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Sep 20, 2019 1814 Shalom Tidings
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Born for a Reason

Did you know that God created you for a reason? Let Nancy Salerno inspire you to find the real purpose of life as she shares the journey of her life and the greatest gift God gave her.

“For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” —Psalm 139:13-14

The First Seeds

As a young girl, I was very thin and small. When children were chosen for playground games, such as soccer or basketball, I was always the last one chosen. Rejection is always hard to take. It always bothered me and made me feel bad, so I would often go and play by myself. Feelings of worthlessness took root in my heart.

My dad did not have any boys, so I filled that role. Although he taught me how to fish and hunt, I knew that not having a son really bothered him. He always wanted a boy and being the firstborn, I felt that I let him down in some way. So, in spite of the wonderful memories of great times, we enjoyed together, I never felt that I was worthy of his love. Even though I was a great student, I lacked a sense of purpose and direction.

So, when I went to college, I was very lost. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I dreamt of working for the UN in international relations, but without a deep seated belief in myself, I was wandering aimlessly. Surprisingly, I met my husband in college, which became a turning point in my life.

I will never forget that New Year’s Eve. As Mark and I descended in an elevator from a party, I could see a light over his head and heard a voice saying, ‘This is the man you are going to marry’. I denied it and the voice said ‘yes!’ As the elevator opened, the light disappeared. Later on, I understood that there wouldn’t be a better husband or a loving father to my children than Mark.

Expecting the Unexpected

As a newly married couple, we never talked much about kids and, to be honest with you, I had actually never liked them. I thought children were a nuisance. Later, I thought maybe one perfect child would be okay. After a very early miscarriage, we were over the moon about my second pregnancy. Everything was going well until I suddenly began to cry when we were leaving the hospital after a blood test. I couldn’t get over the thought that there was something wrong with the baby. A couple of weeks later, the doctor called me in for an immediate ultrasound scan.

The doctor was very quiet as he performed the scan, then took a long pause before he told us, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your baby is alive, but the bad news is you were having twins and one of them died.” Because I was at risk of losing my other baby, the specialist put me on complete bed rest.

In 1996, on a very cold February morning, Nicholas James Salerno came into this world. He was a beautiful baby, with lots of black hair. The minute I held him in my arms, whatever motherly instincts I lacked before, stormed in a hundredfold. I felt like a lioness. Looking straight into his eyes, I promised him, “Nothing will ever harm you my boy”. We were ecstatic. All that waiting was at an end, and we thought the nightmare was over.

However, by the time I took him to the doctor for the six month check-up, we had several concerns. The doctor flatly said, “Well, he probably has cerebral palsy”. I was so angry at God, but Mark and I were so shocked we barely discussed it… All our energies were poured into making things right for our son. We were not going to wallow in our grief. Our son fought to be in this world and deserved everything that life has to offer. We got him every available treatment and took our beautiful baby everywhere so he could reach his potential.

Grief into Depression

Nick was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegia, which means he doesn’t have any control over his arms, legs or any of the muscles in his body, including his throat. Although he cannot speak with his mouth, he has the most beautiful big, brown eyes which are windows to his soul. Doctors believe that this major disability was caused by a lack of oxygen when his twin died. Because I felt that I had somehow caused this. I fell into periods of deep depression.

I remember taking him to see a family member perform the lead role at the theatre one day. We were all excited to see him, especially Nicholas. During the performance, Nicholas laughed uproariously at all the funny scenes. Many people stared and whispered about him while they shook their heads. One couple moved further away. Since Nicholas was in the front row, he didn’t notice, but I saw it all. I was deeply disturbed seeing them refer to Nicholas in such a mean spirited way. Over the next few days, I felt abandoned and forlorn.

The Light and the Voice

Then, one day as I knelt on the cold, tiled, bathroom floor to take off the braces that Nick wears on his feet; I suddenly felt this warm ray beaming down on my head, over my hands and onto his feet.

There was no light, but I felt it blazing right through me while a distinct voice was whispering, “The feet of Jesus, the feet of Jesus. He is the messenger of Jesus— you are the caretaker of Jesus’ messenger.” At that moment, I realized why God created me. I remembered Psalm 139 and finally understood my life’s purpose as the caretaker of Jesus’ messenger. Being Nick’s mom is the great privilege God bestowed when he trusted me to take care of this boy who would change the world.

Sometime later, Nicholas was asked by St. Anne’s Catholic Parish to play Jesus on the cross. When they asked him I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me. How is that going to work?” But when Nicholas played this role he was unbelievable. As they placed him on the cross with his arms outstretched, his legs crossed and his head hanging down, he precisely emulated the crucifix in our Church. Nick’s depiction of Jesus dying on the cross moved both men and women to tears. It was indeed a miracle.

A Vision beyond Death

Although most people had regarded him as broken, without a voice, he portrayed Christ so eloquently that I felt Mary’s sorrow as she gazed upon her crucified Son. Her great love for Him glowed in my heart. That year, Nick’s portrayal of Jesus was chosen by the Archdiocese of Milwaukee as one of the ten most inspirational stories of 2014. His delight in the achievement warmed me with motherly pride!

Some time ago, I experienced a glorious vision of heaven. As I rested on a marble bench, resplendent in a lovely, white dress, I beheld Nicholas joyfully dashing towards me, walking on his own without a wheelchair. He looked so handsome, strong and joyful as he sat down beside me. At last, I heard his own sweet voice sharing his thoughts with me, thanking me for all the things I
got right and gently chiding me for those I got wrong. Everything that I had missed in his life was restored as I finally heard Nick speak those tender words, “I love you, Mom.” I no longer fear death now because I can’t wait for that day to come.

I found God in my 50’s so it’s never too late. Psalm 139 says I was created in my mother’s womb for a reason. I truly believe that my main purpose in life is to be Nicholas’s mother. He was born with a mission to challenge us all to be more like Christ. I was chosen to share his journey to spread the message that God finds worth in each of us.

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Article is based on the testimony shared by Nancy Salerno in the Shalom World program “Triumph”. To watch the episode visit: https://www.shalomworldtv.org/videos/index/1105

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