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Feb 26, 2021 99 Teresa Weider,
Engage

A Twist in New Year Resolution

Too often we are keen to jot down the resolutions; but fail to keep them. How about having a twist this time?

Drifting to Nowhere

At this time of year, the feeling that my life was adrift was an annual occurrence. The end of one year and the beginning of another, inevitably led me to contemplate the changes I wanted to make in my life and within myself. However, a few weeks into the year, New Year’s resolutions took on less importance. The energy these intentions gave me on December 31st and through January would inevitably begin to wane. I always wanted to move forward in the quest for holiness and better myself, but so often I just got stuck. Although the good intentions were still there, knowing how to make it happen and stick to them, often eluded me. Figuratively speaking, I felt as though I was stationary or drifting without direction.

Knowing my love of words, God has a way of speaking the language of my heart. One evening a few years ago, as the annual post New Year rut was weighing on my heart, a poem seemed to flow from my heart like an answer to my prayer.

I, Myself and Me
There was a ship that sat
Amid the still deep sea,
The only souls that came aboard were
I, Myself and Me
We sat and watched each sunset
With silence, not a sound.
I thought there was a whisper
And got up to look around.
A presence filled the air that night.
That nobody could see.
Its message was intended for
I, Myself and Me
My voice then broke into the night
I said to Myself and Me,
“How can we just be sitting here?
We’ve lost our destiny!”
I told Myself to take the helm
And set a course for Me.
I seized hold of the captain’s wheel
To steer us through the sea.
The ship it made no motion.
I still sat amid the sea.
We had the will to make her move,
but could not….
I, myself nor me.
A whisper sounded once again,
And said these words to Me
“Call to the wind and ask for help,
It’s power can set you free!”
Me, Myself held hands with I
We bowed on bended knee.
We asked the Spirit in the wind
“Blow us across the sea!”
We felt a shift, a motion,
Our course what would it be?
The ship it turned within the wind,
To glide most effortlessly.
We knew not the direction
Or how rough the sea would be.
We had to trust the Spirit
To lead
I, Myself and Me.

Just a Call Away

The first draft of this poem flowed from my pen so quickly; I could not write fast enough to keep up with the message God wanted me to contemplate. You see, for a great part of my life I considered God as my very own wonderful insurance plan. Decisions concerning my life were mine to make and if something didn’t go quite right, I’d call on Him to get me out of a bind. I would call on Him as I would an insurance agent.

I always knew He was there, but it didn’t seem right to burden Him with the mundane day to day decisions. It was like: I am glad my insurance agent is a phone call away, but I don’t need him driving with me in my car every day.

The world told me that I was the captain of my own ship! I believed I was the captain of my own ship, but as each year passed I became aware that I did not possess my own compass. What silly thinking! Furthermore, I didn’t even know how to sail. I didn’t know the first thing about navigation or setting a course through rough waters! It was this kind of wrong thinking that left me stuck or adrift, the first few months of each new year. God was never my insurance plan. He knows the plan for my life better than I ever would. He was and is the plan!

A New Twist

It was important to recognise the need for improvement in my life and to desire holiness, but I couldn’t do it on my own by sheer will power. When I contemplated the words that spilled over into the poem, I felt God knocking on my heart to assure me that He was there, just waiting for me to ask Him to direct my life. He wanted to give me the plan and the means to do it. God tells us in Proverbs 3:5-8: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely. In all your ways be mindful of Him, and He will make straight your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes.”

It took a long time, as each resolution was made and forgotten, for me to realize that I should ask God what His plan would have been for me in the New Year. As I began to align my will with His will, it became clear that I did not lack willpower. How foolish I had been. When I aligned my will with His, I received His power through me. Saint Paul tells us in Phillipians 4:13 “I have the strength for everything through Him who empowers me.”

My New Year’s resolutions have a new twist to them these days. In contemplative prayer I ask God to reveal, in His time, His New Year’s plan for me. In humility I ask the Holy Spirit to lead me and make things happen according to God’s holy plan. I ask for the gift of faith, so that even in the dark waters, I will know His presence, trust that He is leading me and accept His holy will for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you; plans for your welfare and not your woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” Isn’t that lovely?

For those of us who have the benefit of age and experience, it is clear that there are seasons and times for everything in life. This may be the time to stop drifting and this may be the season to align your New Year’s resolution(s) with God’s holy will for you. May Almighty God Bless you and speak to you in the language of your heart.

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Teresa Weider

©Teresa Weider serves the Church remarkably through her active involvement in various ministries over the years. She lives with her family in Folsom, California, USA.

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