Sitting down to a blank screen, I chuckle as I recall many amusing moments where grace has appeared in the midst of farce. It is difficult to pick just one story to share. The truth is, my whole life is a story, since the day God called me into being. “You formed my inmost being; You knit me in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13) I have had one encounter after another with God. How do I choose just one?
Looking back, this series of events seemed to be comically orchestrated by God to teach me a lesson. Although I know that God is always with me, the time I spend quietly in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament is fundamental for my well-being. Spending time alone with my Lord enables me to recharge my spiritual batteries. This particular day, I had planned to spend an hour with God in the Adoration Chapel. I drove into the parking area and was pleased to see so many empty parking spaces. “Aah, perfect,” I thought, “a nice quiet hour with Jesus all to myself!” I grabbed the prayer bag I had equipped with a Bible, a journal, prayer books and a rosary and headed to the Adoration Chapel.
At this point, I felt proud of myself for having carved an hour out of my busy schedule for adoration, for having gathered the appropriate adoration materials and for being on time. I was pleased that God had rewarded my endeavors by clearing the chapel for my arrival. However, as I turned the corner and walked up the pathway, I saw two women engaged in an intense conversation directly outside the chapel door. Had they not seen the sign—Adoration Chapel, quiet zone?
I was happily on a mission and I only had an hour. Jesus was waiting for ME. But wait! … There were two other people in the chapel … Where did they come from? No matter, I was still happily on a mission and I still only had an hour.
The Chapel is small and seats approximately 25 people. Choosing the right seat was crucial if I wanted to avoid interrupting other adorers in their prayer or avoid being interrupted by them. I scanned the room, spotted the perfect place, settled in and knelt to pray. Ugh! Although I was desperately trying to focus on my prayer, the restlessness of the other people began to distract me. One rustled her papers and books and the other repeatedly searched the contents of her purse or readjusted her chair. “Block it out, block it out” I repeated to myself. Meanwhile, the conversation between the two women outside seemed to get louder and more animated. Calmly, I got up, opened the door and quietly placed my pointer finger to my lips. Common courtesy would surely dictate that they would take their conversation elsewhere. Yes, they moved … but only a few feet to the left! Sighing, I returned inside.
I knelt down again, closed my eyes, placed my head into clutched hands and tried to pray. As if on cue, another woman walked and who chose to sit in the seat next to me. Although she settled in fairly quickly, I thought I heard her sucking on hard candy. The candy clicked against her teeth in the relatively quiet room. A few minutes passed and it occurred to me that she was taking a long time to finish this candy. I discreetly glanced her way. Immediately, I took a second glance to verify my first impression. “Oh my!” It was not candy in her mouth. She had false teeth and clicked them quite vigorously, in and out of her mouth, as she prayed. I quickly faced forward. A little stunned, I just knelt there, partially wanting to laugh and partially wanting to cry as MY hour was slipping away.
Distracted by thoughts far from adoration, the frustration of MY hour not proceeding as peacefully and spiritually as planned began to wear on me. Breathing deeply, I helplessly sat in the Lord’s presence. One of the other adorers took her rosary out to pray. She was an elderly woman and seemed unaffected by the things that distracted me. “How sweet,” I thought. Perhaps if I took her lead I could focus properly on the prayers and mysteries of my own rosary. She began but prayed in an audible whisper in a foreign language with a choppy cadence. It was impossible to follow her rhythm; it was impossible to follow her language. It seemed impossible for me to focus on my rosary and pray to MY Lord, who was certainly waiting to hear from me.
One of the women who had been talking outside came into the chapel. She approached me and apologized for talking loudly. I politely nodded while smiling at her and closed my eyes to concentrate on my rosary. As luck would have it, she sat directly behind me, noisily settled in, pulled out her rosary and began to audibly whisper her prayers in my other ear. At this point I thought of yielding MY time to the circumstances but the hour was not over yet.
A few minutes later a sister of the other original adorer came in looking for her sibling. She recognized me and asked if I could stay in her sister’s place. I quietly nodded. Overcome with gratitude, she engulfed me in a big hug. As her powerful perfume and copious hair spray overwhelmed my senses, I gasped for air and tried to hold back laughter at the same time. This could not be happening!
The cherry on the sundae came as the two sisters exited the Adoration Chapel and the regular Friday lawn service showed up, complete with back-up beeping trucks, lawn mowers, leaf blowers and chatty gardeners. Out wafted the heady aroma of perfume and hairspray and in drifted the sweet smell of freshly cut grass.
What was happening here? Why were so many noises and disruptions obstructing the peaceful hour I had planned to spend with Jesus? Did these people not realize how selfish they were being? No sooner had these thoughts crossed my mind when a light bulb turned on in my head and heart. Perhaps God was using these back-to-back disruptions to speak to me. What could He be trying to teach me?”
“Humility” popped into my mind. Having such a busy schedule, surely God appreciated the sacrifice of MY time. Although this might be true, I could see my attitude was distorted. What was I thinking? Although it is my will, it is His time. He gave it to me. It was not me giving Him a gift. It was He who gave me the gift of Himself in the Blessed Sacrament. Furthermore, every minute of every day is His gift to me.
In the midst of such a busy life, I was inordinately proud that I had carved out an entire hour to spend with my Lord. However, I felt like Cain, in the book of Genesis, who gave God his leftovers. I did not give God the best of me, I gave Him my leftover time. My self-satisfaction left and I felt shame wash over me.
Prepared with all the appropriate tools for an hour of adoration, I did not consider that He might want me to just BE with Him, like a friend. “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. Do I have eyes to see and ears to hear when He tries to get my attention? I did not have to plan the entire hour as if it were a meeting with an agenda. I just needed to BE. Although He wants me because He loves me, it is not He who needs me, it is I who need Him! Additionally, I should not have entered the Adoration Chapel as if I were looking for an auditorium seat but with reverence for the Holy ground I had entered.
Although I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and truly love Him, the fact is He does not belong exclusively to me. Each person who came to this Adoration Chapel came to be with Him. I acted like a selfish child demanding parental attention to the detriment of other siblings who also had needs.
Many other thoughts surfaced as I sat in quiet shame. The heaviness began to steal my joy. Then suddenly, and almost as if orchestrated, everyone left the Adoration Chapel, one by one. I was going to be alone with Jesus for the last 10 minutes of the hour. God in His mercy and tender love knew my sorrow and gave me the longing of my heart. At last I was alone with Him!
I began to well up as I read the scripture etched on the Adoration Chapel door. It said, “Come all who are weary … and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). In my heart, I knew I was not His only child seeking consolation from Him in this chapel. Internally I smiled, humbly sighed and counted myself as one of the many as I said aloud, “Okay, Lord, I am here and I am weary.” After a few minutes of alone time I am pretty sure I heard Him chuckle as MY cell phone rang and broke the precious silence.
When recalling the abundant grace, mercy and forgiveness Jesus patiently bestows upon me as I falter through life, I am awed by His great love for me. I am blessed because He knows my love language and uses humorous situations to catch my attention so He can patiently teach me to love as He loves.
From the moment of conception, we become part of “The Story” in God’s Book of Life. Often, we chalk up our encounters with God to coincidence, happenstance, annoyances or fate. However, if we realize how intricately our lives depend on God it suddenly becomes clear how He reaches out to us so we can become aware of His presence in our lives. He tells us, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20) and “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
I recall the words of Saint John: “But there are also many other things which Jesus did, which, if they were written every one, the world itself, I think, would not be able to contain the books that should be written” (John 21:25). I understand that passage a little better today and feel a kindred spirit with Saint John as I look forward to accumulating more anecdotes of God’s story interwoven with mine.
© Teresa Ann Weider serves the Church remarkably through her active involvement in various ministries over the years. She lives with her family in Folsom, California, USA.
By now most of you are probably aware of the depressing statistics regarding the “nones,” that is to say, those in this country who claim no religious affiliation. The most recent survey showed that now fully one fourth of Americans belong to no religion at all—that’s approximately 80,000,000 people. And among those in the 18-29 age group, the percentage of nones goes up to 40! This increase has been alarmingly precipitous. Fifty years ago, only a fraction of the country would have identified as unreligious, and even a decade ago, the number was only at 14%. What makes this situation even more distressing is that fully 64% of young adult nones were indeed raised religious but have taken the conscious and active decision to abandon their churches. Houston, we definitely have a problem. I have written frequently regarding practical steps that religious leaders ought to be taking to confront this rising tide of secularist ideology, and I will continue to do so. But for the moment, I would like to reflect on a passage from the Gospel of Luke, which was featured on the Solemnity of Mary the Mother of God, and which sheds considerable light on this issue. It has to do with the visit of the shepherds to Mary and the Christ child in the stable at Bethlehem, and it hinges on three words: haste, astonished, and treasured. We hear that, upon receiving the angel’s message, the shepherds “went in haste” to visit the holy family. This echoes a passage from a bit earlier in Luke’s Gospel: having heard the news of her own pregnancy and that of Elizabeth, Mary, we are told, “went in haste” to the hill country of Judah to help her cousin. The spiritual truth that both of these pericopes disclose is that energy, verve, enthusiasm, and a sense of mission come precisely from a good that is perceived to be both objective and transcendent to the ego. If I might borrow the language of Dietrich von Hildebrand, it is only the objectively valuable—as opposed to the merely subjectively satisfying—that fills the mind and soul with passion and purpose. When the sense of objective and transcendent value is attenuated—as it necessarily is within the context of a secularist worldview—passion and mission fade away. John Henry Newman said that what gives a river verve and movement is precisely the firmness of its banks. When those banks are broken down, in the interest of a supposed freedom, the once energetic body of water spreads out into a great lazy lake. What we have in our secularist culture, which denies the transcendent good, is a subjectivism that gives rise to the “whatever” attitude. Toleration and self-assertion reign supreme; but no one goes anywhere in haste. Rather, we all rest on our individual air mattresses in the midst of the placid but tedious lake. The second word I want to emphasize is “astonished.” Luke tells us that those who heard the shepherds’ testimony were “astonished” at the news. The King James Version renders this as “they wondered at” the message. Wonder, amazement, and astonishment happen when the properly transcendent power breaks into our ordinary experience. The findings of the sciences delight and inform us, but they don’t astonish us, and the reason for this is that we are finally in control of the deliverances of the scientific method. We observe, we form hypotheses, we make experiments, and we draw conclusions. Again, this is all to the good, but it doesn’t produce amazement. Dorothy Day witnessed to the astonishing when she said, upon the birth of her first child, that she felt a gratitude so enormous that it would correspond to nothing or no one in this world. Mother Teresa was properly amazed when, on a lengthy train journey to Darjeeling, she heard a voice calling her to minister to the poorest of the poor. The apostles of Jesus fell into wonder when they saw, alive again, their master who had been crucified and buried. These are the most precious kinds of experiences that we can have, and if St. Augustine is right, they alone can satisfy the deepest longing of the heart. A secularist ideology—the worldview embraced by the “nones”—produces the clean, well-lighted space of what we can know and control. But it precludes true astonishment, and this leaves the soul impoverished. The final word from Luke upon which I’d like to reflect is “treasured.” The evangelist tells us that Mary “treasured these things, pondering upon them in her heart.” Newman said that Mary, precisely in this contemplative, ruminative frame of mind, is the model of all theology. I’d press it further. She is the real symbol of the Church in its entire function as the custodian of revelation. What is the Sistine Chapel? What is Notre Dame Cathedral? What is The Divine Comedy of Dante? What is the Summa contra gentiles of Thomas Aquinas? What are the sermons of John Chrysostom? What are the teachings of the great ecumenical councils? What is the liturgy in all of its complexity and beauty? These are all means by which the Church stubbornly, century in and century out, treasures the astonishing events of God’s self-manifestation. Up and down the ages, the Church ponders what God has done so that the memory of these mighty deeds might never be lost. As such, she performs an indispensable service on behalf of the world—though the world might not have any sense of it. She keeps holding up the light against the darkness. So to the “nones” and to those who are tempted to move into secularism, I say, don’t float on the lazy lake; rather, go in haste! Don’t settle for something less than astonishment; be amazed! Don’t fall into spiritual amnesia; treasure!
Question: How can I help my friend, who just came out as a gay man and wants to marry his partner? I want to support my friend but I also want to be true to my Catholic faith. Answer: This is a question I am frequently asked. Many people have a friend or family member who identifies as gay or lesbian. How should Catholics respond? The first answer is to love her/him. If someone “comes out” as gay or lesbian, it does not change who she/he is at her/his core. She/He is created in the image and likeness of God. He loved her/him so much, that He suffered and died on the Cross to atone for her/his sins, as well as ours. He invites both of us to share in His redemption. Since God has loved us so much, He entreats us to share that love with our neighbors. However, as Saint Thomas Aquinas reminds us, love is “willing the good of the other.” We always want the other person’s best interests, and the ultimate best interest is her/his salvation. So, to love her/him truly requires that we act in a way that aids her/his salvation. How can we do that? First, we pray for her/him. We pray for her/him not as if we were superior— for Jesus had some rather sharp rebukes for the Pharisees who looked down upon others. Rather, we pray for her/him as one sinner for another. As the Protestant pastor D.T. Niles once said, “[Christianity] is about one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.” We, who have encountered and fallen in love with Jesus—and are seeking to conform our life to His—pray for others that they may find the same healing and mercy that we have received. Second, we try to put our own lives in order so that our bad example does not cause others to fall into sin. In particular, if we are married we live out our marriages with joy and openness to life. In a world where the evil one loves to attack marriages (since a good and holy marriage is one of the clearest representations of God’s love on Earth), we, as Christians, must fight for the dignity and sanctity of our own marriages. This is a powerful witness to the world, which often sees only distortions of marriage and the cheapening of God’s great gift of sexuality. Finally, when the time is right, we gently and lovingly share the good news of Jesus, including His good news about sexuality and marriage. The Gospel permeates every aspect of human existence—our friendships, our finances, and even our bedrooms. It is truly good news! We believe that God created sexuality and marriage for two specific purposes (to live out a one-flesh union between a husband and wife and to be open to the gift of life); these purposes are not burdens but pathways to our own happiness! We must share the Church teaching on sexuality and marriage, not as a list of condemnations but as a teaching that authentically fulfills us as human beings made in His image. It is possible to love the sinner but hate the sin. Jesus did that frequently. When we love the sinner, we pray for her/him to repent, we set an example of a life changed by the Gospel and we speak words of truth to her/him, in love.
Ringing in the Ears Time has passed like a whirlwind but I still cherish memories of the sweet innocence I enjoyed in my childhood. It was a time when little deeds were done out of pure love, and I embraced God above all things with great faith. Like many other kids I had an imaginary friend and He was Jesus. For me He was more than just an imaginary friend—He was REAL. I talked to Him all day about everything, even the most frivolous things. In this busy world it is a pity that simple habits like walking with Jesus are nearly lost. Carried away by the tussles and hustles of life, we tend to turn to Him only at the most critical times while leaving Him out of our everyday lives. If you are feeling broken, the world says, stand up and keep busy. When facing failure, the world says keep moving. Rather than taking time out to revive with silent prayer, people resort to all kinds of distractions. It is no wonder depression is so prevalent. Drenched in the noise of entertainment and social media, we seldom hear what God is saying to us! Does God Really Speak? It happened while I was in the prime years of college life. I was blessed to be in a Catholic college that had a beautiful chapel at the heart of the premises. Daily mass, morning prayers, rosary and evening vespers were intertwined into a program of classes, assignments, projects and exams. We had a prayer group led by Jesus Youth, an international missionary movement at the service of the church. During one of the prayer meetings, our college mate Maria stepped in looking perplexed. We patiently listened to her prayer request. A close school friend had been admitted for critical heart surgery. Like us, she was in the final year of college, preparing for final exams and expecting a good placement when her health crashed. Suddenly she was stripped of all her dreams and doctors believed she only had a 30 percent chance of recovering completely, even with an operation. We were deeply shocked to hear this news. The serene, happy atmosphere turned sober. I took the request to my heart and felt a strong urge to pray for this unknown friend. Literally, I took her case into my heart. Never have I bothered Jesus so much for anyone, not even for my personal woes. The next day was the surgery and my prayers doubled. Around 3 p.m. we had a break time and I could not sit in class anymore. I walked to the chapel, planning to recite the chaplet of Divine Mercy. It was eerily silent when I entered the empty chapel. Not following the usual routine of finding a corner, I strode to the front and began to pray. I could feel my heart wrench in pain. It seemed like something was wrong with my heart. While tears flowed down my cheeks, I begged the Lord to heal her. As I poured my heart out to Jesus, I heard a thunder- like voice saying, “She will be alright.” Shocked, I almost fell. I looked around but no one was there. For a while, I could not grasp my experience but felt peace of heart. I also felt a shiver run down my spine. I quickly made the sign of the cross then returned to class; resounding in my heart was “He spoke to me!” Unceasing Love of God That evening, Maria came to us with a wide gleaming smile. I knew she was about to share the happy news. The operation was successful and, to the amazement of the doctors, our unknown friend recovered very quickly. I later learned that she had been placed in one of the best companies in the country. In his merciful love, God worked a miracle to preserve her life and allow her to keep pursuing her dreams. Years later, this incident still gives me chills. Psalm 118, verse 5 resonates in my heart: Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. This episode impressed on me the importance of praying for others. Prayer can unlock the amazing grace of God! God has chosen you and me to bestow a beautiful gift—prayer. A torrent of grace is showered when we pray for others! A sheep rancher in Australia found that his violin was out of tune. Since he could not find another musical instrument to provide him the standard note, he wrote to a radio station asking them to strike that note. They did just that— stopped a program and struck the note. The sheep rancher caught it and retuned his violin so it could play beautiful melodies in response to the musician’s touch. Likewise, your daily quiet time can help you hear God’s “standard notes,” realign your life with His and put you in harmony with His way. God speaks to all of us. He constantly speaks through sacred scripture, liturgy, people, circumstances and events. He may even speaks to us during times of prayer. All we need to do is spend some time with Him and listen! Listen, let your heart keep seeking, Listen to His constant speaking, Listen to the Spirit calling you. Listen to His inspiration, Listen to His invitation, Listen to the Spirit calling you.
Suffering is part and parcel of this life here on earth. None of us will escape its clutches. We march on, striving to “offer up” our sufferings in union with those of Christ’s on the cross. However, this idea of offering it up may sound trite. We might intend to encourage others but when that advice is directed to us in our own sufferings it is often unpalatable. Redemptive suffering is all well and good, of course, unless we are the one actually suffering. How do we find our way as we grapple with the weight of the cross on our shoulders and the splinter digging into our hands? How do we unite our suffering with Jesus’ instead of getting bogged down in the pain and despair? Two Guides Along the Journey In Hannah Hunard’s novel “Hinds Feet in High Places” the character Much-Afraid longs to escape the pain and suffering of her life in the Valley of Humiliation and join the Chief Shepherd in the High Places. To accept his invitation and live in the High Places she must embark on a long and arduous journey, accompanied by two guides, Sorrow and Suffering. In this delightful allegory of the spiritual life Much-Afraid makes progress only when she learns to accept and rely on Sorrow and Suffering. It is the same for us. God presents us with daily opportunities to prune our wills until they are in accordance with His, yet we let many of these slip through our fingers for fear of suffering or sorrow. Once we accept that these are integral to our spiritual journey, we can make rapid progress. Perseverance Wins! When God presents our cross, we cannot be like Sarah Miles in Graham Greene’s novel “The End of the Affair.” She initially asked God to permit her to suffer: “If I could suffer like You, I could heal like You.” For a time, she felt peace of soul and mind. However, her prayer changed when she began to suffer: “Dear God, You know that I desire to want Your pain but I don’t want it now. Take it away for a while and give it to me another time. ” Instead, we should simply pray: Thank you for this pain. I give it to You, to use for Your glory. It sounds simple yet it is a difficult prayer. Prayer in the season of suffering is often dry. It takes considerable effort but perseverance during difficult times results in enormous spiritual gain. Seek God in the midst of your suffering. Pray in both structured and unstructured ways. Recite a daily rosary. Go to Mass often and confession regularly. Spend time in contemplation, in conversation with God. Lay bare your heart and trust Him to see you safely through this storm. You Are Not Alone Jesus offers to carry our burdens: “Come to Me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He, also, had help in His suffering. Simon of Cyrene helped Jesus carry the cross to Calvary. Perhaps this was only a small help but it was sufficient to enable Christ to fulfil His mission and direct His tottering footsteps up the final slope to Calvary. We do not have to undertake our suffering alone. Asking God for help in your season of suffering does not mean that you do not accept the cross He has given you. Asking for prayers or practical support might feel humiliating but perhaps this very act of humbling ourselves is central to God’s plan for us. Accepting suffering does not mean we have to carry all of it by ourselves. God has entrusted people to us—family, friends, clergy, colleagues, neighbors. This might be the very reason God introduced them into your life. Let them help you, especially if it makes you feel humiliated. For the Greater Joy When we are engulfed in a season of suffering it is difficult to look ahead to a time of joy, when the weight of our burden will be lifted. However, there is a truth about our crosses that we often overlook—the greater the cross, the greater the joy that follows. Jesus accepted His cross willingly: “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet, not My will but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). He also knew that once this suffering passed the glory of His resurrection would surpass the agony of the cross. In the midst of their despair, imagine the joy that filled the hearts of His followers when they saw Him risen from the dead. How much more joy did He experience, knowing He had fulfilled God’s will and redeemed the world? The same is true for us. Someone in my own family had a mental health crisis that plunged us into sorrow and suffering for an extended time. Once that crisis abated joy swiftly followed. At the close of “Hinds Feet in High Places,” the Chief Shepherd transformed Sorrow into Joy and Suffering into Peace. Much-Afraid was transformed into Grace and Glory. Nothing was impossible for Him. Imagine what He can do with our suffering.
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