steadier as I described my agonized search through supposed sins, fears and missteps. “Although I have known Jesus since my childhood, and I felt His Love burning in my heart, I could not communicate how much I love Him and how others could also find Him. In the Charismatic Renewal, I learned to really hear the Holy Spirit in my heart and what the Spirit calls me to do.”
Life in the Spirit!
While I had many things to work through, I knew the Holy Spirit in me was the most true gift I had, that He would lead me and that He had many gifts to assist me. He put the inner and outer me together. He showed me how to share Jesus and to evangelize wherever I was. He gave me the courage to say “Yes” to two foreign mission calls among the Chinese. He led me to find support systems with other charismatics during decades of ups and downs in the church, the world and in my various ministries. For the past six years. I have shared with a diocesan service team giving “Life in the Spirit” seminars. I am only one of millions of people throughout the world who has come into this great charismatic renewal.
I praise God for His grace beyond anything I could have imagined.
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My wife and I bought this wonderful DVD, “The Greatest Miracle,” an animated movie about the mass. In one scene during the offertory, beside each person attending the Holy Mass stands his/her guardian angel. When the offertory begins, some of the guardian angels are able to fly toward the altar. Others remain standing with a very sad expression on their face because their appointed one is not offering any prayers. Those angels have nothing to place on the altar with the bread and wine. How many times have I been disengaged from what is happening at mass? By doing this, I have not allowed God to find me in the most powerful setting in history, the Holy Mass. How often have I disheartened my guardian angel?
The Cost Price
In Samuel 2:24, we read about Araunah trying to offer his oxen to King David for burnt offerings and the threshing sledges and yokes of oxen for wood—all for free! He did not want any payment from King David. David says, “I will buy it from you at the proper price, for I cannot sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” My attitude at Holy Mass is often very different from that of David. He pleased the Lord by offering a sacrifice that cost him something; I often go to the Holy Mass and do not offer anything, thus participating in a sacrifice that costs me nothing.
What should I offer that will cost me? Jesus reminds me of His sacrifice on the cross. The whole world seemed to be against Him, insulting and cursing Him, and He suffered greatly. A human temptation would be backlash toward those who persecuted Him, shouting back in anger or keeping silent and saying nothing, yet holding the anger inside the heart. Jesus resisted this temptation. Instead He prayed “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do.” These words pleased the Father because the Son did not participate in a sacrifice that cost Him nothing but one that cost Him everything. Jesus was innocent and He chose to forgive. This is the payment God is expecting from me during the Holy Mass—to surrender my anger, frustration and hurtful feelings on the altar. I need to offer these at Holy Mass during the offertory and my guardian angel will burst with joy. When I offer up the negative stuff, I let God find me. At mass it is more difficult to offer to Jesus my hurt than money. Offering up my refusal to forgive those who have hurt me is what is really going to cost me.
To Follow Close
I became convinced of this when I meditated on Acts 7:54-60, which depicts the Martyrdom of Saint Stephen. In the profession of the faith, we proclaim that Jesus is seated at the right hand of God. In the account of Saint Stephen’s martyrdom, we read that as he is getting ready to be executed, he is filled with the Holy Spirit. In a vision he see the glory of God and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God. Saint Stephen, filled with an unconditional love for God, sees an image of heaven as he is going to die. He sees Jesus, the Son of God, standing up. Jesus is cheering him on, probably clapping his hands and urging him toward the finish line. What a wonderful picture. It is probable to assume that Jesus’ eyes are fixed on his beloved servant Stephen or that they are looking into each other’s eyes.
In verse 58, a young man, Saul, enters the scene. He is the one persecuting the church. Let us hold that thought and come back to it. In verse 59 it states that as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Have we heard the words before? Luke’s gospel tells us that Jesus uttered these same words on the cross: “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit” Jesus then breathed his last.
When Stephen said, “Lord Jesus receive my spirit,” the Bible does not say he immediately took his last breath. Stephen, after seeing this great vision of Jesus standing up for him, was excited to get to heaven.
Jesus was crucified, Stephen was stoned. Stephen follows the formula. He says, “Lord, receive my spirit,” yet his spirit does not leave his body; he is still alive. Why?
Up Close
This is when Stephen looks at the face of Jesus again and comes to a true understanding of divine mercy. As he is being stoned, Jesus is standing up and cheering him on, clapping His hands, yet the eyes of Jesus are not fixed on Stephen but on Saul. When Stephen focused on the face of Jesus, he realized that Jesus was looking at Saul with extreme compassion. There was no anger, no disappointment, only a radical love on Jesus’ face.
Stephen then realized the difference between himself and Jesus. Stephen was in a hurry to get to heaven and said, “Lord, receive my spirit,” skipping over the prayer Jesus had made before He offered His spirit—Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. Stephen realized he was offering a sacrifice that cost him nothing.
Jesus is divine mercy. We have a Savior who looks kindly on the very people that crucified Him as He was taking His last breath. Jesus wants the people who crucified Him to be with Him forever in eternity. This is the nature of divine mercy.
In today’s society, our merciful Savior looks with compassion on the perpetrators of crime and murder, in the hope of redeeming them.
Does this action of Jesus bother us? Saint Stephen is not a saint today because he was stoned for his faith in Jesus. In Saint Paul’s discourse on love he says that “if you hand your body over you may boast, but have not love, you are nothing”.
Ready-to Pay the Price?
When Saint Stephen did not die as expected and looked at the face of divine mercy, he understood the hidden desire of the sacred heart-Jesus was excited that Stephen was coming to heaven. He would be very happy if Saul, the murderer, also made it to heaven. Divine mercy is extending an invitation to Stephen-will you pray the prayer of forgiveness as I did on the cross, for all of humanity? Will you pray the prayer of conversion for souls who are perishing? Will you intercede on behalf of those who are ending your life? It is at this point when Stephen understands the unfathomable love of divine mercy. His sincere response, “Lord, do not hold this against them,” got him over the finish line into heaven. When he forgave those who were stoning him, his sacrifice became pleasing to God because it had cost him. He paid for it by surrendering the anger he held toward those who were hurting him. This prayer is what made him a Saint. The Bible says that after he prayed this prayer he fell asleep.
Let us ask ourselves again, does this action of Jesus bother us? Is he showing us less love by looking with compassion at those who are persecuting us and making us suffer? I do not believe so. I think we should interpret this attitude of divine mercy in this manner: God places much value, and regards very highly, the prayer of forgiveness, the prayer of conversion and the intercession we offer on behalf of others. He responds when these prayers come from our hearts because he loves each of us and sincerely desires all to be with Him in heaven. It is very hard to pray for those who are persecuting us. Can we pray sincerely that they might also get to heaven? God can do something with the little we offer. If we ask Him He will help us pray, with all sincerity, for the conversion of sinners. This response to divine mercy will help us get over the finish line of our lives to meet the Savior in heaven. This is what will make us Saints; this is what made Stephen a Saint.
Lord Jesus, help me to allow you to find me every time I attend the Holy Mass or pray. Help me to surrender all that is negative inside of me, so that I am offering a worthy sacrifice that costs me dearly, along with Your sacrifice. Since this is pleasing to the Father, I can truly receive the graces of the Eucharist and rejoice with my guardian angel. Amen.
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We hear this question a lot. Where is God? Where can you find God? Can you see Him? Do you know His address? Can you hear Him? Then, how do you find God? The answer comes in the form of some other questions: Is it possible to stand in the rain and stay completely dry? Is it possible to jump into the ocean and not get wet? Is it possible to hold a very hot plate without getting burned?
The answer is yes! If you cover yourself with a very good quality rain coat, then you can stand in the rain without getting wet. If you jump into the ocean with the right gear, then you can come out completely dry. You can pick up a hot plate without getting burned if you have the right gloves. We cannot really question the wetness of water or the power of heat in these scenarios. Similarly, we cannot question the presence of God around us if there is something separating us.
The Best Way to Find God
What did Jesus say about this? Jesus simply said, “… I am with you always” (Matthew 28:20). Jesus is saying that He is with us always and everywhere. Jesus also said, “Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). For a long time, these words did not make any sense for me. How is this possible? Why am I not able to always find Jesus when I seek Him? If He is with me always, then why am I not able to find Him?
A simple story in the Bible explains this. Jesus was walking in the crowd where people were pushing and pulling him from every direction. Then Jesus asked “… Who was it that touched me?” (Luke 8:45). It does not make sense; what kind of question is this? People, who were meeting Jesus for the first time, probably thought He was crazy. Yet, no one had the courage to ask Him. Peter politely asked Jesus, “… Master, the multitudes surround You and press upon You” (Luke 8:45).” Jesus clarified, “Someone touched Me; for I perceive that power has gone forth from Me” (Luke 8:46).
Apparently, it is possible to be in the presence of God without experiencing His healing. One of the ways we can experience Him is to follow the example of the woman in the story. When I read this, I understood a couple of things.
1. She was scared to come out because she did not feel worthy of receiving Him. She approached Jesus with repentance and humility.
2. She had faith in Jesus, for she said, “If I touch even His garments, I shall be made well” (Mark 5:28).
This means if we repent of our sins and approach Jesus with faith and humility then nothing can stop us from experiencing Him. Even Jesus does not have a process in place to stop it. You can see in this example that the woman was healed instantly. What a simple but powerful event, where Jesus gives this much authority to our hands.
Remember that the next time when you approach Jesus during prayer or Holy Communion, the heavens are wide open. God’s love, mercy and healing are flowing regardless of who you are or where you are. Take off that raincoat by approaching Him with repentance, humility and faith. Then, nothing can stop you from getting soaked in the presence of God.
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I have a great prayer intention. Before I offer it up, I check out every angle as if I am purchasing a used car. The tires are sound, because this prayer is absolutely not about me. In fact, it is the most selfless prayer I have ever uttered. It will get great mileage. If answered, this prayer will bring many people happiness, joy, relief, conversion. What is not to love about this intention?
There is a catch. I have forgotten to look under the hood and ask, “But is it God’s will?” There are atheists and anti-Christians who would leap on that question. Aha! If it is a great intention and God does not answer it, it must be because He does not exist. At the very least, He is a mean God, one who would allow children to get cancer.
Since God is love, it would be impossible for Him to be mean, and I have seen proof of His existence in my life. Still, why would God find fault with such a great prayer intention? The answer is because He wants the greater good, or the good of us all.
While I am looking at an isolated need— isolated by the fact that I am human and can only see a very small portion of the big picture—God IS the big picture. He sees not only my limited world-view but the intricate way everything I am looking at touches situations I am not aware of and people’s lives I would not even know to consider.
There was an obvious example in the news, a situation where a good man was under attack by ideologists. It was a crazy situation and one that seems unbelievable in more ways than one. The obvious prayer is for protection for this man, that God help him prevail over his attackers.
What if, through that man’s suffering, God can bring about the conversion of his attackers? Since God cares about every soul, I can see which would be His priority, can you? It is possible that one of those converted souls may become a modern Saint Paul, bringing many people to Jesus.
If you think that means we should not pray or be specific with our prayers, that is not where I am headed. Instead, my example is a call to Trust. I should pray for the man, but at the same time, I should leave it in God’s hands, because God sees the big picture. I offer my prayers with the caveat that His will be done, and I do this with complete trust that He will bring about the greatest good. Usually, it is something far greater than I have asked for.
If you begin to pray in trust your entire life will change. When challenges come, you will be confident that there is a good that will come out of each situation, even if you do not get to see it. You will stress less, and you might even become excited to see how God is answering your prayers in amazing ways that you had not anticipated.
The point is, we do not know God’s will. It is bigger than anything we could imagine. Sometimes our prayer requests fall in line with that will, but sometimes they do not.
If you learn to trust His will and let go of controlling the outcome, then you will discover that every prayer is answered and every answered prayer is for His glory.
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